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Post by Alastor on Oct 12, 2013 19:59:48 GMT -8
Logs for Murphy's World sessions: {Session 1}Murphys World(JW%): So we have a murder death kill midget, troll muscle who's a wonderful cook and immune to practically everything, a half snake courtesssan(in her delightful accent), and the Elven Lady On A Mission From God.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): Lets do this
The Great Alexander: AKA the Brick Squad
Murphys World(JW%): Okay... theme of the day...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 18
Murphys World(JW%): "The Ignorant are most likely to travel the path to prosperity...
Murphys World(JW%): You all are walking down the road, on pleasant if somewhat cloudy day.
Murphys World(JW%): Soon enough you walk into a patch of...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 90
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 86
Murphys World(JW%): very tolerant vegetables.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): ...wut
The Great Alexander: ...
Murphys World(JW%): Carrots and cauliflower grow pleasantly by the road. Keeping in mind you have a troll in the party, who thinks of them as cute little kittens.
Kendra Derby (Al): ....what the fuck.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Hey guys look!"
The Great Alexander: They accept all races, creeds and beliefs!
The Great Alexander: That's how tolerant they are!
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) sits down and begins petting them
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Oh look, there's so many of them! Perhaps we should take some along just in case."
Kendra Derby (Al): "...Is that food?"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "NO ITS NOT"
Murphys World(JW%): ... I'm... going to just... oh for...
The Great Alexander: "Look like food to me. Even if I do like meat much better."
Murphys World(JW%): You guys can work this out for yourselves.
Kendra Derby (Al): ...I think we broke Per.
The Great Alexander: "Gotta eat a balanced diet to be a true ass kicking machine!"
The Great Alexander: No, the game did
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "But guys! They can talk! They have families and hopes and dreams!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Hmm...I prefer carrots over cauliflower..."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "...Not that I can talk to them. My daddy owned a lettuce ranch, and he'd talk to them"
Kendra Derby (Al): "And they're delicious with ranch dressing. Your point, Troll?"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I used to be so jealous"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I have a name, Lady Derby."
Murphys World(JW%): A cauliflower gently sits by the side of the path photosynthisizing politely.
Kendra Derby (Al): "Lies."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I don't like you calling me Troll!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) goes over and pets the cauliflower
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I won't let those meanies eat you."
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) leans down to study photosynthesizing cauliflower. "It looks very ripe."
Kendra Derby (Al): Can I throw a rock at the photosynthesizing cauliflower?
The Great Alexander: What a dick.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): ((That'd be a waste of food supplies al))
Murphys World(JW%): The carrots very tolerantly ignore your threats.
Kendra Derby (Al): It'd be a very tiny rock.
Murphys World(JW%): They also somewhat ignore the troll, being very tolerant of the petting.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Do you ever wonder what they're thinking?"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "So how many carrots should we take?"
Murphys World(JW%): ((... I had a chance of Poison, Maneating, Strangling... I get TOLERANT?))
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I wish I could of been that boy my daddy wanted, so I could take over the lettuce ranch"
Kendra Derby (Al): "Eh, I'd estimate... several dozen of their young?"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "WE'RE NOT TAKING ANY CARROTS, SNAKELADY"
Kendra Derby (Al): "It is what we did back home, at least."
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "THAT'S MISS LAFAYETTE TO YOU, TREE-HUGGER!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "THATS MISS DANTE TO YOU"
The Great Alexander: "RAAAAAAAAAAWR"\
Murphys World(JW%): The nearby brush rustles in a rather intolerant manner.
The Great Alexander: "WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUNK?"
The Great Alexander: "DON'T YOU RUSTLE AT ME LIKE THAT, MOFO"
Kendra Derby (Al): Kendra leaps back slightly when she notices this. "The heavens was that?"
Murphys World(JW%): From out of the brush runs a...
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) starts getting twitchy and hides behind Alexander
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 7
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 34
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) ...well as well as a troll can hide behind a pixie
Murphys World(JW%): Atrocious Frog!
The Great Alexander: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH"
Murphys World(JW%): It ribbits at you angrily. Apparently this is ITS patch of vegetables.
Kendra Derby (Al): I THROW MY PIXIE AT IT
Kendra Derby (Al): FAST BALL SPECIAL TIME?
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Oh my...how horribly unaesthetic!"
Murphys World(JW%): ... not that frogs eat vegetables but... right throwing the pixie...
The Great Alexander: I DO A SICK DIVING HEADBUTT ON THE FROG
Kendra Derby (Al): WHAT DO I ROLL?
The Great Alexander: DON'T TRY THIS A T HOME, KIDS
Murphys World(JW%): Roll 1d100 for acrobatic pixie move.
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 6
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) smacks Atrocious Frog with her tail. "Ugh, it feels so slimy and disgusting!"
Murphys World(JW%): That's a critical success...
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 14
The Great Alexander: "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "...Is it dead?"
Kendra Derby (Al): "Go for the heart, sweetie!"
Murphys World(JW%): The pixie successfully headbutts the frog dead with an amazing display of airborne skill.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "...We should bury it"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "It'd do the same for us"
Murphys World(JW%): Tourmaline slapping it determines that the horrible beast is indeed dead.
Murphys World(JW%): Because it's a frog. Seriously. It was just a frog...
Kendra Derby (Al): "...Miss Dante, you know that is a horrific lie."
The Great Alexander: An ATROCIOUS one!
The Great Alexander: It was mean and nasty and terrible
The Great Alexander: I go up and taunt the corpse
Kendra Derby (Al): It could've been Frog Stalin for all we knew!
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Hmm....I'm not sure this is even safe for consumption. Let's just burn it."
The Great Alexander: "DON'T BE BRINGIN' NONE OF THAT WEAK SHIT UP IN THIS PLACE, FROG"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "You're right... you need thumbs to bury things. I'm sure it'd want to though"
Murphys World(JW%): Congratulations. You managed to croak a frog.
Kendra Derby (Al): My eyes light up with excitement. "Did someone say burning things?"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "...Okay just don't accidentally burn any of the vegtables while you do it please?"
Kendra Derby (Al): "...Did someone say accidentally burning things?"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "In a reasonably controlled environment of course." I reply blandly, secretly disappointed that Kendra Derby did not fail her pitch.
Kendra Derby (Al): Do I have any fire-based magic?
Murphys World(JW%): ... sure, why not?
The Great Alexander: Can I rage at the frog until it ignites?
Murphys World(JW%): Magic on Murphy's World is like having the whole world as your genie. Make a wish. Something happens.
Murphys World(JW%): Everyone can use magic on Murphy's World. Most are smart enough not to.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): ...I'm scared
Kendra Derby (Al): I rain down a tiny little asteroid of fire on to the frog from the heavens/
Kendra Derby (Al): *.
The Great Alexander: ....
Murphys World(JW%): Phrase your spell in the form of a wish please.
Kendra Derby (Al): Okay...
Kendra Derby (Al): I wish I rain down a tiny little asteroid of fire on to the frog from the heavens.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 16
Kendra Derby (Al): We good?
Murphys World(JW%): Success! A tiny little asteroid streaks from the heavens and blasts the frog corpse into a crater. It's now had both burial AND cremation at the same time.
The Great Alexander: RIP in Peace ;_;7
Murphys World(JW%): A few of the vegetables were a little scorched by the impact, but they tolerate this treatment with plant like stoicism.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "GUYS NO, YOU BURNED THE POOR BABIES!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) starts to sway to and fro while moving my arms about in wavy motions as I chant: "I wisssh the fire doesss not get dire...."
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 50
Kendra Derby (Al): I go to pick the slightly scorched vegetables.
Murphys World(JW%): ... hrm... moderate success on Tourmaline's efforts. The vegetables are not hurt badly.
Murphys World(JW%): She gets a bonus for both making it poetic, and taking the time to wave her arms about in a silly manner.
The Great Alexander: Damn, really?
Murphys World(JW%): Yeah, afraid so.
Kendra Derby (Al): ...I do a little dance, spinning about a few times while wiggling my arms. "I wish we have a vehicle with air conditioning..."
Murphys World(JW%): The higher the roll, the more things go wrong. The more effort you put into something, the less things go wrong. Low roll when making a lot of effort towards something is how to succeed.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die. The die showed: 4
Murphys World(JW%): ... you hear a loud crash in the distance.
The Great Alexander: THat's....really cool.
The Great Alexander: "OI, WOT"
Murphys World(JW%): Sorta like something vehicle like has just fallen from the heavens.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Oooh whats that?"
Kendra Derby (Al): "...I think my wish just came true!" I reply with glee, clapping and smiling.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "It came from up ahead!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) starts slithering down the path.
Murphys World(JW%): Kendra gets a -1 bonus to her next roll since she's on a roll...
The Great Alexander follows Snakelady McFrenchie
Kendra Derby (Al) walks towards the source of the noise, carrying the vegetables I picked.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) also follows
Murphys World(JW%): You hurry down the path and see smashed up boat with a deflated balloon attached to it instead of a sail. A short little fellow has fallen out and is out cold on the ground.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "We should help him!"
The Great Alexander: "What is that even supposed to BE?"
Kendra Derby (Al): "...We should loot him..."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) picks the little fellow up
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Its okay I'll keep you safe from the scary elf lady"
Murphys World(JW%): He looks like a dwarf, a long beard covering his chest and blood leaking form his forehead. The boat was clearly one of those impressive dwarven skyships from the great city in the sky.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "His head is bleeding!"
Kendra Derby (Al): "...should we help him?"
Murphys World(JW%): He doesn't seem to have anything worth looting on him, besides dwarf sized overalls. The craft may have something better to steal.
Murphys World(JW%): ... I need to AFK. Be back very quickly.
Kendra Derby (Al): I quietly tiptoe away into the airship.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) twirls around, "I wish this guy will live"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) twirls around, "I wish this guy will live"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) follows Kendra towards the airship.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): \
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): Oops sorry
Murphys World(JW%): ((Back again.))
Murphys World(JW%): The ship has a nice cool breeze blowing from it's open window.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 13
Murphys World(JW%): The dwarf is breathing peacefully in the trolls arms, just a little senseless from the impact.
