If YOUR character(s) met people in Twilight...

[Madame Celeste]

This is a spin-off of the thread "If your favorite character met people in Twilight." We've already seen what your fave characters would do if they met Edward, Bella, Jacob, or any other character(s) from the Twilight series. Now let's see how OUR original characters from stories, fan fiction, RPG's, and other such media would handle being face to face with one or more of the Twilight characters.

(My own post coming soon.)

[neoeevee]

Katie (kid's novel main character): Vampires? Meep...
Edward: Oh no, we won't do anything. All we do is sparkle.
Katie: ...wut.
Aquila (Katie's dragon sidekick): SPARKLY THINGS. MUST NOM.
Edward: ...oh SHI- *nom'd*

Kura Nakajima (hellchild fanfic spawn of Vanitas and Subaru Nakajima): Hello there.
Bella: ...hi.
Kura: What's your name?
Bella: ...Bella Swan.
Kura: Okay, cool. ^^ I'm Kura Nakajima.
Bella: Hey, shouldn't you be in middle school or somethi- OH HEY EDWARD. *walks off*
Kura: Okay, g'bye! *looks at Edward* ...wow, what a creeper.

Cupcakes (earth pony, psycho version of Pinkie Pie): *GASP* OH HEY, I've never seen you around here before! What's your name! Where'd you come around? What's up with your eyes? *verbal tsunami while the Cullens stare blankly* Hey, you wanna make cupcakes?

*several hours later*

Xefta: Oh hey, you're back.
Cupcakes: Yup. I made cupcakes~
Xefta: Oh, lovely. More cupcakes.
Hananox: Cupcakes' cupcakes? Oh, yay! *tries one, nearly breaks tooth* ...what's in these? Wait, no, don't tell me. After the Blueberry muffins... I don't want to know.
Xefta: ...are they sparkling?

[Madame Celeste]

^Ooh, sparkling cupcakes?! I want one!
...
Wait, never mind. They probably taste like FAIL.

[annabellamy]

It would go something like this:
(Richard Amsterdam and Carlisle Cullen)

Richard: Hey- you have kids?
Carlisle: Technically yes.
Richard: How 'technically'?
Carlisle: I forced upon them the gift of vampirism to create the family I can never have.
Richard: ... I have three boys.

[PuzzleChick]

Luce: "They're...vampires?"
Joseph: "That's what they said. Although my presence doesn't seem to bother them."
Luce: "But my dad never mentioned any vampires that sparkled..."
Joseph: "Maybe Hell was too embarrassed by them to endorse them."
Edward: "This is the skin of a killer!" *mopeangstglower*
Joseph: "And chicks actually think this guy is hot?"
Luce: "Yeah...I wouldn't want anyone thinking I endorsed these either." =/

Out of kindness Luce would let them live for awhile, until eventually he becomes aggravated by their constant bitchiness, and with Joseph's encouragement he blows them all up.

----------

Trae: "V-vampires?" D= *hides behind Murphy*
Murphy: *gets out his rifle* "This won't take too long. I bet Kenta would pay good money for one of their sparkly pelts..."

A week later he and Trae both have fabulous new armor.

----------

Alistair: *comparing them to the book* "Yep, I was right, they're twice as annoying in person."
Reed: >D "HEY GUESS WHAT EDDY. THREE BOOKS FROM NOW YOU'RE GOING TO CHEW YOUR DEMONSPAWN OUT OF BELLA'S UTERUS AND THEN JACOB'S GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH IT." *rolls around laughing at their expressions*

Reed then sends pizzas and strippers to their house every day for a year until they leave town.

[Anya the Purple]

Colin: Hey Jose, why's he sparkling?
Joselyn: *Shakes head* Wonder where his boyfriend is.
Edward: *Walks up* Hello, Joselyn. I love you. I CANNOT BE NEAR YOU!
Colin: EEP! *Jumps backwards from loud noise*
Joselyn: Don't you have a boyfriend?
Edward: Wha-NO! How could you accuse me of cheating on you? I LOVE YOU!
Colin: *Mutters*
Joselyn: Get out of my face, creep.
Edward: BUT I LOVE YOU!
Joselyn: *Commences ass-kicking*
Jose

[dictatorofengland]

Well I was very bored today, and when I write I get a bit too caught up in it, sorry this is long and full of errors!

A nice chat

Inside a secluded little coffee shop in a dark London street, an American pretty boy sat hidden away by a tiny little table where he wouldn't be noticed. The place was empty apart from two builders drinking tea near the window and an elderly man reading the paper, it was the perfect place to talk unnoticed. Edward was there dead on time as arranged, yet half an hour passed before the girl finally arrived. A blonde walked in, looked around, and made a bee-line towards Edward's table, smiling widely to him.

'Hi! You must be Edward! I'm Eva!', she stretched out her hand to shake his and he hesitated before returning the gesture. She slumped down onto the chair opposite his and rested her elbows on the table, 'It's great to meet you, it's so nice to find someone else with my problem!'

'Yeah' he muttered, gazing over her shoulder through the shop's window. Edward was not supposed to talk to blondes and was sure his wife wan't far away.

'So you're a vampire? Wow, I didn't even know they really existed. Life must be bloody tough not being able to go out in sunlight'

'Hah!' the vampire sneered, 'You really think that we burn in the sun? I bet you also think we hate crucifixes and die if we get staked. You clearly have no idea what real vampires are like'.

'Oh? I'm sorry' Eva blushed, 'As I said, I've never met a real vampire before. So what's it really like then?'

Edward turned to the side dramatically, his alabaster fingers firmly gripping the edge of the table,'It's more horrible than anything you'd ever imagine'. He quickly faced her again, his eyes blood-red and glaring into hers, 'You realise how hard it is to drink blood when you don't have fangs? That's right, we don't have fangs, and this week I've ruined two new beige shirts with bloodstains my mom just can't get out! I have to go through high school over and over again because I look seventeen forever, do you know how humiliating it is to get asked for ID in stores when you're over a hundred years old? And the worst part...god, the worst part...when I'm in direct sunlight I sparkle with the most evil glittery shimmer known to man.'

'Oh', Eva did not quite know what to make of this but it was far from what she expected. Edward buried his face in his hands and sighed heavily, 'I know, there's nothing you can say to stop the pain of this eternal torment. Nobody can truly understand the horrors of the undead, which is why it is such a lonesome lifestyle. Thankfully I have my beloved Bella, and that Renesmee thing I guess.'

'I think perhaps I've picked the wrong person to talk to', Eva smiled politely, 'sorry to waste your time',she rose to leave but Edward snatched her arm roughly and hauled her down to her chair, 'No! You're not leaving yet! No, I have risked too much to come here and share angst stories for you to just leave! Do you realise what I could face now? Silent treatment from the wife, for a god...damn...week! I showed you the world of the vampire, the relentless suffering we face for our entire existance! It's only fair you tell me your blood craving problem!'

Eva rubbed her arm and forced a smile,'Share angst stories? Wow, um, if you really want', Edward's intense glare was creeping her out a lot but she decided to be polite, there was clearly something not right in his head and she didn't want to make things awkward, 'Well to keep things simple, I'm not a supernatural creature, but I have something that lives in my head and tries to take over my body. It's all under control, but sometimes I get these weird urges bite people, or pull out their fingernails, or poke out their eyeballs with my thumbs, and it makes me feel like a right weirdo! I don't want to do this stuff but in my head it's saying "doooooo iiiiiiiiiit doooooo iiiiiiiiit", it's really nasty...'

'That's disgusting!' the vampire looked at the girl in horror, 'What is wrong with you! Ugh, eyeballs? That's not dark but still moodily attractive at all! That's just plain gross, I feel a bit ill'.

'Let's talk more about vampires! So, do you drink human blood or something else?'

'Animal, but really, why would you want to rip off fingernails? I described the scent of my wife Bella as like strawberries because that is sexily angsty! You're doing this all wrong!'

'I don't want to rip off fingernails! This is so embarassing...and, straberries?'

'Yeah, strawberries, because they're tasty and sweet, I bet you taste rotton to the core!'

'But, nothing's as horrific as a vampire's life? Right? Remember the sparkling?'

Edward slamed his fist down on the table and snarled, 'you disgust me, it's romantic when I compare my girl to a highly illegal drug, it's beautiful when I confess my deep desires to drain her blood, and it's just dreamy that I'd steal her car engine in order to stop her hanging out with a guy friend! I'm a god damn catch! What kind of wife and mother are you going to make? I bet you don't even have a boyfriend you blonde freak!"

'Wow, funny, I think the fingernail ripping urge is coming on'

It was then that Eva found herself alone at the little table in the coffee shop, she vowed never again to meet with 'vampires' from the internet.

[Anya the Purple]

^Epic win.

[Deleted]

Amanda Hills: Vampires? Are you made of silicon instead of carbon and from the Pegasus galaxy?
Edward: No.. I'm from Earth..
Amanda: *walks into sunlight with Edward* OMG, you're sparkling! Where do you get your body glitter from? It'd be great for my next acting role!
Edward: That is my skin.. You can't buy it.
Amanda: Awww. That sucks. Go away. I'm not talking to you.

(sorry, that was slightly weird and off the top of my head..)

[dictatorofengland]

May 24, 2011 19:40:27 GMT -8 Anya the Purple said:

^Epic win.

Thank you I got way too carried away!

[mrsdamienthorn]

Syrah-Celeste Smith is my OC from my Omen fan fiction.

It would go something like this.

Syrah-Celeste:- Hey there, I'm Syrah.

