reynard
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Post by reynard on Feb 23, 2013 18:59:51 GMT -8
^Yeah, if a bit naive. I had this scene in mind where after you convince her to join, she goes to get some things, and the party walks out of her house (in the trailer, the exterior can be scene at 0:56 to 1:00) and comes face to face with guards, and then the Pea Princess comes out, shooting a guard's weapon out of his hand, screaming curses at them for tricking her and firing rapidly, even some elemental shots, all while the trained soldiers run away with their tales between their legs. Although I'm not sure yet why she has a pair of guns on her, but I'll figure it out. Oh, and look at the video at 1:41. Those are Beasts. The two on the side are Young Beasts, and the one in the middle is an adult Beast, or just called a Beast. The two Young Beasts are level 18, and the Beast is level 25. I know that because I recorded every single combination of enemies in that desert area, of which there were four. And the max level is 20. Also, take a look at 205. THAT is Vincent the Terrible, head Beast, secret boss, holder of the best sword ever, and LEVEL 35! Look at the damage he did, with ONE attack. Pardon me while I go off on a slight rant. If you could compare types of enemies to military forces, the Beast type enemies would be the tanks. They have high HP, incredible strength, the ability to attack multiple targets with heavy blows, good resistance to status effects (I think, this game is so glitchy it's hard to tell) and are armed with a vampire spell (does damage and allows caster to gain HP equal to a percentage of that damage) and a Dream Eater spell, which steals DP.
They go up to level 25, and Vincent makes them all look like chumps. His level is, again 35, his HP is an estimated 70,000, and he absorbs holy and dark based attacks. He has claw moves that are elemental and hit everybody, like Dark Claw, Holy Claw, Fire Claw (which can cause burn), Ice Claw (which can cause freeze), a non-elemental Multi-Claw move, a single target Super Claw move, a healing spell that gives back 28,000 HP, a vampire spell, a dream eater spell, a medusa spell (causes petrify which freezes a character and counts them as KO, and doesn't wear off over time like freeze), a comet spell, and an empty mind spell (blocks spell casting), and maybe more. And to get to him you have to go through maps populated by basically 99% beasts. Okay, rant over. Sorry about that. Anyway, the last character you add to the party in game is the Big Bad Wolf. He's the character with perhaps the least backstory. You add him to the party because the next potion ingredient is a red apple from the tree in the Zzz Forest, and you need a keen nose to guide you through it. So you have to get him at the "Bad Wolves Guild" in Halloween City, where you couldn't enter before. He automatically knows that the Witch Superior sent them, and joins the party right away. I always wondered if the Morgan notified him ahead of us by spell mail or something. He is much like Hook, a pure melee fighter. His HP is phenomenally high, being naturally 1870 at max level, before enhancements, as compared to the others at 1420, 1690, 1315, 1040, and 1250. His DP is the lowest, being 57 WITH a 75% increase. He's also the second fastest, with a speed of 74. Alan's the fastest at 76. His armor is basically a collar, though it always looks like skin, which gives me bad images. In my mind, I would think he'd wear body armor if he was so intent on armor at all. Have you ever seen He-Man? His cat, Battle Cat, wore armor over his back and head. It was more impressive in the 2003 show. That's what I think Wolf would wear if he wanted armor. Wolf's "weapon" is a "fang" technically, but it always looks like paws. So what we've got is a fast, strong close ranger that rips enemies to pieces, like a real wolf. Real wolves are built for stamina too. I really don't have much in the way of ideas. I wanted to name him Reginald, after the wolf in FTT Red Riding Hood. Also, he's the same wolf from both Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs. Several Fairy Tale adaptations like to merge characters, and that makes sense. It reduces the total character list. I didn't really want to complicate the stories any further personally, but I think here it works. I am replacing the Bad Wolf Guild with a bar because while a witch guild makes sense, that doesn't. A guild was there to train people in a specific trade, the early form of unions. The idea that there is a "Bad Wolf Guild" to...train wolves to be bad wolves... is so utterly silly I refuse to use it. It's right up there with Were-Bushes, which I will call living bushes, because I am NOT having a man that turns into a bush. No way. In the game, Wolf is also strangely an earth elemental. He naturally gains health from earth based attacks, no matter what the elemental resistance is on his armor. And the game never mentions that ever, just like how they never said Jack was a dark elemental in the same way, and his best weapon was a dark element weapon. The only explanation for that I could think of is that maybe one of the rocks Red Riding Hood stuffed in his belly was an Earth Bubble. But that's pretty much as far as I got. I don't know why he's a good guy at this point in the game. His starter weapon also says "werewolf" fang, but I was thinking of just leaving him as a talking wolf. And in FTT's Red Riding Hood, the wolf was a loner who was rejected by his pack because he ate a little boy, and desperately hungry (and despicable, and played by Malcom McDowell. I wasn't sure if I wanted to use that or some variation of it. What do you think so far? Any ideas?
