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Secrets
Dec 2, 2010 14:02:27 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Dec 2, 2010 14:02:27 GMT -8
I'm disgustingly codependent. And sometimes I really hate myself for it. I'm the same way. I seriously am disgusted at myself for it. Yay, I'm not alone on this one. I've seriously gotten SO much crap for it from some of my friends, one of my buddies wouldn't shut the hell up once because I was worried about my girlfriend when she still lived with her mom, and went on a 'pussy whipped' rant for half an hour.
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Secrets
Dec 2, 2010 14:11:08 GMT -8
Post by Spectraitor on Dec 2, 2010 14:11:08 GMT -8
I'm the same way. I seriously am disgusted at myself for it. Yay, I'm not alone on this one. I've seriously gotten SO much crap for it from some of my friends, one of my buddies wouldn't shut the hell up once because I was worried about my girlfriend when she still lived with her mom, and went on a 'pussy whipped' rant for half an hour. That's called caring, or love I mean.
I do believe I'd be codependent too had I the chance. So yeah, that's my secret for all it's subtle implications.
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Secrets
Dec 2, 2010 14:25:40 GMT -8
Post by ?Ghostie? on Dec 2, 2010 14:25:40 GMT -8
-I'm jealous of my roommates daughter, because she (the daughter) gets to get out of the house, actually do things she likes and not get screamed at for 20 minutes for being a dumb ass. -A lot of my thinking consists of ways to harm myself, and hid it. -I've actually went though with the thoughts, and ending up hurting myself. I promised myself that I wouldn't do it again, but now urges to harm are getting worst, and it's scaring me so bad. - I'm scared of people when they decide to befriend me, I feel like I'll just let them down or piss them off in some way. -I just want to go out and get laid already, so I can get it over with. -I feel like a whinny bitch most of the time.
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Secrets
Dec 2, 2010 14:36:08 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Dec 2, 2010 14:36:08 GMT -8
That's called caring, or love I mean.
I do believe I'd be codependent too had I the chance. So yeah, that's my secret for all it's subtle implications. That was my argument but apparently 'love' didn't exist in this guy's vocabulary. It's a problem though, especially when I start getting freaked out if she doesn't come home on time, or doesn't call or something. I'm insanely paranoid of something happening to everyone I care about, so it's just taken to ridiculous degrees with her. It's just inconvenient and honestly, fuckin' embarrassing. And it pisses me off because I feel like not only does she resent me for it, but that she should because I'm probably holding her back from a lot of things.
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Secrets
Dec 2, 2010 14:52:14 GMT -8
Post by readerwritergirl on Dec 2, 2010 14:52:14 GMT -8
- When watching anime openings, I ALWAYS imagine a my-life-and-friends version. - I "stole" a book from my 6th grade classroom's reading corner. It was a Sabrina the Teenage Witch book. - I dislike hanging out with my relatives. I have an uncle who won't acknowledge me unless I have a penis and some jock cousins who only want to hang out with my brother. Everyone else, I like being around. - I don't like my mom too much. She's ruined my self-esteem since day one (I can't remember a time when she didn't call me fat, short, and ugly).
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Secrets
Dec 2, 2010 17:53:49 GMT -8
Post by Weed Candy (AwesomesauceSoup) on Dec 2, 2010 17:53:49 GMT -8
-I'm not codependent, I'm a parasite. -My sleeping schedule scares me. -I fear that absolutely anything, anywhere and at any time, can give me AIDS, HIV, herpes, or various other horrible, horrible things. I know it's illogical as all hell, but I cannot. Stop. Worrying. I'm almost afraid to put my legs under my desks at school because I'm afraid I'm going to get something from one of the various pieces of gum stuck under there. -Sometimes I feel like a gigantic, callous asshole for no reason. -The hardest thing for me to do is apologize. My ego doesn't allow it. I'd have to be confronted head-on, and it has to be forced out of me.
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Secrets
Dec 2, 2010 18:00:12 GMT -8
Post by aealo on Dec 2, 2010 18:00:12 GMT -8
Whenever people say they're embarrassed over the fact that they don't have a boyfriend and have never had their first kiss, I feel all awkward because I have a boyfriend and I've had my first kiss.