Bella:- I'm Bella Swan. I'm from Forks.

Syrah-Celeste:- Ireland. Hey, is that your boyfriend?

Bella:- *dreamily* yeah, that's Edward. He's so handsome and I love him and we're gonna get married.

Syrah-Celeste:- I see. He looks kinda constipated to me.

Bella:- But he's hot, and he sparkles in the sunlight, like a diamond, a sexy diamond.

- Enter Edward-

Edward:- *sparkling* Hello, ladies.

Syrah-Celeste:- O.O

Bella:- I'm so cool, my boyfriend is a vampire.

Syrah-Celeste:- My boyfriend is the antichrist.

- Enter Damien Thorn-

Damien:- *arms around Syrah's waist, kissing her neck* Who are these people?

Syrah-Celeste:- This is Edward and Bella. He's a sparkling vampire.

Damien:- I see.

- Edward suddenly jumps on Bella and drains her dry. He throws his head back and lets out a wail of despair. He falls to his knees beside the mangled corpse. After a few minutes, he falls to the ground, dead. -

Syrah-Celeste:- *looks at the dead couple, then back to Damien* Damien....

Damien:- I know. I love you too.

-They kiss-

[Prime Spinosaur]

I...honestly don't know how they'd react to the Twilight characters.

Actually, to be honest, I think they'd pretty much ignore them.

Accept Yoko, because the Cullens would be eating all of her friends.

Yoko the fox: ^_^ *Walking through the woods*
Edward Cullen: *Pounces on a deer and snaps it's neck.
Yoko: 0.0
Edward Cullen: *Starts draining the deer's blood*
Yoko: D:< *Flames Cullen's ass with magic powers*

EDIT: A thought just occurred to me. The protagonist of my main project is named Tyler....

"It's okay Tyler, just calm down." said Mana, in the passenger's seat. A wide eyed Tyler who would've been too short, had it not been for seat adjustment, been raised to proper height.

"Why am I doing this again? I thought the legal driving age was 16!" exclaimed Tyler.

"We're already wanted fugitives Tyler, there's not much more to add," said Mana, "besides, if I'm not here, and you need to get away, or ever find a car, you need to know how to drive it." He looked at the still frightened eleven year old boy who's hands were trembling.

"Okay, I...I think I'm ready..." Tyler went to put his foot down on the pedal, and something happened that Tyler's reality warping brother should have seen coming. Tyler, being at the average fifth grader height, did not have enough body length to push the gas operate the upper controls.

As soon as Tyler's whole body slipped under and a tennis shoe duct taped together made contact with the accelerator, Mana's one rose red eye widened. "Oh-"

The van jumped into a charge and raced off. Mana for a brief moment, lost control of what he was doing, and accidentally opened a wormhole to another universe, the van passed through it, flying into the air.

Both of the Craft brothers started to scream as they passed through the wormhole, pausing only form a moment as they saw a blue police box pas by them, then continuing to scream.

That's when they saw a light at the end of the tunnel, and through the window, Mana saw a cloudy sky before, the car nose dived into two people who looked like they had just avoided a car accident. There was a bump and Tyler was pulled back into his seat by his brother.

That's when they heard the one boy scream.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"We are totally screwed," said Tyler. His older brother couldn't agree more.

Mana's actually kinda out of character, but that's kinda for the sake of comedy.

[mangafreak19]

Demetri: Ooh, sparkling vampires! Hai sparklepires!
Edward Cullen: Oh God...
Lauren: Whooaaa.
Max: DUDE. YOU SPARKLE. HOLY FRIGGITY FUCK.
Marilyn: Spaarrklleee... *touches Edward*
Edward Cullen: *flies into a fit of rage and explodes*
Everyone: *runs away screaming*

[Chaotic Neutral]

Tina: Sir, reports are in.
Elvis: Dammit! That's the tenth group of tourists in the last month that've gone missing in Volterra under "mysterious circumstances". What do those blood-suckers have to say about this?
Tina: We've just sent our representative to talk to them.
Elvis: Who did we send?
Tina: Matthew volunteered. With Rebecca as backup.
Elvis: But...isn't Matthew immortal?
Tina: Yes, sir.
Elvis: Huh...why would he go?
*Meanwhile, at the Vatican*
Matthew: I hate you, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Your own fault for wishing for immortality without being specific.
Matthew: But the whole point of immortality is supposed to be that you don't DIE!
Rebecca: And you don't...well, not for very long.
Matthew: But it hurts!
Rebecca: Oh, like a few minutes of horrible, agonizing torture a day is anything to complain about, you big baby. Now drink your lighter fluid and remember not to swallow the "spontaneous combustion" pill until you're inside and Aro starts to drain you.
Matthew: Yes, MOTHER.



Erin: Okay, everyone. The Pope and the whole of Italy want the Volturi out of the Volterra. They've been eating tourists, stealing from the treasury, throwing wild parties, leaving bodies and blood stains all over the place, hoarding the historical art pieces and other artifacts, and they haven't paid rent in at least two centuries. What do they have to say for themselves?
Tex: They've pretty much told us to piss off, they're all-powerful vampires and they can do what they want while we're lowly humans whose only purpose is to serve them and be eaten, neener-neener-boo-boo, blah blah blah.
Erin: So no chance they'll listen to reason?
Tex: Given their "we're better than you, we can do what we want" speech...no.
Erin: What are our options?
Black: We could just blow them up.
Reiken: That's your answer to everything!
Black: And it works! Besides, those mosquitos had it coming for selling out to Itagon for sparkle-skin!
Erin: True, but our client include the people running Italy...and the POPE. I don't think they'd appreciate collateral damage.
Reiken: They didn't take us seriously. They don't seem to believe we can actually rain fire on them from the sky.
Black: Let's prove them wrong, then!
Erin: We're not blowing up Volterra.
Black: Awww...
Erin: If it's that they won't take us seriously, it seems as though we will need to set an example for them.
Anteros: Sir! I've just located some sparkling on the screen. It looks like some sparkly boy attempting to start a forbidden romance with an idiotiotic, co-dependent pre-teen girl!
Black: Helloooooo~ example! Can we? Please? PLEEEEAAAAAAASE?
Erin: All right. You may fire when ready.
Tex: (Presses button)
*Meanwhile, in Forks at the meadow*
Edward: (Tears off shirt) THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLAAAAAH!
(Suddenly, a beam of light comes from above and vaporizes him)
Bella: D:
*Meanwhile, at the space station*
Black: HAHA! DIE, SPARKLE-BUTT DIE!
Tex: Oh, will you look at that? We've just received word that Aro is suddenly very eager to negotiate with us!

EDIT: My bad with the "Volturi hiding out in the Vatican" bit. Though it would have been pretty interesting to see how the Pope and other officials handle having vampires in their basement.

[Chibithulhu]

Niiice. One problem, though- The Volturi live in Volterra, which is LIKE the Vatican, only VAMPIREZ! So technically they probably could've rained fire on them from the sky. But since Edward's dead, I say it's win-win.

*Della and Rhea are sitting in front of the theater holding hands when Edward walks by*
Della: That one of your friends?
Rhea: No. Why would you think that?
Della: I thought you guys were doing Midsummer.
Rhea: And?
Della: That'd be Oberon.
*Edward walks up to them*
Rhea: You're right! He's a PERFECT Oberon!
Edward: Thank you.
Della: That's not a compliment. I met the guy, and he's a bastard.
Edward: Why, I never! You're teenage girls! You're supposed to be swooning!
Rhea and Della: *Look at each other* *Look at Edward*
Rhea: Sir? We're gay.

---

Marinienne: *Watches the werewolves shapeshift* Heeey! You're shifters, too?
Luta: *In wolf-form* They're different, Mari. Look, no tails.
Jacob: Wait, you have a wolf tail and ears?
Luta: Yes, and?
Jacob: And you' TALK?
Marinienne: I'm Mari, this is Luta, are you two from Mount Rinnine?
Jacob: From where?
*Pause*
Marinienne: I'm gonna take that as a no. *Another werewolf imprints on Luta*
Werewolf: I know we just met, but I love you and want to marry you now and have wolf-babies!
Luta: *Rips werewolf's throat out* I don't do romance.
Leah: Can I join you two?

[Anya the Purple]

When Joselyn And Colin Met Leah:

Colin: Hey, look. That girl over there looks sad.
Joselyn: Yeah, she does. *Walks over* Hi. You all right?
Leah: Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Fine. Just... some people being stupid.
Joselyn: Tell me about it. Want me to spear 'em for you?
Leah: What?
Joselyn: Sorry, habit I picked up at a battle camp in another dimension. HEY, wanna help us fight the ultimate evil?
Leah: Sure! Be better than hanging out with the freaking Cullens all the time.
Colin: *Walking over* Cullens?
Leah: Yeah. Fake vampires. Sparkle like pixies.
Joselyn: Well, we do have crossbows...
Leah: Wouldn't work. They can only be killed with fire.
Colin: Y'know, we have this friend who's good with fire...
A few days later, the Cullen house burned down, with all its inhabitants inside. As the arsonal tools were otherworldly, they were never identified. Leah was never seen or heard from again, but in the world of Taria, a new heroine was born, known only as Lupa, for her ability to turn into a wolf. the Ultimate Evil was vanquished, and it was really just a win-win situation.

