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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 2, 2011 13:29:49 GMT -8
^Yay plushie ! *hugs plushie*
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 2, 2011 13:47:24 GMT -8
@ Rei: Aww, Mark is cute! A grown-up him with a rainbow trenchcoat would be fun to draw... And Brian and Hugo are both wearing rainbow trenchcoats too. Right? @ Talys: Yay, I'm not the only one who triple-checks! xD You have a good point. She probably used her Sue powers to get everyone else to pack for her. Yeah, bubbly's a word! I'd say it suits his current state pretty well. When he was a full-powered Anti-Christ he was kind of a mix between arrogant and naive, but losing his magic and hanging out on Earth for awhile changed that. (Seriously though, I legit wonder about cat fur, too. My cat fascinates me because a single piece of fur will be multiple colors. And each one grows just right so that when the fur lays down, they form perfect stripes. I'm just like: HOW DO YOU DO THAT? Comet: =| Shut up and pet me, slave. Me: ...*pets*) Thanks for the info on Teddy, guys. My lack of Omen knowledge is starting to become a hindrance. ^^; I do wonder too though why poor Mark is the "villain" and Teddy doesn't seem to be. =(
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Post by WolfBloodRei on Oct 2, 2011 15:49:32 GMT -8
You're welcome. I only know what I've looked up and been told by Syrah and others who know of it. Teddy does have a cameo a few chapters from now, but he's more or less a BigLippedAligator. Never mentioned again.
Yes, I actually made Mark and Damien about 17 or 18 years old in Suepidemic, and yes Mark would look AWESOME in a rainbow trench.
And you know... That's funny, but I DID imagine Brian and Hugo next to him in rainbow trenchcoats, also >_> XD
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Chibithulhu
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Post by Chibithulhu on Oct 2, 2011 16:09:27 GMT -8
That would be the funniest and awesomest thing ever.
Cats are quite cute. Too bad I'm pretty allergic to them. But those musings on cat fur are far, far more entertaining than anything Ariana can ever write.
Seriously. Publish that book. YA novels with supernatural romances need more characters as awesomely bubbly as Luce.
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 3, 2011 0:34:12 GMT -8
I second Chibi here. You know, best thing is that some races of cats (like two of mine ^^) have actually different color on the very same hair. That's awesome, in my opinion. If anyone draws Mark and Brugo in rainbow trenchcoats they'll have my eternal gratitude Also, don't worry. Usually when Ariana rips off a Omen scene, it's pretty much a BLAM and the nonsense that is called the plot quickly dismisses it.
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Post by Anya the Purple on Oct 3, 2011 19:18:54 GMT -8
@chibi: OHMYGODYOUPOORBABY!!!!! *Hugs* I would just DIE if I was allergic to cats!
@publishing Puzzle's book: DEAR GOD YES. YA paranormal romances are SO ANNOYING these days. Unless it's Libba Bray writing. ^^
@rei: I can haz plushie too?
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 4, 2011 4:52:49 GMT -8
*is blushing like crazy* Awww, thank you for the vote of confidence, guys! I like to think my novels are maybe a third romance, and two-thirds plot/introspective stuff/etc. So it's wouldn't be entirely paranormal romance. I'm SO sick of the angsty lust crap that's being published and passed off as romance, so I'm trying to write nice plot-y stuff with fun characters and real love instead. (and it's all non-heteronormative. World needs more non-heteronormative books.) The one I'm writing for NaNo this year involves a zany character too. I love zany characters. x3 /self-centered chatter
@ Chibi: What Anya said! I would be so sad if I had bad cat allergies. D=
Sorry, no snark today guys. Gotta work the eight-hour shift. Hopefully a snark AND new Eden tomorrow to make up for it though. <3
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 4, 2011 9:54:44 GMT -8
(and it's all non-heteronormative. World needs more non-heteronormative books.) True. And as the slash goddess, it's your mission to make those books ! =) Omg, I had totally missed that ! Aw, Chibi, I'm so sorry for you ! I'm fine with that compromise ;D
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Chibithulhu
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Post by Chibithulhu on Oct 4, 2011 13:52:31 GMT -8
Eh, I'm used to it. I can see pictures of kitties!
You say that as though plot's a bad thing. Please, let it be a subplot, I'm sick of the Twilight model of nothing happening.
