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Post by Lady of Himring on Mar 1, 2014 21:54:51 GMT -8
This thread is so we can discuss the Cullen's so called "cover", I got the idea while discussing with Chaotic Neutral on the Volturi thread. Truly this is one of Meyer's biggest fails in using the whole small town setting:
Enter a very rich family into a small town where everybody knows everybody and, not only are they cold towards people, they are downright flashy: designer clothes, great cars (in which they love to speed in "empty streets"), who happen to have kids all around 16-19 years and a set of parents who are barely pushing 40. One parent a doctor with an amazing reputation. And someone who plays the stock market and always turns a profit and never looses. And always miss school when "sunny" and are able to donate big amounts to Ivy leagues at the drop of a hat, so tell me, how the hell the Cullens think they are undercover?
And later, once the shifters fursplode in an area that should not have wolves people still think nothing's wrong? What the hell Meyer?
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Post by annoyed on Mar 2, 2014 1:01:22 GMT -8
If she were a better writer some kind of mass hypnosis excuse might be able to be pulled off.
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Post by marienomad on Mar 2, 2014 7:44:38 GMT -8
This thread is so we can discuss the Cullen's so called "cover", I got the idea while discussing with Chaotic Neutral on the Volturi thread. Truly this is one of Meyer's biggest fails in using the whole small town setting:
Enter a very rich family into a small town where everybody knows everybody and, not only are they cold towards people, they are downright flashy: designer clothes, great cars (in which they love to speed in "empty streets"), who happen to have kids all around 16-19 years and a set of parents who are barely pushing 40. One parent a doctor with an amazing reputation. And someone who plays the stock market and always turns a profit and never looses. And always miss school when "sunny" and are able to donate big amounts to Ivy leagues at the drop of a hat, so tell me, how the hell the Cullens think they are undercover?
And later, once the shifters fursplode in an area that should not have wolves people still think nothing's wrong? What the hell Meyer? I can sum it up in one word. Bribes. Lots and lots of bribes. Also, what were the Cullens thinking throwing an extravagant graduation party? Teens these days put everything online. The second they saw awesome stuff, they'll post it on facebook to brag. The huge outdoor wedding? Facebook. For all we know, the NSA is tracking the vampires. Which makes a lot of sense. And while I don't know what kind of weddings Rosalie have, I bet that they are extravagant and require very high end and exclusive stuff that attracts attention. |
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malva
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Post by malva on Mar 3, 2014 9:27:57 GMT -8
Not to mention:
They live in the woods in a huge house nobody finds. They are a weird patchwork family whose dad is a far too young hawt doctor with incredible repution, who could make career elsewhere. They never try to socialise in school and blend in, since there's nothing average about them. Edward still hasn't adapted to talk like a modern day teenager. They show no interest in anything. At least Edward is on top of the class. They aren't related, but all look like sensational fashion model Gods but are also pale as corpses, even though they go hiking every single day the wheater is fine, even during important exams. For years. They wear expensive clothes ONCE (even as a reader, I don't know why. Vampire acid sweat? Acid incontinence?). They are shrouded by questions they leave unanswered. Around teenagers. They always get food in the cafeteria, but never eat any of it, which is more suspicious than if they didn't get any.
Bella immedeately notices their car on the first day and is blinded by these sparkly Gods on first sight, and obviously everyone is just as curious as her but knows just as little.
Also, since it was brought up that Edward, by exposing himself to get killed by the Volturi, basically condemns all the festival goers to death: he better HOPE this happens. Exposing vampires would mean a catastrophic extinction war! Countless innocents worldwide would die. His own family would become fugitives in any country, losing all they have, all their precious luxuries, while being hunted across the globe by modern vampire hunters. The other vampire covens they befriended are no exception. Does he not understand this? No wonder he's the worst undercover vampire since Dr. Acula.
Imagine some fu*k lost his girlfriend and couldn't figure out how to kill himself, so he plans on pissing you off by risking the worst crisis in history. To avert it, he forces you to kill him and a huge crowd of people.
