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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 9:14:30 GMT -8
Once upon a time there was a ten year old girl teenager named Ego Carnation Marion Ellis. She didn't make friends with people her own age because she was a high-functioning autistic tragically awkward and clumsy. Her only friend was a local dentist, doctor, Jonathan Kybard, who was 36 years old, going through a painful divorce, and frustratingly unable to get along with his peers very mysterious, looked like he was seventeen but was actually an Immortal, and had been practicing dentistry since the 1600s, when he turned into an Immortal (he describes lots of modern procedures he was using way back then, although very little research is actually done.)
Things turn strange when Nawrocki, the psychic plant/animal from South Carolina evil Immortal who lusts after Marion, steps into the picture. He and Dr. K had a run-in when Dr. K was a kid, which left him in a bad way. Now Nawrocki is back and Dr. K can't get rid of him. Nawrocki promises Ego Marion a future, filled with friends and a chance to go to college which she can't see herself getting into because of her condition true love. But all he really wants to do is hurt the people around him have her fall in love with him.
In the end we all learn a valuable lesson about extending kindness to others, even those who don't deserve it, and how you can offer help to people without being a doormat and being taken advantage of, as well as how friendship finds its own way, and that an adult-child friendship, with the proper boundaries, can be a healthy thing true love.
Also there is no charm. But I'm not entirely sure that there's any to begin with so I didn't strike anything out.
etf typo
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apatheticwhim
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In other words, SHE'S EXACTLY MY TYPE![Mo0:0]
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Post by apatheticwhim on May 23, 2011 11:55:08 GMT -8
If Smeyer wrote the series I'm working on, here's what changes she would make: -First of all, Madeleine would be changed into a guy because we can't have her have one sided lesbian affection for Celia. -Jagger would constantly angst about his sibling (now brother)'s death instead of saying that his brother was stupid and sacrificed his life for a stupid reason (Protecting Celia, a girl that he doesn't know) -Faith wouldn't have problems controlling her magic, despite the fact that she wasn't born in the witch realm. -Eira's family of summoners wouldn't have a problem with the fact that she's friends with Faith, who's a witch, and there wouldn't really be much of a feud between witches and summoners. -Eira wouldn't go insane when she realizes that Faith is human. (Summoners and witches hate humans, as well as each other.) -Celia and Jagger would be in love, and instead of becoming stronger over the course of the series, she would constantly rely on Jagger to save her. -Hazel and Wendell wouldn't hate each other at first. They would fall in love instantly. -Undine, who is also in love with Wendell, would be made into a total bitch because she's in the way of Hazel and Wendell's TRUE LOVE. -Elicia would angst about how she would have to use Isaac as a virgin sacrifice in order to go through the Forbidden Gate because she LOVES HIM, instead of being indifferent about it (She's an aristocrat, and he's a commoner). -Roderick Stride, the man who uses them all to become a power rivaling that of the Higher One, wouldn't be evil, having some kind of virtuous motive behind it or some crap like that.
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Post by Chaotic Neutral on May 26, 2011 20:58:12 GMT -8
Well, for one, the mc wouldn't be my "normal, non-special human best friend", but rather the common "poor girl who finds out she's actually some long-lost princess of a magical kingdom", since that's the basic character archetype Meyer would go for. My oc probably be written out altogether or reduced to vague unimportant secondary status, assuming she isn't outright made evil and jealous of the princess for whatever reason and either reform or die by the end--probably both since she's human and unworthy anyway. So yeah, basically falls back into the basic story archetype that's been done hundreds of times before and would hardly be special or notable.