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 4, 2011 16:26:02 GMT -8
^ Huh? Oh no, I meant that as a good thing! I love plot. Plot and me are bros. I meant that even if I'm writing in the "paranormal romance" genre, romance wouldn't actually be the main purpose, the plot would be. So some people might not consider it paranormal romance, maybe they're label it paranormal or urban fantasy or something like that instead. Sorry, I was exhausted this morning when typing that, maybe I worded it wrong. xD I like there to be things happening. |3 Eden (and other long fanfics of mine) are pretty good indicators of how my original fiction works. Bits of romance building up over time, at least one over-arching plot/situation, at least a couple subplots hanging out, and at least one personal-character-past subplot.
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Post by Anya the Purple on Oct 4, 2011 17:43:52 GMT -8
^Which is pretty much EXACTLY what I like to read. Plus dystopia, which is present a little bit in Eden. So yay for that. Srsly though, your writing is teh shitz. In a good way.
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Chibithulhu
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Post by Chibithulhu on Oct 4, 2011 18:07:31 GMT -8
Yep. IT IS AWESOME!
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 5, 2011 1:47:18 GMT -8
Yes. You're awesome, Puzzle !
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 5, 2011 7:34:52 GMT -8
*squeaks* Guys, guys, you're all too sweet! I seriously want to hug each one of you and bake you all cakes of gratitude now. Words cannot even say. *glomps* <333
So uh, are we gonna do a snark or what?
You two snark. I'm going to sit here and hug these three. <3
She wants us to snark on our own?
Oh boy.
Enough with the bees already, you're making Puzzle scream every time she sees that word. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! Not you too... I can see why she does it. It's fun. =D BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS.
Shouldn't we be able to figure this out on our own as we read? My hopes are not high.
Ooh, this is going to be the money chapter! ...What's a money chapter? If it's anything like a money shot, that doesn't bode well for the rest of the fic.
Because asking the girl who she wants to marry is just so modern. This isn't fuckin 1700. Women don't have to marry. My sisters say marriage is for losers and men are only useful as playthings because they die too fast. ...Have I ever told you that your sisters are terrifying?
Wait. So if he marries her he becomes queen, but he can't become queen if she's alive. So if he going to marry her and then kill her? He wants to become the queen? That's actually entirely feasible here in South Beach. Or he could go to Key West. I ain't here to judge.
My thoughts exactly!
To justice? Did Damien commit a crime?
Why does it look like she just banged her head into the keyboard here? Because that's probably what she did.
He jumped out of the room. How? Don't ask me. Aro must spend a lot on roof repairs.
He is not going to be happy about that.
How do humans send only their eyes to school? I'll have to ask Jason. I highly doubt he'll be able to answer that.
Why are you calling him Danny?!
Wow. She really is a huge wimp, isn't she? A woman named Alberto? Yet another entirely common thing in South Beach. Wait. IS THAT WHERE THIS FIC IS SET? DDDDD= I don't want these weird people near us!
Did he just read her mind to get the answer? More likely that second line is supposed to be Ariana talking.
Mark is here! Hi Mark!
Ariana wants to be with her. And the plot thickens.
YES. PREACH IT. FUCKING PREACH IT. Oh hi Puzzle, you're done hugging? Oh no. Still hugging. The volume of my rage was loud enough to reach you. Carry on.
BEEEEES...and Damien's kind of a dick. You said it.
Thank goodness. The poor ground has more than enough to worry about besides you hurting it!
Did that make any sense to you? Not really. Who's Bill?
Not the flour! No! I was going to use that to make more cake! It's okay Luce. We'll get new flour. Nobody will want Sue-tainted cake.
Or you could, you know, tell Bill not to come with you to the ice rink. Just a thought.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't she already told him she loves him?
...Fart the same way. |D I hope they do, too. Maybe their flatulence will propel them away from us.
...YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN CHARACTER'S AGE. If she is twelve, isn't that too young to be making out in human years anyway? Generally. Unless you're a Meyerpire halfbreed, then at age seven it's A-okay. Maybe Ariana aged slightly differently from Renesmee. How do you know all this? I sell clothes to women. It's all some of them can talk about.
Or maybe Mark just wants to hang out with his friend/cousin/adopted brother/whatever the hell they are.
What exactly defines a grape idea? How can I tell if an idea is a grape or a mango idea?
First of all, no. Second of all, you already told us that a few chapters ago. Third, what's with the angry face? Hi guys, I'm back. What did I miss? I'm having an apple idea! No wait. It's a peach idea. Definitely peach! >.> ...Okay?
