Rate the above poster's character

[Darth Pichu]

Version 2.00! =D

In otherwords I just copypasta'd this entire topic. =3

Couple of rules before we start:

1)Play nice. We're all friends here, there's no reason to be hostile or mean about other people's characters.
2) In accordance with rule 1, don't expect everyone to gush over your character. We're a community of critics here, and some constructive criticism is both expected and encouraged.
3) All characters are good, Original fiction characters, Fanfiction OCs, anything you like.
4)Before you post your own character you HAVE to rate the one above. Otherwise this will just become a character showcase.
5)You can rate any other characters in the topic as well as long as you rate the one directly above you as well.
6)You can make any changes to the character sheet that you want. Add things if you need to, take away anything that doesn't apply to your character (Species might be a big deal in a science fiction story, in a romantic comedy not so much)
7)Have fun! Don't be afraid to have a bit of fun with your rating. And be helpful too!

Character Sheet:

[u]Basics[/u]

Name:
Nicknames:
Gender:
Age:
Nationality:
Hair color:
Eye color:
Height:
Weight:
Physical description:

[u]Personality[/u]

Positive traits:
Negative traits:
Quirks:
Flaws:
Skills:
weaknesses:
Job/occupation:
Hobbies:
Likes:
Dislikes:
Fears:
Phobias:
Personal Background:

[u]Relationships[/u]

Father's name:
Relationship with father:
Role in story:

Mother's name:
Relationship with mother:
role in story:

Sibling's names:
Relationship with siblings:
Roles in story:

Friends:
Relationship with friends:
origin of friendship:
roles in story:

Enemies:
Relationship with enemies:
origin of conflict:
roles in story:

Others:
nature of relationship:
origin of relationship:
Role in story:

[u]In the story[/u]
Alignment: (Good/ evil/ neutral) (Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic)
Relationship to protagonist:
Relationship to antagonist:
motivation:
goals:
dreams:
first appearance:
last appearance:


And again, you can add any fields you like or take away any that feel unnecessary. Just have fun, be creative, you know the drill.

I'mma go ahead and repost Ratio as a starter. Anyone else can chime in and get things rolling.

Basics

Name: Horatio Pendragon Vartle III
Nicknames: Ratio
Gender: Male
Age: Later twenties, 27 or 28 would be safe
Nationality: Matrian
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Grey
Physical description: Ratio is incredibly thin, to the point of looking rather skeletal and sickly. He almost always looks sunken, pale, and generally unkept. He rarely ever stands up straight, but when he does he is very tall and can in fact look rather imposing in spite of his generally sickly look.


Personality

Positive traits:
Ratio is an incredibly good leader and tactician. He can be a very persuasive speaker, and is confident and imposing. He is also very intelligent, and is good at thinking outside of the box, and deductive reasoning. He's good at getting his way, and good at being right. On top of this he is also very driven, and will rarely give up a struggle until he gets what he wants. At his core he is also very protective of the ones he holds dear, and though he may seem detatched, there are times when he shows genuine caring and compassion for the members of his Brotherhood, and sometimes, even for people outside of the Brotherhood.

Negative traits:
At his worst Ratio can be very callous, cruel, and haughty. He doesn't have a problem with using methods like torture, bribery and threats in order to get what he wants, and seems to live by the idea that the end justifies the means. He can be very self centered, egotistical and selfish, and hates to admit when he is wrong, even going as far as to endanger the ones around him to prove a point or better himself. He often lacks empathy, and in spite of the rare occasions where he does show compassion for others, in most cases he seems to be mainly focused on himself.

Quirks: He hates his name with a burning passion, thinking it to be very guady and far too long and difficult to say. The only thing that irks him more than his name is the fact that there were three people consecutively in his family line that liked the name enough to give it to their child. He also hates being interrupted, even though he does it himself to just about everybody else that he knows. He also doesn't know how to read, write or count, and flat out refuses to learn.
Skills: Ratio is a very skilled tactician in spite of his illiteracy and spends countless hours devising new battle plans. He is also one of the most skilled mages of his time and has almost instantanious and complete control over his magic. (A fact that he blows up and flaunts almost constantly) He is also a quick thinker and good at thinking on his feet.
weaknesses: He isn't very strong at all. Not very good at hand to hand combat, and his frame is often very weak. He can't keep up any kind of strenuous activity for very long and as a side effect of using so much magic, even though he's only in his later twenties his body has aged to the point where he could be in his later fifties.

Personal Background: Ratio was born to a rather well off family. He was sickly as a child, coming down with epilepsy as a young child which his father misinterpreted as demonic possession. Ratio's father devoted his life to attempting to find a way to cure his child of his possession, but suffered a breakdown a few years later and began to descend into insanity. At that point his wife had become increasingly unfaithful, and when he found that she had become pregnant, Horatio II immediately assumed that it was a demon that had planted its seed inside her and proceded to beat her to death. He committed suicide immediately after by handing Ratio a crossbow and telling him to pull the trigger and kill him. In this way, Ratio committed his first murder when he was around 4 years old.

At that point he and his older sister, Sophronia, were cast out to the streets, now having very little means of supporting themselves, and with Sophronia having no idea how to control Ratio's epilepsy. She eventually seeked out help from a mysterious old man who offered to help the two children and alleviate Ratio's symptoms if the two of them would in tern be his servants. Sophronia, seeing not other option, accepted.

As it turns out, the man was an incredibly skilled wizard who was looking for an heir. He saw great potential in both Ratio and Sophronia and began to train them both. Though Sophronia was incredibly skilled as a mage, she was also very mild and lacked the drive necessary to really achieve greatness in magic. Ratio however, in spite of his stubbornness, also showed great potential. More and more the old man focused on him, telling him stories of the ancient times when magic had ruled, how there had been no famine, war, or plague during that time, and how in his vision it would one day rule again.