[Deleted]

Cassie - "Sorry, what did you say you were?"
Edward - "I'm a vampire."
Cassie - "Eh. I don't see it."
Edward - "I know. All those stories you grew up with, they're not true. We don't have fangs, we aren't allergic to garlic, if you tried to stake us the wood would just break, and check this out..." *Exposes chest in the sunlight**sparkles**
Cassie - "I see. And how old are you?"
Edward - "Over a hundred." **sparkles**
Cassie - "Are you supposed to be scary?"
Edward - "Absolutely." **sparkles**
Cassie - "For the love of... would you please put your shirt back on?"
Edward - "Do I dazzle you?" **sparkles**
Cassie - "Have you met my friend Dominic?"
Edward - "Does he dazzle you?" **sparkles**
Cassie - "Hey, Dom! C'mere for a second."
Dominic - "..."
Cassie - "Dom, Eddie. Eddie, Dom."
Edward - "Hello." **sparkles**
Dominic - "..." **fwoosh**
Edward - **Spark...** "Argh!"
Cassie - "Oh, that's gotta hurt."
Dominic - "No doubt."
Cassie - "Think that'll grow back?"
Dominic - "Maybe."
Cassie - "You do nice work."
Dominic - "Thank you."
Edward - **Twitches**spark...**
Dominic - **Fwoosh**
Cassie - "So... coffee?"
Dominic - "Mmm... caffeine."

[Philophobia]

Rabb: So let me get this straight. You're a vampire.
Edward: Yes.
Rabb: You drink blood.
Edward: Of course.
Rabb: And you...sparkle?
Edward: Yeah.
Rabb: *laughs hysterically on the floor* You're kidding right? XDD
Edward: -_- You know it's not that funny.
Rabb: Of course it is! XD Everyone knows sparklepires aren't real LOLOL
*Edward takes off his shirt and sparkles in the light*
Rabb:
Caitlin: Is that a human disco ball?
Kennedy: Or did this guy a result of a glitter factory explosion?
Edward: THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER!!
Caitlin & Kennedy: ... XD

-

Bella: My boyfriend is a vampire.
Jess: Small world, as is mine.
Bella: My boyfriend saved me from getting hit by a van.
Jess: Mine helped save the world from a genocidal maniac
Bella: ... Mine broke my spine when we had rough sex one time.
Jess:

[shiko]

I thought I'd have my characters from my shonen-ai comedy that I'm writng.
Taylor: *Looks around nervous*
Bella: Lost?
Taylor: Yeah...kinda.
Brick: Hey Baby. *Brings Taylor in a close enbrace and kisses on the forehead*
Taylor: *Blushes brightly* Hi, Brick *looks over to Bella* would mind showing us around?
Bella: *Shocked* You two must be very close friends,huh?
Brick: Nope, we're together *kisses Taylor*
Bella: *Head explodes*
Brick: I guess she's never seen a gay couple before.

[Deleted]

Okay. For reference, Nawrocki is a creature that's almost a plant but not quite an animal, and Charlie is a 6'6" humanoid wolf spider.

Nawrocki: Hey, look, it's those guys what all are in the books that the pre-teen girls are reading and stuff.
Charlie: Yes. Hello, Bella, hello, Edward. I'm Charlie, and this is Nawrocki. It's lovely to meet you.
Nawrocki: God, she's ugly. She's even uglier than that ugly chick we're always hanging around.
Allie: Hey, could you at least make nasty comments behind my back?
Nawrocki: Nah, waiting till you leave and trying to remember all my catty comments sounds like too much work.
Charlie: Nawrocki...
Edward: I really shouldn't be around you.
Charlie: Oh, nonsense. So. I hear you're a vampire. How's that work out for you?
Edward: I constantly thirst for the blood of my true love. Every moment with her is both joy and agony.
Nawrocki: I hear your venom can turn people into vampires. Is that true?
Edward: Yes.
Nawrocki: Oh. Huh. That's cool and all... but Charlie's venom here can cause your skin to turn black and die. Isn't that right, Charlie?
Charlie: Don't be rude, Nawrocki.
Nawrocki: What, I'm just making conversation. So, who's the fat chick?
Edward: Don't you dare call her fat.
Nawrocki: Oh, sorry. So, who's Lady Quasimodo? The ugly bitch? Cuntarella? Stop me if I guess it.
Edward: Her name is Bella. And I'm so angry I could rip you apart. And I am physically able to, you know.
Nawrocki: Bring it, punk.

Edward lunges for Nawrocki. Nawrocki throws a spell card, causing Edward and Nawrocki to switch places. This disorients Edward for a split second, and Nawrocki hides behind a chair. Edward catches him and rips him to pieces; however, Nawrocki can transfer his consciousness into a new sprout.

Charlie: I'm terribly sorry, he's always like that around fictitious characters. I can't take him anywhere.
Nawrocki: Well, fuck you too.
Charlie: Language.
Bella: We really should be going.
Charlie: Oh, before you go... I would like to talk to you about a few things. Namely... oh, dear, how should I say this... now I know it's not really my place, but... well, about the way you treat Bella...
Edward: What? I'm old-fashioned. That's not a crime.
Charlie:Yes, but... well... when you say old-fashioned... it brings to mind the way women were treated around the turn of the twentieth century.
Edward: With chivalry.
Charlie: Like property.
Edward: How could you even say such a thing? I love Bella.
Charlie: I know, I know... this really isn't my business, I'm terribly sorry to have brought it up. I don't mean to be rude. Here, have a colorful scarf. I make the silk myself.
Bella: Um...
Allie: Well. I suppose your mothers didn't teach you manners. You say thank you when a giant talking spider gives you a handmade silk scarf.



...WTF did I just write?

[candypants]

-In Volterra, Edward steps up on stage-
Kemes (rezzed Egyptian mage): What are you doing?
Edward: I can't live without my love so I must kill myself by exposing myself as a vampire.
Kemes: *looks to the sky then back at Edward* It's day light now. Why aren't you dead?
Edward: Real vampires do not burn in the sun.
Kemes: Oh. So if you don't burn what's the point?
Edward: A vampires skin sparkles in sun light.
Kemes: Oooook.
Edward: When the humans see my skin they will know the truth and the Volturi will kill me to keep the vampire secret safe.
Kemes: *looks to the crowd and back at Edward* I do not think that's going to be the peoples reaction.
Edward: Of course it will be.
Kemes: All right. You do what you have to do. I'll be over here when you get back.
-5 minutes later-
Edward: *looking confused* They threw cups at me.
Kemes: Of course they did. They just saw a gay man with too much body glitter strip in front of them.

[Deleted]

Kate frowned at the email on her screen from her new American penpal.

'Dear Katherine', it read. This was not a good start. Nobody called Kate Katherine, it wasn't even the name on her birth certificate. 'Thanks for your letter, but I don't think it's a good idea we should carry on writing to eachother. I don't get along with many people, and I don't like having too much attention. Besides, I'm way less interesting than my wonderful, brilliant, perfect boyfriend, and he believes that this whole program is absolutely ridiculous, considering that people are stupid and shallow no matter where you go. I am not planning to stay at school much longer anyway, so you may like to ask for a new penpal.
Yours sincerely,
Bella Swan'

Having read the entire email over Kate's shoulder, her stepsister, Stacy, burst out laughing. Kate looked at her pleadingly,

"Tell me I wasn't this bad at the beginning of the year!" she begged.

"No," Stacy gasped, still laughing uncontrollably, "Even you were never THAT bad..."

[Tim Willard]

(Stream of consciousness writing)

Location: The Crossroads Bar
Time: Not Applicable

Sylvia moved through the door, eyes quickly scanning for windows and doors as she handed her SAW to the doorman and then followed with the weapons she habitually carried. Nobody said anything, since the Crossroads Bar intersected many realities, and quite a few of those realities were highly dangerous. Knives were left where they were after being checked for enchantments, and the woman blew a kiss at the doorman before moving further into the bar, her combat boots thumping on the floor.

The skull faced woman moved to the bar, her eyes roving over the well muscled and good looking bartender with a predatory hunger. The bartender smiled back, used to this kind of treatment from the women of the rougher realities.

"My pen-pal get here yet?" Sylvia asked, leaning on the bar and digging out a pack of cigarettes from her breast pocket.

"Who's that?" The bartender asked.

"Leah something or other. Werewolf shapechanger." Sylvia answered, digging out a Zippo lighter engraved with "USS Ronald Reagan" on the sides.

"Over there, by the back." The bartender answered, pointing at a table by the back wall.

"Good. Be a nice boy and bring me a cold Pyramid, will you?" She lit the cigarette and inhaled slowly, savoring the smoke, then tapped the pack. "Two packs, if you would, they're getting hard to come by."

The bartender nodded, watching the lean redhead move toward the back table. She unconsciously moved around people, keeping them at a distance, avoiding touching them.

Leah looked up, sunk in misery at being thrust out of the pack again, denied the hive-mind-ish communication she so desperately craved. Her eyes widened when she saw the lean woman in digital camouflage moving toward her, smiling to reveal steel implants where her front teeth should have been. The woman's boots were stained with what Leah could smell was blood, and she wore a 75th Ranger patch on her right shoulder.

"Leah?" The woman asked, the warm contralto a stark contrast to the lean body, dead eyes, and skull-like face.

"Yes." She managed to push out. She silently cursed herself in her own mind. Being ejected from her pack had damaged her self-esteem more than she had thought. This was a normal human woman, and she was acting like she was helpless in front of blood suckers.

"Sylvia McPheerson." The woman introduced herself, taking one of the chairs and putting her back to the wall. Leah avoided wrinkling her nose. She smelled of something that made the hair on her neck stand up. "We've been writing for a couple of months. Glad to see you found the bar."