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Philophobia
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Post by Philophobia on Jun 8, 2011 10:36:54 GMT -8
I never noticed how many Twilight related names I had in it >_>
* Jess's parents wouldn't mourn over her "death", or care that she fled the country * Cam wouldn't be gay * Caitlin and Rabb would be in an incestous relationship (going in the direction that all the Cullens date each other) * Caitlin would have died * Gildroy would be a deadbeat alcoholic * Charlie would have violently raped Ghost (if she's be pregnant as a result, not entirely certain...either way it would suck to be her) * Seth wouldn't have died in the exposition * Jacob, Abby and the other campers would have joined Gregory's army, or died horribley * Jess would have married Tom * Bear's tribe would be shapeshifters, not spirits * The wars would have more than likely never happened (In which case, the story never would have happened) * Edwin and Marie's positions would be reversed. Marie would abandon the empire, while Edwin takes control of the village and the military; as well as taking part in the war. (Because everyone knows that women are weak and men do all the grunt work!) * Crank's mental illness would cause him to go on a killing spree * Kennedy would be either be a loud mouth bitch or stupid, rather than one of the sole intellectuals. * Jess's inner struggle to help the vampires or to honor her history (Gregorian) would be nonexistant. * Amanda would have lived (She would either be more over the top than she was to begin with, or the same) * Everyone would be Mormon (There are some theistic overtones, but everyone's mostly agnostic, deistic or spiritual. The only time we really get religion is when when the villiage festivals occur or when Gregory talks about his experience in Hell...or anything relating to Gregory's cult) * The allusion to Twilight towards the middle or so of the second "book" wouldn't be mentioned. * All the vampires (regardless of their age) wouldn't look a day over 35. [It's a little creepy when a vampire is 1100 years old and looks 25 rather than something such as 65] * Erin, Charlie and Casey would have gotten away with their crimes
------------ Other Story:
* Jamie and Dillion would have been a couple, because she's suddenly male dependant. * No bisexual/gay/lesbian characters (There goes at least half the main cast) * Alex would have been only a worker; not having any use in helping the team. His former drug abuse wouldn't be mentioned, and they would have never found the military base. * Ziggy's eating disorder would be nonexistant. (Everyone knows boys can't have issues!) * Jake wouldn't be an alcoholic or in love with Jamie; but obsessed with her cousin Cassie. * Dillion's past would be blown out of proportion, and be over the top insane. * Kenny wouldn't be blind; or at the very least killed in the dog attack. * Angus would be a religious extremist * The zombies would have had super human powers (magic zombies)
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Post by Prime Spinosaur on Jun 8, 2011 20:14:50 GMT -8
Dear God...
Okay....
Lost Children
-The setting wouldn't be a post apocalyptic future where corruption is everywhere. -It would be in modern times. -Tyler Craft, the young 11 year old boy with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissociative Personality Disorder would not be the protagonist...and would own a van. Hell, Tyler would probably not even exist. -The new protagonist would be Berra Goose, a fourteen year old highschool girl. -Mana would be going to this highschool, and still have two eyes instead of getting one of his eyes ripped out. -Berra and Mana would have a cheesy romance. -Mana would be a creepy stalker, and instead of his reality warping powers slowly killing him, he would be invincible! -Ulfr, the main antagonist, instead of being an intelligent and deceptive villain that combines charisma, power, and intelligence into one nasty sociopathic package, we'd get a mustache twirling villain who doesn't like Berra that's incompetent and doesn't know how to do anything right. -Also, Mana would be able to transform people into Transhumans so that Berra could become one. -Transhumans themselves would be basically Sparklepires II. ...I ... I really don't think I can continue. I'm raping my own work that helped me through depression.
...Now I'm depressed again.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2011 21:41:59 GMT -8
I just write songs and poems in my free time. I think she'd turn "Black Blood" into three-part Eddy/Jakey smutty series. I don't know how, the fucking thing's about the Armin Meiwes case. She'll probably have it (poorly) translated into English. She'll also turn Armin Meiwes into a vegetarian.
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Post by Anya the Purple on Aug 11, 2011 13:52:03 GMT -8
If Meyer wrote this year's NaNo (haven't got a title for it yet...)
-Colin would probably act the same only more annoying (like Jamie in "The Host.")
-Joselyn would be older than Colin, rather than them being twins.
-Instead of Colin being the prophecy child, Joselyn would be.
-She'd try do make Alaevis the way I hope to make him, but instead of being traumatized by a life of hardship and the torture his best friend went through (and subsequently being unsociable, somewhat brooding, and rude), he'd be a jaded prince charming stalker. Who sparkles.
-Rather than slowly realizing she needs to let Colin live his own life (a la Finding Nemo), she instantly forgets about him, making him irrelevant to the plot.
-Joselyn, not Colin, would end up with Alaevis. And it would be TWU WUV AT FIRST SIGHT, rather than a slow process in which he learns to come out of his shell and trust people.
-Senera wouldn't die. Nor would the rest of his species besides Elami. Hell, Senera and Elami might not exist.