Eventually, the group of them were discovered and the old man and Sophronia were both killed. Ratio and the man's other child, Rachen, were the only survivers of the attack and Ratio was forced into a catatonic state for a few months, during which time Rachen took care of him. The two bonded for a bit after Ratio began to recover and began to form a bond of Brotherhood. Ratio, however, was not about to let his master's vision go unrealized, and as a result swore that one day the world would once more be ruled by magic. Thus begins the Brotherhood.

Relationships

Father's name: Horatio Pendragon Vartle II
Relationship with father: Ratio never knew his father very well, but assumes that the man must have been a pushover and really quite stupid, based on his reactions in the past.
Role in story: Not very prominent.


Mother's name: N/a
Relationship with mother: Again, Ratio never knew his mother, and thus couldn't do much to form a relationship with her.
role in story: Gave birth to Ratio. That's about it.

Sibling's names: Sophronia Vartle
Relationship with siblings: Sophronia was Ratio's only companion growing up, and she acted as a parental figure and guide for him as a child.
Roles in story: Her memory acts as Ratio's moral center and at times is the only thing that stops him from becoming a complete monster of a person.

Name: Rachen Hollenzoller
Relationship: Rachen and Ratio aren't blood siblings, but were raised alongside each other and consider each other brothers. Rachen is very loyal to Ratio and favors him, but Ratio is often very critical of Rachen for his lack of skill in magic, and his percieved lack of intelligence.
Role: Rachen plays an important role in the Brotherhood, and later on as one of the last surviving members of the original Brotherhood.

Friends:
Name: Seven Serrina
Origin of Friendship: Ratio and Rachen found Seven nearly dead a few miles away from their home, the Citadel, along with his sister Clefina. After a lot of pleading from Rachen, Ratio agreed to take the two of them in and nurse them back to health
Relationship: Ratio and Seven fall into the catagory of friendly rivals. Seven is Ratio's second in command, and often times his sole confident. The two are almost always in competition, but it is generally agreed that one would not be complete without the other.
Role: Seven is Ratio's second in command, and a key player in the Brotherhood.

Enemies:
Name: Lord Antoine Carris
Nature of conflict: Lord Antoine is in direct opposition to the Brotherhood and everything it stands for.
Relationship: Ratio and Antoine only meet on a few occasions, and once only briefly. Still, the knowledge of each others existance and their drive against each other's causes is more than enough to spark a great hatred between the two.
Role in the story: Antoine is the main antagonist for the first part of the story.

Name: Lazarus Fisher
Nature of Conflict: Lazarus is another skilled mage who is fighting for largely the same goal as Ratio is. It is their conflicting personalities that makes it impossible for them to work with each other.
Relationship: Lazarus sees Ratio as a rival and an obsticle, while Ratio simply sees Lazarus as something in his way. The two are almost constantly at odds.
Role: Lazarus is the leader of the Alliance of Lost Souls, and a key player in the revolution.

Others:
Name: Clefina Serrina
Nature of Relationship: Ratio and Clefina start out at odds with each other, but after spending more and more time with each other become quite taken with each other. By the end of the series, neither one would quite know what to do without the other, even though neither one would admit it.
Role: Clefina and Ratio end up as lovers. Clefina bears on of his Children, Clayton Vartle, who goes on to lead the second Brotherhood in the second part of the story.

Name: Wyatt Tellerman
Nature of Relationship: Wyatt is Ratio's apprentice, as unwilling as he may be. The two have a rocky relationship from the start and neither one is very keen on the other. In spite of that Ratio does show signs (fleeting as they may be) of actually caring a bit for Wyatt and wanting if anything simply to keep him out of trouble, and wanting to see him succeed.
Role in the story: Wyatt is the protagonist.

Name: Elias Serrina
Nature of Relationship: Elias is Clefina's first born son. Ratio acts as a surrogate father to Elias, to the point where it is sometimes assumed that he is the boy's father. Later on, when the history of the Brotherhood begins to become blurred, Elias is referred to as "Elias Vartle"
Role: Elias is later kidnapped by Antoine and raised as his own child (name changed to Stephon). Stephon could be considered the ultimate main character of the entire piece, being the only character to last throughout the entire story.

In the story
Alignment: Largely Chaotic Neutral. In the end he begins to dip into the chaotic evil specturm.
Relationship to protagonist: He begins as Wyatt's mentor, though after a while when his sanity begins to slip, he becomes an antagonist to Wyatt, nearly killing him twice.
Relationship to antagonist: He is in direct competition with Antoine Carris. However, near the end he begins to become a bit of an antagonist himself.
goals: To overthrow the government of Matria and institute his own.
dreams: Seeing the world as the utopia it was in the past.
first appearance: In the very beginning of the series, when he confronts Wyatt for the first time. (this of course ends badly)
last appearance: When he dies at the end of the first part after a half brainwashed Wyatt stabs him from behind.

[Penny Royals]

Hmmm... 8.


Basics

Name: Johanna Analeise von Anderson - Johan Anderson

Nicknames: Jo, Joey

Gender: Male

Age: 16

Nationality: American, with hints of German

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Light blue

Height: 5'0

Weight: 90 lbs.

Physical description: Johan is small in stature, having used to have some growing issues which he still retains to a slighter degree, as a few friends have helped him get over it. He's got short curly blonde hair and blue eyes that are wide enough, with the glossed-over edge to it, to look like a meth addict's, which only adds to his drugged out appearance.

Personality

Positive traits: Is generally a happy spirit, with a penchant for dancing and fencing, and is impeccable at making friends.

Negative traits: Is possessive towards friends, and when he's in a bad mood, he's in a bad[/b] mood and it takes a LOT to get him back on his feet again.

Quirks: Is extremely reckless, with a hint of ADHD.