Joke is, his girlfriend is fine, his rival just said she's dead, he didn't confirm it, and his stepfather knows everything about this and is an old friend of your's, but didn't warn you on the phone.
It's like the Twilight monster gets more atrocious the more thoughts you feed it!
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Post by arcanius on Mar 3, 2014 10:46:49 GMT -8
^ One thing that always bothered me is that - wasn't it going to be much easier to kill himself if he just went straight up and attacked the Volturi. World Crisis avoiding aside, it would have been faster and simpler.... But oh no, it needs teh drahmaz. And again - throw good literature at the abomination, it's poisonous to it.
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malva
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Post by malva on Mar 3, 2014 15:38:29 GMT -8
^ One thing that always bothered me is that - wasn't it going to be much easier to kill himself if he just went straight up and attacked the Volturi. World Crisis avoiding aside, it would have been faster and simpler.... But oh no, it needs teh drahmaz. And again - throw good literature at the abomination, it's poisonous to it. I also wondered why he didn't just threaten to expose vampires to humans. To be fair, Dakota Fanning whatshername could have pain sapped him before he could touch anyone, and since they wanted him alive, unless he caused big trouble, they could have locked him in a dungeon to sulk for a century or two. If he actually needed help at suicide for whatever reason, he could have asked the werewolves or just crossed their line and attacked them. Oh right. Then he would have actually found out Bella is fine and we couldn't have hamfisted the Volturi into the plot, since there's no way they would have taken the first move. They never do anything. |
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Post by marienomad on Mar 5, 2014 7:10:53 GMT -8
I was thinking about technology. Now, technology is getting to where we can have credit card information implanted into our skin and wear glasses that can help us access the Internet. What happens when humans develop technology that is not compatible with vampires? Like for instance, when we use DNA detectors as passwords, how can a vampire use one of those?
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Post by arcanius on Mar 5, 2014 7:43:56 GMT -8
Well this means that we'll simply out-evolve twipires, and in the long run they'll just die out. Meyers fantasy will never be accomplished even in her own fantasy.... You know.... Kinda feels good knowing that even in twilight-verse reason is victorious. Well in honor of this statement that will no doubt be proven wrong in the next few posts or so:
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malva
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Post by malva on Mar 5, 2014 16:15:00 GMT -8
It's already happening. Ever tried to use the touchscreen of a smartphone in winter, when your fingers have been out in the cold? They won't register anymore. The Cullens can't even use today's everyday phones. SUCKERS!!!
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Post by Lady of Himring on Mar 6, 2014 21:26:08 GMT -8
I can sum it up in one word. Bribes. Lots and lots of bribes. Also, what were the Cullens thinking throwing an extravagant graduation party? Teens these days put everything online. The second they saw awesome stuff, they'll post it on facebook to brag. The huge outdoor wedding? Facebook. For all we know, the NSA is tracking the vampires. Which makes a lot of sense. And while I don't know what kind of weddings Rosalie have, I bet that they are extravagant and require very high end and exclusive stuff that attracts attention.
And on the computers/facebook/whatever... we hardly get any mention of the use of modern technology at all. I recall when Bella was "doing research" on Edward and if my memory doesn't fail me, it was super old type of tech/internet access. |
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Post by Lady of Himring on Mar 6, 2014 21:35:59 GMT -8
For years. They wear expensive clothes ONCE (even as a reader, I don't know why. Vampire acid sweat? Acid incontinence?). They are shrouded by questions they leave unanswered. Around teenagers. They always get food in the cafeteria, but never eat any of it, which is more suspicious than if they didn't get any.
And now that we're also metioning cars, anyone remember the car Eddikins got for Bella? A Mercedes that was armored like a tank that's not even available yet. How in the seven levels of hell do they expect people NOT to notice is beyond me. |
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Post by Lovely Kiss on Mar 7, 2014 0:07:06 GMT -8
It's pretty obvious what the answer is her: Everyone in the town had been sparklfied by the Cullens glamorous eyes and thus their brains turned to goop, in turn, it allowed this convenient ignoring of all the telling signs of "something is definitely fishy here."