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Chibithulhu
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Post by Chibithulhu on Oct 5, 2011 10:05:58 GMT -8
Yay! Hugs! *Is happy*
... Yeah. This is a confusing, confusing fic. Maybe "alive" only refers in this context to "more human than vampire", even though the half-breeds in this universe are sorta... whatever-they-ares?
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 5, 2011 11:29:26 GMT -8
Aww, hugs ! *hugs back. And hugs Luce and Joseph too, 'cause they're awesome*
Don't worry, guys, it takes place in Chicago. I think it was mentioned in passing in the beginning, or maybe later ? I don't remember. As for the "flashback"… It was no flashback. I do wonder why Damien takes it so easily that Ariana apparently saw the future, though.
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 5, 2011 11:38:02 GMT -8
^ Oh good. xD And really, that flashback was actually a flashforward. Not that it was handled very well as a plot device anyway. >.<
@ Chibi: Seriously, I'm confused. Are Ariana's vampires related to SMeyer's? They must be if Edward and Aro are involved. But she doesn't seem to be following any of SMeyer's canon. At the same time, I seem to recall her saying that she stopped growing. =| I'M CONFUSED.
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 5, 2011 11:46:03 GMT -8
^Officially, she's exactly like Renesmee — a half vampire, the vampire father being Aro. And she stopped growing when she recently turned fifteen at the beginning of the fic. Which means the comment about her age in this chapter is a complete "fuck you" to the concept of continuity. Now, in truth, she really isn't. It's like Ariana forgets she's supposed to be anything but a damsel in distress.
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Chibithulhu
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Post by Chibithulhu on Oct 5, 2011 12:26:21 GMT -8
She's supposed to be anything but a damsel in distress? You really think so? Oh, you naive fool.
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 6, 2011 0:50:36 GMT -8
^I misspoke, I guess. What I meant is, she's supposed to be a damsel in distress, but also a God mode Sue. She forgets about that last part ^^
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 8, 2011 11:44:22 GMT -8
Here's chapter five! This fic...I don't know what to say about this fic anymore. It's boring and it's insane, at the same time. I don't even want to continue with it. But I struggle on! In spite of utterly unlikeable characters and a desire to spend my time at more interesting endeavors, like endlessly scrolling through tumblr or writing slash, I march ahead! I do not turn away at the signs of exhaustion or brain melting! I...and I'm out of steam.
*shovels more potato chips in my mouth* Ahh, empty calories, give me the strength to persevere.
On with the snarking.
I'm really >D about it, myself. What are we revowing? Did we make vows earlier? I missed it!
Actually no, you don't. Which is totally fine with me. What vows should I make? I don't want mine to be copies of everybody else's. D=
You don't want my reviews. Trust me. I hope Bill's gonna be okay.
Honestly I'm surprised she even knows what mauve is. Why is she saying her boots are ugly? No, Luce, that's a brandname. Oh. I'll ask Seph about it. *prances away* Speaking of Joseph, where is he, anyway? *lying on the couch with headphones on* Seeeeeph. We're snarking! And what are Uggboots? *turning up the volume on his mp3 player* "Shh. I'm in my happy place." *returns* He's listening to Pink Floyd. We'd might as well snark without him, then. He'll be enveloped in lyrical awe for the rest of the day.
You look like a clown in my imagination now. That's scary.
She has her very own bard? Then why is her writing so terrible? Damn good question.
...
Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the baffled silence that occurs when two aces stare at the screen wordlessly after they are presented with a terribly written near-sex scene.
Back to your regularly scheduled snarking.
Was he...watching them this whole time? Creeper alert!
As a reward for nothing! This is the most truthful suefic I've ever read. Most of them would create a contrived reason of some sort. I admire Ariana for telling it like it is.
How do you mutter in all caps? I get the feeling Ariana threw a handful of adjectives, verbs and adverbs into a hat and she just picks them at random.
Did she kiss Damien or the Sergeant? Do we really care? Not really.
It's really too bad Joseph decided to sit this chapter out. I think he would enjoy a music chapter. Seph! They're going to a concert! All in all it's just a...nother brick in the wall. ...Got it. We'll just leave you alone then.
Why is it that I find the idea of an entire military academy being excited about Evanescence terribly amusing?
This is actually really sad. D= I want to give Mark a hug! I'll give him one! *hugs him*
I...I don't think concerts work that way.
I'm not what I could call an Evanescence fan, but I do rather enjoy some of its music, and feel very bad for the band for being portrayed in this fic.
