So I'm writing this thing...

[Penny Royals]

...It's... a fanfiction? I guess? It's my, and many of my friends' characters, brought upon by a sort of dare of two of my particular friends. The reason it might be a fanfiction is that the whole idea is taken from Scott Pilgrim- evil exes.

So, without further ado... the first two parts of my story.






Alex was currently drifting on Cloud Nine. The gates of Heaven had just opened up to him, sending him a beautiful angel in a red babydoll top and chained, black pants. The angel's long blonde hair was in gentle curls, flowing over her back and breasts. Her slight figure enticed him... as she walked right past, to the other end of the bar. Alex was alone. Nobody he knew was here. By the look of it, the girl was alone too.

After a moment of watching her-she'd ordered a Shirley Temple- he'd finally decided to take a chance. He picked up his shotglass, and went and sat by the girl.

"So... a Shirley Temple, eh?"

For a few seconds she didn't seem to notice him, but then she slowly turned her head to give him an odd sort of look. She glanced between him and the seat he'd been on earlier.

"Uhm... what?" She said after a moment.

"You don't drink?"

"Oh! No." She gave a small laugh. "I'm not exactly old enough yet. I'm only twenty."

"Oh..." he nodded, looking back at his own drink. "Sorry if I, yknow, startled you. Or if I seem like a creeper. Do I seem like a creeper? I'm sorry if I do. Do you want me to go?"

"Nah." She shrugged it all off pretty easily. "To be honest, other than the bartender, I think you're the first person to talk to me since I moved here."

"You've just moved here?"

"Yeah. From Ohio, actually..."

"Awesome. I really hope you like it here... I'm sorry, I just realized I don't know your name."

"Johanna." She breathed. Her drink arrived and she took a sip. "Johanna Anderson, but just call me Jo."

"Alright. Jo... I like that name." He smiled then, and downed the rest of his shot. "I'm Alex, Alexander Rush, please don't call me anything really... you know... embarrassing."

She giggled. "I can do that."

Much of the rest of the night was spent talking like this. They were kicked out of the bar around nine, when it closed- it was Sunday after all- and so they walked around town. He showed her all of his favorite places, as well as places to stay away from, and they stopped on top of one of the hills just outside of town, catching their breath. By that time her watch read midnight, but neither were in a real hurry to get home yet. Laying on the snowy hillside and watching the stars, he told her his life story- well, some of it anyway. He left out the embarrassing bits, and the parts about him figuring out he had powers that he never used. She, however, didn't tell him much about herself- just that she'd been living with her father since she was fifteen, and that's who she was with now. Before they'd realized anything, she looked at her watch again and told him that it was almost 3 AM. He walked her home.

Her house was practically a mansion. It's outsides were lined by a white picket fence and white rose hedges, leading up to the white wood, two story house that's lights were on. To the door the duet went.

"Maybe we should stop here," she told him, with a regretting smile. She took her hand from his at that point.

"Yeah... maybe." He returned the smile. They started hugging, right as the door opened and a voice shouted, "Halt! I am the first of Johanna's evil exes!"

They seperated then, looking like sheepish teenagers caught doing-the-do, but then Johanna relaxed. The man that stood there was tall, blonde, with quickly graying hair. He had good natured eyes, and his pipe-weilding mouth was grinning like a madman.

"Fooled you, didn't I?" He laughed. "I just got done watching that one movie! Gosh, there's no such actual think as evil exes you two... okay, there are, but those are called ex wives... come on, come inside." Alex was dragged in by Johanna then.

"See why I wanted us to kinda... part right then?" She asked.

"Yeah..."

"I'm her daddy," the man said, jutting out his hand, "You can call me Andrew."

As he shook his hand, Alex looked around the room. It was much like the outside- gleaming and fancy.

"Gee... you guys sure do like white..."

"Yeah, we do. Uhm, Alex?"

"Yeah Jo?"

"...You should go home now."

He looked at the clock. It was almost four now.

"Shit, you're right! Sorry! I'll see you tomorrow!"

Before she could protest, he gave her a kiss on the cheek and booked it out of the house. He was out of breath by the time he reached downtown, and leaned against a fence to catch his breath. After a few minutes of panting, he started on again, and soon came to a tall, dark-bricked building. He climbed the stairs, up to apartment 1818, unlocked the door, and stepped inside. His two roommates- Sam and Lucy- were asleep on the little bed in the corner. He grabbed a blanket and fell asleep on the recliner, dreaming of the angel he had met.


























He got waken up just a few hours later to the scent of cooking. Lucy was making breakfast, and Sam was taking a shower. He groaned, turning over a few times, trying to get back to his dream. It had been going so well, too... but the scent of breakfast was too strong, he had to get up and eat SOMETHING. The recliner rocked back and forth as he struggled out of the blanket and fell face-first onto the ground. He got up trying to look smooth, dusting himself off as Sam came back to the room in a bathrobe.

"Where were you last night?" He asked while grabbing clothes from the dresser.

"With a girl." He said simply, joining him to quickly grab a tee shirt. He took off the one he was currently wearing and put this one on.

"...A girl?" Sam was brightening up. "Awesome! What's she like?"

"Well, I'll bring her over tonight. She's really pretty. You guys are going to love her..."

"What, does she like Pokemon?" Sam brightened up like crazy at that, flashing Alex a grin before slipping back itno the bathroom to change.

"I don't know! You can ask her when she gets here!"

"Well does she sing?" Lucy asked, setting up her and Sam's bit of breakfast and leaving the rest for Alex. "Or play drums?"

"Once again, YOU ask her. She doesn't seem like the type to play drums though."