Flaws: Is weaker than much of his friends, both mentally and physically, and while he can take physical blows well, the mental ones are the ones that can shatter him pretty easily. Unlike many he doesn't go homocidal when this is shattered, but he gets into that bad mood up there, with a few drops of suicidal thoughts. He also becomes extremely timid and hostile.

Also his jealousy can be a major issue, as well as his recklessness. Many of his friends think he's just masochistic.

Skills: Well... he has a 'power', does that count? It's basically that he can withstand most wounds.

Weaknesses: Well, sure he can withstand most wounds. But that only means 'live'. He's generally sickly. Not to mention his damaged psych and severely low self esteem...

Job/occupation: Student?

Hobbies: Dancing, fencing, hanging out with his friend Sam, Sam's Grandpa Angus, and his own grandparents.

Likes: People, his hobbies, is also a major sword/knife nut. Also likes cars and, like his father, nature.

Dislikes: Incidentally, most animals and a lot of people. Also most foods, though he's come to enjoy a few(pasta, mostly). Also, hospitals.

Fears: Has an odd fear of boiling water. Also his stepfather.

Phobias: Sex, dark, most animals.

Personal Background: Johan was raised by his mother as a girl. He never knew his real father until he was his teens, and believed his father to be the man whom his mother left(for his brother) when he was very little. His 'father''s brother was a creep. Due to his mother being a nymphomaniac and a dipsomaniac, she couldn't really stay in bed with the same person for long, and so she'd go bar-hopping oftentimes and left Johan alone with his stepfather. Nobody but those two know what would happen for the next several years, but that was the start of most of his mental and physical problems.

So, at 12, he left his mother to go and live with his grandparents. He did much better here- being put into dance and into fencing. He enjoyed the latter much more(wanting to be a boy). His grandfather, however, let slip about who his real father was one day. So, desperate to meet this man, he left to try and find him. Of course he got lost and took a trip down a hole.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital bed after a year-long coma with ten other kids around his relative age. His grandfather was chatting with a nurse and another man- who, as it turned out, was an old war buddy- and his grandmother was at home, though his mother was there asleep in a chair beside him. Upon his awakening- as well as the awakening of almost every other teen in the ward- the nurse went into shock. Several other nurses were called in to witness what newspapers hailed as a miracle- before later saying that it was all some sort of conspiracy. Why? Because not only did they all wake up at the same relative time, they all knew eachother and told the same story, a story that was unbelievable even by miracle standards. And yet much of the stuff they told that happened to their bodies were relative to what happened to them in real life- in Johan's part, his 'trip down a hole' was actually him being taken into a car that was in an accident, which tore him in half and stuck him in the coma. The doctors and nurses still considered that, at least, a miracle.

It was also at this time that he learned that he was, in fact, a boy. He became somewhat hostile to his mother, because he couldn't see why she'd do that(though she of course had her reasons, he just wouldn't listen). He changed his name, with the help of his grandparents, and cut his hair.

Luckily the grandson of his grandfather's war budddy Angus was one of the other boys in the ward, and they lived near enough to eachother to realize that they go to the same school. So the two stayed as best friends(while attempting to keep up with the others over phonecalls and facebook), and it was Sam who helped him get back on growing track. Sam is also one of the people he's very possessive over, even though both know that they keep secrets from one another(Sam's is that he sees his girlfriend, Lucy, every night, and Johan's is that he still wakes up with panic attacks).

Despite this, for the past two years they've endured highschool together.

Relationships

Father's name: Andrew von Westbrooke
Relationship with father: For a long time he didn't know him, but then became close to him just before his death. He was another one of those people in that 'impossible place', who got shot in the chest and bled to death.
Role in story: He's a teacher at the school that they all attended in the 'impossible place'.

Mother's name: April Anderson
Relationship with mother: He's rather hostile to his mother, blaming her(rather unjustly) for several of his problems.
Role in story: She's really a minor character(and kinda like a plot device now that I think of it).

Friends: Let's see... Samuel Malcolm, Lucille Jones, Peter Kirk, Elliot Stone. There's more but eh.
Relationship with friends: Best friends, enemy friends, past boyfriend, good friend who's like a form of protector(seeing is how he's growing up to be a doctor).
Origin of friendship: All from the 'Impossible place'.
Roles in story: All are major characters.

Enemies: Jeffrey Raynes
Relationship with enemies: Stepfather
Origin of conflict: Molestation.
Roles in story: Minor character like April, used in backstory.

In the story
Alignment: Neutral/good.

Relationship to protagonist: He's one of the protagonists. They're all friends.

Relationship to antagonist: Student.

Motivation: Wanting to get home.

Goals: Get home. XD

Dreams: Currently he wants to be famous for his fencing.

First appearance: Start of JS.

Last appearance: ...In many a OOCIMRP with Meka.

[Maldeus]

He managed to make it to age twelve without knowing the difference between boys and girls? 'Kay, I guess it could happen...

I'm having a hard time finding a reason to like this guy, though. I guess he'd be alright to hang out with, but his involvement with the plot is kind of limited because there doesn't seem to be a plot. I can't think of a single character who I'd like to read a story about if he was just going to school or working a 9-5 job, unless his relationship with other characters was interesting in and of itself, and in this case, they aren't. He's not bad, just...Uninteresting. There's a mystery buried in the background, but it seems to be pretty much over, and his relationships with other characters don't seem terribly unorthodox or intriguing either.

Incidentally, I'd like to officially request that everyone stop giving simple numeric scores to other people's characters. I'm not interested in knowing my character's power level, I want to know what you did and didn't like about him.

Name: Angel XB-4
Nicknames: Typically goes by An Jiao or Angela when operating undercover
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Nationality: Cantrian
Hair color: Blonde
Eye color: Blue
Physical description: A little under five feet tall with a thin but wiry build.

Personality

Positive traits: Determined, bold, and compassionate. She cares deeply about almost everyone, and makes the immediate assumption that cruel people are just misguided and misunderstood. She's also quite open-minded, considering her upbringing.