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Secrets
Dec 3, 2010 20:39:34 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Dec 3, 2010 20:39:34 GMT -8
-I'm not codependent, I'm a parasite.-My sleeping schedule scares me. -Sometimes I feel like a gigantic, callous asshole for no reason. -The hardest thing for me to do is apologize. My ego doesn't allow it. I'd have to be confronted head-on, and it has to be forced out of me. Kid, I think we were separated at birth or somethin'. I can't apologize either. I also can't instigate a "we need to talk about this" scenario worth a damn. Blame it on male pride or something,but it's damn inconvenient. As for sleeping, hey at least you're not my girlfriend. Fuckin' woman sleeps more than anyone I've ever known, and used to get pissed at ME for falling asleep early when I was still in college.
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kleptomaniack
Member
Russia: He gonna fuck you up! [Mo0:0]
Posts: 372
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Secrets
Dec 3, 2010 22:09:59 GMT -8
Post by kleptomaniack on Dec 3, 2010 22:09:59 GMT -8
I had a lot of issues, and was a fuck up (more so than now, the past few years have been easier due to meeting more people)
-I have a huge BDSM fetish...I secretly want to be a bondage model, but I'm also afraid of being bound. I like to dominate, and I have fantasies about bonding those I despise. But I'd like to be tied up by a sexy man or woman, and I've had this fetish since I was 5. It came from being restrained by a babysitter and being locked in my room. I hated it, but I was also...aroused. I was a 5 year old with issues that I'd rather not get into now.
-I tend to be cruel in judgements towards teenagers or people my age. I don't have many friends my age; most are at least 5 years older than me, and my best friends are college students. I have this unfounded hatred for my classmates, even when they have done absolutely nothing to me. It's like I'm Bella...I guess I'm just angry that I'm so different from them, that no matter how hard I try, I can't fit in or relate to any of their issues. I feel like I'm on the outside, and other adults have told me I'm too mature to be 17. Sometimes I agree with this, that if I were a little older, I'd be happier because I wouldn't be forced to associate with kids who haven't seen what I've seen or experienced what I've experienced.
-I attempted suicide twice: once when I was 12, but in front of my grandmother, and once when I was 14. At 12, it was more of an attention stunt; I was pissed off at how my brothers were favored by my mother, so I yelled about how no one loved me and almost stabbed myself in front of my grandmother, who's always been so loving to me and even favors me because I'm her only granddaughter. Goddamnit, I was a selfish twat! And at 14, I tried to hang myself because I was depressed (caused by my own stupidity and refusal to even try and make friends because I felt so awkward), but my brother came into my room to ask to borrow a game, and he stopped me. He was stronger than me (even now, but he was much stronger than me at the time, and held me down until I promised to at least think about what I was doing.) It was one of the few times I've ever cried in front of a family member, and one of the experiences that makes me realize how ungrateful I am for an amazing brother like him.
-I smoked a little when I was 13, but I never went beyond 2 cigarettes. Only my mother knows about it, and she secretly blames herself for keeping them around.
-In 1st grade, I beat up a girl almost to the point of hospitalization because I was jealous of how happy she seemed..how normal she was, and how her little group of friends singled me out and never associated with me because I "looked weird." I was tall and heavy and strong for a 6 year old, and I was quiet, so I was automatically a freak. My teachers did not like how "backwards" I was, so I hated myself and everyone throughout elementary school (it got worse in middle school, moving around a lot didn't help)
-I've stolen small items from the houses of people who used to invite me over for parties. They were usually parties in late elementary school where the parents forced the kid to invite me, and I would pilfer a few things for the hell of it. I eventually returned them secretly by stuffing them in the kid's backpacks.
-I sometimes wish I were a nomad, living off the land, living by my own rules and answering to no one but nature. It's that part of me that doesn't want to be controlled because I was pushed around a lot growing up and got revenge in all the wrong ways.