"Aww..." She sat down and started eating when Sam came out and joined her. Alex got himself the rest, and sat with them.

"Well, I hope she's cool, at least."

"She is, trust me."

"...Okay, we hope she isn't CRAZY."

"I don't think she is."

"Says you."

"Hey!"

"You've only known her for... what... a day?"

"And you met her at the bar."

"C'mon, she's a total fox. Foxes aren't crazy."

"Heh. YET."

Alex was silent at this, thinking it over. His mind flashed back to what Andrew had said the previous night. Ex wives were like ex girlfriends, right? Or was there some sort of difference?

...He didn't want to find out.

He left shortly afterwards, pulling on his thick jacket and leaving the apartment, walking down the stairs and out onto the street. Despite the roads being-probably- icy, the city was abuzz during the daylight hours. Most people took the subway, but there were enough cars and taxis out to be a sizable amount. He trudged up the snow-covered sidewalk, to uptown, towards the small mansion where Johanna lived. He knocked on the door once he was on the porch. She answered, after several moments, in a semi-short, casual black dress. She had no shoes on, nor leggings, nor a coat. She grabbed his glove, and pulled him inside, quickly shutting the door and dragging him upstairs while chitter-chattering away.

"Gosh, you caught me really early! I don't even have my makeup on!"

"...You don't?"

"No, not at all! I don't even have on socks! It was all I could do to change out of my nightgown into this while going downstairs... I knew it'd be you, yknow? You're kinda the only person that knows us here." She got quiet at that. Alex took it back upon himself to keep it all from being too dark.

"Well, you look really pretty, with or without makeup." She smiled widely at that.

"You think so?"

"Totally."

She giggled, and lead him through a door. The room that they were in now was spacious, with a massive, open wardrobe in the corner, a bed by the door(with a canopy), a vanity directly in front of them, and a door to what he was pretty sure was a bathroom. She pushed him to sit on the bed, as she went to drop to her knees and ruffle through the drawers on the bottom of the wardrobe.

"Your room's... pretty," he told her, looking around.

"Mhm." She pulled out a pair of long white socks, setting them beside her. She got up to start rifling through the drawers on the left side of the inner wardrobe now.

"It's not as white as the rest of the house."

"Yeah, I love white but I couldn't stand my bedroom being all one color. That would bore me."

"Totally. It's more..."

"Red? Yeah. It's like... the flag or something... Red and white... red and white..." She pulled out black leggings, dropping them beside the socks on the carpet.

"I take it you really like those colors?"

She paused for a moment, switching herself around again to stand on her tip toes to reach the top hanger of where her coats were. He couldn't help but notice how her thigh and calf muscles tightened with the light strain. "Not really... I'm just attatched to them."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Memories... emotional security blanket... uhm... can you switch the topic, please?"

"Sure." He thought for a moment. During this time she got what she was reaching for, an old, worn-out leather duster, with a small cape dangling off the shoulders like epaullettes. Some of the buttons were popped off, and it looked way too big for such a tiny figure. "Nice coat."

"Thanks. It was my dad's, y'see. He had it for YEARS before he gave it to me finally. Hand-me-down, I guess."

"Oh, I know how that is. I have two older brothers and a younger sister."

"So you'd get your brothers' clothes?"

"And she'd get mine. I had to listen to her complain like CRAZY..."

"Niiiice." Now that the duster was down, she pulled it off the hanger, tossing said hanger to her vanity while pulling on the duster. He was right- it was huge on her, the sleeves draping off of her hands and the bottom trailing on the ground. She picked up her socks and leggings and sat by him on the bed.

"Ever thought of getting modifications done to that old thing?" He asked.

"Eh, I always thought I'd grow into it. But now that seems like... well... impossible..." She paused again. "Okay, maybe that's a good idea."

"I know a good place." He felt compelled to explain this a bit more. "My sister works there, you know. She modified all of our clothes so that they'd have a more feminine shape, or be smaller and actually able to fit her. Plus, one of my roommates goes there to get her clothes taken in and out."

"You have roommates?"

"Yeah. You get to meet them tonight! I told them about you already, so they're expecting you."

"Wow."

"I know, right?"

An awkward silence fell on them. She pulled on the leggings and then the socks, and after that leaned under the bed to pick out black boots, which he thought were massive- and indeed they were, reaching up to mid-thigh on her. He would have asked if those were hand-me-downs as well, but from the look of them, they were tailor-made to fit her the exact way she was. After pulling these on, and zipping them up, and buckling the straps on their sides, she stood up and walked to the door.

"Ready!"

He got to his feet, a bit in a daze as he hadn't been expecting it to go by so fast. He followed her downstairs, an arm on the ready. He was afraid that she'd fall in those heels- but she didn't, and she went down rather fast too. She took a key from a board by the door, and quickly scrawled a note to her father, leaving with Alex.

Without makeup.

She herself was winded once they got up the stairs, so they waited outside of the door to let her catch her breath before they'd go in. As he figured out, she'd had breathing complications for most of her life due to a defect when she was born. Her mother drank, and her mother apparently drank a lot, but that was all she told him. They went into the little apartment at that point.

Sam and Lucy were sitting together on the recliner, playing a game on the N64 together. From the sound of gunshots and the fact that Lucy was freaking out, and Sam was looking very casual and pleased, they were playing 007. Lucy's outbursting goran after a few moments told that she had just lost. The two looked up to them then.

Lucy's jaw dropped, and she gawked. Sam was doing the same for a moment, but then cleared his throat and smiled, getting up, his eyes still very wide as he slowly came over to take Johanna's hand. Johanna was smiling happily, and took it.