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reynard
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Post by reynard on Feb 28, 2013 9:08:36 GMT -8
The question was more why he's a good guy at this point in time. I figured he would still be the bad guy in those tales.
I'm not really sure about the waxing/waning idea, but the "anti-hero repenting for his crimes" suggestion did give me a few ideas.
Like I said before, in the game, Wolf's "armor" is a collar. It's rather silly if you wanted to go for battle armor, and then I thought, "why would a sentient wolf need a collar anyway? It's not like it's much in the way of clothing."
So, what if that collar is like prison ID? Like he's been in prison for the things he's done? I had this image in my head, of Red Riding Hood visiting the wolf in prison.
And since you mentioned his race being cursed, I got another idea. Let's say that the race of sentient wolves that Reginald belongs to are werewolves of a sort. I'm sure there are wolf-man hybrids somewhere too, but whatever. Let's say that they ARE cursed. They are cursed because of the actions of King Lycaon (taken from the classic story).
King Lycaon was supposed to entertain the Sandman, or at least one of his great mages. Part of the food was human meat (why that was, I am not sure, help?) and for that Lycaon was turned into a wolf, and so all his children after him were sentient wolves.
If Reginald killed and ate a human, that might explain why his pack kicked him out. Since cannibalism is the reason they are wolves, perhaps it's taboo in their society.
And if the wolf were caught by Red Riding Hood, putting him in prison makes sense. I mean, since he's a sentient creature in a very odd society, I would think Red and her family would have called the cops.
Now as for the Three Little Pigs, I would rather they not die. In FTT, the wolf, played by Jeff Goldbloom, was rather dim, and the first two pigs got away by hiding in the wreckage. And as for Red Riding Hood...I'm not really sure. If you hadn't guessed, I am rather averse to killing when I rewrite these fairy tales, and deal with classic fairy tales characters.
But like I said, this image flashed in my mind of the Red Riding Hood visiting the wolf in prison, so, maybe he killed her grandmother? Maybe she's trying to make peace with her grief? And why exactly did Reginald turn to eating humanoids? I had this thought that maybe humans killed his family.
When I see the image of Red and the wolf, I just imagine her staring at the thing that murdered her grandmother, and almost killed her. And I wonder, what is it like when those two interact? What is is like for her? Why does she keep visiting him, and what do her visits mean to Reginald?
Do those sound like good ideas so far?
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reynard
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Post by reynard on Mar 9, 2013 13:16:18 GMT -8
You're right about the lack of control, I need to do something. And as for Red, I figured she was sort of facing down her demons, since the whole event was rather traumatic for her, or something like that.
Thinking about it some more, I have an idea. What if Reginald was on drugs? No, seriously. Yeah, it sounds weird at first, but how can you call something weird when you have a pumpkin-headed man for a main character?
Anyway, let's say that Reginald is 20 years old for right now. In this world, the sentient wolves have the same lifespan as a human, because I want them to. Reginald is one of the biggest, strongest, toughest wolves around. And he had a family, a wife and pups. That family was killed by angry humanoids. He tracked them down of course, and afterwards, while he held no animosity towards all humanoids, he was rather lost in grief, and wanted to forget the tragedy that was his life.
Now let me break off to talk about a particular Dream Bubble from the game, the Chaos Bubble. This bubble cured and inflicted the chaos status. It made the target act uncontrollable and totally random. They could attack enemies, friends, or themselves. A few times allies would give healing items to enemies. And while in this story that bubble doesn't exist (I rather felt it useless), the item that inflicted chaos (also in the game) does exist.
The item was called a Mind Drug, complete with a whirling multicolored icon that made me think the 60s. I modeled its effects after the game, and a real drug, PCP. The mind drug (I probably need a new name) is a hallucinogen. It causes euphoric sensations, but has a number of side effects. Behavior can vary from quiet spaciness to being loud and violent. Chronic use slowly degrades the user's physical and mental health, though most rarely get to that stage. And most rarely take lethal amounts. Actually, most deaths occur not because of the ingested substance, but because of what those people do while it's working.