Or you know, Meyer is a hack writer with shit logic.
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Post by marienomad on Mar 7, 2014 8:21:39 GMT -8
It's pretty obvious what the answer is her: Everyone in the town had been sparklfied by the Cullens glamorous eyes and thus their brains turned to goop, in turn, it allowed this convenient ignoring of all the telling signs of "something is definitely fishy here."
Or you know, Meyer is a hack writer with shit logic. Or that they decided that they would rather not know. They saw that the Cullens spend oodles amount of money all around town and helped the economy of the area. They have a great doctor. They could just decide to look the other way for a while. |
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malva
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Post by malva on Mar 8, 2014 14:13:30 GMT -8
Since it just came to me in another thread:
First impressions count, and one of the first things everyone would notice about the Cullens would be their highly rare eye color. I don't even know of anyone who has yellow or black eyes, so I'll take the internet's word that very few people have it.
What are the odds that in a patchwork family where nobody is related, every single member has the same rare eye color? Even if Carlisle was a yellow eye enthusiast, how many english speaking, flawless looking, pale but outdoorsy, yellow eyed orphans around the same age can you adopt? And why is none of them outgoing enough to hang out with people other than their family?
That's not all. Black eyes are just as uncommon, and they would look alarming and unhealthy, like bloated pupils. If these guys changed from yellow to black (while acting tense from hunger) and yellow again, you'd think they have a severe medical condition or get drugged by Carlisle. If this doesn't raise questions and suspicions, it at least gets them unwanted attention, which you would avoid at all costs in their shoes.
There's colored contact lenses and even eye color surgery to fix that.
By the way: If vampires are nature's human-predators disguised as humans, why would they evolve with 3 possible SWITCHING eye colors, all of which are uncommon for their prey, which is strongly drawn to other people's eyes (and boobs)? Let alone, black and RED? Are there any two eye colors that would look more alarming, unhealthy and evil? Even albinos don't usually have red eyes. Way to alarm and scare off prey and draw tons of attention and views, which are already unavoidable thanks to your INHUMANLY good looks.
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Post by marienomad on Mar 8, 2014 16:28:57 GMT -8
Since it just came to me in another thread: First impressions count, and one of the first things everyone would notice about the Cullens would be their highly rare eye color. I don't even know of anyone who has yellow or black eyes, so I'll take the internet's word that very few people have it. What are the odds that in a patchwork family where nobody is related, every single member has the same rare eye color? Even if Carlisle was a yellow eye enthusiast, how many english speaking, flawless looking, pale but outdoorsy, yellow eyed orphans around the same age can you adopt? And why is none of them outgoing enough to hang out with people other than their family? That's not all. Black eyes are just as uncommon, and they would look alarming and unhealthy, like bloated pupils. If these guys changed from yellow to black (while acting tense from hunger) and yellow again, you'd think they have a severe medical condition or get drugged by Carlisle. If this doesn't raise questions and suspicions, it at least gets them unwanted attention, which you would avoid at all costs in their shoes. There's colored contact lenses and even eye color surgery to fix that. From what I understand, they can't use contacts because vampires eyes are so acidic that it would melt contacts in a short while. I don't know how that their eyes can melt plastic but their mouths are fine works but that's the vampire. |
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Post by arcanius on Mar 9, 2014 1:25:07 GMT -8
^ Question - how can they actually touch anybody, as in "at all" if they are acid covered. I mean not that I wouldn't like bella melting away along with all her awfulness but....
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malva
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Post by malva on Mar 9, 2014 6:11:40 GMT -8
Scary. The strongest known superacids dissolve glass, but are safely transported in plastic containers. At least they should dissolve in water, like the Legacy of Kain vampires. But fair enough. No Mary Sue is complete without their rare eye color.
That's what Edward should have told Bella to get her to stop begging for sex. "Bella, check it out, I'm sticking a condom in my EYE and... it's gone. Imagine what could happen to your intestines if I used this normally. Safe sex, my ass, this will sting. Still horny?"