"Welcome," Sam finally said, trying to get casual once more. Lucy had stopped gawking and was coming over sweetly now. "Alex has told us a lot about you. He told us you weren't crazy. And that you were cool." He added, under his breath, "But you probably don't like Pokemon still."

"What he's trying to say is," Lucy said quickly, "is... what's your name?"

"Oh! It's Johanna!" She said, bubbly. "Johanna Anderson. Just call me Jo."

Sam and Lucy exchanged deadpan glances, confirming that they were both thinking the same thing.

"You?" She asked, looking at them back and forth.

"...Malcolm. SAM Malcolm."

"Lucy Jones."

"....Oh...." Johanna's hand dropped to her side, and her eyes grew to a massive size. "O-oh my god..."

"...Yeah, Jo."

"You're... ohmygod... I..."

"Hey," Alex, with a slightly nervous laugh, stepped inbetween the three. "What's this all about?"

"We know eachother," Lucy told him.

"You can say we're old friends."

"...I... I can't stay here." Johanna turned on her heel in one quick motion, opening the door and darting out. As a group the trio grabbed onto the edge of her duster, bringing her back inside and shutting the door.

"Why not?"

"After all, there's a TON we need to catch up on... like why you're here. And what's happened with you these past six years. Had a baby yet? How about telling us teh body count this time? I mean of how many people have died following you around."

"Or you could tell us exactly where you left to after we all got back."

"...Or, yknow, you guys could kinda clue me in on what the heck is going on?" Alex's curiosity was... beyond curiosity.

"No! Please no... guys, I'll tell you later... in private... okay? Please don't make me tell him... I'm not teh same person, I swear to God..."

"Well, that's kinda obvious." Lucy giggled then. "After all, look at you. You're ta-no wait, that's the boots. Well... you've got boobs! Kinda big ones! Or is that just padding?"

"PleasepleasePLEASEdon'tmakemetalkaboutthepastrightnow... please..."

"Okay, okay!" Sam's voice, somewhat thundering, stopped Lucy from being about to reply, and stopped Alex from whining about knowing. "Now... how about we show Jo out to the ol' Wazzesch Plaza?"

"That is, of course, if you actually EAT now..."

"TO THE WAZZESCH!" Alex shouted.

"WAZZESCH!" Sam chimed in, and started to go get his coat.

At that moment the door was opened. The remaining three turned around to stare at a tall, wildly grinning, middle-aged man, with long, shaggy blonde hair in a ponytail.

"And so we meet, Alexander Rush." His voice giggled as he talked, looking over the group. They could see better now, and would see he was in a labcoat, that was lightly stained with something that was either mud or blood, and two scalpels were in his hands.

"...Oh no."

The man came into the house then, shutting the door.

"Uhm... excuse me?" Alex asked. "Who are you?...Why do you know my name?"

"Oh, I know a lot more than just your name, Alex! I know that you're dating that pretty girl right beside you. So, I might as well tell you now... I am the first of Johanna's crazy exes!" Throughout this he was rolling his scalpels through his hands, playing flashy techniques.

"Oh no..."

He smiled over at her now.

"Hello, Johanna."

"Hello Doobs..."

And with that, he caught the dumbfounded Alex in a nelson. Alex started struggling, and quickly pulled himself out of it, crouching down.

"Is this guy for real? Or is he just your uncle?... Please tell me he's just your crazy uncle..."

"No... no, this really is an ex of mine..."

"...Shit."

"Well, shall we fight now? And yes, my dear, I'm alive, and well! I've been released from my imprisonment at the mental ward by an old enemy... now, let's tango, shall we?"

"...What?"

Doobs ran at Alex now, scalpels flailing wildly. Alex took a quicky sidestep out of the way, and grabbed a bottle from the counter. As he was charged at again, he smashed the bottle in the sink and brandished that.

Johanna, Sam, and Lucy were all hanging back a bit, watching the fight. They didn't seem to be able to go over and help- they all knew that this was Alex's fight. However that didn't stop them from talking.

"So... should we.. uhm... meet back up sometime?" Johanna asked awkwardly.

"Sure! How about Sunday at four?"

"Let me check my sche- Goddamnit Alex, stop freaking out, I know him."

"...You know this murderous madman that's trying to maniacally murder me, and you're not helping? D:"

"...One, how did you do that? And two, I'm sorry! I can't move past right here for some reason..."

"It's the battlefield, it's an enchantment put upon by the man who I am contracted to so that you can't get in the middle of it all and get yourself hurt like you usually do. You see, points of a sort are knocked off for every time you get hurt, my dear."

"...Damn, whoever this guy is, he knows me..."

Doobs, at that moment, cut himself a long, thin slice into Alex's side.

And now Alex was enraged.

As Doobs was turning back around to speak to Johanna once more, Alex thrust the semi-broken bottle into his side, pulling it out bloody. The holes of the labcoat where he'd gotten him at were quickly showing red. Doobs turned around, also enraged now rather than happy is his work.

"Alright, you want to fight dirty? Well, there's no rules against that in the contract..."

Doobs pulled off his labcoat then, showing off heavily outlined muscles that flexed as he moved.

"Now you've got yourself a real enemy, Alexander. Bad choice."

The two were immediately at eachother's throats, bottle to scalpel. Johanna was trying to break the enchantment to get in, but she seemed to hit something and fell back into Sam and Lucy, who were watching with interest and possibly horror, in a faint. The two men were really trying to hurt eachother.

However it was pretty quickly announced in a way that Alex was winning. He still had his jacket on, and his shirt, and his gloves, and so he wasn't hurt to bad unless Doobs was swinging at his eyes. Doobs however had, rather stupidly, taken off his labcoat. Yet, the worse cuts he got, the more he sustained them. It was becoming apparent that he was getting extremely dizzy, though...