The Great Alexander: Yay!
The Great Alexander stays by, keeping guard
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "He's okay! Hurry up and take what you need before he wakes up!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) gently lays him down on the grass
Kendra Derby (Al): I poke my head out of the window and shout "WE'RE TAKING HIS SHIP."
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Looks a bit battered but it will do..."
Kendra Derby (Al): "IDIOT LEFT THE KEYS IN IGNITION."
Murphys World(JW%): The boat seems to have been carrying a cargo of some kind of bags in the back. It's hard to tell what caused it to crash, but it might have run into one of those clouds of recklessness you see in the sky.
The Great Alexander: ....clouds are made of water.
The Great Alexander: HE CRASHED A BOAT INTO WATER
Murphys World(JW%): Maybe on worlds that didn't wrap the fabric of reality to force Murphy to name them...
The Great Alexander: We're doing the right thing by stealing this boat. Clearly the other guy isn't competent for it
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) jumps onto the ship
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) start another naga dance and sing along as I do it. "I wish this boat was repaired and improved to the right working tune...~"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Don't leave without me!"
The Great Alexander climbs inside
Kendra Derby (Al): I do the same dance as I did earlier, "IIIIIIIIIIII wish Miss Dante had more of an aggression streak."
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) slithers into the navigation cabin.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die. The die showed: 6
Murphys World(JW%): Whoops, sorry...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 52
Murphys World(JW%): Okay, the boats keel straightens out, but doesn't seem to start up or inflate the balloon.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 80
Murphys World(JW%): Hang on, Kendra just managed a failure. I need to see if it's critical or not.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): Oh shit
Kendra Derby (Al): Shit. big grinDD
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 54
Murphys World(JW%): Miss Dante has a sudden urge to punch Miss Derby, who has a sudden taste of cotton candy in her mouth for some reason.
The Great Alexander does a rain-dance and says "Oh, Balloonship! Inflate and ascend!"
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 58
All-The-NOT-Single-Ladies: BACK I'M SORRY
All-The-NOT-Single-Ladies: I might be going to bed innasec too ;~; I'm sorry guys
Murphys World(JW%): The balloon inflates and ascends. Before Alexander or Maxine can get aboard.
Murphys World(JW%): 'sokay Penny we'll save this.
Kendra Derby (Al): Alex got inside.
All-The-NOT-Single-Ladies: I was doing haiiir
Kendra Derby (Al): The Great Alexander climbs inside
Murphys World(JW%): Okay, you're all inside. The ship shoots upward as the balloon inflates.
Murphys World(JW%): You're all blessed with a pleasant cool breeze from the airconditioning as your stolen skyship floats, uncontrollably, upwards.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) takes hold of the ships wheel to maneuver the ship.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 57
Kendra Derby (Al): I flop around on the ground, doing the worm. "Oh heavens, do not allow the ship to reach past the skyyyyy~"
Murphys World(JW%): The ship fails to respond. You continue to ascend.
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 7
Kendra Derby (Al): How'd my wish/request go?
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) frowns and looks over to the rest of the group. "There should be a rudder or tiller about. Someone take charge of that!"
Murphys World(JW%): It won't ascend past the sky.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) punches Kendra
Murphys World(JW%): Hang on, rolling for combat...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die. The die showed: 4
Murphys World(JW%): dang it!
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 59
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): Sorry I was making popcorn
Murphys World(JW%): There we go. Kendra takes a big troll fist to the face.
Kendra Derby (Al): Praise Jesu-- I fall down and cry with a bloody nose.
Kendra Derby (Al): Should I roll to see how hard I cry.
Murphys World(JW%): ... yeah, go for it.
The Great Alexander: "OI WOT DA YA THINK YER DOING"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Oh, suck it Derbs; it's just a bloody nose."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 51
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "...OH MY GOD, DID I JUST DO THAT, I'M SO SORRY"
Murphys World(JW%): The skyship continues to ascend.
The Great Alexander: "WE'RE TRYING TO CONTROL A SHIP AND YOU'RE PUNCHING PEOPLE"
Murphys World(JW%): You don't cry hard enough to make the pain go away, sorry.
The Great Alexander: "I OUGHTA PUCNH YOU FOR THAT"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"
Kendra Derby (Al): "I-IT'S A BLOODY GODDAMN NOSE, YOU BITCH, IT HURTS."
Murphys World(JW%): ... technically the wish for an increased aggressiveness, I don't think one punch is going to do it.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) starts twitching
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) tackles Kendra and begins beating the shit out of her
Murphys World(JW%): Rolling for combat...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 19
Kendra Derby (Al): I flop around while sobbing. "I-I wish this goddamn shi-- OW FUCK."
Murphys World(JW%): Moderate success.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING"
Kendra Derby (Al): I try to punch the troll in the face.
Murphys World(JW%): Miss Dante successfully beats her employer as you all ride the balloon higher and higher.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 44
Murphys World(JW%): You land your punch, but your puny elf arms don't manage to hurt her(Well, maybe her feelings)
The Great Alexander starts breakdancing and doing spin-a-roonies. "I wish we had contol of the balloon ship!"
The Great Alexander: *control
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 11
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 5
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Dearest wind, please retract your force and return to thy former state of being, of calm and peaceful breezes." I let go of the wheel to clasp my hands in prayer while swirling my tail around in circles.
Murphys World(JW%): Good enough.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 88
Murphys World(JW%): The spinning Alexander does throws him into the wheel. Unfortunately Miss Lafayette has cause something more dramatic to happen.
Kendra Derby (Al): Hm... I try to use my charm to get the troll to stop beating the shit out of me, flashing a smile on my bruised face.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 95
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "WHY'D YOU DO THAT KENDRA, THATS NOT NICE"
Murphys World(JW%): Tourmaline has teleported from the ship completely in a blast of winds due to her magical screwup.
Kendra Derby (Al): "YOU KEPT CRYING ANYTIME WE HIT A PLANT."
The Great Alexander: "....where'd snaketits go."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "YEAH CAUSE PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS YOU ASSHOLE"
Kendra Derby (Al): "THEY CAN'T TALK; THEREFORE THEY'RE INFERIOR TO ME."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "MY FATHER HAS CRIED AT NIGHTS FROM THE HEARTBREAKING THINGS THE LETTUCE HAVE TOLD HIM"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE"
Kendra Derby (Al): "YOUR FATHER IS A CRACK ADDICT."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK"
Murphys World(JW%): Tourmaline appears in the middle of a barfight among the giants at Svens Casino and Truck Stop.
The Great Alexander: "Guys, the naga just vanished."
Kendra Derby (Al): I'm too involved in shouting to notice Alexander.
The Great Alexander: "Guys."
Kendra Derby (Al): "NO, YOU FUCKIN' SHIT.
Kendra Derby (Al): *"
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 95
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 14
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "WHAT THE FUUUUCK!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): " YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL SPECIAL CAUSE YOUR A LADY. THAT YOU'RE BETTER THEN US SIMPLE COUNTRY FOLK"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "YOUR FUCKING PEOPLE TAKE OUR LETTUCE AWAY FROM US TO BE EATEN"
Kendra Derby (Al): "BECAUSE IT'S DELICIOUS."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "THATS WHY MY FATHER CRIES AT NIGHT"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Oh my!" I duck down to avoid the punches before trying to slither away.
Murphys World(JW%): A bird releases it's bowels on the windshield of your boat, blocking the view. Not that it matters as Alexander is still bodily tangled with the wheel.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 75
Kendra Derby (Al): "HE IS A GODDAMN PUSSY."
Murphys World(JW%): Failure to escape.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 52
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) punches Kendra again
The Great Alexander: I try and steer the boat while tangled inside
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 65
Murphys World(JW%): You bite your lip as you try to avoid stomping viking boots. It kinda hurts.
urphys World(JW%): Hang on, need to resolve the punch...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 8
Kendra Derby (Al): I try to roll away.
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 12
Murphys World(JW%): Success on the punch, but Kendra manages to make it to the far side of the ships cabin.
Murphys World(JW%): The dice roll on the steering however is a failure. Fortunately not a cirtical one.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) grits my teeth as I try again to be reunited with my companions. "I wish I was with friends once again."
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 72
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) punches the ship and makes a huge hole in it
Kendra Derby (Al): "...YOU IDIOT."
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 48
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH SHE DIDN'T PUNCH A HOLE IN THE SHIP."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 40
Murphys World(JW%): Tourmalines mess up magically makes her want to raid the buffet table in the casino, despite the fight taking place at the time.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MOVED!"
Murphys World(JW%): Hang on, you wished she didn't punch a hole in the ship, rolled a 40...
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Vasuka damn it all!" I cry out as I drag my coils to the buffett table.
Murphys World(JW%): The ship lurches(due to the pixie who can't see out the windshield steering) and Dante's punch hits Derby. Knocking her out.
Kendra Derby (Al): I start dancing and shout "I WISH FERNLEIGH WAS AN ELF."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 93
Kendra Derby (Al): shit
Murphys World(JW%): You're out cold AND have a magical mishap. Nice.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 73
Murphys World(JW%): Miss Derby now has horrible static charge. Any time she touches anything metal she'll take damage form the shock. Will also shock anyone who touches her for...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 10 sides. The die showed: 4
Murphys World(JW%): Four minutes.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): How do we measure time?
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Please...I wish I was back with friends instead of Sven's." I start waving my arms about as I work myself to a frenzy.
Murphys World(JW%): Fortunately, she's probably not going to touch anything metal, laying in a puddle of her own drool on the floor.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 42
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 72
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Hey guys Fernleigh is making sparky noises!"
Kendra Derby (Al): I spasm on the floor.
Kendra Derby (Al): "pika pii~"
Murphys World(JW%): Okay... Tourmaline suddenly teleports back to you guys, landing on Dante. From the waist down however Tourmaline is numb, her "legs" are asleep and she can't move them.
The Great Alexander: "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO, SCALES?"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Ooof! ...Hey Snakey French Lady is back!"\
Murphys World(JW%): She still has a plate of food from the buffet table in her hands.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "I...I don't know but it was a viking casino...."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) takes food
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) shrugs and starts eating the food from the plate.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "And you brought me some food too, thanks!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "HEY!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "MINE!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "There's some veggies; have those instead."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "...oh wait its not dirt and gravel, carry on."