Negative traits: Stubborn, reckless, and naive. She's slow to accept that some people simply do not care how much pain they cause, so long as they end up on top, and even slower to accept that sometimes the best course of action for everyone means that an innocent individual has to suffer or be left behind. Although not depressive naturally, her life has taken a toll on her psyche and she places fairly little value on it, as such. She's also been raised to follow orders even when she disagrees with them (and even disagrees with the entire war), and she does so.

Skills: Having been genetically engineered from birth and raised from birth to be a soldier, she has quite a few unusual skills. She's incredibly physically fit, capable of running, climbing, crawling, etc. etc. for several hours straight while carrying a hundred pounds of gear. Her eyes have been modified to zoom in and out like a hawk's, which make her exceptionally accurate. Her specialized training are in the field of stealth and infiltration, by breaking in unnoticed, pretending she's supposed to be there, or, when relevant, cracking into the computer system from the safety of friendly territory. She's an exceptional martial artist and her genetically engineered body has given her more musculature, pound for pound, than a human.

Weaknesses: Angel's weaknesses are primarily psychological. She hates her job with a fiery passion but has been brought up to believe that abandoning it would be dishonorable to herself, her unit, and her nation, and abandoning the ruler and people of her home country. She's prone to depression, gets attached to other people too easily, and is often reckless to the point of being suicidal in combat.

Job/occupation: Soldier.

Hobbies: Drawing, writing, and cleaning her own things up (it feels intrusive to clean up after someone else, and servile to ask permission). Also, pretending to be a normal person on the internet is sort of a hobby (which is handy, because according to the government she works for, she doesn't exist).

Likes: Normality and, more specifically, creativity, especially in other people. Friends.

Dislikes: War and hostility.

Fears: War. Her friends' deaths.

Personal Background: Angel was the accidental daughter of two immigrants to Cantria. Late into the pregnancy, they sold her to a government program under the promise that, if the injections produced the kind of baby they were looking for, they'd be granted a title of minor nobility and live off a taxpayer stipend for the rest of their lives. Angel was born with exactly the kind of modifications they'd been looking for, and after the testing period (two weeks long), her parents traded her for the title and stipend.

As a member of the Soldier X program, she was known only as "XB-4." She, like the other four in her generation of the Soldier X program, was taught to be fiercely competitive, and she was no exception. Although most of the soldiers X from her generation and the one before had their strengths and weaknesses, XB-4 was the second most competent on average in her generation, and third most competent (out of ten) of all time, though this didn't stop XB-3 (later called Tempest) from saying she was doing alright "for a girl" even as she consistently out-did him in almost everything.

They were deployed several years earlier than expected due to a sudden military crisis that ultimately spiraled into civil war. Just before their first mission, they took codenames for themselves. Names from Cantrian culture were off-limits, for purposes of clarity. Some took real names from other cultures, like Seth. Some took names they thought were intimidating, like Tempest and Oblivion. She took Angel. From their first mission on, success was measured by their performance in battle, not in drills or tests, and it was judged against arbitrary milestones, not on a curve. With the unique exception of Seth XB-1, everyone's numbers shot downwards once they were deployed in real combat (Seth's also decreased, but not as much). Although Angel's decreased by the widest margin in the earliest missions, she was one of the fastest to recover, rising up back to her old levels months earlier than most of the others.

Angel feels a responsibility for ending the wars that have plagued the region for the past fifty years, as she is one of the few people in a position to give victory to one side or another (and while her home country is almost despotic by international standards, it's easily more liberal socially and economically than most other nations in the region). She also feels a personal responsibility for ending the civil war in Cantria. In her first mission, she was tasked from rescuing the heirs to the throne from terrorists fighting for an unknown cause in the wake of the emperor's assassination. Halfway through, it was discovered that one of the princes had staged the coup himself, and she was assigned to kill him without being given a full explanation (in the heat of battle, there wasn't really time). She failed, which directly resulted in the two princes' war for the throne.

Relationships

Father's name: Unknown
Relationship with father: Non-existent
Role in story: Angel wonders who he might be sometimes. Other than that, nothing.

Mother's name: Unknown
Relationship with mother: Non-existent
Role in story: Same as father.

Friends: Seth XB-1, Chris XB-2, Tempest XB-3, and Oblivion XB-5
Relationship with friends: Seth and Angel are very, very close. The two of them are the only thinkers in the group, who wonder not just how but also why. The two of them disagree often, Angel considers Seth's loyalty to the imperial throne to be blind, while Seth considers Angel naive and impractical, but the two are very close regardless. It also helps that Seth is the only guy who doesn't try to put the moves on her...Though ironically, she's not sure she'd mind if he did.

Chris and Angel don't share many interests. Chris is very physical and likes to flex his muscles. He's a bit of a misogynist, jealous of Angel's higher mission success rate but not of Seth's. The two of them are still psuedo-friends because they grew up together, mostly.

Oblivion is a hacker, which gives them business in common at least. He also likes to write his own code, and while Angel doesn't find coding much of a chore, Oblivion considers it his art. Angel and Oblivion thus share an artistic spirit, but regrettably the chasm between their chosen mediums makes it hard for them to share one another's enthusiasm. Still, Oblivion's polite and sympathetic, which makes him a better friend than everyone else but Seth.

Tempest is like Angel's annoying little brother, except he's actually a year older than her and he's also got a crush on her. He's the most persistent of Angel's suitors, and while any actual hope of getting together with her has long since died, the irritating innuendo lives on. He's a gamer, but unlike Oblivion, he has no appreciation for the code and systems that go into it, just the easy success that it brings (he used to brag that he could beat anyone, even Seth, at Halo, until Seth gave him a direct order as his commanding officer to shut up about it).