Alex noticed this, after a moment or two. He didn't have much time, nor much of an opening. He had to be quick. Turning his head and sheilding it with one hand, he grabbed another bottle from the counter, and got back to fighting. Using the already broken one as a weapon, and holding the other, he continued fighting.

Johanna was coming back to consciousness now, and leaned up a bit from Sam's arm and chest. She watched the fight for a moment, and realized what Alex was planning. Without noticing what she was doing, and regretting it somewhere in the recesses of her heart, she gave an ear-shattering scream.

Doobs looked back to her, startled and almost frightened by her cries. And that was Alex's chance. With a small glance at her, he put everything int action- and smashed the unbroken bottle over his head. Alcohol of some sort went spraying everywhere with the glass, and Doobs slumped over the table, limp.

The trio were able to come in now. They went to Alex, making sure he was okay. He was, so then they slowly went over to Doobs.

"Is he... dead?" Lucy asked.

"No. He's not." Sam said pretty knowingly.

"Yeah. For one I don't think he CAN die..."

"...What are we going to do with him?"

"Well, for right now, we should just like... tie him up to a chair. Securely. So he can't get out. And take away his scalpels."

"That sounds like a plan."

As a group, they got to work. Sam and Lucy went about finding rope, and Johanna and Alex lifted him up, dropping him in a chair.

"God, he's heavier than I remember. Then again, he's got tons more muscles than I remember..."

"...I won't even ask."

"...Good... I'm sorry, I SWEAR I'll tell you everything! Just... not right now."

"Alright..." He sighed. Sam and Lucy came down with rope then, and they tied him to the chair, putting several sections on his wrists and ankles.

"Maybe we should move him to a room?"

"Do you guys HAVE any room?"

"Totally. We've got a closet. I mean, that's where we got this rope from."

"Do we have a key to the closet?"

"Yeah, I've got it." Lucy swirled it on her right index finger. "Lets get him in there, and I'll lock it."

The group as a whole strained, lifting the unconscious man, in the chair, into the closet. They shut the door, and locked it.

"...Okay, so uhm... How about we go to Wazzesch now?"

"WAZZESCH!"

"Sounds like a plan."

Alex fixed his coat, and the others grabbed theirs, and as a group they left and went down all the flights of stairs, out to the street, and down the road just a bit to a big, neon-lighted, round diner. They went inside and plopped down into a booth, and soon were served a massive tray of pizza. In the first five minutes of their stay, Johanna herself had eaten about that same number of slices.

"...Geeze, you actually DO eat now..." Lucy marvelled, watching. Johanna looked embarrassed.

"I'm sorry! I realized I liked food... it's... it's good..." She looked down at herself. "I'm not getting fat, am I?"

"No!" Alex and Sam both were quick to cut in.

"You look perfectly fine."

"Honestly, never better."

"...Woooow, guys." Lucy rolled her eyes at them but giggled at her female companion. "You look ten times better now that you've, yknow, got actual MEAT on your bones. Here, have a few more pieces..."

As the night progressed, the battle that had taken place earlier was really dawning in Alex's mind. He stared at his friends, detatched at the moment from their laughter and recollection.

Hot damn. I'm dating a girl with issues.

[Penny Royals]

Alex woke up in the darkness. According to the digital clock flickering in and out on the coffee table, it was about 3 AM. He was awake currently because of the rattling and yells coming from the closet. It was becoming apparent to him, Sam, and Lucy that there was no way he was going to stop either. He stood up finally, getting out of the recliner, and looked over at the other two, who were untangling themselves from eachother and the blankets. Lucy went and turned on the light to the closet and Sam opened up the door, leaning against it with his arms crossed, looking at the older man with tired eyes. Doobs stared back, enraged words flowing through his lips. Alex was honestly impressed with the words he knew- he could swear he heard Swahili...

Oh well, impressive or not. As a group, by simply not saying anything, they got him to quiet down eventually. Alex took charge then.

"Now, tell us who you are and where you came from."

"I'm not telling you that, you sentakan pantat!" He spat that at them, which made them knew that it was an insult.

"...Indonesian..." Lucy was taking count of the languages.

"Damn this guy's good."

"Fuck the languages!" Alex shook his head. "Tell us who you and where you came from."

"No. Not without a lawyer, a police officer, or at least some form of protection!"

"Well fine then..." Alex turned off the light then, dropping the whole apartment back to darkness. The man screamed, and Alex turned it back on. "Feeling a bit more loquacious?"

"Fine! My name is Timothy R. Doobs, I come from a magical land called Michigan, and I am not telling you ANYTHING more until somebody else comes!"

Alex had had it with much of this talk, so, like any rational person, he socked him in the face. It was a hard punch, lacking mercy, and now as Doobs went back into his verious cusswords, he was spitting out blood. He'd lost a tooth.

"If you think this is going to help you, you are really stupid! If I wanted this treatment, I'd go back to the damned mental ward!"

"Then what WILL work? There's not going to be lawyers, or law inforcement, or anything like that at all, so get rid of that idea right now."

He was silent for a minute, and then looked them each over.

"Then," he said, finally giving in, "at least bring in Blondie."

"No."

"Hey, she's not what you mentioned! I can actually trust that I'll be safe with her here. She wouldn't let me get hurt. She wouldn't let any of us get hurt..."

"Us?"

He was silent, a sick grin coming to his face. Yep, he'd lost a few teeth for sure. Alex sighed, and went to grab his coat and gloves.

"Fine. I'll go get her. Sam, Luce, you think you guys can handle this?"

"Totally!"

"Yeah, don't worry about it."

"Okay. If I find you guys hurt or dead, then there will seriously be no mercy."