The Great Alexander: "Guys, we still can't control the boat."
Murphys World(JW%): Keeping in mind that a trolls power lets them alter any "food" to taste and feel like whatever they want...
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): Ohh oops
Kendra Derby (Al): Have I recovered?
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I wish the pixie wasn't so.... stucksy. In the wheelie!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) dances about
Murphys World(JW%): Mostly they like turning dirt and gravel(which doesn't scream when you pick it) into cheese burgers and fine wine.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 29
Murphys World(JW%): Alexander pops out of the wheel and lands on Kendra, shocking them both and waking up Kendra. Who is still electrified.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Yay you okay, Alexander?"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Oof! Careful there!"
The Great Alexander: "I was a wheel. Meh. Been better."
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) still on top of Kendra because of numb tail.
The Great Alexander climbs off Kendra
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): *Dante not Kendra
Murphys World(JW%): The ship no longer feels like it's ascending. But it's still not under control.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) shoves Tourmaline off
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Merci beaucoup..."
Kendra Derby (Al) jolts back up, feeling sheer electricity pulsing through my veins!
Kendra Derby (Al): I TAKE COMMAND OF THE WHEEL.
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 70
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): Am I still aggressive?
Murphys World(JW%): Until that wish is removed, yes, you're still aggressive. Controlling the ship is at a bonus difficulty and is already a failure so...
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH WE HAD AN EXPERT NAVIGATOR."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 86
Kendra Derby (Al): FUCK
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) kicks Kendra in the ass
Murphys World(JW%): Hang on, that's TWO critical failures I need to... oh heck... I'll lump them together.
Kendra Derby (Al): "AND I WISH MISS DANTE WAS SWEET AND PLEASANT AGAIN."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 91
Kendra Derby (Al): JESUS NO
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 77
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 71
Kendra Derby (Al) sobs
Murphys World(JW%): You all are struck blind, only able to see via a sudden ability to echo locate.
The Great Alexander: "AGH WHAT THE FUCK, CAN'T SEE SHIT, SEMPAI"
Murphys World(JW%): You all are suddenly incredibly horny and... okay since that says "first person you see" and you were just struck blind this one will have to wait...
Kendra Derby (Al): I do what, I think, is the dance to Thriller. "I WISH WE COULD SEE AGAIN
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "WHAT ZE HELL DERBSSSS!?"
Kendra Derby (Al): *."
The Great Alexander: oh goddammit that is the best loop hole
Murphys World(JW%): Roll die for orgy Al.
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 80
Murphys World(JW%): Nope, adding a new failure to the list...
The Great Alexander: God fucking dammit Al
Kendra Derby (Al): I am just fucking everything up! :'D
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I CAN'T SEE!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) tries to move towards the Great Alexander. "You know...I've alwayssss liked manly men...."
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) tries to beat up what she thinks is Kendra... but instead its Alexander
The Great Alexander: "*w*"
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH WE COULD SEE AGAIN."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 72
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 96
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): ((The fact that Alexander is the only one who noticed Tourmaline was gone makes me wanna ship them now))
Kendra Derby (Al): I wish my next several wishes are automatic critical successes.
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 93
The Great Alexander: ((Also he called her Snaketies))
Murphys World(JW%): Okay, that's ANOTHER failure Al, and the one BEFORE that has summoned a random monster aboard the ship...
Murphys World(JW%): That's ANOTHER failure...
The Great Alexander: oh come the fuck on, al
Kendra Derby (Al): guys I think I should stop.
Kendra Derby (Al): someone else wish us not-blinded and horny.
The Great Alexander: yo back the fuck up i'm bout to drop this shit
Kendra Derby (Al): and monsterless
Murphys World(JW%): Hang on the monster is a...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 92
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 72
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "I wish we could all see again...so I could have my fun with my manly pixxxie...." I say while swaying seductively and coiling around Alexander.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 63
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "You don't even have a vagina snake lady"
The Great Alexander starts popping and/or locking and raps
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "NOT TRUE."
Murphys World(JW%): Anyone know what a Pisgie is?
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "SNAKES DON'T HAVE VAGINAS!"
Murphys World(JW%): You have a thieving pisgie stealing all the cargo...
The Great Alexander
"I wish from the bottom of my heart
We was all back at the day's start
Before I jump right the fuck out the hatch
Teleport us back to the veggie patch!"
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 96
Murphys World(JW%): And that's another couple of failures I need to roll...
The Great Alexander: god fucking dammit
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "WELL I'M A NAGA, NOT AN ACTUAL SNAKE!"
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 76
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Besides. Fantasy setting."
Kendra Derby (Al): I ROLL TO SAVE OUR ASSES FROM BEING BLIND AND ALL OF THE OTHER FAILURES, OH GODS OF THE DICE.
Kendra Derby (Al) anti-grav lean
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die. The die showed: 4
Kendra Derby (Al): whoops
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 91
Kendra Derby (Al): ._.
The Great Alexander: YOU FUCKER
Kendra Derby (Al): "FUCK THIS, KENDRA, OUT."
Kendra Derby (Al): I jump out of the hatch.
Murphys World(JW%): Okay, I'd like to point out that Al's "On a roll" bonus has turned into a "fucked up big time" bonus...
The Great Alexander: Do we see this?
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 91
The Great Alexander: I don't think we do
Murphys World(JW%): You hear it fine.
The Great Alexander: "guys I think kendra left"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) jumps out the hatch after her, cause I'm still aggressive toward her
Murphys World(JW%): The air around the ship is now filled with Hellium, and you all talk in a squeaky voice.
The Great Alexander: "what the fuck"
Kendra Derby (Al): I keep wishing that we can see again.
The Great Alexander: "WHAT THE FUCK"
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 70
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 37
Kendra Derby (Al): ....F-finally.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "I wish all the insanity would stop...and that stupid Kendra was back on board."
Murphys World(JW%): Right, I think I have what... four more failures before that success kicks in?
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 9
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) spins around as she says this
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 41
Murphys World(JW%): You all have a horrible case of dandruff(Tourmaline needs to shed her skin)
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 23
The Great Alexander: aww man
The Great Alexander: I PLAY RPGS TO ESCAPE REALITY
Murphys World(JW%): The monster is joined by two more of... whatever it is...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 37
The Great Alexander: MY SCALP PROBLEMS ARE FOLLOWING ME INTO THE GAME
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): HOW IS THIS YOUR REALITY MEKA
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) uncoils from around the pixie to start shedding my scales.
Murphys World(JW%): Your eyes all bug out in a comical but unpleasant manner.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 35
The Great Alexander: But we still can't see
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I WISH I WASN'T FREE FALLING, HELP ME DADDY!"
Murphys World(JW%): Aaaand...
Kendra Derby (Al): "I wish these goddamn failures never happened."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 11
Murphys World(JW%): The world warps until you're all standing together on a pleasant landscape made of taffy, a river of chocolate flowing in the distance.
Murphys World(JW%): Your eyesight is cleared, and everything else seems to have resolved.
The Great Alexander: Can we see any of this?
The Great Alexander: Yay!
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Mmmmwhat issss that succulent smell..."
The Great Alexander: "fookin hell, where are we."
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Oh, my pixie!" \
The Great Alexander: "it smells really good here, is anyone else hungry?"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "...I'M ALIVE!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) glomps The Great Alexander.
Murphys World(JW%): Yes, you've lost your echolocation, your increase libido, and the helium voice.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE PUNCHING KENDRA ANYMORE!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) glomps her
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH THAT GODDAMN TROLL WOULDN'T HAVE HAD AN AGGRESSION STREAK."
The Great Alexander is glomped by a damn snake lady
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 18
The Great Alexander: <_>?
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "LETS BE BESTED FRIENDS FOREVER
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "What?"
Murphys World(JW%): Plus all the monsters, your airship, and... yeah, NOW the aggression is reversed.
Kendra Derby (Al): "don't you touch me, mongrel."
The Great Alexander: "you're kind of crushing me. I thought you were a cobra, not a python X_X"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I'm not a mongrel, I'm a troll, silly face"
Murphys World(JW%): Oh yeah, also lost your electrified body(Kendra), and the inability to move your snake tail(Tourmaline).
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Oh, my apologies." I uncoil from around the Great Alexander.
Kendra Derby (Al): "And just to spite you, I wish. the troll was an elf."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 14
Murphys World(JW%): Oh! And Kendra's mouth no longer tastes like cotton candy!
The Great Alexander: "<_>? Thank you."
Murphys World(JW%): ... aaaand Dante is now an elf. With troll like qualities.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) slithers over to taste the chocolate river.
Kendra Derby (Al): ...holy shit seriously
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "WHAT DID YOU DO!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) begins crying
Murphys World(JW%): She's still extremely strong and immune to most things(no longer immune to sex though)
The Great Alexander starts eating the taffy ground
The Great Alexander: should I roll to see what flavor it is?
Kendra Derby (Al): "...That worked?" I reply, leaping back and tossing the troll-elf off me.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "I've always adored dark chocolate..."
Murphys World(JW%): The chocolate river tastes like chocolate. The taffy has a strange nutty flavor like caramel.
The Great Alexander: or if it's like Laffy Taffy or Saltwalter Taffy?
The Great Alexander: "....huh. Not bad!"
Murphys World(JW%): Laffy Taffy.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I WISH I WAS A PRETTY TROLL AGAIN"
The Great Alexander: Oooh!
Murphys World(JW%): ...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 6
Murphys World(JW%): Success!
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH SHE WASN'T."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 12
Murphys World(JW%): She's back to being a troll. "Pretty" is a relative term.
Murphys World(JW%): Right, now she's an UGLY troll... which... um... isn't that different...
Kendra Derby (Al): I leap the fuck out of the way and into the chocolate river.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) takes some taffy and dips it into the river before tasting it. "C'esssst magnifique!"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "WHY DO YOU DO THAT, LADY DERBY!"
