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Jokes
Jul 4, 2013 3:54:34 GMT -8
Post by arcanius on Jul 4, 2013 3:54:34 GMT -8
Well let's have a laugh
I'll go first(Obviously) This one is from my country, about how a lot of people don't even seem to know about it's existance
The bulgarians decide to declare war on the americans, our president calls the president of America and says: - Im going to level new york if you don't surrender. The american president says - We'll never surrender. And new york gets bombarded Our forces get entrenched and brace themselves for the counterattack..... But a counterattack never comes Our president calls the american president again: - Im going to destroy Philadelphia if you don't surrender. And the american president again says - We'll never surrender. And Philadelphia gets bombarded Our forces again get entrenched and brace themseles for counterattack..... And the counterattack still is nowhere to be seen Our president calls the american president for a third time - Surrender or this time I'll oblitherate Washington. The american president screams in rage - YOU BASTARD JUST WAIT UNTIL I FIND YOU ON THE MAP!!!!!
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Jokes
Jul 5, 2013 0:44:52 GMT -8
Post by annoyed on Jul 5, 2013 0:44:52 GMT -8
Let me guess: GWB was president when this was thought up?
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Jokes
Jul 5, 2013 0:51:21 GMT -8
Post by arcanius on Jul 5, 2013 0:51:21 GMT -8
Not really sure when to tell you the truth
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Jokes
Jul 11, 2013 6:18:18 GMT -8
Post by arcanius on Jul 11, 2013 6:18:18 GMT -8
Priest wisdom:
- Father, is it a sin to sleep with another man's wife - It is not my child, but you don't really sleep
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Jokes
Jul 30, 2013 12:46:11 GMT -8
Post by arcanius on Jul 30, 2013 12:46:11 GMT -8
Ba Uruk Gum ya(Short Orcish dictionary)
Ba gum va Gum ba(Basic words and phrases)
Hur - Man Led - woman(from lady) Hur Led - family Baa - 1)Great, powerful, mighty 2)Compliment Nya - 1)As a noun - Something, an item, an object 2) As a verb - I take/I give Nyuk - Someone or something the orc dislikes Gam - Thought as an action Gam nya - Book, scroll, written words Gam Nyuk - A wise person Gam nyar nya - library Gur - yes, or course, if Bur - no, bad, something gone wrong Puc - every action towards someone or something other than yourself Def - Every state of unstate - Death, Sleep etc. PUC DEEEEEF!!! - Common orc battle cry Ta ga dam - movement, actions Mlya - Orcish epithet, swearing Hash - 1)Meat. Everything dead 2)Creature Gha - Trees, plant Ghash - Fire Am - I see, eye Am Baa - Great eye Iu - Every possible shade of red Iu Am - Red eyes Pi - Every non-alcohol drink Iu Pi - blood Pi Pi - What comes out of the orc after drinking Sham - Food, eat, feed Sham Ma - 1)Highly respected orc 2)Chef(Also known as Sham Baa) Duk - Every alcohol drink Hur Duk - Drunkard(f. Duk Led) Sham Duk - Pub, tavern, inn Oop Se - Surprise, amazement in a bad way Sna Gad - Slave Bik Cog - Greatest orc compliment Bur Ruls - Place where the orcs live Sham Mlya - weapon Gur Hur - 1)Commander, leader 2)Compliment M'nya - money Eck - little, nothing Lya - small, weak, frail(Lya Lya - baby) Klo thash - Clothes, dressing up Som fink - every other thing
Numbers(Without use of fingers) Gu - 1 Gu gu - 2 Gu gu gu - 3 Every self-respecting educated orc can count to three
Cha va Sha(Time and space) Cha - hour Lya cha - A minute Cha ek - A moment Bur Cha - Day Gur Cha - Night Sha - Step Sha ek - a very small distance Sha ba - about a 100 meters
B ahash va gur ahash(Races and creatures) Uruk - Orc Hai - human Yuk - Gondorians But - Dwarves Shet yuk - Elves Baa kon - Dragon Baa Ghash - Balrog Clok Creip - Nazghul(Gur Lyut Glyuk - King Nazghul) Blya - Every other creature
Lya gum ba(Some useful phrases) Tak dedh shtuv - Loot everything they have Am bur - dissapear, die Puc Iu Pi - Draw blood Bur tu gu dum - Don't move, stay where you are Bur bu dur - tragic situation, retreat Sham mlya da puc - ready for battle Mi gur, mi gur, mi baa gur - I'm awesome, I'm great, I'm the best
Example for a sentence Tu gu dum da shet yuk, ha ta, puc det go I sham til def Let's go to the elves, kill them and then eat a lot
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Jokes
Aug 4, 2013 13:05:46 GMT -8
Post by arcanius on Aug 4, 2013 13:05:46 GMT -8
Worried about idiots claiming they write good, troubled with pathethic pieces of unethical crap that claims the title art? Come with me into the shadow.
*A dark warlock with a badass black cloak appears on the TV screen*
- Do you despise morons? Do you think that mankind will be better off without them? Are you ready to sell your soul just so all this madness could stop? Yes believe me I read these things too, I know what it's all about, I know how the IQ falls down after each one. But - heads up, we have good news! You can avoid the effects of dying while reading it, and even save your IQ. Without even bothering with boring raging, snarking and criticism. All you have to do is swear eternal loyalty to the Lord of Darkness(Me) and I take care for the rest! Hundreds of happy clients will confirm.
*Shots before and after of butchered trolls and so called "Authors"*
Intriguing isn't it. Want to hear more about it? I'll enchance your body and mind through dark sorcery, and grant you the power to see where they are hiding and then... hehehehehee, they are left to your mercy. The enchancement pack includes superhuman strenght and speed, poisonous spikes you can shoot our of your hands, flesh tearing claws, demonic wings and minor dark magic abilities. Completely safe and painless process with 100% chance of success. Your life will change completely, and for the better. You will be part of society, becoming leaders, rule entire countries, prepare an army of fanatic disciples ready to die for my cause, your own friends will probably not recognise you through all the glory and epicness. And I am a professional don't worry, even if you die I'll just bring you back to life.
So what are you waiting for just agree... And I'll find you
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