He left then, racing the way through the silent, cold night to Johanna's house. He noticed that her bedroom light was on, but no other lights. So either she was seriously afraid of the dark, or she was awake. Either way, he wasn't going to chance knocking on the door and waking up her father... So he picked up some small sticks, and tossed them at the window. Soon enough, the curtain was pulled aside and she peeked out. She gave him a look that, obviously, said 'What the hell are you doing?', and he replied with a sheepish smile. She rolled her eyes and left the curtain. The door was opened quickly, and he ran up to her. She hadn't changed from the days' exploits, so she'd definitely been awake.

"What is it?" She hissed. "It's almost four o'clock in the morning!"

"I'm sorry! It's just... you need to come. Like, now."

"Why? What's going on?"

"You'll see when you get there, I promise! Come on!"

"But I need to leave Dad a no-"

"Come on!"

And so the two were running down the road, in the snow, back to his house. Halfway there she ended up caving in, hitting the ground and trying hard to breathe. He stopped, going back to her and holding her for a few moments, letting her catch her breath. His mind went back to the previous day, when she told him about her defect. He got her to her feet.

"Do you think you can go on?" He asked.

"Yeah... I think so..."

"Okay. Let's take it slow this time, okay?"

"Okay."

They did, and ended up getting upstairs and into the apartment pretty quickly. The sun was coming up, streaking the sky light blue. They came back inside drenched in snow... to see the three playing cards at the kitchen table.

"...What the fuck you guys?"

"...What?"

"You let him out!"

"So? It's not like he's going to hurt us or anything. He's actually a pretty chill dude. Join us, I totally suck at War."

Awkwardly, Alex and Johanna sat at the table with the rest of them.

"...So why'd you drag me out of my house?"

"Well we HAD him tied up in the closet still... I think my interrogation plans just went out the window, thanks Sam."

"No problem!"

"...That wasn't a good thing!"

"So?"

"Damn it..."

"Interrogation? More like bullying."

"Wait, what?" Johanna was trying to keep up with all of this.

"So I socked you in the face, big deal!"

"You also turned off the light after already keeping me in the dark all night."

Alex groaned. They all seemed to be against him right now. Even Johanna was doing an 'Aw!' face.

"Okay, okay, I'll admit it... wasn't the... best decision... but you wouldn't tell us the information that we need!"

"Well, now that she's here and I know you won't touch me... I can tell you something. One thing, actually."

"What?"

"There's seven of us. Including the one in charge."

"...That's ALL you can tell us?!"

"Hey, not my fault. My contract may be broken because you defeated me, but I'm still under it's limitations. Each of us six can tell you only one thing."

"So we won't have any clue who's coming next?"

"Oh, no, I think you might know."

"...What?"

"Exes? Hello. I even said 'The first of her crazy exes'! Did nobody hear that?"

"...But you said even of you," Johanna was getting confused. "But I've only dated you, Aeon, and Peter... and Elias, okay. And kinda Sihka..."

"I can't tell you who the other two are, you'll be learning that at some later time."

"Goddamn it, I'm getting tired of the mindgames!"

"Hey, s'not my fault..."

"You're damn right it is!"

"No, it's not. I'm just under the influence of the contract still. That's not my fault."

Alex sighed, putting his hand on his chin to rest.

"Well, you have to stay here. You can't leave."

"You think I want to leave? When I'm not getting tortured, this place is pretty nice. Besides, I don't want to be found and sent back to the mental ward, so I'm going to stay here anyway."

"...Alright then..."

So it was settled. He'd sleep on the floor, in the middle of the living room, between the bed and the recliner. They pulled out one of their many blankets and handed it to him. It was early- they needed rest.

"I should be getting home now, I guess," Johanna said with a small laugh. "Dad's probably awake already though. He's early."

"Geeze. Is he going to freak out about you not being there?"

"Nah... honestly, he might have left ME a note!" She giggled. "He's off working most of the time. He's got a job at that open zoo a few miles out."

"Oh, that one place? Cool. But I think you have a point... I'll take you."

She nodded, and took his arm. As Sam, Lucy, and Doobs all went back to bed, they left. They went nice and slow this time, so that she wouldn't get too winded again. They were silent the whole way, neither really wanting to talk about what had happened. Sure enough, once they got to the house, they found a note.

The note read:

Dearest daughter,

I'm off at work! I hope you have a good day. I know you're off with Alex, since your note was riddled with him yesterday. I'm so glad you're making friends! C: Well, when you get back, you can take out the boat. I've left the keys right beside this note for you. I'm sure Alex knows where a lake is, so he can show you and you two can have some fun time together. <3

Love,

Daddy

She, embarrassed, looked up to Alex.

"I'm sorry. My dad is... funny..."

"Hey, it's okay. It's kinda cute."

"Maybe."

She grabbed the keys.

"Say, how about we go do this?"

"...But it's cold!"

"So? It's not freezing."

"...Damn, you're a trooper..."

"Yeah. Thanks. Come on."

She lead him through the house, letting him see it. It was all in white, like he'd thought. They went through a door, into a massive garage. There was a space were one car was, a smaller, sporty one as he was told later, but in there right now was a boat attatched to the back of a truck.

She opened up the door and slid in, motioning him to join, so he did.

"This truck SUCKS," she informed him blatantly, "But it's the only one with a trailer hitch so that we can carry around the boat. Doesn't stop it from being a PoS though."

She started up the truck with the other key on the boat, and clicked a button on a remote control of sorts, letting the garade door rise. They went out a bit and she closed it.

"You'll have to give me directions."

"How about I just drive?"

"...Or we could do that, yeah. Okay."