"I didn't think they'd let me in." Leah said, looking down. "I'm a minor."

The woman laughed, the sound harsh and mocking. At first Leah thought it was mocking her, then realized that it was mocking life itself, as if the woman knew she was the victim of some cruel cosmic joke.

"You found the bar, honey, age doesn't matter here." She leaned forward to grab the ashtray before leaning back and holding it in the hand resting on her leg. "Trust me, they know here that age doesn't matter."

"Then what does matter?" Leah asked. The woman confused her. She had a feral, wild smell, soulless eyes, and stank of old blood, gunfire, diesel fuel, and death, but her voice was warmer than anyone had spoken to Leah in a long time.

"The miles, little one, the miles." Sylvia took another drag off the cigarette and waved at the bartender. Between one motion and the next, a gold coin appeared in her hand.

"Pyramid Weisen, two packs of smokes." The bartender said. Sylvia flipped the coin to him, and he snatched it out of the air before it could glimmer more than a few heartbeats. Leah wrinkled her noise at the smell of hot lubricants she could faintly sense from the man.

"Goddamn look at that ass." Sylvia smiled through the cigarette smoke as she watched the bartender walk away over the rim of her glass. She drank deep, then sighed lustily. "God, that's good."

"I don't think I belong here." Leah said, starting to push herself away from the table.

"Sit down." The woman's voice cracked with authority, the voice of a pack leader, with the full weight command behind it.

Leah sat.

"Fuck belonging." Sylvia snarled with such fury that Leah drew back, her lip rising and an involuntary growl tearing from her throat.

"Oh, now you have backbone." Sylvia sneered. "Watcha gonna do, bite me, gutless little puppy?" Leah tensed to do just that then stopped when she realized the older woman didn't smell like she was going to attack. She smelled...

calm.

"That's right. Stop thinking with your head jammed into your ass, little girl." Sylvia said, taking another deep drink off the glass. "Use your brain. Harness the anger, the rage, forge it into a tool, don't let it drive you."

"I could have killed you." Leah whispered, feeling the pounding blood recede from her temples.

"You would have tried. Maybe you would have, maybe you wouldn't have, but what would have it accomplished?" Sylvia asked, finishing the beer and waving the bartender back open with a gold coin she danced across the back of her hand. "I'd have probably hurt you bad, maybe even killed you. You'd have learned nothing, and lost more than you could know."

"What?" The bartender wasted no words.

"Two more." Sylvia looked at Leah. "You want yours in a bowl, or can you act like a big girl and drink from a glass?"

"You go too far..." Leah snarled.

"Two glasses. Hold on the bowl." Sylvia said.

The bartender nodded, and walked away, Sylvia's cold eyes locked on his retreating form.

Tired of being ignored by the strange woman who invited her to such a strange place, she reached toward the other woman, her anger speeding up her movements.

She gasped in pain, her eyes flying open and back straightening. The other woman hadn't even looked, and had grabbed her thumb in a simply maneuver and almost laid it flat against Leah's wrist.

"Don't fucking touch me without my permission." Sylvia snarled, still staring at the bartender. She squeezed, forcing Leah's thumb farther toward the inside of her wrist. "If you change form, I'll tear your goddamn hand off."

Leah groaned, the agony rolling up her arm, as the other woman continued.

"You do this to one of those sparkling leeches, you've break his thumb off. That means he can't actually grip you." She drained the last of the beer and set it on the table. "You, though, right now you're my bitch."

The skull swivelled toward Leah, who shivered at the empty depths within the eyes. "I could make you lick me like a prison bitch. Beg me, promise me anything, and all you could do is suffer the shame and do it, or I'd break your thumb and then your wrist."

Leah moaned again, sweat covering her.

"If you change, I'll break you." The skull promised. "Control, little girl. Above all, self control." Leah blinked as a sliver of bright steel suddenly appeared in the other woman's hand and the point touched behind her earlobe. "You're thinking, right now, that you can instantly change and get away, aren't you?"

Leah gulped and nodded.

"Your head will shift shape, your jaw and ear instantly pushing backwards nearly a foot, which will shove this knife deep into your brain." The skull told her. It smiled its steel toothed smile at Leah's confusion. "I saw you come in. I saw you shift to human, then shift back to wolf. I watched it closely."

"McPheerson..." The voice was calm.

"Fine, fine." Sylvia released Leah and turned to the bartender as he set down two full mugs.

"Something I should know?" The man asked.

"Girl needs training." Sylvia replied. Leah chewed on her lower lip and massaged her thumb and wrist, glaring at Sylvia.

"OK, first have a couple of sips off of that, then we'll get to what's wrong." Sylvia said, picking up the smoking cigarette butt she'd dropped and crushing it out in the ashtray.

"Why should I stay?" Leah asked.

"Because according to your letters you have no pack, no imprint, and some empty vessel stole everything in life from you." Sylvia answered, grabbing one of the packs of cigarettes off of the table and slapping the top against the open palm of her other hand. "Besides, what other cast iron bitch is going to teach you to stand up for yourself?"

Leah stared at the woman for a long moment, her sensitive nose telling her that the woman was telling the truth.

...or a sociopath.

"Why should I trust you?" Leah asked. "People haven't exactly given me good reason to trust them in the past few years." The bitterness in her tone surprised her.

"Because you aren't kneeling under the table servicing me, for starters." The other woman said. "Need another reason?"

"You wouldn't have..." Leah whispered.

"Bet your ass I would have, if I thought you weren't worth teaching anything to." The skull answered. "You wanna go through life on your knees to others, or you want to sit at the big girl's table with your knees open and someone servicing you?"

The thought of Bella, cold, white, and beautiful, on her knees before her made Leah's stomach shiver. Not sexually, but with something she'd never felt before. Something good. Something warm.

Something she suddenly wanted.

"There it is." The skull laughed, and Leah blushed, realizing with chagrin (see what I did there?) that her thoughts and feelings had shown on her face. "Put Ms. Sparkles out of your mind."

The woman's hand dropped to one of the side pockets on her pants, and she pulled out a battered and scratched video camera, flipping open the screen with her thumb before setting the camera on the table.

"I'm going to show this to you, so you understand just how much your little hometown and the people in it mean in the big scheme of things." Sylvia said gently. The skull was gone, and in its place was sorrow. "Are you ready to start growing up?"

Leah nodded, and watched the screen as the woman hit play and the camera begin to whine tiredly.

The screen lit, showing burnt and overgrown buildings. The voices were almost inaudible, but Leah's keen hearing could hear men barking orders, someone yelling for something called cover fire, and right before the explosions started someone bellowed out for 'cannon fire, six by one twenty' in a voice that made her jerk. The view swung, and stumbling people appeared, their bodies covered in dried blood, horrible wounds covering them, white eyes staring and bloody mouths gaping hungrily.

The scene changed, and she saw the door to the police station kicked in. Weapons roared, and she saw people she knew fall to the ground, their heads torn by the gunfire. That wasn't what had killed them, Leah realized, the wounds they had already suffered had killed them.

Again the scene changed, and Leah made a soft noise of horror and sorrow as she saw herself stumbling toward the camera, her throat torn out, her lips missing, one eye gone, breasts exposed and mutilated.

"I'm sorry, Leah." The voice of the skull.

A shot rang out, and Leah watched the obscene parody of herself fall to the ground. Leah realized that the blurriness wasn't the picture, it was the tears.

"That's enough." Sylvia whispered, reaching forward to turn off the camera. "Drink."

Numbly, Leah reached out and grabbed at the cold drink, almost spilling it. The beer was cold, and bitter, and the bubbles made her want to sneeze, but she gulped at it anyway.

Sylvia watched the girl swallow the beer, the tears running down a face already carved by loss and sorrow, and waited until Leah shakily set the glass back on the table.

"Nobody made it. We did a standard sweep and clear, and we figure that some of the people on the Reservation held out for nearly a month before they got overrun." Sylvia said gently, signalling for more beer.

"Why did you show that to me." Leah asked, hugging herself.

"To show you that your attachment to that place is unreasonable." Sylvia answered. The bartender came up and Sylvia looked up at him. "Get the kid a shot of 151, she'll need it." Sylvia frowned at the feeling of body heat radiating off of Leah. "Better made it a quad."

The bartender nodded and left.

"What does that mean?" Leah asked.

"It means, you're staying where you aren't wanted. You are hanging around being the bitch to some sparkling crybaby prima donna, while she plays queen bee with the people who should be bonded to your soul." The skull snarled. "They've convinced you that because you aren't wanted there, you have no value."

The skull vanished as the rum appeared. "They're wrong." Sylvia said gently, stubbing out her cigarette.

"But what do I do?" Leah asked.

"Leave, to start with."

"And go where?" The bitterness surprised her again. The sudden desire to deny the woman, to stay with what should have been her pack, rose up with snarling teeth, but Leah pushed it away, remembering her pack's savage rejection of her.

"From here? Anywhere. There's worlds upon worlds outside that door. Or, you can return to your own, shift into a wolf, and run until you get tired." Sylvia picked up her beer and drank, then continued. "You don't need to hone your fighting skills back home, not like I had to. Your natural gifts will pick up any slack.

"Still," Sylvia said, running her finger across the rim of the glass, "You could find another pack. Or maybe take hand to hand combat classes. They won't translate too well over, but it'll teach you the weak points, teach you the leverage points, and most of all, hone the killer instinct that you've spent the time we've been writing to each other repressing."