Reginald, being in the athletic shape that he was in, was much more tolerant, and didn't actually start feeling the health affects until the point of the Red Riding Hood tale. This erratic behavior explains his sudden attack on Red (named Mary)'s grandmother. He took another one of those things and hallucinated that she was one of the people that killed his family. The grandmother had actually let him in out of pity, since he really looked like a wreck.
This also explains some things in the earlier events of the Three Little Pigs. After all, isn't it odd that he threatens to blow down the house, instead of tearing it down with his claws? I suppose it's a sign of strength, and houses 1 and 2 were terribly built, but he still threatens to blow down the brick house. Maybe he thought it was also badly built. In any case, Reginald still does it, because he's still in good shape then, despite being on the mind drugs for a while. And it also explains how the pigs could escape in the wreckage without the wolf smelling them at all.
Is that good? Sorry for the delay, homework took up my time. And I'm also working on chapter 2 of my story, so I hope to post it here soon.
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reynard
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Post by reynard on Mar 16, 2013 8:31:58 GMT -8
I apologize for the double post. But I think I've finished typing up chapter 2, finally. So here it is.
Chapter 2: The Land of Dreams
The whole world was chaos. Everything around him was a spiraling vortex of colors and sounds, and he was being pulled by forces too strong to resist. He heard the voices of his friends in the distance, but he couldn't see them amongst the sea of light and motion around him. Everything in this funnel of light was leading to sensory overload. There were flashes of lightning, the roar of thunder, burning heat, freezing cold, pleasant smells of flowers and the stench of rotten plants. Alan was spinning around so much, he was afraid he would start flying apart.
And then came the sudden stop. Alan groaned as he sat up. His hands made contact with grass. He opened his eyes, and stared in confusion. This wasn't Dr. Azure's house, or his neighborhood. For one thing, it was day time, and he had to shield his eyes from the sun. For another, he was facing what looked like the gate of an enormous gray castle. He looked up to see the points of the gate above, and above that was a shield with the image of a grinning Jack O' Lantern and a starry sky. His candy bag lay next to him, as did his mask. Where was he? And where were his friends?
"HEY! You there! Stay where you are!"
Alan jumped, turning to face the tip of a spear, before falling over onto the floor. The man holding it at him was dressed in armor, with the chest part colored purple and bearing a grinning Jack O' Lantern. His scarred face was set into a grimace.
"Who are you?" he growled, continuing to point his spear at the boy.
"I-"
The man with the spear glanced over at his bag of spilled candy, and his eyes narrowed. He glared once again at Alan, before pressing the spear closer to the boy. "Get up," he said.
"But I," Alan tried to say, but the guard just grabbed him firmly by the arm and pulled him to his feat, twisting the arm behind Alan's back.
"I said get up. You're our prisoner and you'll do as I say. GUARDS!"
Two other men dressed in the same armor came out of the castle before stopping to salute.
"Sergeant Crane?"
"This boy is an intruder in the palace. You two will help me escort him to a cell in the dungeon. And pick up that bag he was carrying."
Alan could only wince in pain from the man's grip, which only tightened when Alan tried to say anything. The guards gathered up his bag and marched him inside and down the hall. The floors within were covered in a red and gold carpet, and as they walked, they passed statues of knights and other creatures, paintings, suits of armor, and more images of that strange Jack O' Lantern. And all the while Alan stayed silent, lest he face more pain or potentially have his arm ripped out of its socket. But what on earth was going on? Could this have been some sort of prank? Some sort of dream?
He was taken down a flight of stairs before being shoved into a waiting cell. The older, rougher guard that Alan now knew as Sergeant Crane, turned to his two companions. "You two stay here and guard the prisoner. We can't take any chances here. You'll stay here until I give the word, and don't talk to him either. I'll take this," he said, taking Alan's bag of Halloween spoils, "for examination. Understood?"
The two guards nodded silently, and Sergeant Crane walked off up the stairs, leaving Alan alone with the two soldiers. Alan could only slump down on the cell's wooden bench and wonder how in the world he got into this mess.