She passed over the seats with him, having him sit in the driver's spot and her in the passenger's. He started driving, and she turned on the radio to an easy listening station. All was quiet- and quieter even more as she fell asleep rather quickly, into a little nap. He finished the drive- a rather long one, technically, at least on hour- and, when they got there, gently shook her awake. She gave a small whimper, like a child, but woke up quickly enough. They eased the boat into the water, and turned off the truck. She went to behind it, and pulled out several things.

"...Swim trunks?" Alex asked, staring at the objects in her arms. "...Is your dad nuts?"

"Yes, but does that matter? I'm just getting out the safety vests."

She found these, and tossed him the larger, strapping herself into the smaller.

"You're going to have to adjust it, it's probably going to be big." She watched him for a moment. He didn't move. She sighed then, and went over, starting to adjust it for him since it was obvious he had no clue how.

"Thanks."

"No problem..." She paused, very close to his chest, and blushed slightly before turning around and getting into the boat. "You want to keep driving?"

"Totally." He followed her in. They surveyed the lake. It was sizable- there was an island way out, and there were two other boats- a kanoe andanother motorboat. The kanoer was simply rowing around, probably just learning, and the motor boat was just parked, it's occupant- a... man... wearing a baseball cap and copious amounts of blue- seemed to be fishing. It was all peaceful. "I'll take you over to the island, how about that?"

"That would be awesome, Alex!" She giggled, and sat down. He went over and turned on the motor, and soon they were off. He sat by the til, maneuvering the boat around.

"You're pretty good at this," She told him, looking back at the kanoer behind them, riding their gentle wake.

"Thanks. I learned how to do this back when I as like... ten. My brothers taught me."

Suddenly, they felt a very hard bump, and a voice from close behind shouted, "Oh A~lex!"

Both of them turned around to stare face-to-face, past the flying water between the boats, the man from earlier stood, poised, at the bow of his boat.

"I heard that Doobs didn't quite do the job. So they've had me up the ante a bit!" He looked past Alex to throw a smile at Johanna. "Hi Jo."

"...Fuck... hi. Goddamn it, this is the second time in the past twenty-four hours..."

"Well we're trying to get this over quickly. Wanna come for a ride with me, pretty lady?"

"...No thanks."

"Damn it."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Alright... Alex! I challenge you!"

"...To a pokebattle?"

"...What? No. That's stupid. A race to the island!"

"Alright. Sounds easy enough. I didn't catch your name. Why is it that everybody knows my name, but I don't know theirs?..."

"Ask the girl sitting beside you... for now!"

His boat backed off for a moment, and then turned to start speeding right past them without him even touching anything. Alex gave a small gasp and plunged foreward though the water, so that they gained on him and were soon neck-to-neck.

"His name is Peter," Johanna shouted at Alex over the roar. "He was my first technical boyfriend."

"First technical? What?"

"Doobs was the man I lost my virginity to."

"...Was it rape or something?"

"FUCK no. Okay, well it was. But not in the way you're thinking. I, uhm... kinda forced myself onto HIM..."

"...OKAY SHUT UP NOW."

He went foreward again and she, happily, went quiet. Peter seemed to be letting them get slightly ahead, and shortly afterwards they realized why. From a simple vantage point, he grabbed Johanna's wrist, and his boat rammed hard into Alex's. The boat rocked precariously, some water getting inside it. Through that, Peter was able to grab Johanna and pull her onto his boat. Alex, after steadying his boat, tried pulling the same trick on Peter, and succeeded only in almost tossing his girlfriend off the side. However after that then she got herself out of the grip on her wrist, moving backwards and looking at the bridge between the two boats, trying to find the right moment to cross.

The boats connected then. Alex stood up, and yelled to Peter, "You coward! Let's finish this- hand-to-hand combat! Now!"

Peter laughed at that, shook his head, and left his perch to stand in front of Alex. Their boats were equal speed, and at equal pressure against one another. And with that, the two men began fighting. Alex seemed to have a better feel for teh hand to hand combat... and that was shown very quickly, when he socked him in the face and Peter went flying against the other side of the boat. The weight on that end- coupled with Alex's quick running to the till and pushing the boats against one another- sent teh boat flying over, tipping both of it's occupants into the lake. It was only then hat he'd realized how stupid a thing that was.

However he didn't seem to have to dwell too much on it, as, moments later, Johanna resurfaced. And then went back under. And came up once more, gripping the side of the boat, and, with Alex's help, pulled up both herself and an unconscious Peter. She leaned him against one of the seats, patting his back to get him to cough up some water and breathe- but still be unconscious- as they started backwards.

Along the way to shore, they passed the kanoer from earlier.

Or, well, the kanoe.

[Penny Royals]

Peter's clue was very cryptic... 'Time'.

"OH GOD NO."

"Hey, the man took us all."

"Wait, is he the one in charge or the one next?"

"...The one next, duh."

"Oh. Okay. That makes sense."

"...Who?" Alex was still trying to get her to talk to him about this stuff.

"Aeon. He's... well... he's kind of a time keeper..."

"...OH GOD NO."

"Yeah... and yknow, if you think my Dad and I like white... you will NOT be prepared for this guy."

"...Whoa, really?"

"Mhm."

"...I don't know whether to say 'awesome' or to say 'Goddamn'..."

"Both?"

"'Awesome Goddamn'?"

"Yeah. Or 'Goddamned Awesome.'"

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. It's boring anyway. I don't see why I have to give probably the most boring of all the clues..."

"I don't know. I think it's more exciting than mine. I just had to say that there's seven of us."

"Shut up, Pedoteach."

"Hey, that was MY fault, not his."

"Whatever. Can I use the phone?"