So either Edward ran tests on steaks to see if it's safe, yuk, or he didn't think this through and got lucky. Let's take a guess...
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Post by arcanius on Mar 9, 2014 6:49:18 GMT -8
Do I have to... Cause... You know... I'm fine without thinking about twilight.....
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Post by marienomad on Mar 9, 2014 17:23:47 GMT -8
I wonder, how often do the Cullens switch identities? I guess that it's long enough to go to college but I'm guessing around ten years. Is that right?
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Post by Chaotic Neutral on Mar 26, 2014 18:05:06 GMT -8
Damn, how did I miss this? DX
But to add in to the discussion:
It's a small town. Everyone likes to assume things happen in small towns because they're more remote and discreet, but in actuality, it's MORE likely to get noticed than in a big city. Especially when people stand out as much as the Cullens did. Bella was shocked by their cars alone, and she honestly didn't seem to know much about vehicles, but you want to tell me that a small town full of guys wouldn't be able to tell how much their vehicles were? Or that the type of girls we're supposed to believe Jessica and Lauren were wouldn't know designer clothes when they see them? Constantly. With a new outfit EVERY DAY? And teachers wouldn't notice that the Cullens are skipping and that it's always on days that are sunny? Newsflash: Sunny days aren't THAT rare in Forks.
It is my personal belief (and headcanon) that everyone in Forks actually DOES know about the Cullens. None of them ask questions. None of them seem all that concerned about the group. Heck, there aren't even any rumors being spread about them, whether rumors about their sheer awesomeness or the more realistic possibility of rumors about inbreeding, incest, or cults. It's just "those are the Cullens", with the only individual focus being on Edward (because the other "siblings" are already obviously paired off) who is the odd man out (for over a century apparently) and "doesn't date". That's it. Hell, even the faculty don't question the obvious issues with the family: skipping school, not eating, abnormally pale. In fact, it honestly seems that the rest of the world seems to care just as much for the Cullens as the Cullens do for the world. Did anybody besides Bella actually seem SAD that the Cullens left in New Moon? Or happy when they returned? I certainly didn't see such.
So I want to believe they know, but decide to actively ignore that knowledge for their own protection and sanity to as to avoid the headache trouble the Cullens cause. Look at what all Edward did over Bella before he even shared a conversation with her! He broke into her HOUSE! He stalked her! And for a bit of a while there, she was at the top of his "to kill and eat" list. Yeah, better to save themselves the trouble and simply ignore the lot of them until they go away.
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Post by Lady of Himring on Mar 26, 2014 19:43:20 GMT -8
It's a small town. Everyone likes to assume things happen in small towns because they're more remote and discreet, but in actuality, it's MORE likely to get noticed than in a big city. Especially when people stand out as much as the Cullens did. Bella was shocked by their cars alone, and she honestly didn't seem to know much about vehicles, but you want to tell me that a small town full of guys wouldn't be able to tell how much their vehicles were? Or that the type of girls we're supposed to believe Jessica and Lauren were wouldn't know designer clothes when they see them? Constantly. With a new outfit EVERY DAY? And teachers wouldn't notice that the Cullens are skipping and that it's always on days that are sunny? Newsflash: Sunny days aren't THAT rare in Forks. Heck, there aren't even any rumors being spread about them, whether rumors about their sheer awesomeness or the more realistic possibility of rumors about inbreeding, incest, or cults.
On the rumors thing, it blows my mind that there aren't ANY rumors of the Cullens! Meyer did her best to stereotype Bella's classmates, do you not think they'd gossip? Well, I don't recall any gossip other than promp/dance talk! The adults? Nada, nothing. I mean, sure, I'm willing to suspend disvelief on somethings but, come on. This is just too much.
And on the stalking, remember that Eddikins was attracked to her bacon scent and the fact he couldn't read her mind, I seriously can't imagine any of the other girls taking the "broke into your bedroom to watch you sleep" as flattery. |
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Post by Lady of Himring on Mar 26, 2014 19:49:48 GMT -8
^ Question - how can they actually touch anybody, as in "at all" if they are acid covered. I mean not that I wouldn't like bella melting away along with all her awfulness but....