It had been almost two hours. The two other guards that had been left in front of the cell had done as they were told and hadn't spoken a word to Alan all the while, even when Alan tried to ask them where he was. They just stood there, occasionally moving away to eat or drink at a nearby table. But they never went out of sight.
What was going to happen to him? And what happened to Peter, Juseppes, and Cecil? Obviously that strange light had separated them. So how far away were they? Or were they even all together? And how had he ended up at a castle?
Alan's musing was cut short when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Sergeant Crane had returned. He nodded at the guards, who left the dungeon. Sergeant Crane unlocked the door before motioning for Alan to follow.
"Where are you taking me?" Alan asked tentatively, hoping the man wouldn't twist his arm again. It was still hurting from the first time.
But the older man refused to answer. He just kept walking behind Alan an prodding him forward up the stairs an down the hall. Finally they stopped before a large set of wooden doors. They looked big enough to stop a cannon. Cran opened one of the doors. "Inside, now."
Alan walked in only to be met with a pitch black room. He turned to talk to the guard, but the door simply slammed shut. "HEY!" he yelled back. He heard the door lock. "Hey, what are you doing? I can't see a thing in here!"
Something moved behind him. Alan whirled around to find the source of the noise. "Hello? Who's there?"
"So you're the intruder, are you?"
Who said that? Where were they? Alan's eyes darted around, trying to find whoever was talking to him.
"Rather young, but then again I suppose I shouldn't put it past Geppetto to recruit children." The voice was deep, but sounded cultured. And there was an undercurrent of anger in it. But where was it coming from? The room seemed to echo, making it hard to tell. There were more sounds, squeaks and groans and other things that kept Alan on edge.
"Who are you?" said Alan.
"I?" asked the voice. There was a snap, and suddenly there was light in the room. Alan could see torches on the walls, burning low, dispelling some, but not all, of the darkness. Wisps of smoke floated up to Alan's face, and he looked down to see a large cloud forming on the floor in front of him.
"What the heck?!" He moved back as the mass of smoke grew larger, twisting and curving with a life of its own. Lights erupted from it, three of them, shining out like beacons, forming what looked like a screaming face carved out of the air. He could even hear a low wail as the thing increased in size. Alan continued to walk in reverse until he felt the wall touch his back. The smoke finally took shape, and in a moment, a very tall figure stood before Alan, glaring down at him. The boy's legs gave out, sending him to the floor, but that just made the person, if he could call it a person, seem all the larger. If Alan had to guess, he would say he, it, was six feet four inches tall. And he was dressed in all black, with long, strong looking arms crossed over his chest.
But the head, the head was what terrified Alan the most. Everything else looked human in shape, but the head was a giant Jack O' Lantern, one that glared down at him with glowing eyes, and whose mouth was fixed in a tight grimace. And then it did what no simple carved pumpkin or even a mask should have been able to do. It moved it's mouth.
"I am King Jack O' Lantern, ruler of this place. But since it is you who have intruded into my palace, I think I shall be the one to ask the questions, and you shall supply the answers. Do you understand me boy?" The pumpkin-man continued to glare down at him. "Now tell me, how did Geppetto send you here? And what were you trying to accomplish? Were you trying to slip poisoned candies into the stock for the Candy Harvest Festival? You should be aware that we've sent those candies you had for examination, so if that was you're plan, we'll soon know."
"I, I wasn't trying to poison anyone! I don't even know where I am! Who's Geppetto?"
Jack simply grabbed the boy by the shoulder and pulled him to his feet, before bending down to look him in the eyes. Alan could see the flames dancing in his eye sockets, growing ever more violent in their movements, and he could feel the heat on his face.
"Don't lie to me. It won't do you any good at this point. What did he promise you? Money? Power? Gifts? Whatever his deal was, you made a grave error in accepting it, but if you talk now, you will be shown leniency."
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
Jack just continued to glare, his voice growing ever louder. "Sergeant Crane saw you fall before the entrance to my castle from a vortex of magic. I highly doubt that you would know nothing about that. Now I suggest you start talking because while I am averse to harming children, my patience is wearing thin and I am inclined to make exceptions in this case."
"I DON"T KNOW!" Alan cried, before crumpling to the ground again, his body shaking like a leaf in a storm, and his eyes stinging with tears for the time in he didn't know how long. "I don't know anything. I don't even know where I am. All I know is that I was trick-or-treating with my friends and we opened a door, and now I'm here and they're not, and Jack O' Lanterns can't move like that, and I just want to go home!"