"I don't want to be a killer." Leah answered, staring at the dark brown liquid in the tumbler in front of her.

"Nobody asked us what we wanted, bitch." The skull snarled. "I wanted kids, a husband, a fucking normal life." Leah started to shrink back and the woman grabbed her by the shirt, holding her in place. "The universe doesn't give a single rotted shit about what you want. You play the hand that's dealt you, and you smash your own place into the world."

The hand held her steady. How does she move so fast?

"Don't flinch from me, bitch. If I want fear, I'll kick a puppy. you still a puppy, or have you bled like a bitch?" Leah stared into the merciless brown eyes. The woman shook her. "Well? Have you bled like a bitch, or not?"

"I..."

"Have you bled, or are you still a puppy?" the skull snarled.

"I've bled." Leah answered, suddenly understanding.

"Then stop acting like a puppy. You've bled, you're a bitch now. You been bred, or not?" Leah blushed again. "No, you haven't."

"Why should I? It isn't like I can have children." Leah was suddenly angry, angry at her pen-pal for mocking her, for stripping away the layers she protected herself with. With a hard shove she pushed the other woman back, growling low in her throat.

"There you go. You used it, instead of exploding in a shower of fur and stupidity." Sylvia answered. Leah stared at her as she lit another cigarette, then grinned. "Why does not being able to breed children matter?"

"I'm worthless. I can't breed." Leah started to drop her head and found iron hard fingers holding her chin, biting into her jaw painfully.

"Look at me when I speak to you." The fingers tightened, then released. "That's their stupidity talking." The skull snarled. "Who the fuck made you measure your worth by your ability to squeeze a squalling brat out of your crotch?"

"It's the way of the pack." Leah replied, watching Sylvia pick her cigarette up off the floor. She noticed that the other woman kept her eyes on her the whole time, never breaking eye contact with Leah.

"Fuck their pack." Sylvia said softly. "They threw you out. They reviled you, they mocked you, they rejected you." The skull reappeared for a second. "Why are you following their laws?"

"Because..." Leah started, then stopped.

"There you go, girly." Sylvia answered, nodding behind the curtain of cigarette smoke.

"What if they come after me?" Leah asked.

"Then kill them." Sylvia answered calmly, reaching out and picking up the fresh glass of beer.

"They're stronger than me." Leah protested.

"You're stronger than me." Sylvia answered.

"They're faster than me." Leah retorted.

"You're faster than me." Sylvia answered.

"They're tougher than me." Leah told the other woman.

"You're tougher than me." Sylvia took another long drag off of her cigarette and blew out the smoke.

"Are you just going to tell me things I already know?" Leah snarled, frustration at the other woman pushing forward.

"Nope." Sylvia answered, motioning with the cigarette. Leah's eyes followed it, and the other hand blurred out, a nail raking across Leah's throat from under one ear to the other, then the other woman's thumbnail dug painfully at the bottom of her left breast.

"I just told you that you'd be already dead." Sylvia answered, finishing the motion by grabbing the beer.

"So what? What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Leah half shouted.

"Why was I able to do that?" Sylvia asked.

"Because..." Leah stopped, replaying the whole thing in her mind. The other woman had taken a drag, breathed out the smoke, then moved. The hand that had moved had moved before to grab the beer until Leah had gotten used to it. "You knew that I wouldn't pay attention."

"Because I knew you only saw what you expected to see." Sylvia answered. She sighed and stared at Leah for a long moment before continuing. "I'm not saying to go on a vampire killing rampage, I'm saying learn everything about them. They're arrogant, they'll tell you all about how you can't kill them unless you do what they will then tell you about."

The laughter was cold, mocking, and devoid of any humanity. Leah shivered as the goosebumps rose on her skin.

"Why do you care about them, anyway?" Sylvia asked, putting her cigarette in the ashtray, placing both hands against the back of her chair, and cracking her back by pushing hard against the chair.

Leah thought about her friends, spellbound by the girl who had gotten everything she ever wanted while Leah herself had gotten nothing. Who had convinced them to throw her out of the pack. Who had shoved a monstrous thing on them and made it so that the packmates could either love it too, or leave.

She opened her mouth to tell Sylvia why, when she remembered the video she had watched. How her home was nothing but wreckage, how everyone had been dead.

Why do I care what they do? They rejected me not the other way around!

"There it is." Sylvia said softly. Leah looked at the other woman, anger starting to fill her at the casual way Sylvia had dismissed the anger, the rage, the humiliation.

"Don't be stupid." The other woman said, reaching out and picking up the glass. Leah glared into Sylvia's empty eyes as the older woman stared at her over the rim of the frosted glass.

"What makes you so high and mighty?" Leah asked.

"Ten years since New Year's Day." Sylvia answered, shrugging. "I've smashed and carved my place out in the world. I have everything I could want after life dealt me the cards." The skull reappeared as the glass clicked on the table.

"What do you have, pup?"

"Nothing." Leah answered, starting to look down.

"WRONG!" The word was punctuated by Sylvia's hand cracking down on the table top like a gunshot. Conversations stopped as heads snapped around, then resumed as Sylvia stared at Leah.

"Your world is alive, living. Reality isn't breaking down where you are from. You have yourself, and everything inside of yourself." Sylvia laughed again, a bitter self mocking sound. "You have your youth, you have so much more than you think you do."

"You have your soul." The last was said softly, regretfully. Sylvia's eyes briefly filled with remembered agony, terrible loss, and horror before they emptied again and the skull returned.

"You still have your humanity." The words were bitter and full of hate.

"I'm not human." Leah shot back.

"You're closer than I am." Sylvia retorted, grabbing the glass and the cigarette in one angry motion. "So you've killed a few vampires. Whoopty fucking doo. I'll put you in for the Medal of fucking honor."

The skull was back, staring at Leah through the cigarette smoke. "You've done nothing to hate yourself for. You're hands are clean of blood, of horror. You're walling in self-hatred that is a reflection of how others treated you. My inhumanity was earned, little girl."

"You smell human to me." Leah answered, sniffing pointedly.

"That's because you're an idiot." Sylvia answered.

"Really? Smell human to me." Leah answered, smiling, daring the older woman to refute her.

"There you go." Sylvia suddenly smiled. "I was wondering if I'd have to punch you in the axe wound to make you react." She took a drag off the cigarette and blew the smoke at the ceiling.

"You wanna learn to be a big girl?" Sylvia asked, the skull and empty eyes returning.

"Yes." Leah breathed.

"What will you give me?" The skull asked, the eyes boring into Leah's.

"Whatever you want." Leah answered. "Will you teach me to be like you?"

"No. I'll teach you to be Leah." Sylvia answered. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes." Leah answered.

"Are you sure you'll give me whatever I want?" Sylvia asked.

"Yes."

"Your clothes." Sylvia answered.

"What?" Leah asked, confused by the apparent change of subject.

"Take them off." Sylvia answered. "Underwear too."

"No." Leah answered, blushing at the thought of all the people in the bar seeing her naked.

"Then you don't want it bad enough." Sylvia answered, draining her glass and stubbing out the cigarette.

"Wait!" Leah cried out at Sylvia stood up, grabbing the packs of cigarettes off the table and jamming them into a pocket.

"What?" Sylvia asked, not bothering to turn around.

"I'll do it." Leah answered.

"Obedience is the first step to discipline." Sylvia murmured, turning to watch Leah. "Well?"

Leah stripped, handing Sylvia her clothing until she stood naked in front of the other woman.

"Follow behind me. Don't talk." Sylvia ordered, then turned and walked to the doorman, tossing a gold coin to the bartender as she went past. Leah stood silently as two pistols, a large heavy gun that stank of blood and gunfire, body armor, and a backpack were handed to Sylvia.

Sylvia pulled all the equipment on, shrugging and then pulling at the bottom of the body armor to set it correctly.

"Follow me." Sylvia ordered. "Stay close, don't react to anything you see unless I tell you to, and keep your mouth shut."

Leah followed Sylvia into the forest around the bar, ignoring the twisted trees that drew closer and closer, the rusting in the bushes, the strange smells that were sometimes alluring and other times repulsive, and keeping her burning curiosity to herself.

The forest gave way to the shells of buildings, and tantalizing noise reached Leah's sensitive hearing. It wasn't exactly sound, but more the promise of sound to come. The sensation built until suddenly it erupted into the thunderous sounds of dozens of heavy engines rumbling.

Leah half stumbled through the doorway of the burnt out house that Sylvia led them through, feeling the cold in the air, and gagging at the stench of decaying flesh, blood, and cordite.

"Sylvia!" The woman's voice was loud and angry.

Leah recognized the shift in Sylvia's body language instinctively. The body language of a pack member being addressed by the pack leader.

Leah looked over to see a pregnant woman waddling toward the two of them, her eyes flashing with anger.

"Where have you been for four hours?" The woman demanded angrily. "Why wasn't your tac-com on? Why was the only person who knew where you went was Robert, who tried to tell me you slipped through a crack he showed you?"

"I found a survivor." Sylvia answered, her voice soft. "She's been on her own, and she's... different."

"Give me a hug first." The pregnant woman ordered. Leah understood it right away as the two women embraced. The pack leader was reestablishing dominance over Sylvia. She choked as she saw that the chains the pack leader bound Sylvia with were bonds forged from love.

"Cindy, we need a uniform here!" The pregnant woman shouted as she stared at Leah, her eyes taking in every single detail.

"Leah, go ahead and show her." Sylvia ordered, staring at the pregnant woman.