Origin of friendship: They're all in the same squad, and thus grew up together. In many ways, they're like siblings.

Roles in story: Big. As her fellow squad-mates, Angel is teamed up with at least one of them for roughly half her missions, and it's not uncommon to be teamed with two. They're the primary supporting cast.

Enemies: Too many to list. The entire armies of Drel, Drakonat, the Zhang Federation, East Cantria, the Socialist Republic of Cantria, the Cantrian Pirate Lords, and the Paladin Movement.
Relationship with enemies: Distant. She rarely sees or speaks with enemy officers, and her interaction with the common soldiers is limited to shooting at them or, on occasion, interrogating them.
origin of conflict: It's a war. Every nation has enmity with every other nation going back centuries.
roles in story: Mostly, they provide a violent backdrop for the character drama to play out in.

In the story
Relationship to protagonist: Is the protagonist.
Relationship to antagonist: There is no unifying antagonist, however she has no relationship to any of the significant ones.
motivation: She wants to be free to do what she wants with her life.
goals: To end the war. She won't be out of the military, but she and her friends won't be risking death and she'll have much more time to do what she wants with her life.
first appearance: Her first mission, Operation Buzzkill.
last appearance: Haven't really decided, yet.

[Saeran]

I really like this character, I find her very well rounded and very realistic. I don't really seen anything wrong with her and nothing about her seems cliche

Basics

Name: Lyall Black
Nicknames: n/a
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Nationality: Altarian (citizen of the kingdom of Altar)
Hair color: Dirty Blonde
Eye color: Gray
Height: 5'7
Weight: 115 lbs
Physical description: Hair is short and falls to nape of his neck, wears glasses, is nearsighted, very pale and sickly looking and has three claw like scars going across his chest.

Personality

Positive traits: kind, quiet, good listener
Negative traits: Abandoment issues, can't communicate well with others and is prone to going into fits of insanity
Quirks: bursts into uncontrollable laughter when he's scared, has a habit of twirling things in his hands
Flaws: isn't strong at all and not very good at fighting
Skills: what he lacks in strength he makes up in speed and he is pretty handy with a knife
weaknesses: gets tired easily , is pretty frail and doesn't have a strong grip
Job/occupation: Artist
Hobbies: painting, drawing, reading and looking after the stray cats by his house.
Likes: working on his art, the commoner children that usually play in the street by his house and his cats
Dislikes: Most of the nobles he does artwork for save a few, fire and running out of paint and paper/canvases
Fears: being abandoned again, that in one of his fits of insanity he might wind up killing someone innocent
Phobias: thunderstorms, small spaces

Personal Background: Lyall was abandoned at the orphanage in Altar when he was ten but he didn't know he was being abandoned at the time, his parents just told them that they needed to go do something and they would be back for him, as you can guess they didn't come back leading to his abandonment issues. He soon was taken in by one of the caretakers at the orphanage a man named Damien Blanchett, Damien was the person who inspired Lyall to become an artist. But unfortunately Damien soon snapped killing all the children except Lyall, he told Lyall that is was his fault that he had snapped and said Lyall should've never been born, Damien then proceeded to commit suicide in front of Lyall. When the guards came investigate the orphanage they found Lyall covered in blood and laughing. He was never the same afterwards.

Relationships
Father's name:n/a
Relationship with father: n/a
Role in story: n/a

Mother's name: n/a
Relationship with mother: n/a
role in story: n/a

Sibling's names: n/a
Relationship with siblings: n/a
Roles in story: n/a

Friends: n/a
Relationship with friends: n/a
origin of friendship: n/a
roles in story:

Enemies: n/a
Relationship with enemies: n/a
origin of conflict: n/a
roles in story: n/a

Others: n/a
nature of relationship: n/a
origin of relationship: n/a
Role in story: n/a

In the story
Alignment: (Good/ evil/ neutral) (Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic) Chaotic good
Relationship to protagonist: he is the protagonist
Relationship to antagonist: n/a
motivation: n/a
goals: To become a better artist
dreams: That he might somehow be able to conquer his insanity
first appearance: 1st chapter
last appearance: last chapter

I'm sorry there isn't a lot about enemies and antagonists and stuff, I've only just started writing my story so I'm still trying to work some things out

[Penny Royals]

((Just to say, Johan(and the one I'm about to post) are both reoccurring RP characters. The backstories are things I've left open for new RPs, while putting in stuff that happened in old!RPs.))

I like him. I like the idea of insane artists who like kitties. XD


Now onto a character that's basically my little experimental Mary Sue...

Basics



Name: Lucille Evelyn Jones

Nicknames: Lucy, Luce

Gender: Female

Age: 19

Nationality: American

Hair color: Ginger

Eye color: Green

Height: 5'10

Weight: 175 lbs.

Physical description: Lucy is a tall, big girl, with short red hair in a bob. Her green eyes(wide, but not in such a way as to look creepy) are almost always obscured by a pair of pink-rimmed glasses. She's got dimples and is always smiling.



Personality



Positive traits: Fun-loving, happy, loves to get a giggle from others.

Negative traits: Mischevious, doesn't know when her jokes are going too far.

Quirks: She LOVES the color pink. EVERYTHING she owns is pink.

Flaws: Doesn't know when her jokes are going too far. She's also a rather bitchy.

Skills: As per having a scientific mind, she's good with numbers and wires.

Weaknesses: Chocolate and Sam.

Job/occupation: Student, plus working on the side at her sister's laboratory.

Hobbies: Doing Sam, working on her projects.

Likes: Sam, spiders, animals, plants, has an affection for babies and cherubs.

Dislikes: Many other people(including to a point Johan), blood, heat.

Fears: Being buried alive.

Personal Background: Lucy's parents died in a car crash when she was young. Luckily for her, her sister Creedence was old enough to simply take her sister in and raise her herself. So Lucy's like was otherwise pretty normal... or, shall we say, as normal as one's can get when they're a science kid.