"Sure, I guess..." She went to go pick it up before Alex held her hand.

"Who are you going to call?" He asked Peter.

"Myself, who else."

"...Why?"

"His self equals his... fuck it, the best way to describe this is his twin brother."

"We aren't even twins!"

"Still, it's the easiest explanation."

"Fine. Can I call him?"

Alex sighed, but picked up the phone and handed it to him.

"Make it quick."

"Oh, don't worry. It will be."

In fact, the call lasted all of thirty seconds, and nobody was really, honestly sure what had happened.

"Well they're coming to come pick me up."

"...Uhm, no."

"What?! But I gave you your stupid clue and I fought you!"

"We're still not letting any of you go."

"Why?"

"Because we're pretty sure that as a group, you guys are all going to really talk. And well, if you're HERE... then we can know what you're talking about."

"What? That's fucking stupid!"

"Hey. If you were in MY position, you'd be doing the same damned thing."

He sighed, and sunk down in his chair. A while later- as the group was playing Mario Party thanks to Sam and Lucy- there was a knock at the door. Lucy groaned, setting down her controller and got up to answer it.

Pretty immediately two figures filled inside, and the weird thing was, they all seemed to know who was who immediately.

"Hey Jo," Chet began, "Haven't seen you in a while." His eyes caught the screen, and he grabbed Lucy's controller. "Aw, this is Daisy. Damn you guys are girly."

"That's because it's mine." Lucy plucked her controller out of Chet's hands and sat back down.

"Okay, okay..."

"Have you been here this ENTIRE time?" Leanora asked Peter.

"What?"

"You've been gone for, like, two months."

"Oh, no. Just a few hours."

"...Where the hell were you before that?"

"Somewhere."

"...You're not going to help us with this, are you."

"Nope."

"Damn it."

"So what exactly is going on?"

"Honestly," Sam started, "I don't think any of US really know..."

"Well, who's this guy?" A finger was pointed to Alex, who was sitting on the floor beside the recliner.

"This is Alex," Johanna said quickly. "My boyfriend."

"You know, I really don't understand why you go for guys like him, I mean they aren't nice-"

"-And we're apparently fighting off Seven Crazy Exes."

"...Wait, like that one movie?"

"Yeah. Exactly like that. Only the thing is we don't really know who's all in it, though we know who the next one i-"

A blinding flash of light stopped her train of thought then. In the middle of the room stood a lean, beautiful person, shrouded in brilliant white. The person wore large, extravagant shoes, a monocle, and in it's gloved hand was a large, equally magnificent pocketwatch. They tucked the pocketwatch away into one of the pockets on their jacket, and flashed a shining smile at the group before taking Johanna's right hand to kiss it.

Subsequently there were a series of groans from Peter, Chet, and Leanora.

"And here he is," Johanna squeaked, blushing and trying to get back to the game. Sam and Lucy barely looked up, to send off peace signs which he returned.

"Wait... this is a he?" Alex asked, genuinely confused. "He's too pretty be be a guy!"

"Thank you." He said with a small chuckle, letting Johanna's hand drop. "I am a guy, actually. Despite my appearance."

"Youprobablyhadasexchange." Peter coughed from the corner.

"Nope."

"Alright, uhm... do we... start fighting now?"

"Actually, Alex... how about we settle this peacefully?"

"Peacefully?"

"Yes. Do you guys have a chess set?"

"Duh. We have practically every game in our closet."

Lucy set back down her controller again and went to said closet, pulling out a chess set with ease and handing it to him.

"Thank you." He walked over the the cleared-off table, setting it up quickly. Alex sat down. He had the dark pieces, while, of course, Aeon had the white ones.

"Hey, Jo," Sam started. "It's your turn." She was getting up now and walking over to watch. "Jo?...Alright then. Anybody want to play Peach?"

Leanora came over and took the controller, and Lucy got up again to turn on a CD. The Jeopardy theme started playing, and then she went back. Their game resumed.

"You start, Alex."

And so Alex did, as Peter too came over to sit and watch.

"So Alex, Johanna, tell me, how did you two meet?"

"At a bar," Johanna said.

"Ah... you still drink? I would have thought that'd stop when you went with Andrew rather than April."

"I don't, actually. I'm not old enough, for one. How did you know I live with Andrew now?"

"Good girl. And I knew this because if you were still living with April, you might just as well be dead right now, or otherwise covered in bruises, and, honestly, you probably wouldn't be with Alex, as she wouldn't allow that."

"...Wow, you know my family a lot."

"Yes, I do. We discussed them many times."

"You know more about her family than I do, at least," Alex gave a small, nervous laugh then.

"You haven't told him anything?"

"No..." She gave Alex a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Peter, stop brooding and join the conversation. Brooding is bad for you."

"What do you care?"

"Fine, go back to brooding."

"Okay, okay, okay... I'll stop brooding..."

"Good."

"So, how have you all been? What's happened these past years? I myself have travelled, of course..."

"I've finished school. Learned new things. You know. Made a relationship with my Dad... we've moved across the world just trying to figure out where we belong, I guess."

"I got a good job, girlfriend, house... you know. New life."

"...Then why exactly are you here? Actually, why are either of you here? I know Doobs felt compelled to sign that contract because he got let out of the asylum by whoever's the leader of all this..."

"Mind control. Plus the contract was unbreakable."

"Same as him, actually."

"Ohhhh, okay."

"Don't take it personally."

"Why would I? I wanted to get RID of my past, not get back in the middle of it." She sighed. "It's like moving here was a big mistake, yknow? I mean sure I met Alex but then there's all this... shit, and I keep meeting people I haven't seen in years and they're all trying to kill us..."