Leah shifted form, dropping on all fours, a horse sized wolf appearing where a young Native American girl had stood a split second before.

"Oh my, you are lost." The pack leader said, seemingly oblivious to the clacking of firearms and all of the weapons being pointed in the direction of the three women. "Can you change back immediately?"

Leah answered by pushing herself up onto her hind legs and shifting back in the same instant, wobbling a bit.

"She's a bit clumsy." Sylvia apologized.

"We're worry about that later." The pack leader said thoughtfully. "Get her dressed, get her fed, and show her her place." She stared at Sylvia a long moment. "Den Mother?"

"Den Mother." Sylvia answered.

"Gonna let her and Lita establish?" The pack leader asked.

"No, don't want the girl killed." Sylvia replied. Leah wasn't sure what they were talking about.

"Lita's still stabby?"

"Yes." Sylvia answered, then turned to Leah. "Let's get you dressed, fed, I'll take you back to my den and you can meet your sister."

Everything suddenly clicked for Leah. "Yes, Den Mother." She bowed her head.

* * * * *

Leah sat in the passenger seat of the military vehicle she called it a humvee, the weight of the body armor crushing her breasts, the uniform stiff against her skin, and the pistol at her waist an alien thing.

Behind her, in the back seat, a young girl with a vulpine face was sleeping in a pile of blankets, a thick leather collar around her neck with a leash leading to a protrusion on the inside of the cab.

The wind was in her face, and she wrinkled her nose at the smell.

"It stinks here." She said.

"You'll get used to that. Just tell me if the smell gets overwhelming." Sylvia said, swerving to smash the heavy grill guard into a man lurching down the highway. The man bounced away, twisting at the waist, and Leah heard his spine and ribs break and winced in sympathy.

"You'll get used to that too." The skull added.

Leah nodded as the humvee, referred to as Alpha Sierra One, rumbled down the cracked tarmac of the highway, away from the graveyard that was Forks.

Behind her, in dozens of armored military vehicles and modified civilian vehicles, her new pack followed, secure that Leah, her sister, and her Den Mother would spot any threats to the pack.

Leah felt content.

[annabellamy]

Richard had missed America. England had been a nice change, but all the cheery Londoners he knew could never replace the beauty of America. As he drove into the sleepy town of Forks, he knew that something was up. Pulling up outside the police station in the Organisation's standard-issue Star Fighter car, the hair on the back of Richard's neck stood on end. Police Chief Swan stood outside, waiting for someone. When he saw the unsual black car pull up, it was evident that the man he needed was behind the wheel. Seeing Richard for the first time, Swan was disappointed. He had expected someone a little more... experienced. This man was in his late thirties, but looked as though he were a new recruit. He tried his best to hide his disappointment when shaking the man's hand, but Richard saw it nonetheless.
"I'm deadlier than I look," he said, letting go of Swan's hand. "What appears to be the trouble, officer?"
"Come inside," Swan said, eyeing Richard with suspicion. They went inside and Swan led Richard to the interrogation room. Richard waved a hand and the cameras were immediate;ly disabled. Swan didn't notice. They sat down and Swan explained the situation:
"We believe that there are poachers in the Olympic Peninsula. The populations of certain species have plummeted dramatically over the past four to five years."
"That's it?" Richard asked. He felt like he had been led on with the promise of a chocolate treat, but instead had been given a lemon sherbert. "I was called here to explain why animals are going bye-bye? That's a job for Animal Services, not the Organisation."
"Your boss said you were the best for this case," Swan told him, and Richard immediately knew that this was a lie. The Agents were randomly assigned positions, and Loki only ever handled a call personally if the Guild posed a threat.
"Don't bullshit," Richard said, a grimace forming on his lips. "I was given this case because I had nothing ele to do. Now, I don't appreciate my time being wasted so here's what we're going to do- you're going to tell me what you think is going on. Not 'you' as in the police, but 'you' as in you. Has there been anything suspicious going on in the past four to five years might explain the drop? That includes anything personal- you'd be surprised how many cases were started just because he couldn't find his keys or because she got her driver's licence."
"Well," Swan started, staring at Richard. He was bewildered by Richard's words. Cases could be personal? Wow. He shuddered to think that Bella, his pride and joy, might have anything to do with this. She was getting married to that... boy.
"I'm waiting, Swan."
"I didn't even tell you my name," Swan said, narrowing his eyes.
"And I didn't tell you mine," Richard said coyly. "You were given a file on me so you already knew who I was. I was just told where to go and that somebody would be waiting outside for me. Now tell! Start with the personal- we might be able to draw a connection."
"There's nothing unusual going on," Swan said. "I'm divorced, my wife's with her new boyfriend in Florida, my daughter's getting married-"
"How old is she?"
"What?"
"Your daughter- how old is she?"
Catiously, Swan said "18."
"A little young to tie the knot, eh?" Richard cocked an eyebrow.
"You married when you were 20, and when she was 19."
"Touche, mon ami!" Richard said with a laugh. "At least we know you do your research. Now, anything else?"
"Well, four or five, maybe six, years ago a new family moved in. Rich family, very private but very flashy."
"I know the type. Go on."
"Well, I've noticed that the drop in population seems to coincide with their moving in." Swan said, and suddenly he had a realisation.
"What is it?" Richard asked, picking up on the uneasy surprise that manifested on Swan's face.
"I think I know who the poachers are."
"Then this should be wrapped up quickly enough," said Richard. "Tell me who they are and where I can find them."
"I... I can't!"
"Why not?"
"Because they're my future in-laws." Swan confessed quietly.
"I won't arrest them," Richard promised. "The most that I can do in this situation is warn them and close off the animals which they're hunting."
"That won't do."
"When I say 'close off', I'm not talking about an electric fence."
"What are you talking about, then?"
"That's for me to know. You'll find out when the populations begin to rise, then plateau at the optimum. Just tell me where to find them, and we'll have this whole thing sorted out."

It was night time, and Richard stood outside the greenhouse. Well, it couldn't have been a house. It seemed to have been built entirely out of windows. Even the door was a window. When Richard knocked, he was worried that he would break the door. In a flash, a tall man with slicked-back blond hair answered the door.
"May I help you?" he asked. He spoke with a British accent.
"Richard Ansterdam," said Richard, extending a hand. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I have some rather urgent business I need to discuss with you and yours."
The man stared at Richard's hand. After a while, it became apparent that a handshake would not happen, so Richard removed his hand.
"Come in," the man said. "But you may only talk with me."
He stood back and let Richard in, then led him up a series of stairs until they reached an office. They entered, sat and began to talk.
"Before we start," Richard said, "I want us both to be completely honest with each other."
"Done."
"Good. What's your name?"
"Doctor Carlisle Cullen."
"Academic or medical?"
"Medical."
"How old are you?"
"Too old to remember."
"So you're a vampire?"
Carlisle's eyes widened in shock, and Richard instantly knew what was happening: Carlisle and his family had been hunting the animals in the Olympic Peninsula as a source of blood. Clever. Especially since this guy was a doctor, when he could have just 'misplaced' a few blood packs every here and there, or come clean and started some sort of blood drive like in those Morganville books Matt was so intrigued by.
"How do you know?" Carlisle asked.
"I've come across my share of vamps and wolfies," Richard said. "I'm not going to arrest you, but I do need you to know that the populations of certain animals- namely the grizzly bear and the mountain lion- are plummeting. I think you've had a good idea with this animal blood thing, but it's a short-term solution. Doctor Cullen, if you would like, I could arrange for you and your family- including your future daughter-in-law- to be reloacted and supplied with synthetic blood. The organisation I work for happens to deal with a lot of 'supernatural#' forces, and we can supply you until you wish us to stop."
Carlisle considered this.
"How do you know about Bella?" he asked.
"Is that her name?" Richard asked. "Anyway, I met her father earlier today. I was given this case randomly, and he's the chief here. We kind of solved it already, but I came here to resolve it."
"This synthetic blood," Carlisle began. "Does it work?"
"It depends on the vampire and his or her personality," Richard explained carefully. "The more you drink, the more real it seems. It works on a psychological basis- some vampires describe their favourite blood as apple-flavoured, so they gradually begin to think that the substitute tastes like apples. It provides a plasma protein and water, the only downside is you have to use the bathroom."
Again, Carlisle considered Richard's words.
"Deal," he said. "My family are moving soon, anyway. When my son turns his fiancee, we will relocate. Tell Swan that the Olympic Peninsula will once again thrive with life."
"I will," Richard said. "And I will send somebody over within the week to arrange the synthetic blood. Don't look like that- we're here to help."

Richard and Swan closed the file, but Swan was still worried.
"What happens if the substitute doesn't work?" he asked.
"Oh, it always works," Richard assured him. "In the event it doesn't we have a protocol- capture the vamp and lock him up."
"Why didn't you just do that?"
"Because we're here to help, Swan," Richard said, "not hinder. If we can make sure that everyone can live side-by-side without harm, then it will make the end so much easier."

[EarthDragon88]

Hmm... I think that Acantha, being a dhampir, could prove some delightful entertainment.

It should be noted that rather than burn, the vampires in her world develop symptoms comparable to lupus, however, it only affects them if they use direct skin contact by sunlight, so if they wore say, biker leathers with a tinted helmet, they'd be fine with it.

___

Edward Cullen had picked a bad night to sneak into Bella's room, as he slipped out before she could wake, he saw a black motorbike parked right behind Charlie's police cruiser, the rider was leaning on it, a woman looking no older than 19 with long black hair and an anaemic complexion. Glancing over she stood up, "I had come to erase Chief Swan's memory of my existence, but it seems my missing target had a visit here too." she commented nonchalantly, looking sharply at him, an expression he knew, but never expected to see shot at him.