Small correction, they're not covered in acid, just their fluids are acid. I mean, what it used to be their blood, saliva, ect are now acid. Which is why they have to be dismembered and burnt (the fluid serves as fuel!). And remember that Bella woke up covered in bruises after her honeymoon, but no word on burning/itchy feelings on the downstairs area.
I wonder, how often do the Cullens switch identities? I guess that it's long enough to go to college but I'm guessing around ten years. Is that right?
That's a great question, I suppose the 'kids' change it a few years after college. Carlisle? Who knows, the man's a doctor with a very good reputation, so this one's harder. |
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Post by Chaotic Neutral on Mar 26, 2014 19:55:45 GMT -8
It's a small town. Everyone likes to assume things happen in small towns because they're more remote and discreet, but in actuality, it's MORE likely to get noticed than in a big city. Especially when people stand out as much as the Cullens did. Bella was shocked by their cars alone, and she honestly didn't seem to know much about vehicles, but you want to tell me that a small town full of guys wouldn't be able to tell how much their vehicles were? Or that the type of girls we're supposed to believe Jessica and Lauren were wouldn't know designer clothes when they see them? Constantly. With a new outfit EVERY DAY? And teachers wouldn't notice that the Cullens are skipping and that it's always on days that are sunny? Newsflash: Sunny days aren't THAT rare in Forks. Heck, there aren't even any rumors being spread about them, whether rumors about their sheer awesomeness or the more realistic possibility of rumors about inbreeding, incest, or cults.
On the rumors thing, it blows my mind that there aren't ANY rumors of the Cullens! Meyer did her best to stereotype Bella's classmates, do you not think they'd gossip? Well, I don't recall any gossip other than promp/dance talk! The adults? Nada, nothing. I mean, sure, I'm willing to suspend disvelief on somethings but, come on. This is just too much.
And on the stalking, remember that Eddikins was attracked to her bacon scent and the fact he couldn't read her mind, I seriously can't imagine any of the other girls taking the "broke into your bedroom to watch you sleep" as flattery. I stand by my belief that it's because Bella doesn't have a brain. At least Jessica had the freaking sense to NOT wander into potential danger as some indirect way of being "close" to the guy who ditched her in the middle of the woods! But that's exactly my point! Nobody even TALKS about the Cullens! No rumors! Nothing about them leaving or coming back. As stereotypical as Meyer has the kids--jocks, preps, geeks, nerds, etc--how are we supposed to believe they WOULDN'T do the stereotypical thing and GOSSIP? And yet not even one crack at the Cullens--clothes, car, grades, ANYTHING. Yes, I KNOW they're pretty much cardboard cutouts in Meyer's world and she is completely incapable of writing "dark" or at least inserting some freaking REALITY into the situation that doesn't only apply to anyone she doesn't like and wants to see suffer for no legitimate reason noted in canon. What purpose, exactly, was Lauren's bad hair cut supposed to serve? But that's deviating from the point. The signs are there. Right in front of them. Literally, in the case of Edward stopping Tyler's Van with his bare hands. In the middle of the school parking lot. IN FRONT OF A CROWD OF WITNESSES. And not ONE comment or question on how, exactly, the guy IN the car ended up so much worse off than the girl who nearly got hit by it. Cover that does not make. |
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Post by Lady of Himring on Mar 26, 2014 20:04:27 GMT -8
I stand by my belief that it's because Bella doesn't have a brain. At least Jessica had the freaking sense to NOT wander into potential danger as some indirect way of being "close" to the guy who ditched her in the middle of the woods! But that's exactly my point! Nobody even TALKS about the Cullens! No rumors! Nothing about them leaving or coming back. As stereotypical as Meyer has the kids--jocks, preps, geeks, nerds, etc--how are we supposed to believe they WOULDN'T do the stereotypical thing and GOSSIP? And yet not even one crack at the Cullens--clothes, car, grades, ANYTHING. Yes, I KNOW they're pretty much cardboard cutouts in Meyer's world and she is completely incapable of writing "dark" or at least inserting some freaking REALITY into the situation that doesn't only apply to anyone she doesn't like and wants to see suffer for no legitimate reason noted in canon. What purpose, exactly, was Lauren's bad hair cut supposed to serve? But that's deviating from the point. The signs are there. Right in front of them. Literally, in the case of Edward stopping Tyler's Van with his bare hands. In the middle of the school parking lot. IN FRONT OF A CROWD OF WITNESSES. And not ONE comment or question on how, exactly, the guy IN the car ended up so much worse off than the girl who nearly got hit by it. Cover that does not make.
