Ask Death and All of Her Friends

[Little Death]

[shadow=red,left,300]Puppets...Friends...yeah, that.
[/shadow]
Kuronue (Yu Yu Hakusho)
Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)
Youko Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho)
Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho)
Kuwabara (Yu Yu Hakusho)
Botan (Yu Yu Hakusho)


~*~

LD strolled into the room, raising a delicate dark brow at the occupants in the room. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama were all playing video games in the corner. Botan was curled up on the couch, watching the three of them with a bored look on her face. And of course, Hiei was perched on the windowsill.

With a shrug, LD floated into the air and started to clean her scythe, waiting for others to show...

[Prime Spinosaur]

"Thumpetty thump thump, thumpety thump thump, look at Frosty go~" a voice echoed from the hallway. The sound of heavy boots beat off the floor and into the occupants of the room's ears as he continued to sing. "Thumpetty thump thump, thumpety thump thump..." In the doorway of the room, in strolled Ulfr Ragnarok, scourge of the Multiverse, destroyer of worlds, and dark lord of the outerdark. His red eyes which were slit like that of a snakes took in the group playing the video games, then moved to those playing checkers. His sharp teeth were formed into a menacing grin, make even worse by the black bangs of hair going down his sides, obscuring parts of the smile. "Over the hills of snow~" he finished. He stepped into the room with his heavy boots which didn't fit with his black business attire he wore.

He reached into the pocket of his trench coat and pulled out a piece of paper. "I come on regards of Prime Spinosaur, idiot and buttmonkey of Twilight Sucks, and, unfortunately, my creator." HEY!

He held off the list of questions and asked, "Little Death...what's with the fascination with the absence of life?"

[Little Death]

Botan lifted herself to look over the back of the couch and straight at LD, waiting for her answer.
LD paused her cleaning and looked down at Ulfr. "It pays good money," she said, shrugging her shoulders and causing her hood to fall down, revealing her face. Much like Botan, she looked quite human and not dead-like at all. If fact, her skin was dark, and she had a thick head of black curls and forest green eyes that stared at Ulfr with a bored expression.

[Deleted]

"I'll say it does." In walked a gangly figure with greasy green hair, slicked back hastily on a chalk-white head. A set of lips so red they might have been covered in blood curled upward and parted ways, revealing long, yellowed teeth in a mouth full of disease.

The Joker brushed off his purple suit and walked into the middle of the room, as if trying to become the center of attention. "Killing is business, after all, and business is a-booming!" He chuckled at his own joke, typical of him.

"Do forgive me if my questions sound...rhetorical, Tiny Death, but whether or not I know the answer is...well, more than a little irrelevant if our other guests don't know, wouldn't you agree?" He looked around as if seeking approval, nodding his head.

"Now, you and I, you could say we're...colleagues? We both take lives. Different ways, of course..." As he walked forward, he licked his lips, tilting his head like a predator observing prey. He pulled out a box cutter and seemed to juggle it between his hands.

"Is that all you do it for, hm? The money? It's a tired question, but I must ask: why so serious? Why so...grim? You just GOTTA have fun with a job like yours. I know I do."

[Little Death]

"Who let the psychotic clown into my domain?" LD asked, as she met the Joker's gaze, unflinching.

Hiei glanced over at the Joker, his hand going for his sword hilt. LD raised a hand to him, signaling him not to bother.

She studied Joker carefully, her eyes scrutinizing him as she thought of an answer to give him. "There are other reasons that I'm not inclined to share."

[Prime Spinosaur]

"Is it boring?" asked Ulfr. "You look pretty bored, so I brought Monopoly!" He pulled out the board game from his trench coat, grinning with sharp teeth.

[Deleted]

"Psychotic? Why, I'm the sanest man there is." He shrugged, but ignored it. "Why can't you share, hm? I've been a steady supplier for your business long enough to know that death has no rules, no boundaries. There is only chaos."

"Enough." At that moment, a tall silhouette appeared in the darkest corner of the room. A man clad entirely in black seemed to glide into the room, and he crossed his arms with disgust. His black hair was combed back as well, pale skin given an almost bluish tinge in this light. Two cold blue eyes stared at him boldly.

"Well if it isn't the big bad Count Dracula himself! I say, this is awful far from Sesame Street, isn't it? Can't say I counted on you being here." The Joker pouted like a child, scowling at this new guest.

"You are a guest here, Joker. At the very least, you could show some respect to your host." The Count turned to Little Death and bowed his head with respect. "Much as I am loathe to admit it, he raises an interesting point. I'll admit, I too am curious as to your nature, and to the nature of Death itself. Is there any sense of order and structure to your...business? As someone who has defied the very process, I cannot help but ask you."

[Prime Spinosaur]

"Now this place is starting to feel more at home," said Ulfr with a smile, being a dark lord who surrounded himself with some of the worst villains in the multiverse, being away sometimes made the Black King...lonely. "I, as someone who in his home universe took down a fourth of the human popular, am also curious."