-The only reason I seem normal is because I was extremely lucky in my first year of high school to have met my current best friend. She's in college now, but we got along really well. We were both quiet, and we both grew up in broken homes. But she knew how to cope with all this shit and not get invovled in smoking or violence, mainly because her father actually enforced a strict moral code. My dad was strict, but he is never around, and my mother was a hypocrite who now lives her own life, free from any family responsibility. She got me through my depression and made me see that someone could love me for who I was instead of simply using me. She got me into reading and photography as creative outlets for stress instead of violence and martial arts.
-I'm secretly glad my parents divorced. Not that I want them to be alone, but it wasn't a healthy marriage, looking back on it. They were both career-oriented, but their personalities were polar opposites, and they never really regulated what we did. My awesome brother turned out normal and healthy by pure luck; the other one is an internet addict, and the only reason I got past many issues without a fucking expensive therapist was because I found people who helped me when I needed parents the most, and I was tired of being a bitch all the time.
So yeah...
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Champion Cynthia
Member
[Mo0:1][mu:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCd4pccHCfU]
Posts: 788
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Post by Champion Cynthia on Dec 4, 2010 7:44:25 GMT -8
I'm overly scared of something bad happening to my girlfriend. I worry about her constantly, and it only gets worse if she doesn't text for a while.
I'm afraid I'm getting really clingy because of this.
I attempted suicide twice within the same year, both times when I was 14. I haven't done it since.
I found out that I was diagnosed with depression at age 8 and have had it since.
I'm overly afraid of dying of a medical-related cause (like a disease or something going wrong during a surgery or something.)
I'm also afraid of dying in a car crash. :/
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Secrets
Dec 5, 2010 13:40:44 GMT -8
Post by aealo on Dec 5, 2010 13:40:44 GMT -8
I fucking HATE having visual & hearing hallucinations.
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Post by nchaos on Dec 6, 2010 9:59:27 GMT -8
I'm overly scared of something bad happening to my girlfriend. I worry about her constantly, and it only gets worse if she doesn't text for a while.
I'm afraid I'm getting really clingy because of this.
I attempted suicide twice within the same year, both times when I was 14. I haven't done it since.
I found out that I was diagnosed with depression at age 8 and have had it since.
I'm overly afraid of dying of a medical-related cause (like a disease or something going wrong during a surgery or something.)
I'm also afraid of dying in a car crash. :/ Heyyy...someone else who's clingy. Awesome. We're not the only ones! Oh, and I'm fucking terrified of car crashes too. Which sucks because I love road trips so much, but half the time I'm always wicked paranoid something's going to happen.
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MeghanJH
Persistent Member
[Mo0:1]
Posts: 2,175
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Secrets
Dec 6, 2010 10:49:08 GMT -8
Post by MeghanJH on Dec 6, 2010 10:49:08 GMT -8
I hate my boyfriend's family. If I could kill his grandparents and get away with it I would.
I get terrified at intersections while I am driving. It all goes back to when I was in a car wreck at an intersection when I was four.
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Secrets
Dec 6, 2010 12:25:11 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Dec 6, 2010 12:25:11 GMT -8
^Hey, I feel the same way about almost all of my girlfriend's family, especially her fucking mother. Goddamn, I hate that woman more than almost anyone.
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MeghanJH
Persistent Member
[Mo0:1]
Posts: 2,175
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Post by MeghanJH on Dec 7, 2010 4:15:13 GMT -8
^Hey, I feel the same way about almost all of my girlfriend's family, especially her fucking mother. Goddamn, I hate that woman more than almost anyone.
Want to join up in a killing spree?
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Post by Lord Lovrina on Dec 7, 2010 4:19:50 GMT -8
I haven't had a crush on someone in over a year...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2010 8:20:26 GMT -8
The reason I haven't made any friends in college? Because I don't like anyone at college.
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Post by nchaos on Dec 7, 2010 8:45:08 GMT -8
^Hey, I feel the same way about almost all of my girlfriend's family, especially her fucking mother. Goddamn, I hate that woman more than almost anyone.
Want to join up in a killing spree? You get the van, I'll get the wood chipper, and we'll start a party!
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MeghanJH
Persistent Member
[Mo0:1]
Posts: 2,175
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Post by MeghanJH on Dec 7, 2010 9:18:33 GMT -8
Want to join up in a killing spree? You get the van, I'll get the wood chipper, and we'll start a party!