For most of her life she was shunned from kids at school(or used for them to get homework), so she was lonely, but otherwise content in her work.



It was in her senior year that the guy that she'd been secretly pining for since she'd seen him as a freshman actually seemed to notice her... and more, like her back. Of course, this is Sam, and the two have been in a... rather cute relationship ever since. He's applying for the same college she is in, too.



Relationships



Sibling's names: Creedence Grace Jones

Relationship with siblings: Loves her to death and doesn't know what she'd do without her.

Roles in story: Minor.



Friends: Finley, Joe, Johan

Relationship with friends: Creedence's husband, her brother-in-law(kinda? I think that's what it would be?), enemy friends.

origin of friendship: Marriage, met him with Sam.

roles in story: Minor, minor, major



Others: Sam

nature of relationship: They's a couple.

origin of relationship: Loooong story.

Role in story: Major



In the story

Alignment: Good/neutral.

Relationship to protagonist: One of them.

Relationship to antagonist: Student.

Motivation: Getting home, also being with Sam.

Dreams: Marrying Sam and having tiny adorable babies.

[Deleted]

Oh hey, the character that I'm posting is a redhead with a bob cut too. XD

I'm quite a noob and terrible at rating things, so feel free to completely and totally disregard me. Perhaps I should refrain from posting, but I'm curious as to what people might think of my own character(s). Sooooo... I'll say that your character intrigues me, but her obsession with Sam makes her seem (to me) a little one-dimensional. However, I know some people really do get pretty fanatical about their boyfriends/girlfriends, and for all I know she's really well-rounded and just comes across as slightly flat, so then... 7/10. I'm sorry; unlike Lucille, I'm really not good with numbers. 3:

This was originally a RP character I made up, but the RPG she was in ended prematurely, so I’m trying to work out a story of my own for her. Plot is still extreeeeeemel sketchy (more of a premise than a plot, really) so if some plot-related details are vague and/or glossed over, you now know why. XD I ended up combining a couple of these categories cuz I was confused as to the differences between some of them (like negative traits vs. flaws) Anyway~~~ Enough rambling from me.

Basics

Name: Patricia Trent
Nicknames: Goes only by Trisha (also called Trish by her little sister)
Gender: Female
Age: 13
Nationality: American (US)
Hair color: Bright, unrepentant range
Eye color: Brown
Height: 4’11” (149.9 cm)
Weight: 90-ish lbs (around 40 kg)
Physical description: Small and scrawny-looking, but possessing a deceptive amount of strength. Having grown up in California, her skin is moderately tan contrary to what one would stereotypically expect from a redhead. Her aforementioned hair is cut into a chin-length angled bob, and generally receives little care. Trisha’s is a perpetual frowner. She has a small, permanent crease between her eyes, which are almond-shaped and rather wide.
Personality

Positive traits: Very determined, very tough, and wholly and totally loyal. Is willing to fight to the death for the things that truly matter to her, and despite evidence to the contrary, is ultimately an unselfish and rather altruistic individual.
Negative traits/flaws: Extremely aggressive and quick-tempered, stubborn, and brash. Has a tendency to get into situations far over her head and operates largely on emotion rather than reason. She is very gruff and somewhat arrogant. Finally, Trisha swears like the parrot of a coprolalic sailor. Basically, Trisha is an immature, insecure and frightened little girl attempting to act far too old for her age.
Quirks: Very sensitive to any comments expressing doubt about her physical abilities and/or her capacity to take care of herself. Also hates bananas and the use of her full name (Patricia is so stuffy and old-sounding).

Skills: How shall I explain this? Short version, she’s kind of psychic. Trisha has a supernatural ability to understand the true nature of things, or essence, if you will. Ever read Madeleine L'Engle’s Time Quartet? It’s rather similar to kything (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kything), actually. It’s a very undeveloped gift, and she doesn’t really have much control over it, nor does she have any true idea of what she can do with it.
On much more mundane subjects, she’s a pretty good (if dirty) fighter for someone of her age and size, and she’s surprisingly artistically talented (if not a bit abstract).
Weaknesses: Her younger sister, for whom she has complete and utter devotion and adoration, and could probably be considered her greatest source of strength in addition to her greatest weakness.
Hobbies: As mentioned above, enjoys creating art, mostly abstract collages of multiple colors and materials.
Likes: Sports, fighting, peanut butter, colors (particularly red), the outdoors, and music, especially jazz.
Dislikes: Most things traditionally feminine, being told what to do, having to exclusively devote her attention to almost any one thing for an amount of time exceeding about half an hour (yeah, she never was all that crazy about school).
Fears/Phobias: More than she’s willing to admit to, but the more prominent ones include failure, losing control, and basically loss in general. She also becomes extremely anxious when surrounded by the color white and is uncomfortable around fast-moving cars due to a bad experience with them.
Personal Background: Grew up in a very small town in a rural area of California. Her parents died when she was about ten years old, and with no remaining relatives, Trisha and her sister were taken into a children’s home. The death of her parents severely changed Trisha, and she entered a rebellious phase, falling into the habit of increasingly more disruptive behavior. About two years later, the sisters were selected for adoption, but due to a combination of rumors, miscommunication, and a very bad first impression with her would-be family, Trisha believed that she and Penny were to be separated. Desperate to stay together, the siblings fled the orphanage. They have been living out on the streets dodging the law and barely scraping by ever since.

Relationships

Father's name: Jamison Trent
Relationship with father: Both Trisha’s parents are deceased, but while he was living, the two had a very close relationship. Trisha takes strongly after her father in both looks and personality.
Role in story: Eh, none really.

Mother's name: Éirinn Trent
Relationship with mother: Again, now deceased, but Trisha and her mother had a strong and healthy relationship.
role in story: See the above.