There was silence for a time, while Alan sobbed into the carpet. Then Alan felt Jack knelling beside him.
"You're from Earth, aren't you?"
His voice was soft this time, gentle, with a hint of astonishment. But Alan didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to be here, in this terrible place.
The pumpkin-man gave a long sigh before Alan felt the light touching his eyelids increase, and the sound of blinds moving reached his ears. And then Alan felt a hand on his back.
"Don't hurt me, please."
"I'm not going to hurt you, not anymore. You don't need to be afraid."
Jack helped him up, and Alan saw the room again. The torches were out, but the windows were open, letting the sun illuminate everything. He was in a throne room. Jack pointed to the many chairs that faced the throne.
"Sit down here, you'll be more comfortable."
After Alan sat down, he looked at the throne across from him. It was mostly black, with pieces of orange, and had the same grinning pumpkin carved into it's back. Jack sat down beside him.
"It seems that I have made a rather large mistake. Tell me, what's your name?"
Alan saw the more pleasant expression on his face and took it as encouragement. "My name's Alan."
"And how old are you Alan?"
"I'm thirteen" he said. And he paused before he continued. "If you don't mind my asking, what's going on here?"
"I apologize for the theatrics," said Jack. "But Sergeant Crane was under the impression that you were a threat, understandable considering how you arrived. We thought that if we frightened you a bit it would throw you off guard and make it easier to get you to talk."
Okay, that seemed made sense. But it still didn't explain how Alan was talking to a man with a pumpkin for a head. Or how he ended up at a castle.
"So where am I?"
"You are in the Land of Dreams. Specifically, you are in Halloween City, capital of the Halloween Kingdom, on the western continent."
Whatever fragments of understanding Alan had were lost to the wind at that point. "The Land of Dreams? Where's that?"
"The Land of Dreams is a world separate from that of Earth. It was forged from the power gathered from the dreams of the people of Earth, particularly the dreams of children, such as yourself."
"So I'm in some sort of dream world?"
"Correct."
Alan got up from the chair and walked around. This was too crazy. People just didn't get pulled into dream worlds like this, not outside of books or movies or cartoons. And yet, there was no other explanation for the fact that he was sitting here, in a castle, talking to a man with a pumpkin for a head. And he definitely wasn't just dreaming. The pain from his arm being twisted behind his back was far too real for that. But if he was here, that just left one question.
"But how did I even get here?"
Jack just kept his eyes, or rather, eye sockets, or whatever they were, locked on Alan. "Yes, I was wondering about that myself. Would you mind telling me what you remember before you ended up here?"
So Alan told him the story, what there was of it. He told him about how he, Peter, Juseppes, and Cecil had been trick-or-treating, about the light in Dr. Azure's house, and the vacuum force that pulled them in, and the chaotic lights around him before he landed. The whole time Alan talked, Jack just sat there, listening intently, only stopping Alan briefly a handful of times for more details. By the end of it, Jack seemed to be lost in thought. At least that was Alan's guess. Even if Jack's face moved something like a human, it was still hard for the boy to tell exact facial expressions on someone whose face was carved out of a pumpkin.
"I see. It would appear that you and your friends got caught up in some form of interdimensional portal magic and you must have been separated by the instability factor inherent in the theory of portal transportation."
Whatever that had meant, Alan hadn't understood a word. "Huh?"
Jack's face widened in realization. "Oh, right, you're not from here. I was just hypothesizing on your means of travel. Would you like me to explain in more detail?"
Alan nodded, and Jack got up from his seat to stand next to him.
"As you can see, magic is very prevalent in this world Alan. One such use of magic is for teleportation. You may be familiar with the meaning of the word and the concept. Teleportation magic involves a spell caster using a spell to instantly transport themselves from one location to another. However, one of the issues with such a spell is accuracy. The longer the distance one wants to travel, the easier it is to miss if you aren't careful. Are you following me so far?"
Alan just kept nodding, feeling like he was back in class. Though he didn't feel bored like he often did when his teachers went on and on.
"Imagine for a moment that I wanted to transport myself from here to right in front of that window," he said, pointing to the wall across from them. "Now imagine someone doing the same thing, but starting from the other side of the room. The distance is greater, and if the transporter wasn't careful in performing the spell, instead of landing right in front of the window, they could end up in that corner over there," he said, pointing to the far right of the window.