I'll do you one better, my boyfriend has a huge ass suburban!
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Secrets
Dec 7, 2010 11:04:02 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Dec 7, 2010 11:04:02 GMT -8
Oh shit, that's even better. And NO one suspects a suburban!
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MeghanJH
Persistent Member
[Mo0:1]
Posts: 2,175
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Secrets
Dec 7, 2010 12:01:26 GMT -8
Post by MeghanJH on Dec 7, 2010 12:01:26 GMT -8
Oh shit, that's even better. And NO one suspects a suburban!
Yep!
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Secrets
Dec 8, 2010 10:37:26 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Dec 8, 2010 10:37:26 GMT -8
AAAAAAAANGST I'm really kind of hating myself for gaining a bunch of weight since I graduated. I miss my pilates class, damnit. And I really kind of want to stop eating all together, but I know I can't because I'm a goddamn fat kid and I cook too good. Fail.
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Trueblade
Persistent Member
She's in this bus. You might as well switch lanes. She's crazy.[Mo0:10]
Posts: 1,394
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Secrets
Dec 8, 2010 18:59:32 GMT -8
Post by Trueblade on Dec 8, 2010 18:59:32 GMT -8
Whenever I encounter someone that is extremely talented, has great fortune, or skilled in anything that I'm interested in, etc., I never feel inspired. In fact, I lose all inspiration because of them and they make me feel like shit.
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Quickster
Persistent Member
Yeah, yeah, yeah.[Mo0:1][mu:http://tinyurl.com/4kau5zt]
Posts: 6,493
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Secrets
Dec 9, 2010 20:28:58 GMT -8
Post by Quickster on Dec 9, 2010 20:28:58 GMT -8
I just sneezed. Not much of a secret, right?
I was eating a subway cookie at the time, and it spat up onto my floor. I called my dog in to eat it up and he did.
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Secrets
Dec 9, 2010 23:44:15 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Dec 9, 2010 23:44:15 GMT -8
^ That's kind of hilarious. I used to feed my dog potatoes out of canned soup because I hate taters. It was cute.
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Kookie
Persistent Member
geddit cuz im goffik
Posts: 3,151
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Secrets
Dec 10, 2010 16:47:54 GMT -8
Post by Kookie on Dec 10, 2010 16:47:54 GMT -8
A part of me misses working for tech for my school's play of Fiddler on the Roof, but I think most of the cast (and some of the crew) were horrible people.
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Catalpa
Persistent Member
A full minute of stunned silence means "My God, what did you do?" not "Please continue."[Mo0:0]
Posts: 1,294
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Secrets
Dec 11, 2010 21:10:56 GMT -8
Post by Catalpa on Dec 11, 2010 21:10:56 GMT -8
>.>
I have a bit of a crush on one of the guys in my DnD group. Which I'm not happy about because I have a boyfriend who I'm very happy with, thank you very much hormones. Just because I haven't seen him in a couple months doesn't mean that you can just up and start looking for a replacement, guys. You suck.
But on the bittersweet side, I'll probably never see him again after this week. Which sucks because he's a great friend, but is good because I don't enjoy having feelings like this when I'm taken.
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The_Yellow_Fox
Persistent Member
You are TEARING ME APART, Lisa![Mo0:13]
Posts: 1,305
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Secrets
Dec 11, 2010 21:39:49 GMT -8
Post by The_Yellow_Fox on Dec 11, 2010 21:39:49 GMT -8
I am extremely happy that I am on holidays. Mostly because if I had to spend another week at school I would probably slit everyone's throats.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Secrets
Dec 12, 2010 14:51:10 GMT -8
Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2010 14:51:10 GMT -8
I find I can never say no to a man until it's too late.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Secrets
Dec 12, 2010 15:42:40 GMT -8
Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2010 15:42:40 GMT -8
I am extremely happy that I am on holidays. Mostly because if I had to spend another week at school I would probably slit everyone's throats. Are we the same person? Most of the time I'm cranky. I don't think sleeping changes a thing. Even though I getting some nice sleep lately.
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