Sibling's name: Penelope (Penny) Trent
Relationship with sibling: Very, very close. To Trisha, Penny is the most important thing in the world, and she feels obligated to protect and care for her at all costs.
Roles in story: Not entirely decided how active she’ll be yet, but her happiness and wellbeing function as Trisha’s primary motivation.

Friend: Sibyl Hobbes
Relationship: Sibyl and Trisha have a somewhat complex relationship. Sibyl is Trisha’s mentor and mother/older sister figure, but the two often clash. They are essentially two sides of the same coin; alike in many ways, yet fundamentally different in others. Though Trisha occasionally resents Sibyl’s authority and Sibyl often finds herself exasperated with Trisha’s immaturity, the two share a deep and well-nigh unbreakable bond, perhaps more so than either of them realize.
origin of friendship: Sibyl met Tisha while she was on the streets, and the older girl took her under her wing.
role in story: Co-protagonist (is that an actual term? XD); guides and protects Trisha and Penny

Friend: Zachery Quinton
Relationship: Zach functions as something of a goofy older brother for Trisha and her sister. Laidback and fun-loving as he is, his teasing occasionally drives Trisha up the wall, but she really isn’t quite as bothered by it as she seems.
origin of friendship: Sibyl and Zach go way back, (heh heh, rhymes…)so Trisha met him around the same time as Sibyl.
roles in story: One of the main characters

In the story
Alignment: Strives to be Chaotic Good, though an argument could be made for her being Chaotic Neutral. She actually has a very idealistic nature, but circumstances often force her to compromise on her ideals and sometimes lead her to do things less than savory.
Relationship to protagonist: She is the protagonist
Relationship to antagonist: …Totally honest here, I haven’t decided on a proper antagonist yet. XD
motivation: initially, happiness and survival- her own and her sister’s (especially the latter)
goals: leading a safer, better life that does not involve living off of meals swiped from homeless shelters or bought with someone else’s money.
first appearance: Well,seeing as she’s the main character…
last appearance: Have yet to get that far.

Apologies if I've skipped something; I filled this out rather out of order.

[Deleted]

7/10. Seems like a pretty well developed character, the backround is a little cliched but I liked how you played with the archetype and came up with something a little more original. Keep working on fleshing the character out and it can turn out great.

Basics

Name: Daciana Halliday
Nicknames: Day, Ciana
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Nationality: N/A
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Green
Height: 5'3''
Weight: 149
Physical description: Long, curly hair and fair skin. Very good posture, always stands straight. Not particularly muscular but not weak either.

Personality

Positive traits: Very nice, caring person. Always helps people in need when she can. Also has no qualms about speaking her mind.
Negative traits: Extremely naive. She also doubts herself and has major panic attacks, although she keeps them hidden from other people well... mostly.
Quirks: Doesn't know a lot about humans or their culture. This leads her to be really confused about some concepts, such as marriage and divorce.
Flaws: As mentioned previously, she is very naive, as well as sort of child-like in how she doesn't know the limits of her own powers.
Skills: An vastly powerful earth manipulator. At the time of the story, she is one of the most powerful beings alive (although she doesn't know exactly how powerful). The full extent of her powers is still unknown.
Weaknesses: Has trouble controlling her powers, especially when strong emotion is present.
Job/occupation: Traveler sometimes, other than that no real job.
Hobbies: Hiking, reading
Likes: Children, dogs, swimming
Dislikes: Knives, most weapons in general
Fears: Heights
Phobias: ^see above
Personal Background: Daciana grew up fairly normally among a small colony of Elementalists. After learning to control her powers, she left her village and began to explore abroad. A few years later, when the blood hunt for Keris was in full force and the Elementalist Civil War was beginning, her home was caught in the crossfire and the entire place burnt to the ground by Keris. Mentally shattered by the trauma of her parents dying in the fire, she began to wander aimlessly until her powers began to expand, causing gigantic earthquakes and huge shifts under the earth. Eventually she became one of the most powerful Elementalists in existence and was sought as a ally by both sides of the war. Trying to escape the whole ordeal, she eventually settled down and joined Christine's small team of Elementalists.

Relationships

Father's name: Perrin Halliday
Relationship with father: Very close. Was her teacher when she was learning to control her powers.
Role in story: None.

Mother's name: Jacinth Halliday
Relationship with mother: Close, but not very much. She and her mother never got along really well. Daciana's primary caretaker was her father, although her mother really loved her.
role in story: None.

Friends: Christine Wolfe
Relationship with friends: Daciana's best friend and later something more.
Origin of friendship: Christine was willing to take her in when she was trying to escape from the war.
Roles in story: Later, Christine's love for Daciana becomes a major plot point. Christine gets really, really drunk at almost rapes Daciana. This makes Christine see that she's a danger to those she cares about most and goes into self-imposed exile.

Friends: Ellis Garrett
Relationship with friends: Daciana's love interest and later husband.
Origin of friendship: Part of Christine's team when Daciana joins.
Roles in story: Little role in story, actually.

Enemies: Keris Thakan
Relationship with enemies: Mortal enemies.
Origin of conflict: Keris killed Daciana's parents and destroyed her hometown.
Roles in story: Part of Daciana's backstory is her mental trauma as a result of what Keris did.