"Now there was a wizard who once proposed a theory of using portals as another method of teleportation. His theory suggested creating a magical door at one point, and then building a tunnel to another point, at which a second opening would appear. The concept had advantages over personal teleportation, in that other people wouldn't be dependent on the one casting the teleportation spell in order to travel that way. Instead, they could just walk through the open portal. Of course there would probably be an opening mechanism, but it wouldn't be all that different from a door. That same wizard thought that the portal technique would remove the accuracy problem associated with increasing distance, since the ends of the portal were supposed to be fixed. At least that was the idea."
Jack continued on, delighted to see he had Alan's full attention by this point. "However, he was wrong on that last point. While the ends would be anchored, the problem came in the middle. Early testing showed that as the portal got longer, it became increasingly unstable, and began to unravel, as it were, in the middle. This resulted in the portal veering of the projected course and the other end opening in locations away from the target, just like personal teleportation. When multiple objects were sent in at once, there were even cases of the portal unraveling to the point where multiple exits were created, and the group of items were separated. After that, no one was particularly interested in the concept, and the wizard abandoned it as well, leaving in the realm of the experimental and theoretical."
"So..." said Alan, "you think that's what happened to us, this portal or whatever just messed up and dropped us in different places here?"
"It would seem to fit, yes. As to who made such a portal, I have no idea. But that isn't really a priority at the moment. Our first task should be to locate your three friends to make sure you are all safe."
"You would do that for me?"
"Of course. I do need to make up for the way we accidentally treated you, and I can't have four children running around in a strange world where they could get hurt. Sending you back is another, trickier matter, but safety will do for now. I'll have the guards do a discreet search of the city. I'm sure your friends landed somewhere close to where you did, so it shouldn't take long to locate them all." He saw Alan's still worried face, and he put a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder. "Don't worry Alan. I promise we'll help you find your friends."
Before either could say anymore, there came a knock at the door. Sergeant Crane entered the room. He instantly laid his eyes on Alan. "Your Majesty, has the spy started talking?"
"Ah, Sergeant Crane. I was actually just going to summon you. This boy here is Alan, and he is not a spy, or a threat. Right now I need you to round up the guards and have them begin a careful search of the city. I need them to locate-"
"Um, I'm sorry to interrupt Your Majesty," said the Sergeant. "But I was sent here to give you this. The head of intelligence said it was very important, and wanted you to read it right away." The soldier handed over an envelope, which Jack took immediately."
"Oh? Let's see what we have here." Jack opened the letter, and as he began to read it, Alan noticed his expression change. His mouth fell into a tight line, and his shoulders slumped. Whatever it was, Alan knew it couldn't be particularly good news.
After he was done reading, Jack looked up to address Alan, and Sergeant Crane, who was still waiting on his king's reply. "Would you two give me a few minutes alone? I need to think."
"But," started Alan, but Jack just cut him off.
"Just wait outside in the hall Alan. The guards won't do you any harm. Isn't that right Sergeant?" He gave a sharp look to Crane, who merely nodded in agreement.
"Come on kid, you heard the king," said the Sergeant as he, gently, lead Alan out of the room. And as the door closed, Alan had to wonder why Jack still seemed to disturbed.
Alan felt something like deja vu as he sat on the carpeted floor in the hallway. At least he was pretty sure that's what it was called. This admittedly wasn't as bad as before. The carpets were rather nice, and the hallway wasn't as cold or damp as the cell he'd been in earlier. But it had been twenty minutes without word from Jack, and he felt the same fears he'd had within the cell bubble up again. What was in that letter? And were were Peter, Juseppes, and Cecil? Were they hurt?
Alan just wanted to help start the guard search already. The sooner the guards started looking, the sooner the four of them would be together, and the sooner they could figure on a way home. Their families were probably going berserk right now. His mother was probably already storming into the nearest police station and chewing out whoever was in charge. He pitied whoever that was. His mother was normally even tempered, but if you pushed her hard enough, her temper was a truly terrible thing to behold.
The guards had lived up to their word and not bothered him, and right now they weren't even paying attention to him. The silence was starting to become maddening. He wished Jack would open the doors, that something would just happen.
Finally the doors to the throne room opened, and Alan hopped to his feet to go inside. The guards stayed where they were, not even bothering to get in his way. When Alan went in, he saw Jack sitting on his throne, his hands folded in front of his... mouth Alan supposed, since Jack didn't really have a chin. He still wasn't smiling as his gaze was locked on the window to his right.