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH DANTE WASN'T A LADY AT ALL."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 8
Kendra Derby (Al): ....oh god
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): PFFT
Kendra Derby (Al): "also not a troll."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 36
Murphys World(JW%): You now have a MALE Troll very angry at you.
Murphys World(JW%): ... you now have a male... hang on...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 67
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "MY BOOBIES ARE GONE!"
The Great Alexander follows Snakey's lead and also does so.
Murphys World(JW%): Dante is now a troll strong(and tall) PIXIE man.
The Great Alexander: Normally I'd wonder how we even got here, but, y'know. This is nice too.
The Great Alexander: ...wait what
Kendra Derby (Al): ...OH MY GOD.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) starts crying
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) wishes The Great Alexander would call her by her name...but doesn't mind his company.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "MISS KENDRA IS MEAN"
The Great Alexander your name is very long and hard to say
Murphys World(JW%): Hang on, Tourmaline just made a wish. Silently so with a greater chance of failure...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 62
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 86
Murphys World(JW%): Her scales turn green.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "AAAAAAH!
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH DANTE WAS A HUMAN!"
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 68
Kendra Derby (Al): welp
Kendra Derby (Al): that failed
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "MY BEAUTIFUL SCALESSSSS!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "ZEY ARE RUIIINEED!"
The Great Alexander: ((what color was she before?))
The Great Alexander: "Wot, now you're a garter snake?"
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 85
Murphys World(JW%): Oh, Kendra just turned green skinned as well.
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH I WASN'T GREEN SKINNED ANYMORE."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 45
Murphys World(JW%): ... hrm... don't think you're on a streak...
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 51
Murphys World(JW%): Yeah, your skin turns not green. Now it's purple.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "Please...please restore my scales to the way they were...!" As I dance about I randomly toss up dark chocolate in the air.
Kendra Derby (Al): Purple is acceptable.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 66
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 86
The Great Alexander: GREEN N PURPLE GREEN N PURPLE
Kendra Derby (Al): "I WISH DANTE WASSSS... SOMETHING OTHER THAN A PIXIE."
Kendra Derby (Al) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 92
Murphys World(JW%): Tourmaline's scales turn purple.
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 35
The Great Alexander: "....are there even purple snakes?!"
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) whoops in delight as her scales turn back to their original color before diving into the river.
Murphys World(JW%): And the landscape twists and reshapes. It's no longer taffy but instead grass, and the river is now... water.
Kendra Derby (Al): "I REGRET NOTHING."
Kendra Derby (Al) is carried off by the water
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "Hello grass!"
Murphys World(JW%): Dante is still a Pixie who should punch Kendra out before more magic is performed.
Murphys World(JW%): The grass responds by...
The Great Alexander: "....what"
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die. The die showed: 1
Murphys World(JW%) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 42
The Great Alexander: WHAT
Murphys World(JW%): Dogmatically being grass.
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): "I WISH I WAS BACK TO NORMAL AND THAT KENDRA CAN'T CHANGE ME AGAIN"
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly) rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 24
Kendra Derby (Al): I think I went overboard with the wishes.
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko) slithers out of the water.
Murphys World(JW%): Success! Dante is back to normal. For a given value of normal.
The Great Alexander: "Why did you just jump into the choco-river?"
Kendra Derby (Al) is triumphantly being dragged away by the water
Tourmaline Lafayette (Alko): "I was happy that my scales were restored! It's now normal water anyway."
Murphys World(JW%): ((The river has returned to normal... and/or you were teleported to somewhere with normal grass and a normal river))
Kendra Derby (Al): "VICTORY!"
The Great Alexander: "Oh. Awww...."
Kendra Derby (Al): ...also wait
Fernleigh Dante (Firefly): I'm beginning to get a little tired
Kendra Derby (Al): isn't dante still a male troll.
The Great Alexander: ((https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/h... just gonna leave this here))
Murphys World(JW%): No, Dante is "normal" again. A female troll.
Kendra Derby (Al): 'kay.
Murphys World(JW%): Did somebody save this for Penny?
Kendra Derby (Al): ...can we play again tomorrow.
Murphys World(JW%): Sure.
Kendra Derby (Al): This was fun.
{Session 2}JW%: Okay then, we left off having swept you along. Now lost, you stand by a large stream of fresh and in no way chocolaty water, and lush green grass that is certainly not taffy.
Tourmaline Lafayette swims in the river, enjoying the cool refreshing water.
JW%: There looks to be a town a short distance down river. Or maybe a bunch of mushrooms growing in the shape of apartment buildings. It's hard to tell from this distance.
Fernleigh Dante jumps into the river
Fernleigh Dante: "WHEE!"
Fernleigh Dante spashes big puddle everywhere
Kendra Derby is trying not to drown.
Kendra Derby: "shitshitshit"
Kendra Derby: "can'tswim"
Striker Eumeka was timed out
Fernleigh Dante: "I remember back home, when we were done toiling in the lettuce ranch, we used to go skinny dipping in the river to cool off. Good times"
Fernleigh Dante: "...Miss Kendra?"
Fernleigh Dante: "...Miss Kendra you're not supposed to flail like that."
Kendra Derby: "I CAN'T SWIM."
Kendra Derby continues to flail wildly
Fernleigh Dante: "Why they don't teach you rich fol to swim!"
Tourmaline Lafayette sighs and goes to rescue the stupid Light Elf.
Kendra Derby: "BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK SWIMS ANY MORE."
Fernleigh Dante: "...You must of had a sad childhood Kendra,"
JW%: Hrm...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 22
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Indeed." I grab hold of Kendra.
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 19
JW%: Trying to swim, Kendra's fancy shirt rips.
JW%: But Tourmaline manages to get ahold of her.
Kendra Derby: "Oh dammit!" I shout, pinning the shirt to my chest as the naga rescues my sorry ass.
Kendra Derby: "...And thank you, Miss Lafayette."
Fernleigh Dante starts laughing hysterically
JW%: As an elf, grace is everything... being shown to be a clumsy swimmer... well you'd better not let that rumor circulate to all your friends back home!
Kendra Derby: "shutthelluphick."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "It's no problem." I reply as I swim back to shore with Kendra in tow.
Kendra Derby: "...where's the pixie, anyway?"
JW%: Don't ask me, I'm just the GM
Fernleigh Dante: "So I guess you need a new shiirt, huh Kendra?"
Kendra Derby: "Yes, Fernleigh." I say as I pull myself out of my other companion's arms and onto the shore.
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Now, now there's no need to mock her misfortunes, Miss Dante."
Fernleigh Dante: "She mocks mine"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "That's true. Stop mocking her, Kendra. Your inflated sense of self-superiority goes too far sometimes."
Kendra Derby: "She cries herself to sleep every night over lettuce."
Kendra Derby: "Lettuce."
Fernleigh Dante: "SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN"
Tourmaline Lafayette smacks Kendra upside the head. "Bad Derby!"
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 38
JW%: The weather starts to shift...
Kendra Derby: I smack the naga upside the head in retaliation
JW%: Hang on...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 33
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 6
Tourmaline Lafayette: guys dinner's ready for me....Put it on hold for a bit?)
Fernleigh Dante: "Maybe if your shirt wasn't made of flimsy rich people material it would of stayed!
Fernleigh Dante: "Maybe if your shirt wasn't made of flimsy rich people material it would of stayed!
Kendra Derby: "Maybe if you didn't repeat yourself and felt the wonders of silk, you'd understand!"
Kendra Derby: And sure, Alko.
JW%: The winds start to pick up. When Alko gets back, the party has been engulfed in a gale of fluffy cats.
Tourmaline Lafayette snatches a cat right out of the air.
Tourmaline Lafayette punches JW%
Kendra Derby: "IS THAT A KITTY"
Kendra Derby grabs several cats out of the air
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Isn't she precious?" I say as I snuggle the cat.
Fernleigh Dante: "KITTIES!"
JW%: "Meeeyyyyoooooooowwwwww.?.."*Smack* (the sound of a fluffy housecat flying through the air and smacking into the ground.
Fernleigh Dante grabs a random kitty and cuddles it
Kendra Derby: "I have a litter of kittens back at home and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh"
JW%: Several more fly into the water and make large splashes, before trying to jump back out of the water, soaking wet.
Kendra Derby snuggles.
Tourmaline Lafayette grabs several more to join the first.
Fernleigh Dante: "I had a kitty named Catnip!"
JW%: Flying cats with claws sail through the air... it will take a Dex roll to catch each one as they come at you.
Fernleigh Dante: "...I miss him"
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 87
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 36
Tourmaline Lafayette shrugs and cuddles the ones I already have.
JW%: Kendra catches hers. Tourmaline gets hit in the face with a grumpy fluffy kitty who doesn't LIKE being a weather condition.
JW%: Take minor damage for cat scratches.
Kendra Derby grabs another cat to her ungodly amount of cats.
Fernleigh Dante rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 78
Kendra Derby: "kitties"
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 8
Kendra Derby: "Kitties."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 52
JW%: Fernleigh also gets clawed. But Kendra is very good at catching kitties before they can claw her.
Fernleigh Dante: 'OWIE!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Clearly the Derby loves her cats."
Kendra Derby: "KITTIES.[/?b]"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Which must mean she's the crazy cat lady."
Fernleigh Dante: "Makes sense. They're a prissy animal"
JW%: The winds start getting stronger as the Gale of Cats gets worse. Some of the cats are getting to be fair sized.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 87
JW%: Kendra gets clawed by a fluffy white cat that was only caught by the tail.
Kendra Derby: "MY FACE!" I give a light cry as I drop my pile of cats.
Tourmaline Lafayette: "I wish for the gale of cats to settle down on this mound..." I declare, perching the cat on my shoulders as I start to sway to and fro while waving my arms in the air.
JW%: The cats try to flee, though some or swept up in the winds again...
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 86
JW%: Failure, more cats are flying through the air. Also
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 30
JW%: Everyone roll a 1d100
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 9
Fernleigh Dante rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 70
JW%: If you get over 60 your fine. Under it, and you take a nap.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 39
Kendra Derby drops to the ground.