In the story
Alignment: Neutral Good
Relationship to protagonist: Best friends (throughout part of the story).
Relationship to antagonist: Keris wants Daciana on her side, Daciana wants to kill Keris in a variety of painful ways.
Motivation: Torn between escaping the war and revenge.
goals: Surviving the war, and perhaps killing Keris.
dreams: That the war will come to a quick, peaceful conclusion
first appearance: About 1/4 into the second book
last appearance: End of the second book

[Deleted]

7/10 I like your character development

Basics

Name: Amis
Nicknames: none
Gender: Male
Age: He's a Faerie ... um looks about 20
Nationality: N/A
Hair color: Red
Eye color: Green
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 155 lbs
Physical description: Shoulder Length hair, with a strong jaw line. he has a slightly curved nose and a small scar on his cheek. His eyes are rather large and he has pouty lips

Personality

Positive traits: He is very Loyal and funny. The type of person who can plan well.
Negative traits: While he is very loyal he can be very annoying as well. He does this on purpose, bugging those he doesn't like.
Quirks: He likes to lean on things.. he is always leaning
Flaws: He can be a bully
Weaknesses: He is very weak when it comes to his love of another character Kael. His need to always be funny also gets him in trouble
Job/occupation: Amis like to Travel and he loves to read. Make out with Kael and bug the living cap out of Declan
Likes: Cats, Kael, white chocolate, Raspberries, sex, weapons
Dislikes: His father, dishonor, girls who like his boy,
Fears: loosing Kael
Phobias: ^see above
Personal Background: Amis lived most of his life in the Faerie world of Tuatha. He and Kael were lovers and spent most of their youth running around getting into all kinds of trouble. Amis is gay and in love with Kael. Amis's father became second in command to the King and Amis grew up in luxury. he is very much spoiled and likes living in those conditions. His father tried to get him to stop talking to Kael as he was a servant. Amis and Kael are then separated when Kael leaves with Declan to the human world

Relationships

Father's name: Finn
Relationship with father: He and his father do not see eye to eye.
Role in story: the evil dude

Mother's name: He doesn't know her name (he has asked and not been given an answer)
Relationship with mother: she is dead
role in story: None.

Friends: Kael
Relationship with friends: He is in love with Kael
Origin of friendship: Meet while dancing in a faerie ring.
Roles in story: Kael is torn between his love for Amis and his Loyalty to Declan.


Enemies: Gwyn/ Declan
Relationship with enemies: she is the "Sighter" friend/ he is the future king of Tuatha
Origin of conflict: Gwyn becomes an interest to Kael and she stands in the way of Amis' plans/ they have always been at each other's throats
Roles in story: She is friends with Jaden and his faerie sight can open the locked portal/ Declan is the ex prince of tuatha banished by Amis' father



In the story
Alignment: Good but he can seem bad
Relationship to protagonist: Lover
Relationship to antagonist: His Father
Motivation: Torn between his Loyalty to his Family and to the one he Loves
goals: bring order back to Tuatha
dreams: That Declan will ignore Kael
last appearance: End of the book

... just realized Amis is obbessed with Kael .. mmmmm.. okay be nice please haha

[Story Keeper]

7/10. Not my favourite character type, but good development overall.


Basics
Name: Hannah Mary Druitt
Aliases: Alisa Boch
Gender: Female
Age: 14
Nationality: British
Hair color: Ash-blonde
Eye color: Blue
Height: 5' 8''
Weight: 110 lbs
Physical description: Hannah is tall, pallid, slightly undernourished, a fast runner and strong-fingered. She has several small scars on her arms and legs from being beaten.

Personality
Positive traits: Somewhat well-mannered, educated, reasonable, funny, strong-willed.
Negative traits: Harsh, cruel (both in her sense of humour and the way she can treat people).
Quirks: Hannah's an eccentric who often ends up in some sort of verbal battle or deal. Her expressiveness can either amuse or frighten who she talks to. She's an excellent actress and nearly always has a twisted look in her eye. She has a deep voice.
Flaws: Hannah gained respect from a feared gang of ruffians when she was young, which eventually made her very ruthless. Because of this, how she describes the world around her is frighteningly realistic. She also has a taste for whiskey and has from a fairly young age. She doesn't like being told about what she already knows.
Skills: Needlework, lockpicking, arguing, disguising herself, lying.
weaknesses: Physical combat, alcohol, inability to swim, climbing, small spaces.
Job/occupation: Seamstress.
Hobbies: Writing, reading, repairing things.
Likes: Rats, debating, observing, exploring, learning, discussing, raspberries, cake, soup.
Dislikes: Music, obscene chatter, being challenged, singing.
Fears: Drowning, murder, friends being hurt.
Phobias: None
Personal Background: Hannah was born in Aldgate, London in 1850. During her early life her parents separated, her older surviving siblings left the house and by the time she was six her mother was a forboding and dangerous alcoholic and an occasional prostitute. Eventually Hannah was taken in by her uncle, a kind and well-to-do man who educated and protected her as best he could.

Relationships
Father's name: Thomas Druitt
Relationship with father: Left his wife for another woman when Hannah was about four.
Role in story: None.

Mother's name: Alice Wood
Relationship with mother: Tempestuous and melancholy.
role in story: None.

Sibling's names: Elizabeth, Sally and George Druitt.
Relationship with siblings: Separated from Hannah, but they still write letters to her and each other.
Roles in story: None.

Friends: James Henderson, Erasmus Krull.
Relationship with friends: Lover of James; close friend of Erasmus.
origin of friendship: Erasmus guided James and Hannah to safety at his home and agreed to help them.
roles in story: Protagonist and major character.

Enemies: King Kandar, Bertie Jones.
Relationship with enemies: Opponent of Kandar, one of Bertie's gang (unwillingly).
origin of conflict: Attacked Hannah's allies; insulted and attacked Hannah horribly.
roles in story: Antagonist; minimal.

Others: Victor (uncle of Hannah)
nature of relationship: Respectful and loving.
origin of relationship: Especially favoured Hannah while she was growing up.
Role in story: Guardian and mentor.

In the story
Alignment: Good, lawful.
Relationship to protagonist: Closest allies
Relationship to antagonist: Intellectual and powerful opponents.
motivation: Deeds done by King Kandar years ago.
goals: To find the Thinker's true purpose, to free all creatures and men of their world from Kandar's grasp.
dreams: To be secure, contented, happy and to know more.
first appearance: Start of the novel.
last appearance: End of the novel.