"Jack?" Alan said, forgoing formality altogether. "Are you going to start the guard search now?"
Jack's answer was somber. "It appears that the guard search will no longer be necessary Alan."
Alan's face brightened, despite the king's tone. "Does that mean you found them already?!"
"In a way. I know their location, but I am afraid retrieving your friends is no longer possible."
The words hit Alan like a punch to the stomach. "What? Why?!"
Jack remained on his throne, still staring out the window, refusing to look Alan in the eye. "You recall earlier, when I thought you were a threat, that I questioned you about Geppetto?"
"Yeah, why? What does this Geppetto person have to do with Peter, Juseppes, and Cecil?"
"Geppetto is currently the single greatest menace to our world. He started off as a puppet maker in the neighboring Sleeping Kingdom, before he made a living puppet Pinocchio. And from there, he created an army of evil, cruel Pinocchio clones. Since then he's allied with the leaders of the Sleeping Kingdom and has taken over most of the kingdoms in the Land of Dreams. This one is one of the remaining holdouts. The most recent report from my spies claims that three children matching your descriptions were seen in the custody of Sleeping Kingdom forces. Apparently the portal that brought you here dropped them all the way across the border."
"But what does he want with them?"
"From what my informants have been able to gather, Geppetto has always been interested in finding a way to your world. Once there, he could directly access the power of children's dreams. With your three friends and their dreams under his control, he could have the power to crush all remaining opposition to his rule."
An image flashed in Alan's mind, of Peter, Juseppes, and Cecil stuck in something like a mad scientist's lab, or some demented sorcerer's lair, being used like toys, like objects. It made him nauseous. "So? You're the king. Why don't you just round up the army, storm in, beat this Geppetto guy into the ground and rescue them?"
"That's out of the question Alan. We already had to fight Geppetto once when he invaded, and barely managed to push him back before closing up the only access point between the kingdoms. Going on the offensive would be impossible."
"So what are we going to do?"
"There is nothing that can be done, nothing that would succeed anyway. I'm sorry to say that your friends are completely unreachable."
Alan couldn't believe this. His hands tightened into fists at his side. How could he just give up, just like that?!
"I thought you were going to help me? You promised you would help me find them and get us home? And now you're just telling me that you won't help and I should just deal with it?!"
"Tone raise your voice at me boy. I've gone through the scenario and there's no sure way to get them out of there."
"Then why don't you take a chance? Just because it's not a sure fire way doesn't mean it won't work. All you're doing is being a pathetic coward!"
At that point Jack got up from his throne, his eyes flaring with fire. "Watch you tongue boy. I am the king, and your elder. You're just a child. You know nothing of this situation!"
If Jack was trying to scare him again, Alan wasn't having it. He just stared down the Halloween king. "Just because you're older than me doesn't make you automatically right all the time. Wrong is wrong, no matter the age. And you're crown doesn't mean anything to me. Like you said, I'm not from here. And I can talk to however I want. I don't see anyone I should respect. All I see is a lying coward. You promised me you would help me find my friends, but the minute it gets too difficult and you aren't totally sure you can win, you back out."
Jack just continued to glare. "I am only thinking of the citizens of my kingdom. I am their king, and ultimately I work to give them peace and security. I cannot risk another war that we could not win, and couldn't force my subjects into a state of panic and fear. It's already bad enough that small bands of Geppetto's forces climb over the mountain border."
But Alan wouldn't be dissuaded. "But you said that with my friends Geppetto could crush anybody that tries to stop him. How is letting him have them keeping your subjects safe? And how secure are they if there are still enemies sneaking in? That doesn't sound safe to me. A promise is a promise, and you're breaking it." Alan paused, taking a breath, and strengthening his resolve. The next words he spoke were in a lower, firmer voice. "And if you won't help me, I'll rescue them myself."
Jack's face widened in alarm. "You're insane! You barely know anything about this world, and you're just one child. You would have to get over the mountains without the key to the Drowsy Gate."
Alan was already headed back towards the door. "I'll dig a whole through those mountains if I have to. I'm not stopping until I free them."
Suddenly, Jack appeared in front of him, blocking his exit. "But you'll die, or be captured. Are you really so stupid as to gamble away your life so recklessly?"
