Let's Ruin a Wish!

[readerwritergirl]

How this game works is the post above you makes a wish and you have to ruin that wish. Then you make your own wish, and the poster after you ruins your wish, makes their own, later rinse, repeat.

EXAMPLE
First Post: "I wish unicorns were real."
Second Post: "Granted. Unicorns are real. On Mars. I wish I didn't have homework."
Third: "Granted. Now you have a test instead of homework. I wish I had a house made out of cookies."

To start things off, I wish I wasn't so lazy.

[Mononobe Witch]

Granted, but everyone else in the world is really lazy now.

I wish that I had something vanilla flavored.

[47]

Granted. It's Vanilla Ice flavored, to be precise, because his dismembered corpse is in it.

I wish I were more motivated.

[G-Viral]

Congratulations, you now aspire to be the next Hitler and will stop at nothing to achieve this goal.

I wish for a popsicle.

[Kookie]

You get one, but it's melted. You decide to eat it anyway. Too bad, it's poo-flavored.

I wish I was more outgoing.

[Jeremy Hilary Boob, PhD]

Granted, but everyone thinks you're a douche.

I wish there was something good on TV.

[TrippedUp]

Granted, but your service provider doesn't have the channel.

I wish I had a good paying job for after school.

[Anya the Purple]

Granted. Have fun i the coal mines!

I wish I wasn't behind on NaNoWriMo.

[joseph]

Granted, but you write something worse than all the Twilight books combined.

I wish I had ten thousand dollars.

[Anya the Purple]

Granted. You're imprisoned for stealing ten thousand dollars.

I wish I wish that I can have two wishes the next time I post.

[joseph]

Granted, but they're the previous two wishes before your last post in this thread and their after-effects affect you as well.

I wish I was bulletproof.

[PoisonClaw]

Granted. You become incased in piping hot molten metal, severly buring about 90% of your body while covering you in a hard metalic coating. You are now mostly bulletproof.

I wish I could type faster.

[joseph]

Granted. You develop the worst case of Carpal Tunnel in history and your fingers fall off.

I wish I could see the future.

[avarice]

Granted, though you can only see the future of those you don't know.

I wish I could fly damn it!

[Darth Sariah]

Granted, You can fly... Microsoft flight simulator 2010 edition!

I wish I had the power of a god.

[Deleted]

Granted. You are now the God of small annoying things.
I wish my hair wouldn't stay this length.

[licorice stick]

Granted. All of your hair falls out and you're bald.
I wish I were a rock star.

[Deleted]

Granted. Now no one lkes you because you can't sing or play anything.

I wish my state would stop cutting Theatre budgets.

[joseph]

Granted. Now they're cutting everything else.

I wish for nothing.

[Anya the Purple]

Granted. you're sucked into a void and suffocate.

I wish I was a wizard.

[Deleted]

Granted. You immediately get killed by Voldemort for being a muggle born.
I never want to see that guy again.

[Darth Sariah]

Granted! You never will... because you're blind now.

I want to wake up dead.

[avarice]

Granted, you are now a zombie who's legs have rotten away, congratulations.

I wish I could play the piano.

[kleptomaniack]

Granted, but now your deaf, like Beethoven!
I wish I was rich.

[Deleted]

Granted. You get murdered for your wealth b y a jealous family member two days after you become rich.
I wish it wasn't so COLD!

[readerwritergirl]

Granted. Now it's BOILING HOT OUTSIDE. The glaciers are melting and then we get ANOTHER ICE AGE (Al Gore~).

I wish I could fully breathe through my nose (have a cold).

[Darth Sariah]

Granted! Your nose is completely clear and you can breathe freely! Which means with the loss of mucus you lost one of your major external defenses to diseases, parasites, dust, pollen, ect. and come down with all kinds of nasty infections!

I wish I could design a full virtual reality pokemon game.

[Deleted]

Granted. Since it's so realisitc, you get paralysed for life.

I wish my skin would clear up.

[PoisonClaw]

Granted. It's now so clear, it's transparent. No one can see you to remark on your skin.

I wish my homework could finish itself.

[avarice]

Granted, though it's poorly done and is very similar to someone else's so you get blamed for copying/cheating.

I wish I could move out.