Fernleigh Dante: "...Everyone's asleep and its raining cats"
JW%: Aaaand Dante is the only one not falling asleep due to magical failure.
JW%: Mrreeeerrrrrooooowwwww..?.
Tourmaline Lafayette lets out a yawn as I gracefully descend to the ground and curl up, snuggling my cat.
JW%: The cats aren't even hitting the ground any more. Some of them get close enough to dig their claws in, in a desperate attempt not to be blown away!
Fernleigh Dante: "Aww poor kitties! I wish they'd stop raining."
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 90
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 2
JW%: Everyone suffers from a horrible headache, coming down with an allergy to flying cats(the sleepers wake up grumpy)
Fernleigh Dante: "ACHOO ACHOO!"
Fernleigh Dante sniffle sniff
Fernleigh Dante: So are they awake now?
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Let's get out of this weather!"
JW%: Yes. And probably grumpy due to their headaches.
Tourmaline Lafayette still holding onto her cat, she starts slithering towards the town, head bent low.
Fernleigh Dante: "...Agreed ACHOO!"
Kendra Derby: "By the heavens, I was having the nicest sleep..." I groan in annoyance, getting up gracefully.
JW%: The town is...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 97
Kendra Derby: I grab for another cat as I follow the rest of the group.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 35
JW%: A small city state, with good walls to protect it from cat gales.
JW%: Despite that Kendra has another cat she's carrying.
Tourmaline Lafayette slithers towards the town even faster.
JW%: The city is populated by...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 71
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 93
Kendra Derby runs towards the city
JW%: Pixies! They're democratic.
Fernleigh Dante: "Do we have any money to spend here?"
Kendra Derby: "Better yet, do they have shirts in my size?"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Let's get out of these winds first. Also, there's Kendra's; she's loaded."
Fernleigh Dante: "Oh yeah you're still running around with no top."
Fernleigh Dante giggles
JW%: The pixies glare at the newcommers and welcome you with...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 97
Kendra Derby: I throw one of my cats at Dante.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 63
JW%: The cat misses and the pixies jeer. "Stupid elves, can't hit the broad side of a troll!"
Fernleigh Dante: "I AM NOT BROAD!"
Fernleigh Dante: "I'm fluffy"
Kendra Derby: "That's worse, darling."
JW%: "Pft fine, she's not broad. She's fat." "How'd a troll get fat, don't they just eat rocks an' gravel and stuff?" "She hit the mother load!"
Tourmaline Lafayette groans at the pun
Fernleigh Dante: "You're mean!"
Kendra Derby: I throw a warning cat at the pixies. Fernleigh is only mine to mock, dammit!
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 19
JW%: The pixie screams in rage as the cat hits him in the face and claws him.
Tourmaline Lafayette: Does that mean Kendra is Tsun tsun towards Fernleigh?))
JW%: Um...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 79
JW%: The cat succeeds at beating down the Pixie.
Fernleigh Dante smiles
Kendra Derby: Possibly, Alko.
Fernleigh Dante: "Thanks... lets get you your new shirt"
JW%: The pixies seem to calm down a bit, grudgingly clearing the streets after seeing one of their own beaten by a fluffy angry cat.
Kendra Derby holds a cat threateningly
Kendra Derby: "Watchin' you."
JW%: The pixies back away, though angrily, letting you take shelter from the cat gale.
JW%: The distant sound of "Mmmmrrrreeeeeooooooowww?wrrrr*splat*" as cats hit the wall can be heard from the other side of the protective wall.
Fernleigh Dante: "So...what now?"
Tourmaline Lafayette sighs and drags Kendra into the clothing store she just found.
Fernleigh Dante follows
Kendra Derby gets ready to steal goddamn everything
Kendra Derby: Damned kleptomania.
JW%: And y'all wonder why the pixies were not happy seeing you...
Fernleigh Dante: "Don't you have money Kendra?"
JW%: "What'cha want punks?" A lady pixie with a leather vest and excessive tattoos asks you in the 'dress shop'.
Kendra Derby: "How do you think I keep my money?"
Kendra Derby: "Do you have any silk tops?"
Tourmaline Lafayette groans in embarassment.
JW%: "Why'd we have anything frilly like that?"
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 64
Fernleigh Dante: "...What do you have? She's in a bit of a fix."
JW%: There is some shouting from outside. Might be best to ignore it for now.
JW%: "We gots all the kinds of clothing. Leather, chain link..."
Fernleigh Dante: "Does any of that sound good?"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Hmm...leather might be best."
Kendra Derby: "...anything that isn't worn by killing machines?"
JW%: The pixie comes up and grabs Kendra by the (torn) shirt collar and hauls her down to eye level. "If it ain't worn by killing machines it ain't worth having." The pixie is standing on her counter to do this.
Fernleigh Dante: "How bout some sewing materials? To fix her shirt?"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "We'd like to see your options for leather then. I have been wanting a new jacket for some time now..."
Kendra Derby: I try not to laugh at this.
JW%: Roll a willpower effort Kendra.
JW%: The pixie points to the sewing supplies. You can probably get a decent looking leather outfit.
JW%: Or something... fancier if you had enough jewels...
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 44
Fernleigh Dante: "I'm good personally. I prefer my clothes not to be made out of the skin of helpless cows. But I'll take the sewing supplies please."
JW%: ... drat... you succeed at not laughing at the pixie.
Kendra Derby: "Darling, visit a non-Pixie city one time. It's tacky."
JW%: "Cows? You think we make our leather out of cows?! Those things don't have nearly enough fight in them!"
Tourmaline Lafayette has succeeded in finding a fabulous white leather vest with broad shoulders and studs on a very high collar.
Fernleigh Dante: "Kendra, do you wanna walk around in a ripped up shirt, or would you jut buy something?"
Fernleigh Dante: "...What do you make your leather out of?"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "How much for this?"
Kendra Derby: "I'd rather be in this shirt than leather."
JW%: "Lions! There's a lot of wildcats blowing across the plains these days..."
Fernleigh Dante: "Then you hurt helpless lions!"
Kendra Derby: "How can a killer cat be helpless."
Fernleigh Dante: "...Good point"
JW%: "Wanna make something of it moss ears?" The pixie asks, dangling off of Kendra's torn shirt.
Tourmaline Lafayette: "What she said."
Kendra Derby: "I'd rather not."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Ahem." I look at the nametag. "Ms. Magnanimous Amaris, how much for the vest?"
JW%: "I thought so! Twenty raulds and get out of my shop." The pixie dropped down to the floor and walked back behind the counter.
Kendra Derby: "...you know I can just... wish my shirt was fixed..."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 54
Tourmaline Lafayette looks through pouch, finds the correct amount and places it on the counter. "A pleasure doing business. I'll make sure to commend your shop for its quality leatherwork to my associates."
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 88
JW%: Kendra's skin tone and hair color turns ivory white and her eyes turn red as her shirt sucks in all her coloration to fix itself.
Fernleigh Dante: "...Ow wow she's albino!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Oh my!"
Kendra Derby: "...Oh lord no, not again."
JW%: The pixie starts chortling.
Kendra Derby: "I wish to be... not an albino."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 46
Tourmaline Lafayette: "It's happened before?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
Kendra Derby: "Fourteen times, darling."
JW%: Kendra's skin regains pigment. Though not quite the same skintone as before. Or hair color. It's "close enough".
JW%: "Alright, out, all of you, before I have to throw you out!" The Pixie tells you sternly. There appears to be a lynch mob outside.
Kendra Derby: I begin to walk out of the store.
Fernleigh Dante follows
JW%: "There they are! Just as the prophecy fortold!" Shouts one of the elder and more deranged looking pixies.
Kendra Derby: ...Before stopping at the sight of a lynch mob.
Kendra Derby: "...WHERE THE HELL IS ALEXANDER."
JW%: "These are they that though the..." The elder starts to gasp and wheeze while another picks up for him. "Shall save us from the monster ARRRGH!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "...Beg pardon?"
Fernleigh Dante: "Uhh wut"
Kendra Derby: "...What."
JW%: "And lo' in a hail of cats, an elf with hair of brown, a leather clad serpent, and one that may not be seduced will come to save our city!"
JW%: Let's nevermind that your hair wasn't brown before, it is now.
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Er...."
Kendra Derby: "...we're about to kill a monster, aren't we.
Kendra Derby: *"
JW%: "That was a gale of cats! Not a hail! You daft old man, you've got the prophecy wrong!" "Have I? Have I? Then seduce that one!" The old man points his stick at Fenleigh.
JW%: "Uh... I'll pass..." The dissenter replies.
Fernleigh Dante: "...I'd prefer not"
Kendra Derby: "...hey is it okay if you take one for the team?"
Kendra Derby: "I WISH FERNLEIGH COULD BE SEDUCED."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 33
JW%: You've removed her immunity to sex. That doesn't mean either of them WANT the seduction to happen though.
Fernleigh Dante: "KENDRA NO!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Oh dear...This is going to be interesting..."
Tourmaline Lafayette lets hip sway to one side as she props herself up on her tail, using it as a makeshift seat.
JW%: "Right then, this way! To the caves of ARRGH! Bring them!" A number of pixies gather and pull/push you along. "The riches of the cave shall be theirs, if they can survive!"
Kendra Derby: "uh shit."
Fernleigh Dante: "Why is it called the caves of ARRGH!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Because we're certain this will all go over well..."
JW%: "Because they are the caves where the beast of ARRGH lives of course! The beast who has terrorized our city for ages, that you are destined to defeat and become heroes to Pixie kind!"
Kendra Derby: "B-but none of us like pixies!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Erm hold on a moment."
JW%: "Tough nuts elf broad. In you go!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Have any you tried taking on the beast yourselves?"
Tourmaline Lafayette: *of
Fernleigh Dante: "I'm too young to die!"
JW%: "Of course we have! How do you think it got named? Everyone who meets it in the caves manages to shout out 'ARRRGH' before they're reduced to a bloody smear. Alright, push 'em in and seal the cave again!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "What the hell, why would you want to seal us inside!?"
Kendra Derby: "This is why we hate pixies."
JW%: "Don't want the beast of ARRRGH to escape into the city, obviously."