But Alan just looked up into Jack's face, his eyes showing a will of iron. "The three of them are my best friends. We've known each other since we were babies. Our parents knew each other before we were born. If I just sat back and didn't help them, I'd be the worst friend alive. And I know they'd do the same thing for me in a heartbeat. Now move out of my way. I'm leaving."
Slowly, Jack moved aside, letting Alan continue to the door. Alan reached out for the handle, not sure where to even start, but also knowing he had to try.
"Wait."
Alan turned back to Jack. The king's face was downcast. "You aren't going to stop me."
"I wasn't about to," said Jack. "You're right Alan, I did promise to help you, and backing out now is cowardly."
"Does that mean you're going to get the army?"
"No," said Jack, and before Alan could protest, Jack just raised his hand for silence. "As a king, I still feel that I can't risk the safety of my kingdom any further than necessary. It wouldn't be right. However, that doesn't mean I can't risk my own life. What I am saying is, could I join you on your expedition?"
That took Alan by surprise. But he didn't stand and stare too long before a smile spread over his face. "Sure. The more help the better."
"Good," said Jack. "Now before we set out, I believe preparations are in order. Follow me."
Alan let Jack take the lead out the throne room, feeling hope fill his heart. He would rescue them, and they would be able to get home. He knew he would.
And that's it. Tell me what you guys think. Is it good? Are there parts I need to edit? I was wondering if there was too much dialogue and not enough description around it.
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reynard
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Post by reynard on Mar 16, 2013 11:35:38 GMT -8
Penny Royals: No, not beyond the circumstance of the fairy tale at least. My idea was that she went to talk to him to maybe face down her demons. In this scenario, she was traumatized by seeing her grandmother's dead body, and being held captive by a totally messed up wolf, and only kept Chris (the woodsman, based on the show) from killing Reginald because she just desperately wanted everything to stop, the killing, the whole thing. But perhaps you two are right. The visitor in prison scenario is probably not such a good idea. I'll take it out then. makoeyes: What grammar mistakes were those? Yeah, that thing about Jack occurred to me too. But that's what happened in the game, and I wanted to keep it, so that was the best justification for it. As king, he wants to give his people a peaceful, safe place to live. And his forces, while recovering from the last war, are still only large enough and strong enough for defense. Going on the offense into enemy territory would leave them too thin at home to be safe. And with the witch guild totally messed up this time, they'd have an even tougher time of fighting offensively. Not to mention the idea of war would throw people into a panic, and right before they're about to celebrate. Jack will leave someone else in charge for the time, and try to keep this quest as covert as possible. At least he can risk his own life. And there's good reason to attack anyway. Having three dreaming earth children gives Geppetto the chance to make himself incredibly powerful. And, ultimately, it's not like the people of Halloween Kingdom feel entirely safe right now anyway. Yeah, the fight was five years ago, and there are barriers in place, but would you feel completely safe and secure knowing that despite that, there are still small bands of enemies climbing over the mountains? Sure, they haven't gotten inside any towns or cities, but still, would you? What did you think of my ideas on portal magic? I thought it made sense anyway. And was the interrogation scene good? I wasn't sure if Alan was jumping around too much or something. Next chapter I intend to introduce Captain Hook. It may take a while though, I'm not sure. My spring break is over and I have an exam on Wednesday, so I may not have the time to sit down and sort the whole thing out.
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reynard
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Post by reynard on Mar 30, 2013 15:14:31 GMT -8
It was, except for one thing, just a few puncuation errors. Nothing major. There was this though:
Shouldn't that be "Don't raise your voice with me boy"?
Anyways, if it's in the game then it's fine. Also, your explanation for why the king feels this is the right thing to do is a good one. You might wanna have him explain all that so that the audience will be able to see his motivations better.
Yes, the explanation on portals makes perfect sense. It's a little similar to the way transporters work in my universe. Just like in the real world, the greater distance requires more work, thus more energy. Also it's easier if you have a sympathetic link to the place so you'll know where to go.
You're right. I've already fixed that error in my files. And as for the logic, I thought I already stated some of that in the dialogue. But if I didn't make it clear I can go over it again next chapter. Speaking of chapter 3, I still haven't finished it. I have some ideas for scenes, but I haven't found the time to write it up. I've also been wondering, should I post this thing on fanfiction.net, under the "misc games" section? I wasn't entirely sure. I mean, sure, it would seem to fit under that category, but it's a flash game, and...well, maybe I'm being ridiculous. What do you guys think?
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