[Little Death]

"Jesus!" Kuwabara freaked, when Dracula appeared out of nowhere. He ended up jumping into Kurama's lap.
"Kuwabara..." Kurama said, sighing.
"Baka," Hiei grunted, as Yusuke snickered to himself. A quick glare from LD had them all quiet up.
"Well, well, well. My dearest Vlad!" LD said, hovering in the air for a moment before she lowered herself to the ground, walking over to him. "You've defeated Death more times than Yusuke has over there," she said, gesturing with her thumb.

"But as for your question...yes, there is a sense of order and structure to my duties. I don't just kill anyone, unlike some of us in this room," she stared right at the Joker, before continuing. "I simply collect the souls my father sends in his list."

[Deleted]

The Joker stuck out his tongue. "Poopy-faced doo-doo head..."

Dracula's eyes turned red as he gave a quick glare at the clown, but they became blue again as he looked back to his host. "I see. All the deaths that occur, they are scheduled for a specific time. Some are late, of course, and some never arrive at all. I'm "living" proof of that."

He writhed his fingers, his nails clicking against eachother, suddenly long and talon-like in the blink of an eye. "And you take the lives of innocents? Of good people, in their prime. People full of love and life. And meanwhile, evil men are allowed to linger long enough to plot attacks against said innocents over and over again."

The Joker giggled with delight. "I knew you were on my side, Count!"

Dracula gestured toward him as he spoke. "This man lives before us now, having taken enough lives to disgust the devil himself, yet children too young to commit any serious crime are killed every day. Why?"

[Little Death]

LD's facial expression did not change at all, despite the change in Dracula's demeanor. "You of all people have no right to be preaching to me about killing the innocent. How many humans have you and your hell wives taken, Vladimir?" LD asked.

She gestured to Botan, who came over almost unwillingly. It was obvious these two men creeped the blue-haired ferry girl out. She produced an orb in her hand and gave it to LD, before standing behind LD. LD, without taking her eyes off of her guests, flexed her fingers around the glowing orb. It expanded in size and then an hour glass appeared in her hand. She held it out to show them. "This here is the measurement of life for all creatures on this planet. As you can see, the sands of time are moving slowly in this particular hourglass, meaning that the creature whose soul is connected to this has quite the life to live. I can tell you right now that this creature is a twenty-two year old male. Judging by the speed of the sand, he may live to be eighty years old," as she spoke, the sands sped up. "Ah, now see this. The sands are moving quicker, meaning that he has done something just now that has sped up the process, making him lose ten years to his life."

The hourglass returned to the orb shape, and she gave it back to Botan. "As I have said, I collect the souls of the dead, and with the help of the ferry girls, we bring the souls to their respected places. I have no control on who goes, when they go, or how they go. That decision is solely on the shoulder's of my father."

[Prime Spinosaur]

When Dracula mentioned the devil getting disgusted he raised his hand, "Actually, I'm not disgusted." Then again, he wasn't the devil, he'd taken the roll in countless universes, but where he came from, the idea already existed.

He couldn't help agree with Dracula, starting out his life before being a reality warping dark lord as the son of a prostitute who watched the rest of his Transhuman race be killed by genocide. Thing, not a single Transhuman has lived passed eighteen.

The answer; he didn't like, but he knew better than to argue with death. One of the only good things Death did for him was kill off his mother who used him as a way to bring in pedophiles.

"Who is your daddy?"

[Deleted]

"If that is the case, then I have only saved them from your father's wrath. It is God and His followers who have slain their brothers and sisters like cattle, failing to realize that I am their savior."

Joker winced, and rubbed his arms. "That was cold."

"What of the emergency medical technician who revives someone after they've been dead for a few moments? Would you insult him too?"

Joker coughed, and mumbled to himself. "I'd fry his brains with the defibrillators, but that's probably just me."

The Count shook his head. "You've surely taken the souls of many a child to the afterlife. I once held a young girl in my arms, and watched her die. I promised her she would be alright, and I felt her soul leave her body. I practically felt it. From then on, when I made such a promise, I kept it. And you would call me a monster for that."

The Joker blinked. "Does anyone have a handkerchief I could borrow? I have something in my eye."

The Count let out a deep sigh. "Tell me one thing, Death...have you no soul? Or a heart? It is easy for your to say that I haven't such luxuries, but I assure you, despite my background, my humanity is very much intact."

[Little Death]

"Ah, yes. I remember that little girl. I took her soul when it left her body and guided her to the spirit realm, where she joined her family..." LD trailed off, looking into the distance, seeing another figure there that only she and Botan could see. Botan bowed her head respectfully to the being.

LD looked back at Dracula. "My father, or rather my creator, the Angel of Death himself, created me out of what I already was and made me into something more - this. This came with a price: I lost both my heart and my soul, though I can assure you that he has not taken either. He would not take my heart, nor claim ownership of my soul. Perhaps they are loss, and cannot be found ever again, but I have a feeling that they can be found."