The look of a hunter towards its prey.

"Who are you?" Edward demanded.
"I suppose it's only fair for you to know the name of your killer, your family certainly didn't." she said, "Acantha Dante."
"You mean to say one anaemic girl..."
Acantha laughed, a mirthless laugh, "For someone who lived so long, you sure are ignorant, but then, I suppose you should count your blessings for that, because they're about to end." As she spoke, he couldn't help but noticed her shadow ripple, like she had dropped something into it, but then a black sword rose from it, which she grabbed and pointed at him. "You and yours are an abomination that has had its time."
Edward's eyes widened like a deer's and headlights, "Now, let's not fight, we can agree on something."
"Even if you weren't the result of an experiment from her, I take issue with people who climb into someone's room while they sleep."
She took off, faster than was human, and made to stab clean through his heart, Edward made to block it, and although he deflected the blade from his heart, it cut through his skin like a hot knife through butter.
Edward bit his lip, hard, trying not to shout in pain at the shock of the sudden loss of limb.

Another slash, while he was composing himself, the woman had slashed his leg, "What manner of...?"
"You'll have plenty of time to find out when you're dead." she countered coldly, when the smell of sulphur hit his nose. Acantha had lit a match, "I can see from here you are going to be a class A creep down the line, I guess an abomination remains an abomination." she commented, flicking it towards his dismembered limbs.
Edward tried to limp away, but the venom on the lawn caught fire easily, spreading to him and consuming him in the flames. "Be...la..." he uttered before he fell with a thump.

Acantha sighed as the acrid smell hit her nostrils, "Great, now I have to clean up this lawn and wipe my existence from the police force's memory before dawn..." she muttered. Cleanup could be such a pain, but that was what she got for doing things alone.

[gisbon]

I don't really have a story written with a main character, but I do have a Changeling character, and a kinda/sorta made guy for a short story I wanna write.
The Changeling guy is a Steepscrambler (Monkey kith, Awh yea.) Gunslinger, who's not really psychopathic, but he's not afraid to slaughter people who annoy him.
His nickname is Zachy Killshot (Named so for a slingshot he picked up appropriately named the Murdershot, and for a RL nickname I have.)
Anyways, Here's how it would go.

I'm climbing. I absolutely love jumping between trees so quickly that the leaves don't shake till I'm three trees past them. It's definetly a good night. No fey, No fetchs to find, just me being me. As I jump over a particularly thick oak I notice a man eating what looks to be a heavily mangled corpse. Oh well, nothing new in my world, just lucky he hasn't seen me and tried to attack me yet. I look at him, trying to figure out what kith he's from. Since he's eating an animal like that, he must be a corpsegrinder. But then again, he doesn't look very ogre-y. As I sit silently in my tree, I automatically pull out my slingshot, and load a piece of gravel that I had picked up earlier. Regardless of his kith, he seemed like a threat, considering the dead body and all. He also looked rich enough to own a Mercedes. I always wanted a Mercedes. Monkey mane flowing in the wind, top down, speeding like Belmont is trying to hit me again. As I'm lost in this daydream,the man looks up and calls out to me:
"Hey, what are you doing up there?"
"Being a goddamned monkey, thats what! Do you own a mercedes?"
"A Couple?"
"Ooooh, can I have one? If I just mug you, that way you won't die and I get a mercedes without having to go through the hassle of disposing a body."
"I'm a vampire, I doubt you could kill me. IF you could, I would use my vampi-"
"Wait your a vamp?"
"Yes, I pointed tha-"
"Do you know Malcolm Xavier? He's a tall black vampire?"
"What the hell? Did his parents have a good sense of humor?"
"Apparently, what do I know? I just shoot things. Anyways, are you going to give me the Mercedes or not?"
"Not."
At this moment, I realized that there might be more to him than meets the eyes. His body never seemed to move at all, like it was made of some kind of stone. Or he was really toned. Either way, he wasn't going to give me that mercedes by choice, so it looks like he chose force. As quickly as a monkey with a slingshot can manage, I pull back the piece of gravel and aim for his head.
He never saw it coming. I guess a few years of not aging makes person think he's invincible. He tried to grab the rock out of the air, but the only thing that managed was to make the rock act angrier, if rocks had feelings.
The rock absolutely destroyed his hand, and embedded itself 4 inches into his skull. As I walk up to him, I notice that he's still somewhat moving. I look into his eyes, and ask him a simple question:
"Where are the Mercedes keys?"
He gargles something that sounds like "I drove a Volva."
"A what?"
"Volvuh!"
"Vulva?" (Authors note: My guy is not for the easily offended.)
He seems to have completely lacked consciousness, so I check his pockets. Just a little lint in the left one, so I sit on his stomach and search his right pocket. I feel the tell-tale plastic on car keys, so I pull it out and look at the symbol. Volvo. Volvo. Volvo. I instantly run through my mind, trying to remember what a Volvo looks like. Finally, it hits me. He drives a fucking minivan. The day was going so well, then this bastard had to come and ruin it. Time to take things out the only way I know how, Fire. After setting his body and the surrounding click of forest on fire, I try to go find his car. When I finally do find it, I find a woman sitting on the inside patiently, like he just stepped outside to piss, Which is weird, considering it took me an hour to find him. When I walk up to the car, she eagerly rolls down the window and starts asking if I had met her "Eddie-pooh." I instantly thought, Oh Shit, I was going to have to kill another person to get out of this. I really don't like killing humans, though changelings are a different matter. I asked her what he looked like. As she started explaining what he looked like using way to many terms, I determined that this child was stupid. Stupidly Stupid. The kind of Stupid that wants to prove Natural Selection true. I had no qualms about killing her. I instantly looked for the gas tank, since it seemed like she had stopped talking and had slipped into a wet dream. I quickly found it, and luckily this person was also too stupid to buy a cheap key cap for it. I pull out my flintlock pistol as she snapped back to reality and asked what I was doing. She really didn't seem to care what I was doing insofar as she was worried about cleaning up after herself, so I put my pistol in the tank and ran away. Without looking back, I snapped my fingers to make the gun malfunction and fire. I felt the heat against my tail, but didn't care. Cool guys don't look at explosions, at least that's what Rosalind told me. As the twisted steel finally feel back to the earth that had forsaken it, I only had one thought cross my mind. Fuck Minivans.

[Madame Celeste]

If Lazarus and Dina from my Men in Black vampire fanfic (still in progress) were ever to meet Edward and Bella...

SPOILER: Click to show

Lazarus: An unregistered Desmodian (standard MIB term for 'vampire') and the main villain of the fic.

Dina: Lazarus' girlfriend and fledgling, also unregistered.

SPOILER: Click to show

*It is nighttime at an empty lakeside park. Dina walks with an unsuspecting young man along the bike path, then stops and playfully pins the man against a tree. They kiss briefly before he pulls his face away.*

MAN: Mm... Not here. My girlfriend will be back any minute now.

DINA: There's still time. Just sit back and enjoy this.

*She kisses him and they start making out again. Dina opens her eyes and sees Lazarus stepping out from behind the tree, and she pulls down at the man's collar to bare his neck. Lazarus smiles and bites into the bared side of the man's neck, while Dina leans forward and bites the other side. The unfortunate victim is drained in minutes and then allowed to drop to the ground, as the two vampires clean themselves off.*

DINA: Told you I still got it. You owe me your half of the next one.

LAZARUS: I know, I know. But that show was just so worth it...

*He leans closer to her and kisses her, then pulls back.*

LAZARUS: Come on. I found this high school chick hanging out with some Justin Timberlake groupie. I doubt they went far; those two losers can't stop staring at each other!

*His and Dina's laughter echoes in the night as they vanish, running at unnatural speed to the shore of the lake. Bella is sitting on a bench there, admiring with excessive glee as Edward messily feeds on a mountain lion in front of her. Lazarus and Dina see this from a distance and grimace.*

LAZARUS: Wait, is he drinking animal blood?

DINA: Ew! Pass.

LAZARUS: That's bullshit! The guy has a perfectly good bimbo staring him in the face, and he goes and eats garbage. How's he even keeping that shit down?

DINA: *scoffs* His loss. So, what about the girl?

LAZARUS: Let's see... *studies Bella* Not a lot of flavor for a teenager. Good as a midnight snack maybe, but otherwise? Eh, don't waste your appetite.

*Dina nods in agreement, and they turn to leave. Edward sees them and runs to tackle Lazarus, but the two vampires hear him coming. Lazarus jumps out of the way, and Edward barely avoids crashing into a tree. He turns back to face the vampires, his "chagrinned" expression making him look constipated.*

EDWARD: STAY AWAY FROM HER, YOU MONSTERS!!!!!

DINA: *smirks* What, you mean Little Miss White Trash over there? Pshh, you can have her, freak! C’mon Laz, let’s go find some real food.

EDWARD: *gasps loudly* HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!?!?!?!!!? HER BLOOD... THE MERE SCENT OF IT… IT SINGS TO ME!!!111!!1!!!1

*Lazarus and Dina burst out laughing.*

LAZARUS: Sings? Her blood sings? Hang on, this I gotta see!

*He charges toward Bella with bared fangs. Edward tries to run after him, but Dina trips him and he crashes into a water fountain. Bella sees Lazarus approaching, lets out a high-pitched scream, and starts to cry.*

BELLA: Aah! Vampire! Edward, save me!

