Bella vs. Pepper (A Twilight and Iron Man crossover)
Feb 13, 2014 7:35:38 GMT -8
Post by marienomad on Feb 13, 2014 7:35:38 GMT -8
Disclaimer: I don't own Pepper or Bella. Pepper is owned by Marvel Comics. Bella is owned by Stephanie Meyer.
Pepper vs. Bella
By Marie Nomad
Pepper: Hello, I'm Marvel.
Bella: And I'm Twilight.
Pepper: My boyfriend is a narcissistic jerk who constantly goes off to save the world.
Bella: My boyfriend is a sad lonely soul who goes to high school repeatedly for a hundred years.
Pepper: Tony and I knew each other for over ten years before we finally became a couple.
Bella: Edward and I knew each other for over two weeks before we became a couple.
Pepper: When Tony disappeared, I had to fight the company and the government to get them to keep searching for him even though everyone thought he's dead.
Bella: When Edward disappeared, I stopped moving and thinking and did nothing for months on end.
Pepper: I'm sorry. Did you thought he was dead?
Bella: No, he broke up with me after being with me for six months!
Pepper: That's it?
Bella: You don't understand! He is my soul mate! He is the sun in the day. He is the moon in the night! He is the reason my heart beats every second. He makes me whole and alive!
Pepper: *sigh* Teenagers. Anyway, Tony didn't try to learn about me. He didn't even know that strawberries could kill me.
Bella: Before Edward and I even exchange words, he broke into my bedroom, watched me sleep, read my journals, and read the minds of my friends and family. It was romantic.
Pepper: That's... that's not romantic. That's stalking.
Bella: You make it sound like a bad thing. You are jealous because Tony didn't bother to learn about you.
Pepper: There's a difference between learning about someone and stalking! Stalking's not romantic! It's creepy and illegal.
Bella: You're jealous because the love I have with Edward is more true than what you will ever have with Tony.
Pepper: What do you know about true love? You're eighteen.
Bella: Don't remind me! I'm already a whole year older than he is!
Pepper: I thought he's older than you.
Bella: He's frozen at seventeen for a hundred years old but that doesn't matter if the distance between our ages increase with every single year! I have to become a vampire now!
Pepper: Tony's eight years older than I am.
Bella: That's different. Men can be older than the women.
Pepper: Anyway, what are you going to do after you become a vampire and get to spend eternity with Edward?
Bella: Live happily ever after.
Pepper: But what will you do? Spend eternity in high school and college? That's not my idea of 'happily ever after'.
Bella: I get to move up from being a mere human to a glorious vampire. They are stronger, faster, indestructible, and beautiful. With Edward, I can be that vampire!
Pepper: And what happens if humans catch you and Edward? Humans outnumber vampires. And we can destroy things that we are afraid of and know exists. You will have to hide who you are all the time. Can you live with the fear of exposure for the rest of eternity?
Bella: It's better to hide for eternity than to become an old hag like you!
Bella marches off and Pepper got out a mirror. She stared at herself.
Pepper: Old hag?
The End!
Pepper vs. Bella
By Marie Nomad
Pepper: Hello, I'm Marvel.
Bella: And I'm Twilight.
Pepper: My boyfriend is a narcissistic jerk who constantly goes off to save the world.
Bella: My boyfriend is a sad lonely soul who goes to high school repeatedly for a hundred years.
Pepper: Tony and I knew each other for over ten years before we finally became a couple.
Bella: Edward and I knew each other for over two weeks before we became a couple.
Pepper: When Tony disappeared, I had to fight the company and the government to get them to keep searching for him even though everyone thought he's dead.
Bella: When Edward disappeared, I stopped moving and thinking and did nothing for months on end.
Pepper: I'm sorry. Did you thought he was dead?
Bella: No, he broke up with me after being with me for six months!
Pepper: That's it?
Bella: You don't understand! He is my soul mate! He is the sun in the day. He is the moon in the night! He is the reason my heart beats every second. He makes me whole and alive!
Pepper: *sigh* Teenagers. Anyway, Tony didn't try to learn about me. He didn't even know that strawberries could kill me.
Bella: Before Edward and I even exchange words, he broke into my bedroom, watched me sleep, read my journals, and read the minds of my friends and family. It was romantic.
Pepper: That's... that's not romantic. That's stalking.
Bella: You make it sound like a bad thing. You are jealous because Tony didn't bother to learn about you.
Pepper: There's a difference between learning about someone and stalking! Stalking's not romantic! It's creepy and illegal.
Bella: You're jealous because the love I have with Edward is more true than what you will ever have with Tony.
Pepper: What do you know about true love? You're eighteen.
Bella: Don't remind me! I'm already a whole year older than he is!
Pepper: I thought he's older than you.
Bella: He's frozen at seventeen for a hundred years old but that doesn't matter if the distance between our ages increase with every single year! I have to become a vampire now!
Pepper: Tony's eight years older than I am.
Bella: That's different. Men can be older than the women.
Pepper: Anyway, what are you going to do after you become a vampire and get to spend eternity with Edward?
Bella: Live happily ever after.
Pepper: But what will you do? Spend eternity in high school and college? That's not my idea of 'happily ever after'.
Bella: I get to move up from being a mere human to a glorious vampire. They are stronger, faster, indestructible, and beautiful. With Edward, I can be that vampire!
Pepper: And what happens if humans catch you and Edward? Humans outnumber vampires. And we can destroy things that we are afraid of and know exists. You will have to hide who you are all the time. Can you live with the fear of exposure for the rest of eternity?
Bella: It's better to hide for eternity than to become an old hag like you!
Bella marches off and Pepper got out a mirror. She stared at herself.
Pepper: Old hag?
The End!