When Seph and I went to a nightclub to dance, there were no mooses there. Is that normal?
How unfortunate.
I really really ship them right now. Ooh, Seph likes this song! I'm going to tell him it's playing! *distantly* SHE'S WHAT?! Oh, here comes the rage bus. THIS CHICK IS SERIOUSLY EXPLOITING EVANESCENCE? WHY DOES EVERY FUCKING WANNABE-EDGY WRITER ON THE INTERNET DO THIS. WHY? FUCKING HYPOCRITES PROBABLY CAN'T NAME A SINGLE NON-RADIO-PLAY SONG THEY HAVE. And that's why Seph threw my computer out the window.
I will kill you and your unborn children, Ariana. Does nobody besides me find this kind of awesome? Ariana is being told off by Amy Lee in front of the whole school. I think it's awesome!
Okay, the concert scene is over. *duct-taping headphones over his ears* Return to my happy place, return to my happy place...Music seems to help the pain...
Isn't it obvious?
I really, really, really want to give him a hug. And ship them. At the same time.
Lasers humming each other? Why does that sound dirty?
Damien is yelling at himself. People do that a lot in suefics that are always changing POV.
Okay, a miniscule point to Ariana. She did just have a very public (and very well-deserved, but still) prank played on her. I can see why she'd be upset to find herself left alone after that.
She has four heads. =| I don't know what to say either.
Wait, what? What does the whistling have to do with anything? I'm so confused! So am I!
Lolwut. They're walking down the hall? As friends? SO WAIT, ARE THEY ACTUALLY PLOTTING AGAINST ARIANA TOGETHER AFTER ALL? Because that would be awesome.
What I find so odd is that she clearly is able to write Mark as a sympathetic character. Obviously he's lonely and upset to lose his family and friend. But how can Ariana write it like that and still claim Mark is the bad guy? What kind of disconnect does that take in the brain?
How do you bow a wtf? Please stop asking questions I can't answer.
Hey Aro, can I just ask you a question real fast? WHO THE FUCK NAMES THEIR KID THAT?
He's very happy about being Edward Cullen. Poor guy doesn't know what he's getting into, being that role.
HEY WAIT A MINUTE. BILL WASN'T EVEN IN THIS CHAPTER. Why doesn't she just go warn him not to go skating? I don't even know.
I can think of a lot of things. You ignore and belittle him constantly. You brainwashed his friend and family into hating him. You get angry and yell at him when he hasn't done anything wrong. You brainwashed your family into grounding him from his own birthday party. D= Seph, anything you want to add? There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship, smoke on the horizon... And on that note, back to writing Eden. /o/
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Chibithulhu
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Post by Chibithulhu on Oct 8, 2011 13:49:59 GMT -8
That's why I think Evanescence can sense Sue by now. They just play along and then set bombs on the Sue's overly-described clothing.
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 8, 2011 15:24:45 GMT -8
Heh, I had my own rant about how Amy Lee was actually mocking Ariana, so I agree with you. And yes, Mark and Damien, fighting on the ground, "lasers humming at each other" ? Sounds dirty to me too. Oh, you got it. Mark and Damien are plotting in secret against the Sue. I dig that theory.
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Post by WolfBloodRei on Oct 8, 2011 20:43:52 GMT -8
Awesome. Keep marching on, Puzzle! You can do it!
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Post by Anya the Purple on Oct 9, 2011 6:20:48 GMT -8
Puzzle, you are a baver soul than I for making it this far. *Salutes* I commend you, friend. Also MOAR EDEN YAYZ.
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Hlessi-Roo
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Post by Hlessi-Roo on Oct 10, 2011 12:58:30 GMT -8
You know what Puzzle? I'm going to draw a plushie Mark in a rainbow trenchcoat, get it onto my computer somehow, and put it up for you guys. Just because you're all awesome. It may be a low-quality picture and not very well drawn, but I'll do it.
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 10, 2011 13:27:38 GMT -8
^Me want Mark plushie =)
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 10, 2011 16:58:22 GMT -8
HLESSI I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. I love all you guys forever of course. <3 But Hlessi might get an eensy bit more of my love for that fanart because c'mon. Mark plushie. Rainbow trenchcoat. YES PLEASE.