*Edward gets up off the ground and makes another run for Lazarus, but Dina holds him back with little effort. Meanwhile, without even trying to run away, Bella collapses in a fetal position and continues crying. Lazarus picks up her hand, bites into her wrist, and then casually holds the wound to his ear. He listens intently for a few seconds, then pouts mockingly.*

LAZARUS: You liar. I don’t hear any singing.

DINA: Oh good. Seriously, If I heard my lunch singing to me I’d make sure to puke out every drop.

*Edward snarls with anger chagrin and elbows Dina in the stomach, then backhands her across her face as she falls from the force. Lazarus sees this and becomes dead serious, and as Bella continues crying her eyes out on the ground, he stomps his boot onto her head without a second thought, instantly crushing her skull. Seeing this, Edward stops his charge abruptly and drops to his knees, apparently on the brink of tears.*

EDWARD: Y-y-you... k-killed her...

LAZARUS: So? We're vampires, it's what we do. Not our fault you didn't have the balls to do it yourself.

*He approaches Edward and picks him up by the throat, seething as he points to Dina, who is getting up off the ground and glaring at Edward as well.*

LAZARUS: But more importantly, nobody disrespects my girl without feeling some pain...

*He prepares to strike Edward, but Dina runs between the two and stops them. Lazarus blinks and backs off, only for Dina to turn on Edward and punch him in the face.*

DINA: Son of a bitch!

*Lazarus sits back and laughs, cheering Dina on as she tears Edward apart limb from limb. When she finally finishes, Edward is little more than a heap of broken parts, and Lazarus takes out his hip flask and casually pours the contents on Edward.*

LAZARUS: Told ya.

*He switches on his lighter and holds it to Edward, lighting Edward on fire, and Edward screams in agony as Dina and Lazarus turn to leave. Dina smiles contently as Lazarus takes her arm and they walk away.*

LAZARUS: Let's get out of here. The night's still young, and I still owe you my half of the second course...

[pandora]

I'll use my two most-used characters back from when I used to RP years ago. They are Ivy Dulithicatore (a werelioness) and Jarvis Orion (a basilisk).

Ivy meeting Bella:

Ivy:...So....got any hobbies?
Bella: Not really. I just moved here and I hate it.
Ivy:....kay....Why do you hate it?
Bella: It's gray here.
Ivy: ...And?
Bella: No one likes me.
Ivy:......Like, four guys wanted to go to the dance with you.
Bella: I can't stand my life.
Ivy: *rubs forehead* Alright, let's talk about something else....
Bella: Edward talked to me today. He's handsome.
Ivy: That guy stares at you. I swear to god he doesn't blink.
Bella: It's romantic.
Ivy:...Ah, not really. That's creepy.
Bella: It means something, I know it. I can't get him out of my head.
Ivy:...Usually when a guy stares at you all the time without blinking...or, y'know, TALKING to you it means he's a creeper.
Bella: Jacob told me he's a vampire.
Ivy: Wait...what? Why the hell's he out in the sun then?
Bella: I...ah...hm...
Ivy: Are you seriously this stupid?
Bella: SEE! You don't like me either! No one likes me! My life is terrible! *cries*

Ivy: *sigh* *slaps Bella* Get the fuck out of here bitch before I fucking destroy you.



Jarvis meets Edward


Jarvis: Hello there.
Edward:....How? Did you? You're blindfolded, how did you know I'm here?
Jarvis: Well...I don't mean to offend but...you smell like blood and dead flesh.
Edward: You should stay away from me. That is the smell of the skin of a killer.
Jarvis: Um...you...are aware of what I am right?
Edward: I dunno, some kind of snake-man?
Jarvis: I'm a basilisk.
Edward: A what?
Jarvis: Well, some people say it means "King of Serpents." But I can kill you just by looking at you. Hence the blindfold.
Edward: Oh...
Jarvis: I prefer not doing that. That's why I wear it. It's also why I am able to rely on smell and hearing. I live kind of like I were blind.
Edward: Well....I'm a vampire.
Jarvis:...That explains the blood smell...
Edward: I've been 17 for a while. I've graduated from many high schools.
Jarvis: What does that have to do with anythi-wait....how?
Edward: What do you mean how?
Jarvis: How do you keep graduating from high school over and over again? You have a nation-wide permanent record. You graduate once and you don't need to do it again. If any competent school-board were to look at your record, you wouldn't be placed in another high school.
Edward:.......I'm dangerous.
Jarvis: Okay. But you're not listening. Your permanent record from the first time you attended any high school should show you already completed required amount of credits for a diploma and should not be attending high school anymore.
Edward: I'm a vampire.
Jarvis: Did you hear....anything I just said?
Edward: Witness the skin of a killer *takes off shirt*
Jarvis:....If you just stripped, I can't see it dude.
Edward: Oh...um....your blood smells rich...
Jarvis: Okay, y'know what, you're freaking me out. I have the power to kill with my eyes and YOU are freaking me out.
Edward: Told you I was dangerous.
Jarvis: I...goddamnit...I KNOW I heard you the first three times.
Edward: Get away, I might lose control and try to attack you.
Jarvis: ...As creepy as you are, I can assure you that's not wise.
Edward: *steps toward Jarvis* Your blood sme-
Jarvis: *takes off blindfold*

Edward: GAH! *bursts into flame*

[Chaotic Neutral]

Involving my kickass supernatural fighter Alex were she to be called in to help with the Victoria situation in Eclipse:

Alex: Hey, I got a call to help deal with some evil vampires?

Edward: Thank goodness you came! An evil vampire is forming an army to go after my girlfriend and we need all the help we can get to protect her. We need you to stay with Bella and protect her at all costs.

Alex: I can get your desire to protect your girlfriend, but why is there a mini army out there staying here to defend this girl instead of going out to face the vampire making this army and prevent any unnecessary loss of life?

Edward: You have to meet her and you'll understand why she's so important.

Bella: MOPEMOPEWANGSTMOPEWHINE

Alex: ...That doesn't answer anything.

Edward: Look, Bella is very precious to us all.

Alex: I'm not seeing anything special here to warrant a personal guard for her and her alone instead of a hit team for the enemy.

Edward: Here, why don't you stay here and get to know Bella some more. You'll see she's like a light that brightens us our dark and angsty lives.

Alex: ...Must be a pretty dim light. Okay, so tell me a bit about you and what makes it so much more important to guard you than to stop the enemy?

Bella: Weeeeeeell...

(One long detailed purple prose later)

Alex: ...Let me get this straight...some angry vampire lady is starting to kill and turn people AS WE SPEAK--not for food or villainy or any attempt to take over the world, but rather it's all for the sole purpose of coming here and killing you for revenge over something YOU caused in the first place; tons of OTHER people are putting their lives and welfare on the line all just to protect you despite there being nothing to warrant protection solely for you while letting all these other people be hurt and killed...and all YOU can be bothered to think about is your ‘woe’ of having to choose between two guys—neither of which may even make it out of this alive?

Bella: How can I possibly choose?! ANGSTANGSTWHINEMOPE

Alex: .........

(One hour later.)

Jacob: Where's Bella?!

Edward: Oh no, she's gone! Where could she be? And why didn't that other girl needlessly die to protect her?

Alice: Um...shouldn't the vampire army be here by now?

(Elsewhere)

Alex: (Shows up carrying a large burlap sack) You Victoria?

Victoria: Yeah?

Alex: Here. (Dumps sack on ground, Bella tumbles out)

Bella: OW!

Alex: Now stop with the vampire army already.

Victoria: All right, fine. The only reason I was going to do any of that was to kill this bitch.

Alex: Why?

Victoria: Because she got my boyfriend killed. ...And she's a real pretentious twit.

Alex: I've noticed.

Bella: Alex! How could you betray me?!

Alex: Look, I'm normally against the idea of sacrificing anybody at all "for the greater good", but you're an idiot, you're selfish, you were perfectly willing to let TONS of other people die and not so much as give them a thought, and from what I hear, none of this would have even happened in the first place if it hadn't been for you. I think the very LEAST you owe this lady is an apology.

Bella: For what? She's evil and she eats people!

Victoria: Like Edward never has!

Bella: NEVER! Edward is kind and strong and romantic and perfect and--

Alex: (To Victoria) Tell you what, call off your army and in return, I can send her back to Arizona, get a restraining order against Edward and his family, and place her under 24 hour supervision until she's 21. That sound fair?

Victoria: I'm satisfied with that.

(And so, Alex stopped Victoria from forming a vampire army. Many people were saved from pointlessly being killed, eaten, or turned into vampires. The Cullens weren't allowed to be within five states of Arizona. Bella was kept under house arrest for the next four years. Alex sued the Cullens for attempting to go back on their contract and then caught the imprinted wolves and put them in a kennel.)

[SkeksisGirl]

Let's see...


Bella> ::Whinewhinewhinewhinewhine!::
Maddy> ::Beheads Bella.::
Edward> THAT WAS MY WOMAN! YOU KILLED HER! I'LL KILL YOU!
Maddy> Uh huh... Draco?
Draco> ::Flambe's the Vampire.::

Jacob> I'm a werewolf!
Janna> Really? What Tribe?
Jacob> Quilet!
Janna> That's not a Garou tribe.
Jacob> What's a Garou?
Janna> A werewolf...
Jacob> That's what I am? And we imprint on newborn babies and five year olds?
Janna> Ah... you're Wyrm. ::Slaughters them all.::