Kendra Derby: "Annoying little shits."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "A plague on your city then, if this is how you treat all your guests!"
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 24
Kendra Derby: "And an immunity to it for non-Pixie folk? For the love of god say you included that in the wish!"
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 16
JW%: Your plague is successful(and doesn't effect our heroes thanks to quick thinking). They seal you in anyway. There is a fair amount of air, this is clearly a tunnel, not a cave.
Fernleigh Dante: "Its dark"
Fernleigh Dante: "I wish we could see"
Tourmaline Lafayette sighs and turns away from the sealed entrance. "Let's move on."
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 81
Kendra Derby: ...shit
JW%: Dante gains the ability to see in the dark while in this cave.
Kendra Derby: "I can't see."
JW%: Yeah, I know, should have made that a failure, but let's go with it.
Kendra Derby walks into a wall
Fernleigh Dante: "I can!"
Tourmaline Lafayette tongue slithers out tasting the air even as my eyes adjust to the darkness. "This way." I declare, slithering forward.
Fernleigh Dante grabs Kendra's hand and follows after Tourmaline
Kendra Derby is dragged along by the troll
JW%: The cavern is smooth and curves a good amount, but not too hard to walk through.
JW%: From a side cavern you hear a sound...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 41
JW%: A horse is grazing peacefully in a side cavern.
Tourmaline Lafayette stops short and motions for the others to do the same. "And stay quiet." I whisper back to them.
Tourmaline Lafayette after waiting a few moments I peer into the sidecavern. "Oh, only a horse."
JW%: The horse snorts at you.
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 43
JW%: The horse curiously walks over to you and nuzzles you to see if you have any treats.
Tourmaline Lafayette smiles and gently rubs its nose.
Kendra Derby: BRB
JW%: ... stupid random rolls. No that horse is NOT the beast of ARRRGH. It's something the pixies threw in to feed the beast and keep it from trying to escape.
Fernleigh Dante: "Horsie!"
JW%: It's a friendly, curious and tame horse. No saddle of course, and not strong enough for Fernleigh or Tourmaline to ride.
Fernleigh Dante: We should break for Al
JW%: The horse nuzzles Fernleigh and starts grazing on the moss.
Kendra Derby: Back.
Kendra Derby: "I hear a horse."
Fernleigh Dante: "Aww horsie..."
Fernleigh Dante nuzzles nuzzles
Kendra Derby: "...Can anyone else ride one of these things?"
JW%: The horse is friendly enough and snorts happily as it's being nuzzled.
Fernleigh Dante: "I can't."
Fernleigh Dante: "But do you wanna ride in the dark?"
Kendra Derby: "Miss Lafayette?"
Kendra Derby: "Hm..."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "I cannot. Let's leave it be and keep going."
Kendra Derby: "I wish for the ability for Miss Tourmaline and I to see in the dark."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 68
Tourmaline Lafayette: ((I already see in the dark...))
Kendra Derby: Oh shit, my bad.
Kendra Derby: Sorry. DX
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 25
JW%: Tourmaline has lost the ability to see in the dark, and both Tourmaline and Kendra know that the other one... or some one... is out to get them...
JW%: There are sounds in the dark...
Kendra Derby: "...Well I screwed that up."
JW%: Maybe on purpose... maybe you're trying to undermine the team...
Tourmaline Lafayette: "What the hell was that for Kendra...!?" I hiss at her in a low voice, thankful I can still rely on my other senses.
Fernleigh Dante holds on to the horse
Kendra Derby: "I forgot you could see in the dark!"
Fernleigh Dante: "Guys be quiet..."
JW%: It could be the horse... the horse might be out to get you all... there's a deadly beast in this cavern after all...
Fernleigh Dante: "Come on lets keep going."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Whatever...We move on...!" I whisper to them as I taste the air with my tongue and continue moving forward and past the sidecavern.
Fernleigh Dante leads the horse
Fernleigh Dante: "It'll be okay girl."
Fernleigh Dante: "...You are a girl right, horsie?"
JW%: The horse snorts and doesn't answer you. Maybe it's hiding something...
Kendra Derby continues to get pulled around in the dark by Fernleigh.
Kendra Derby: "...Guys?"
Kendra Derby: "....I think that horse is the beast."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Why are you bringing it with us? That could jeopardize--"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Never mind; it will serve as bait."
Fernleigh Dante: "But guys its so cute. How could it be evil?'
JW%: The horse stamps it's front hoof, not sure if it likes the idea of being bait... wait... it heard you? it understood you? ....
Kendra Derby: "I saw a rabbit possessed by demons once."
JW%: And you lack a grenade to deal with such a rabbit again!
Kendra Derby: "Cuteness doesn't mean a damned thing, darling."
Fernleigh Dante: "Its okay, you won't be bait, sweetie."
JW%: The horse seems to know Dante's track record with keeping things alive and shies away, stamping it's hooves uneasily.
Tourmaline Lafayette sighs and uses my senses of taste and smell to detect the path ahead of us. So far it's still straightforward.
JW%: Tourmaline smells something from further along in the cavern... something like a large creature... breathing.
Kendra Derby: "...Should I wish for our sight back?"
Tourmaline Lafayette holds up a hand.
Tourmaline Lafayette: "One moment. There is a large creature ahead of us."
Kendra Derby: "...or better yet wish for us to be out of here?"
Fernleigh Dante: "Uh oh"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Not now Kendra."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Stay put. I will take a look."
Tourmaline Lafayette starts slithering along the tunnel, making sure not to make a sound.
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 95
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 1
JW%: Tourmaline startles a flock of bats that fill the air, attacking your heads as they try to flee.
Tourmaline Lafayette goes very still, hoping the creature sleeps heavily.
Kendra Derby: "Dammit!"
Fernleigh Dante: "Shit!"
Kendra Derby: "I wish we were out of this cave!"
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 43
JW%: Since the bats are distracting you, you didn't rhyme and you didn't do any somatics, that's a failure.
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 83
JW%: Kendra starts morphing into a furry...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 82
Kendra Derby: nonononono.
Kendra Derby: shet
JW%: Were-skunk
Fernleigh Dante: "Pee yew!"
Kendra Derby: ...oh god.
Kendra Derby: "Oh Gods no."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "I wish I wish we were out of this pit and please let this not be a miss."
JW%: The horse bolts.
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 62
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 37
JW%: Tourmalines eyes bug out and roll around.
Kendra Derby smacks around the air, trying to hit bats out of the skies.
Fernleigh Dante: "For once cosmos can you behave, and get us the fuck out of this cave"
Fernleigh Dante dances and twirls around
Tourmaline Lafayette: "No, not my eyes!"
Fernleigh Dante rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 28
JW%: There's a roar as the horse manages to declare "ARRRGH!"
JW%: Drat...
Tourmaline Lafayette: "CRAP!"
JW%: The cavern starts to shake and collapse.
Fernleigh Dante holds Kendra Skunk
Kendra Derby: "OH GOD NO!"
Tourmaline Lafayette starts digging like no tomorrow. Fortunately teh ground is soft.
Fernleigh Dante: "THIS IS THE END"
Kendra Derby sobs
Kendra Derby: "I'M GONNA DIE IN A TERRIBLE FORM LIKE THIS!"
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 16
Fernleigh Dante: "I'M GONNA DIE AND DADDY WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!"
Fernleigh Dante: "ALL BECAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT MADE THE SKY BLUE!"
JW%: The cavern collapses, leaving you safely(because of Tourmalines supernatural digging ability) in the bottom of the now much lower mainstreet of the pixie town.
JW%: You see the sun and blue sky above... and...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 47
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 32
Kendra Derby: With happiness, I look at the sky.
Kendra Derby: "VISSSSSSSSSSION!"
Fernleigh Dante: "Kendra you smell terrible"
JW%: the beast of ARRRGH is revealed as an Inncubus, his skin ablaze with dark flame.
Fernleigh Dante: Goddamnit why did you have to take my immunity to sex away Al?
Kendra Derby does a twirl, wiggles arms around randomly. "I WISH THIS MISS WAS NOT AMISS, AND BACK TO MY FORM OF NORM."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 98
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Mmmm he's got quite the package..."
Kendra Derby: DAMMIT.
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 21
Tourmaline Lafayette checks out the incubus.
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 60
Kendra Derby: I throw a cat at the incubus.
Fernleigh Dante: "Focus Toumaline he's...oh my he's fine"
Fernleigh Dante drools
JW%: Kendra loses sixty pounds from her waistline.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 42
Kendra Derby: "...jesus he is attractive."
Fernleigh Dante: "Who's Jesus?"
JW%: The cat apparently is fine too. The incubus catches it and... the cat enjoys being 'petted'. It's left purring with slightly burnt fur as the incubus advances on you.
Tourmaline Lafayette starts teasing the incubus, beckoning him to approach by swaying her hips and tail.
Striker Eumeka joined the chat
Fernleigh Dante: GODDAMNIT ALKO THIS ISN'T COC
Kendra Derby starts spasming
JW%: ...
Kendra Derby: ...MEKA GET IN CHARACTER
Kendra Derby: WE NEED YOU.
Tourmaline Lafayette: :P
JW%: Roll on your charisma or appearance check Tourmaline.
Kendra Derby drops cats
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 44
JW%: Success. The incubus pounces on you and... is distracted. You're not doing anything for a bit either.
Fernleigh Dante: "What...what should we do?"
Kendra Derby: I repeat the same wish from before, "I WISH THIS MISS WAS NOT AMISS, AND BACK TO MY FORM OF NORM." and spin on my head while flailing my arms randomly.
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Looks like Miss Lafayette is having fun tonight!"
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 60
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 37
Kendra Derby: "We wish our way out."
JW%: Kendra's were skunk eyes bug out and roll around.
JW%: The pixies are in a panic, fleeing from the beast of "ARRRGH" ... and also "Ooooh." and "Ugh" and whatever else Tourmaline is saying as she... uh... delays it from attacking the rest of you.
Kendra Derby: "...can I just... please be normal and the three of us away from the incubus, universe." I say with hopes and dreams crushed in my bvoice, doing a cheerless dance.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 20
JW%: ... I know I threatened to bring in the FATAL rules, but I didn't mean tonight...