And I will thank you all with a new snark tomorrow hopefully as long as the world doesn't implode or anything. xD
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PuzzleChick
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Post by PuzzleChick on Oct 11, 2011 7:57:23 GMT -8
Time to snark chapter whatever-the-hell this one is! I guess chapter six. I'm snarking with some new partners today. NaNoWriMo officially starts in 20 days and I need to start getting into character for it. So joining me today are Reed and Alistair. (Both pieces of art were commissioned during the Help Japan fandom auction.) You might remember Reed as being the one who whacked Joan in the head with a crowbar in the Brewdening Love meme. Feel free to introduce yourselves, guys. Hi internet people! I'm Reed.And I'm Alistair. You can call me Al.I am home from stealing cars and I am looking so fabulous and also I am wearing a padlock as a necklace because it's ironic....=D?I'm not playing along with your silly internet memes.You're no fun.This chapter is sexy? Yay!...Did she EVER go to school?Why does she want us to show her the next chapter? She should be writing that herself.I don't want there to be a next chapter.Why should we be concerned about this?We shouldn't be. Mark is awesome and doesn't afraid of anything. He's probably someplace happy and Sue-free where everyone wears rainbow trenchcoats. I WANT A RAINBOW TRENCHCOAT.You're both jerks. WE know that Mark is safe, but you guys should legitimately be concerned about him! That doesn't even make any sense.RAINBOW TRENCHCOAT. I WANT. NOW.I'm sorry, but no charity in the world would actually want those two. I WANT A-- Wait a second. Ariana is Kong?!No she's not, she's just an idiot.I wish someone would correct this girl a little more often.Al, put down the red pen, I'll be very upset if you get ink all over my laptop. But...but...THE ERRORS. Must...fix...!I'm sorry, not even I could pull off a color combination like that.Thank goodness she never posted the picture. Her art is hideous enough without ugly clothes.No thank you. Google Images gave my computer a virus twice. Why are they going over the rules of the road? They're going skating, not driving! Oh, have we reached the sexy part of the chapter? It sounds like it! I approve.Skart?A combination of skate and fart? Sounds more like he's saying he wants a skirt.You would assume that, wouldn't you.I've been skating before. NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY FUCKING SENSE.I think she means that there was a crack in the ice and there was a warning cone over it.How did you figure that out?!I speak troll. >)All of this ignoring, of course, the fact that if the ice is cracked NOBODY SHOULD BE SKATING IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's not a law so much as a warning, but whatever. Earlier he was being a voyeur and getting off on watching two guys make out. Now he's playing with Bill. This really is a sexy chapter....Wut.Bill is going to die?Yeah, she had a vision of him dying at the ice rink. THEN WHY DOESN'T SHE TELL HIM?Because she's already done her one good deed for the day, of course. So she's willfully withholding information that would save a life.That's not sexy at all.It doesn't have to be Bill's destiny to die! D=She...she got off on pain and the fact that Bill will die?THIS IS THE MOST UNSEXY CHAPTER EVER.I have no words. Me either.I have too many to know which one to say first.I'm guessing it would be more like 'in terror.' Richard disappeared under the water? How did he end up under the water?I can answer that!Please don't.They're...pleasuring...the ice.Have I mentioned how extremely not-sexy this chapter has been yet?Current?! Are they skating on a river?!On second thought these people are all idiots and deserve to drown. Darwinism at work.NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE. This is the worst-written action scene ever.HOLD THE FUCK UP. Bill is dead. Why is he serving cocoa?I suspect they all died when the ice cracked and are now in the afterlife. Or maybe they're all in comas.Oh ho, stroked your buck, huh? ;DWhere did Paul come from?! Who even is Paul? I give up trying to make any sense of this.Actually Bill was in fine health. He only died because you let him go skating and let him fall through the ice.If you're dumb enough to stay with a girl who knows when people will die but doesn't try to protect them, maybe you deserve it.That must be some pretty epic cocoa. Either that or they're mixing something else in with it. Necrophilia too?! This really IS an unsexy chapter!I suspect most people go to the bathroom for similar reasons. It's not sick, it's just biology.YOU ARE QUITE CORRECT ABOUT THAT.You can't be a queen and a princess at the same time. She sure is a show-off, the way she waves that title around.She's a Sue. It's her MO. IHOP unenjoyed?That's good, I'd be sad if IHOP had endorsed this monstrosity.>.> This fic gets worse with every single chapter, I swear. Erinnnn, come back and bring us some truly good lulz, I'll make it all up to you!
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Post by Talys Alankil on Oct 11, 2011 10:25:46 GMT -8
^Yeah, there's a part in this chapter where you should just turn your brain off.
And I agree, I want to trade Ariana for Erin. If only…
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