[Deleted]

"On that day, perhaps you will see the world through eyes not unlike my own." With that, he backed into the shadows in the corner of the room, and vanished.

The Joker shrugged. "Well, if he wants to be a party pooper, fine by me. Guy was a bore anyway. Now, where was I..."

Before he could finish, there was a knock on the door from the outside. The Joker sighed. "Damn it, I had something funny to say, too..."

[Prime Spinosaur]

Ulfr wondered, "Would you say you'd like to one day be reunited with your soul and heart?"

He wondered if Prime hated him, Ulfr knew he'd been cheating death for billions of years, when he contracted that disease that increased his powers to near omnipotence, the problem was, the more he used his powers, the closer to death he'd become, so he began feeding off the souls of others, taking their life force to help fuel his. He also wondered if this death was different from the "death" from the universes he'd been to. After all, she'd made no references to the twelve gates. Starting from zero to eleven. The tenth being death and the eleventh being rebirth.

[Little Death]

LD looked over at Ulfr, her eyes going from forest green to pale white, and the skin melted from her bones, making her resemble the iconic image of the Grim Reaper that many associated with. She was getting quite irritated with these questions that focused upon the items she once lost. "Child, know you nothing? you do not question Death, you accept it."

She then heard the knock on the door, and her features returned back to normal, skin included. She clapped her hands, and gave a smile.
"Ah, someone with manners this time around. Do come in!" LD called out to her new, unknown guest...

[Deleted]

A rather large brown ape stood in the doorway. A red tie with the letters "DK" written on it in yellow was the only thing separating him from any other large ape of his species. He held in his hand an empty banana peel.

"Is this Q&A with Little Death? I have questions."

The Joker blinked. "You gotta be fuckin' kidding me."

[Prime Spinosaur]

Ulfr just frowned at that, a single eyebrow raised. It was an honest question he felt curious about. Ah well. He'd ask another time. He simply closed his eyes and listened in. He didn't feel like completing Prime's stupid paper, but maybe something interesting might come out of these questions.

[Little Death]

"Since when did you let primates into your home, LD?" Kuronue asked, standing behind Donkey Kong. He moved passed the ape and walked over to LD, and tilted her chin up. "You just came from a transformation, haven't you? Which of these ningen's annoyed you this time?" he asked.

"Hello, old friend," Youko Kurama greeted, looking up from the controller. He stood up and sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to him. "This would be her fourth quest. The third made the mistake of asking her about her heart and soul."

Kuronue looked at LD, who looked back at him. With a nod, he patted her cheek and walked over to join Youko.

Once he was situated, LD looked back at her newest guest. "Yes, this is the place."

[Deleted]

Donkey Kong walked in, and tossed the banana peel behind him onto the ground outside. The Joker sat on the floor and took a few teeth out of his pocket. He'd turned them into playing dice. "I'll just play Yahtzee until everyone else is done."

Once he was situated, Donkey Kong looked at LD with a raised eyebrow.

"You no look like Grim Reaper. Oh well. Why so many holes in the floor of the jungle? I fall in those many times. You got to know how not fun it is to die so often. You are Death after all."

[Little Death]

"Entertainment value," LD said, shrugging. She produced one of her scythes from thin air and sat on it like an oar, hovering in the air.

[Deleted]

"Of course it's for entertainment value." The Joker said as he moved a pair of threes off to the side, preparing to make his second roll.

"But why give Donkey Kong extra lives if you are only going to kill him again and again?" He scratched his head in confusion as he spoke, literally questioning everything he'd done with his life.

"For that matter, why give stupid red plumber extra lives so he can kill Donkey Kong?"

[Little Death]

"Quiet, Joker. I can easily have the sands in -your- hourglass sped up," LD threatened, before looking at Donkey Kong. "At the moment, I cannot give you a sufficient enough answer to your question."

[Deleted]

"Stupid red plumber doesn't even care about Pauline anyway. Loves fluffy pink princess. I don't know why he bothers." With that, he was content, but he stuck around out of boredom.

[Little Death]

LD floated over to where Ulfr was, still perched upon her scythe. "You look rather bored."

[Alastor]

A knock on LD's door was heard, "Hey Death? May I borrow some sug-" A voice said, before a small explosion destored the door with Alastor, Deadpool, and Laharal standing in front.
"-er?" Alastor said, his throught dry from the exsplodiness.
"Man I love doing that!" Deadpool interjected, the smile on his face being visable from his mask.

[Little Death]

LD's head snapped up and she glared at Deadpool. "You're paying for that," she then looked at Alastor, "Of course, dear. I have some," she said, floating over to where the kitchen was. "How much do you need?"

[Prime Spinosaur]

Dec 12, 2010 20:58:39 GMT -8 Little Death said:

LD floated over to where Ulfr was, still perched upon her scythe. "You look rather bored."

"Nah, just listening in," said Ulfr with a smile.

[Alastor]

"About a cup." Alastor replied. As he did, Laharl had atempted to steal one LD's sythes.
"Don't even try."