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Oh my...he's so big...!"
JW%: Hrm...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 25
Striker Eumeka changed name to The Great Alexander
Fernleigh Dante: "Eww"
Kendra Derby: ...you rolled that's always bad.
The Great Alexander barges in
JW%: Kendra accidentally stubs her toe, screwing up the magic.
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 72
Kendra Derby: "LAFAYETTE YOU'RE A FUCKING SNAKE, HOW DO YOU EVEN FUCK AN INCUBUS."
JW%: Alexander is hit with the extra magic from that last screw up. He is now charged with electrical power!
The Great Alexander is zapped
The Great Alexander: OUCH
Fernleigh Dante: "Well at least one of us is having fun"
The Great Alexander: "WHO DA FUCK DID THAT"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "WHO CARES IT FEELS SSSSSOOOO SSSSINFULLY GOOOD~!"
Kendra Derby: Dude you have electric power. SHOCK THE INCUBUS TO DEATH
JW%: ...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 67
Kendra Derby: GO KENSHIRO ON THAT MOTHERFUCKER
JW%: The magic of the incubus soaks through and the black flames surround Tourmaline...
JW%: Turning her irresistably attractive.
The Great Alexander: I charge at the incubus and do a Raiden human torpedo at him
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 85
The Great Alexander: While souting KUNG FU GIBBERISH
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Ah, try not to hit me!"
JW%: You're hardened battle nerves have just turned to the equivalent of soggy cereal. Perhaps you can talk your way out of it... make a Will power roll to shake off your fear and return to your senses Alexander. Or a Charisma roll to talk the Incubus and Tourmaline into not making it a 'three way' with you in the middle.
The Great Alexander: what the fuck did i just walk into
The Great Alexander: also
The Great Alexander
>?charisma
>?talking someone OUT of sex
wut
JW%: ... Yeah, just roll, I'm not sure if I should count a success or a failure...
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Oh Alex, this is simply the best! You MUST try it!"
Tourmaline Lafayette this while she's riding the incubus...
Kendra Derby: "I WISH THIS MISS WAS NOT AMISS, OF FORM OF NORM," I shout, doing the cheeriest dance possible "AND A WEAPON WITH NO HITCH TO REAP FOR THIS PIXIE TO KILL THIS INCUBUS BITCH"
Fernleigh Dante: "This is disgusting!"
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 68
Kendra Derby flips table
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 3
The Great Alexander: Which gives me better odd, will or charisma?
Kendra Derby: I run up and punch the incubus in the jaw.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 58
Kendra Derby: okay you know what I'm just gonna stop
JW%: A sword of astral light, looking like a constellation of stars itself, falls down from the sky for Kendra... and skeweres her through the head. Fortunately it's not solid, but it gives her a blinding headache(and a reduction on her attempt to punch).
Fernleigh Dante: "I wish Kendra was no longer in her funk, and that she was no longer a smelly skunk" *cheerful dance"
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 47
JW%: Kendra, caught with a blinding headache, also has a sneezing fit.
JW%: Let's see... now for Dante's spell...
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 66
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 44
JW%: Dante is suddenly attacked by all the...
Tourmaline Lafayette turns her charm on Fernleigh. "Come on, Fernleigh...Don't you want to give him a try...?"
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 52
JW% asked Chatzy to choose between earth, air, wind and fire. Chatzy chose: air
JW%: Attacked by all the air in the area as the gale of cats blows over the walls and pelts everyone with soft fluffy angry kitties.
Kendra Derby: "Lafayette, you really should get off and try to help slay the beast!" I shout, using my Charisma.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 93
JW%: Oh, will power Alexander.
Fernleigh Dante: "Ow kitties, play nice!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: "But I haven't gotten off yet!"
JW%: Tourmaline successfully has seduced Fernleigh. The two girls have a chance to get... amorous.
The Great Alexander: kay, will then
Kendra Derby starts grabbing cats.
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 45
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 80
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 94
Kendra Derby: DAMMIT
Fernleigh Dante walks up to Toumaline
Fernleigh Dante: "Do you want to..."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Oh yes~..."
Kendra Derby: "Oh great now they're fucking."
Tourmaline Lafayette wraps tail around Fernleigh and lifts her up...while still riding the damn incubus.
JW%: Okay, strangely enough one of those last(physical not magical) failures led to you getting a bump on the head. Suddenly your personality changes into the most badass martial artist in the world. You were just toying with the incubus, you can beat him at any time and... your normal personality reasserts itself.
Fernleigh Dante: "You have a strong tail" *purr purr*
JW%: Oh, and Alexander failed his willpower... so... one of the three who are... uh... putting on a display... gets to make him their bitch.
JW%: I'll... let you sort it out... I might need a drink...
Kendra Derby: "I WISH FOR A GODDAMN ASTEROID TO KILL THAT GODDAMN INCUBUS."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 63
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 81
The Great Alexander: "._."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Why don't you grab the little one over there, Fern?"
JW%: Kendra is suddenly subjected to a change in the local gravity. She can now walk on walls... but not the ground.
Kendra Derby: ...
Fernleigh Dante: "I-I... I dunno. She'll be mad at me. And I don't want her mad at me."
Kendra Derby jumps onto a wall, and jumps off to tackle the incubus.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 72
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 59
Tourmaline Lafayette: "I meant Alex."
Fernleigh Dante: "Of course you did... Cause I totally don't wanna do anything to Kendra thats silly"
Fernleigh Dante nervously laughs
Kendra Derby: "LADIES. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES."
Kendra Derby: Charisma.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 31
JW%: Given the number of failures you have been having, you have a sizable penalty AGAINST success... but I'll give you this one.
JW%: Kendra just ordered you laides to... hold each other.
Tourmaline Lafayette hugs Fernleigh Dante lovingly.
Kendra Derby: ...ahahaha typos
Fernleigh Dante picks us Kendra and holds her like a baby
JW%: I think it's time the incubus tried a spell...
Kendra Derby: "the heavens are you doing."
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 57
Kendra Derby: "Fernleigh stop."
Fernleigh Dante drops her
Tourmaline Lafayette looks toward the incubus. "Got a name, handsome?"
JW%: Incubus's spell causes everyone in the immediate area to become suddenly very acrobatically flexible and double jointed.
JW%: ... oh hell, how did I roll that?
The Great Alexander: What the fuck
Kendra Derby: "HEY ALEX."
Kendra Derby: "MURDER TIME."
Kendra Derby grabs pixie and throws at Incubus
The Great Alexander: I use my electricity and flexibility to do a Blanka spinning thunderball attack on the incubus
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 52
JW%: "They've been calling me 'the Beast' for a while." The incubus managed to whisper into Tourmalines ear(as he nibbles it). "Call me Theron."
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 97
The Great Alexander: l;;fxz;dfdfzjkjl;d FUCK
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Ooh, that is a lovely name~...And don't stop what you're doing to my ear..."
JW%: Yeah... um... Kendra successfully throws Alexander into the... uh... pile... to be caught by Tourmaline. He gives her a pleasant buzz from his dying electrical charge.
Kendra Derby: "GODDAMMIT UNIVERSE."
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Oh, hello Alex!"
Kendra Derby: "I WISH MY NEXT SEVERAL ATTACKS ARE SUCCESSFUL AND WITHOUT PENALTY."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 64
The Great Alexander: "<_>?"
Kendra Derby: dude the dice hate me
JW%: Failure, your next several attacks will fail. And...
Kendra Derby: "FERNLEIGH DO SOMETHING TO HELP."
Kendra Derby: "YOU GODDAMN, NO-GOOD, USELESS TROLL."
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 70
JW%: Kendra's wish sparks her to fall in love with...
JW% asked Chatzy to choose between Alexander, Tourmaline, Fernleigh and Theron. Chatzy chose: Fernleigh
Tourmaline Lafayette: "KENDRA ADMIT YOUR FEELINGS FOR FERNLEIGH! YOU--MMM--KNOW THEM TO BE TRUE!"
Kendra Derby: "U-USELESS TROLL, IT'S NOT LIKE I-I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING!"
Tourmaline Lafayette: ((Even the chatzy clearly ships them))
Fernleigh Dante: "I LOVE YOU TOO, I'VE BEEN WITING FOR THIS MOMENT... BUT I THOUGHT YOU'D YELL AT ME"
JW%: Theron pats Kendra on the shoulder. "Hey, baby, just mellow out and go with it."
Kendra Derby: I backhand the incubus.
Kendra Derby: It said to admit love, not to join an orgy.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 29
JW%: Your attack, as per your wish, fails. You give his butt a pat.
The Great Alexander: OH!
Kendra Derby: I attack him again, aiming for his heart!
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 84
JW%: This time you pat...
The Great Alexander: I take the advantage of the incubus being distracted, and hip deep in Tourmaline, to use his testicles as a punching bag
Kendra Derby: "FERNLEIGH IF YOU LOVE ME, HELP ME."
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 49
JW% asked Chatzy to choose between Theron, Alexander, Fernleigh and Tourmaline. Chatzy chose: Fernleigh
The Great Alexander: While yelling
The Great Alexander: ATATATATATATATATATATA
Fernleigh Dante tries to punch the incubus
Fernleigh Dante rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 84
JW%: Hang on... that's actually a success on Alexanders case...
Tourmaline Lafayette: "Theron, perhaps we could meet up again sometime after this adventure...is over....!? Oh yes, right there!"
Kendra Derby
Hokuto No Ken - You wa Shock full versionYouTube · 2:57 · 5 years agosince there are alot of You Tube users who haven't upload the full version of of this song I decided to do it myself for everyone to enjoy XD btw I uploaded ... relevant
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 57
JW%: Fernleigh on the other hand failed, and is overcome with great compassion for the Incubus, who's been stuck in that cave so long... and now has a little pixie punching his nuts.
The Great Alexander: "HOKUTO! HYAKURETSUKEN!"
The Great Alexander: "ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAOR?AORAORAORAORAORA"
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 65
JW%: The incubus screams in pain/pleasure, and the flames surround you all, swirling with black fire that turns the crater you ALREADY MADE into an even larger one.