Seriously Meyer fail, so much fail (And btw, your headcanon is way too awesome for Meyer. But still, awesome) |
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Post by marienomad on Apr 14, 2014 7:49:53 GMT -8
I stand by my belief that it's because Bella doesn't have a brain. At least Jessica had the freaking sense to NOT wander into potential danger as some indirect way of being "close" to the guy who ditched her in the middle of the woods! But that's exactly my point! Nobody even TALKS about the Cullens! No rumors! Nothing about them leaving or coming back. As stereotypical as Meyer has the kids--jocks, preps, geeks, nerds, etc--how are we supposed to believe they WOULDN'T do the stereotypical thing and GOSSIP? And yet not even one crack at the Cullens--clothes, car, grades, ANYTHING. Yes, I KNOW they're pretty much cardboard cutouts in Meyer's world and she is completely incapable of writing "dark" or at least inserting some freaking REALITY into the situation that doesn't only apply to anyone she doesn't like and wants to see suffer for no legitimate reason noted in canon. What purpose, exactly, was Lauren's bad hair cut supposed to serve? But that's deviating from the point. The signs are there. Right in front of them. Literally, in the case of Edward stopping Tyler's Van with his bare hands. In the middle of the school parking lot. IN FRONT OF A CROWD OF WITNESSES. And not ONE comment or question on how, exactly, the guy IN the car ended up so much worse off than the girl who nearly got hit by it. Cover that does not make.
Seriously Meyer fail, so much fail (And btw, your headcanon is way too awesome for Meyer. But still, awesome)I don't know. I would think that the police department would keep a close eye on the Cullens since that they have been nothing but trouble. Although, they might be paid off with a some new cool police equipment and paying for college tuition for the kids. |
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Post by Lady of Himring on Apr 25, 2014 14:29:49 GMT -8
And it's specially ridiculous after New Moon, when the Cullens return. I mean, c'mon, the man left Bella in the woods and her father had to orginize a search! Don't know if you've read Midnight Sun, but apparently, they gossip on their own heads instead of outloud, Edward complains (shocking, I know!) about how people "talk" about Bella and how some female teachers think of him.
Seriously Meyer fail, so much fail (And btw, your headcanon is way too awesome for Meyer. But still, awesome) I don't know. I would think that the police department would keep a close eye on the Cullens since that they have been nothing but trouble. Although, they might be paid off with a some new cool police equipment and paying for college tuition for the kids.  |
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Post by marienomad on Apr 28, 2014 3:58:25 GMT -8
I don't know. I would think that the police department would keep a close eye on the Cullens since that they have been nothing but trouble. Although, they might be paid off with a some new cool police equipment and paying for college tuition for the kids. Well, he did get all that cool fishing equipment. |
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Post by Lady of Himring on Apr 29, 2014 19:36:42 GMT -8
Well, he did get all that cool fishing equipment.
If I'm not misremembering, it was a "look how awesome Eddikins is" gift. But at the end of the day, it wouldn't surprise me. After all, rules and laws don't exist on Meyerland. |
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Post by marienomad on Sept 3, 2014 14:46:21 GMT -8
I think that Jasper was responsible for keeping people quiet. When someone gets curious and try to find out more, Jasper might just use his emotion controlling powers to make them not so interested. Kind of head them off.
The reason that he let Bella snoop was because Alice saw her in a vision and wanted her in the family.
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