"No, we're not trying to kill you. NEVER kill you."

"Agreed. Hitpoints are docked for that sort of thing, you know."

"Okay, I heard Doobs say the same thing. What does that mean?"

"It means that whoever's behind this," Alex began, taking one of Aeon's rooks with his bishop, "Wants you alive, at all costs."

"...I'm not sure whether I should consider this flattering, or worrying."

"Eh, a bit of both. He says he's been waiting for a long time and he wants the complete set... whatever that means."

"...Complete set? What?"

"Don't ask me, I can't say anything more than that. I was only contracted to give you the ONE hint about HIM, not hints about who's behind it all."

"Damn."

"I of course won't be giving you a hint, if I win. If not, then... that's a completely different story."

"Stop rubbing it in, Fag."

"Shortie."

"Girl-stealer."

"Neglectful yandere."

"Michael Jackson."

"Okay, both of you, shut up!"

"Alright. Anyways, Alex... tell me a bit about youself."

Alex was feeling compelled to do such now. "Well, I'm your average guy really. Got a sister, two brothers. Upper middle class. I've got a job, but I'm kinda laid off right now... everything's been freezing up thanks to the cold."

"I see." He nodded. "You seem nice." He looked to Johanna now. "Have you heard any word from Louise, since you seem to be getting back into contact with everybody?"

"No, actually."

"Wait... What's her name?"

"Louise. Anna-Louise Martin. Why?"

"...I think I know her..."

"Really? Where does she work?"

"She kinda... owns a brothel down town. My mom and her are friends."

"...Wow."

"Well, that sounds like Louise alright." Aeon chuckled and took out one of Alex's knights with his queen."

"Yeah. It's amazing how you guys seem to like... know everybody... and it's kinda creepy how you're all right here."

"I swear it's a conspiracy, man."

"Conspiracy shmearacy. It's a coincidence."

"How about we all call it ironic and leave it at that?"

They agreed on that. The converation went on nonchalantly for at least an hour, until...

"Checkmate."

Alex gave a small grin.

"Looks like I win, dude."

Aeon was silent, surveying the board with wide, shocked eyes. Then he seemed to relax a bit, and readjusted his monocle. Johanna and Peter were already scooting back and away from the table.

Subsequently, Alex felt the sting of a chair against his face.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" He cried, "I LIKED YOU! D: I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE FRIENDS!"

"How the hell did you do that?!"

"DO WHAT?!"

"THE FACE, DUDE!

"I DON'T KNOW!"

There was another blinding flash of light, and the group was suddenly transported out of the apartment. Now they were in a massive colloseum, with people all around them. Their clothes were changed, and they wore loose, filmy white togas. The girls had their hair done up prettily, and the group sat right up front. Sam and Lucy were BSODing about Mario Party now. A horn was blown. Alex and Aeon both emerged onto the feild, in horse-drawn chariots. Alex was looking confused, and Aeon was looking fierce.

...And then two doors on the end were opened up, and out came two lions. Now Aeon's look of ferociousness faded, and he looked surprised. He looked over to Alex, and shouted, "Should we stop this one? I wasn't planning on lions!"

"Yes please!"

Another blinding flash, and they stood back in the apartment, exactly where they'd left it. Sam and Lucy stopped BSODing and started playing again. Aeon snapped his fingers, his clocksword appearing in his hands.

"Well, Alex? Don't you have a weapon?"

"...No!"

"Then what's in your hands?"

"...HOW DID YOU DO THAT." He stared at the sword that he was holding now.

"I don't know."

"YES!" Lucy squealed, "I WON!"

"No!" Johanna ran in between them, arms outstretched. "You guys can't fight like this!"

"...And here's what I was warned of... I'm going to regret this..." He leaned down and patted her head, before sending a hard blow to the back of it with the clock of his sword. He sighed. "It was better than having her run between us and getting herself killed."

The two disappeared in another flash of brilliant white as Lucy got up to go and help Johanna.

The two stood in the darkness, several feet away from one another. They couldn't see very well...

"Why's it so dark?"

"Let there be light."

"Wha-"

There was the flash, a huge bang.

"...Did we just witness the start of the world?"

"Indeed. Now, let's begin, shall we?"

With that, Aeon charged at Alex and brought his sword down. Alex was just able to stop a blow that most likely would have cut him in half by putting up his own swords. The two were locked in combat then, Alex's feeble attempts somehow keeping off Aeon's skilled thrusts. Around them, the world was formed. Around them, ships sailed, wars were fought, civilizations were destroyed, floods overtook Atlantis, Dinosaurs faded to dust and people arose with the dawn. It all lasted the span of a few minutes. Alex had been nicked on the shoulder, and wound have a long scar across his back soon, adn Aeon didn't seem to have anything.... until Alex got lucky. He dodged a particularly forceful thrust, and got around him quick enough to push his sword far into the gaps between the man's ribs. Aeon gave a small gasp, and, as Alex pulled his sword back out, fell to his knees trying to get his breath back. Alex stopped then, and grabbed his sword so that they couldn't fight anymore, tossing them away.

"I think I've won," he told him quietly, and rested a hand on his shoulder. Aeon fumbled with his pocketwatch, and the two appeared back in the apartment. Upon seeing them back, Johanna ran over. Her head still hurt a bit from the blow earlier, but she knew she'd be fine- her concern now was him.

"Oh my god," she whispered, staring at the wound. She was right in front of him and held him up just a tad as Lucy brought out towels('Blood? On MY carpet? NO.'). He gave her a weak smile, and, gently, softly, warned, "Don't break away... don't get between them... whatever you do, God, just don't get between them..."

At that point, he fell into unconsciousness.