JW% rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 58
JW%: Yeah, the incubus slumps down exhausted, with a silly grin on his face.
Kendra Derby: ...how many more attacks/wishes of mine are doomed to failure?
JW%: His flames have extinguished.
Tourmaline Lafayette has finally gotten off and cuddles with the incubus.
JW%: Um... I think your attacks are clear again. You didn't give a number.
The Great Alexander: I flex/stretch out before grabbing him by the legs and hammer throw him like in Mario 64
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 88
JW%: Your tiny pixie size fails to lift him, but he enjoys the foot massage. "Damn, even the little guy is into this? You guys are GREAT!"
Kendra Derby: "I WISH THIS MISS HAD HER APPEARENCE NOT AMISS, AND WITH HER NORM FORM." I shout while twirling around.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 10
Kendra Derby: And now she's not vain anymore. I hope.
JW%: Kendra returns to elf form, having lost her were-skunk shape and abilities.
Fernleigh Dante: "I WISH TOURMALINE WAS ACTUALLY FUCKING HELPING" *stamp stamp stamp"
Kendra Derby: "And that this incubus was hit by a bus."
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 51
Tourmaline Lafayette: "What why!?"
JW%: A bus pulls up, but doesn't hit anyone.
JW%: "Oh, hey, you guys are great... I think that's my ride." Theron says standing up.
Kendra Derby: "SEX DEMON."
Kendra Derby: "CAUSED ME TO FALL FOR A GODDAMN, UNSIGHTLY TROLL."
Tourmaline Lafayette rises up. "Perhaps we can keep in touch, Theron~?"
Kendra Derby: "HE NEEDS TO DIEEEEEE."
JW%: "Yeah, you guys are great. Here..." He gives succubus/naga Tourmaline his number. "Call me babe." He leaves, the love spell on Kendra and Fernleigh still active.
The Great Alexander: I grab the number and electrocute it until it burns
Tourmaline Lafayette squees and swoons into a snakey pile of squee.
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 71
Tourmaline Lafayette snatches the number before he gets at it.
Fernleigh Dante holds Kendra's hand
Kendra Derby: I grab the number out of the naga's hands and tear it to shreds.
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 88
Fernleigh Dante: "All's well that ends well"
JW%: You've successfully branded the number onto Tourmaline. She can call up an incubus any time she wants now.
The Great Alexander: FUCK
Tourmaline Lafayette: "YEEES!"
The Great Alexander: Fuck it
The Great Alexander: "RIP AND TEAR"
The Great Alexander: I DO A SHOUT TO THE BLOOD RED MOON AND INVOKE THE POWER OF THE WARRIORS PAST AND FUTURE
Fernleigh Dante: So I presume this would be a good palce to stop?
Tourmaline Lafayette smacks him on the face with tail.
The Great Alexander: And then rip the chunk off skin where the number is off Tourmaline
Tourmaline Lafayette rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 2
The Great Alexander rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 93
The Great Alexander: FUCK
JW%: Yeah, now's a good place to stop. Though Tourmaline playfully slaps Alexander, and gets a nice massage.
Kendra Derby: "I WISH FERNLEIGH WAS OF ANOTHER, NON-PIXIE OR TROLL RACE."
Fernleigh Dante: Guys we've been doing this for 3 hours- okay
Kendra Derby rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 25
The Great Alexander: What the shie was this
Tourmaline Lafayette: GUYS I SAVED IT ALL 8D
Kendra Derby: I don't know, Meka.
Tourmaline Lafayette: Check your pms guys
JW% asked Chatzy to choose between Elf, Drow, Dwarf, Trow, Brownie, Ogre, Celestial, Naga, Human and Rakshasa. Chatzy chose: Ogre
Tourmaline Lafayette changed name to Alkonost
The Great Alexander changed name to Striker Eumeka
JW%: Yes, Fernleigh will turn into an ogre at the start of the next session.
Kendra Derby: "...Fuck! :D" |
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Post by JW% on Oct 13, 2013 1:21:30 GMT -8
Murphy's World: Where Things Can Always Get Worse™ is a roleplaying game I picked up at a used bookstore while in Alaska and considered it a strange little lark. It reads like a somewhat British fantasy comedy novel.
The game 'system' itself is somewhat limited, as most of the 152 pages is devoted to the setting of Murphy's World, but there's enough bare bones to make it work, if you want to use this thing for a table top game. The reason for the game being so "bare bones" is because Murphy's World is meant more as a setting that established characters from OTHER worlds visit, and so it's meant to be fully compatible with character sheets from Dungeons and Dragons, GURPS, White Wolf, or basically anything(the characters themselves being compatible is a whole other issue). A lot of the system, as you'll see, is entirely up to the GM to manage, but it works.
The setting gets it's name from Sean Murphy, an independent space explorer and opportunist. Throughout the book we are introduced to things through journal entries penned by him, which the OOC narrative then has to explain. The world is "actually" called Færie if that matters to anyone.
The first few pages explain the landscape of Murphy's World, including a nifty little map that Murphy has written notes on like "serves good beer" and "don't visit, owe a guy money" while the narrative explains that the world of Murphy's World is so seriously soaking in magic that the very landscape itself is constantly shaped and reshaped by belief of the inhabitance, and therefore any maps can be utterly useless unless you really believe in them, but should only be taken as a guide. The heavy saturation of magic also leads to a number of gateways from other realms and worlds, which probably would lead to player characters from other game systems falling into this madness.
Then we get into player races.
Elves are first, and believe they justifiably should be. Elves are intelligent, graceful, knowledgeable, athletic, excellent wordsmiths, and have magical powers. Unfortunately they are also fussy, stubborn, assertive, conceited, snobbish, condesending, and correct far too often for others to remain comfortable around them for long. Mostly due to long lifespans rather than any actual ability.
A side bar notes that a common elf would have the following traits:
Quote: "That's not quite cricket, eh what?"
Vocation: Charity Event organizer, Cricket Player, University Don, Aristocrat
Intelligence: 16, Bright
Willpower: 15, Willful
Charisma: 17, Charming
Mystic: 14, Sensitive
Strength: 6, Weak
Dexterity: 17, Nimble
Fitness: 14, Hale
Appearance: 15, Comely
Health Points: 11
Height: 4'6" (1.4m)
Weight: 90 lbs(41kg)
Traits: Arrogant, Conceited, Stuffy, Perfectionist, Snobbish, Picky, Disdainful of non-Elvish things, Lazy, Deathly afraid of being embarrassed.
Back in the main body of the text it describes that elves have an innate magical talent. The more useless the better, since they don't like doing actual work. Some choices include magically being able to arrange flowers, or locate lost croquet balls. There's also quite a bit on their customs, culture, religion, and language which I'm not going to transcribe, mostly because it's joke text and while amusing, I'm getting tired.
On the next page we have a 1 to 100 table of typical elf names. Three columns for male, female, first, and last names(sometimes these tables forgo family names or maintain gender neutrality). From there the various tribes of Elves, such as the Light Elves, the Gandharva(all male) elves, The Apsara(all female) Elves, the Nymphs, the Drow(a second table for Drow names is included), and the Krythule.
Next are the hardworking dwarves who get the same treatment as the elves but I'm going to primarily skip over. Then the fashionable Brownie, the aggressive Giants, the earth loving Trolls, the dumb Ogres, the macho Pixies, the nerdy Technocrats(who are more of a religion than a race, and are basically anyone who's trying to make technology work on Murphy's World. It works about as well as magic does...), the overpowered Celestials, the evil Rakshasas, the seductive Nagas, the humorless Poughvidd, and the Reagombies. The list finally ends with a half page(every other race gets at least two pages, if not five or six) for "Human" saying basically "If you don't know what one of those is...". If anyone wants me to explain anything about them, I will, since Murphy's World tends to have a... unique... take on each of these normally classic fantasy races.
We finally get some pages on how to GM this stuff, some tables for character traits(things like "afraid of water" or "gets clumsy and tongue tied around attractive members of the preferred sex"), and some tables of numbers for conflict resolution through dice rolling.
All conflict resolution includes a chance for scoring exceptional success or exceptional failure. Plus, you're supposed to track how often you have these successes or failures, as when a character starts to be successful, they get bonuses to further success, and if they start to fail they get penalties to fail further. This tends to lead characters into places where the critical effects become more and more common and start to spiral out of the player characters control.
A few more pages are spent on various "theme of the day" stuff, like "Nothing is as easy as it looks" or "Good fortune will come in the least expected and usually most embarrassing form".
Finally we get the rules on magic in this world, which basically states that the player has to form the spell as a "wish". A roll is made to resolve the action is successful, taking into consideration how extreme the request is, how stressed the magic user is, if anyone is working against them, how much effort they're putting into the spell(verbal components, rhyhming, gesturing, doing a little dance at a specific height of the moon when the stars are in alignment, etc), the characters current winning or losing streak, etc. If the roll succeeds the GM then decides how to (mis)interpret the wish as they see fit, doing their best to embarrass the player character and keep the player laughing at their own mistakes. If the roll fails, there's another table of random effects to pick from(usually with another die roll) most of which hinder or embarrass the player character(some of which aid, but those are few and far between).
Then we get a number of tables for generating NPCs, some pre-made NPCs including Sean Murphy himself, and then some suggested treasures like the Great Silver Swizzlestick or the Helm of Blatant Obliviousness. A few locations that could be interesting to explore, some monsters to fight, and finally a means of putting that all together, at random through rolling on a bunch of different tables. The results of the randomized tables being... sometimes rather interesting.
Finally, we end with a pre-made adventure about helping a Romeo and Juliet couple of Giants who want to get away from the mob and the casinos(yes, the Giants are Norse inspired with viking designs and weaponry, who run casinos and have an organized crime mentality, these are the things I skipped in the race description) of their family and live a peaceful life together.
Given how much of these RELIES on dice rolling and a quick reply from a GM, this is NOT a particularly functional system to be used on this forum, nor do I intend to try to start a game here. The chat rooms that have dice rolling built in and let me make quick responses it's workable. Here, not so much.
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