-The actual plot would take second place to Joselyn and Alaevis angsting over their twu wuuuv.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2011 23:38:00 GMT -8
- Aenûr would go from being 21-years-old to being 17, would not be a city guard with ambitions toward military, would not be overly violent and rash, and would respond to the death of her mother with endless New Moon -esque whining instead of momentary desperation and then blazing fury. So, basically, her entire character would go out of the window in favor of Meyer's classic self insert. She'd be shitty at wielding any weapon, would hang around uselessly and follow the two male leads without any goals of her own. The murderer of her mother would just sort of be dealt with, instead of him being vital to Aenûr's emotional climax. - Cavân would be Aenûr's love interest of choice. Technically this is true in my book as well, but instead of being very subtly hinted at, then denied and unexpressed for all of the book, it would be the most obvious thing ever and the two would hook up as soon as they'd meet. Cavân would not be spoiled or arrogant (or, at least, those traits would not be intentional), and he'd look much more elven than human (being a half-elf 'n' all). - Eadan would be the third bit to the love triangle. He'd be about 20 years younger, good-looking, not blind (or, if blind, have magical abilities that allow him to see BETTER than anybody else), not two-faced (intentionally) or antisocial, and instead would be the slightly rougher version of Cavân. His affections would never be subtly hinted at, but insanely obvious. - No one could remain unpaired. In the end, Eadan would find himself some random woman to fall in love with, elven general Fera'el would hook up with her human ally, elven birdmaster El'rin would hook up with another elf, and no one would die. Not Cavân, not El'rin, nobody.
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Mia Garossa
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Post by Mia Garossa on Aug 12, 2011 3:05:19 GMT -8
Well, since I came up with a potential storyline:
No names until I come up with them!
- He would be a controlling ass who thinks he's the boss of Her and would feel inferior and useless as a human being and falling in love with her beauty and nothing else - She would just be described as "the most beautiful creature to grace the room" instead of a mad demon with no sense of good or evil, and would describe how "delicately" she would sink her teeth into Him for his blood on a daily basis. It would also be considered a romantic act or a basis for their romantic development - Executor would be a nihilist bastard stereotyping weak humans and killing what Meyer would consider lower class (aka bitches and hos and pimps) - Everybody else human is an expendable character and has no relevance to Meyer's book universe
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Post by annabellamy on Aug 14, 2011 3:21:36 GMT -8
If she was writing 'The Ferryman':
- Bermuda would be a permanent merman and wouldn't become human again when he steps onto land - Kevin would instantly become a god and not develop into who he needs to be in order to become the god - Skuld would be a sparkly angel and not the 'cold, dark' Norn of the future (the Norns are like the Fates) - Gabe would be Gabrielle and there would be no homosexuality at all - Ryan would not have a preference for masculine-looking girls which leads him to realise that he is in fact gay; instead, he would like the average-looking girl who everybody fawns over but nobody asks her out for fear of rejection, but he would ask her out and live sparkly ever after - Marcella would not be kidnapped - Loki would not be asleep through most of the book and have the dreams which help him uncover the majority of the Ancient Fable; he'd wake up and instantly know everything without logical explanation - Ron would not like documentaries; he'd like reading and would never actually read - Matt would not have dropped Italian and French for Fine Art and Photography; he'd have stayed with them and passed without studying - Odin would not turn into a Siberian Husky (<3) He'd turn into a multi-hued wolf and would not have to face the agonising decision of whether or not to stay a dog and abandon his family or stay Askind and be constantly trapped between mental states - The vampires would have none of the biological/mythological attributes I posted about in the Writer's Circle; they'd sparkle - There would be no physical references and allusions to some of the greatest philosophical and Gothic literature known to the world - The book would not be called 'The Ferryman' (even though this is the working title) It would probably be something like 'Turning Moon' or some SLT
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Post by Anya the Purple on Aug 14, 2011 8:12:59 GMT -8
^Sounds like a cool story.
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Post by annabellamy on Aug 14, 2011 12:07:18 GMT -8
^ Thanks! Now that I think about it, I doubt that Marcella would even EXIST in the story.
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MeghanJH
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Post by MeghanJH on Aug 15, 2011 7:24:17 GMT -8
For the story Stolen Beauty I am currently writing
- She would make Rhoswen adhere to the modern virtues of womanhood
- There would be no nude fighting (what? The characters are ancient celts. Nude fighting is part of their way of life)
- The fairies would be portrayed as fully good and kind instead of also portraying the dark side of fairies.
- Tynan would be devoid of a personality
- Rhoswen would give up her vow to only marry someone stronger than her just because of how good looking Meyer would make Tynan
- The only aspect of Rhoswen's name that would matter is that it means "white rose" and because of that Rhoswen is beautiful. (Although it is more of a reference to her thorny personality rather than her looks)
- Rhoswen's parents would probably still be together
- Rhoswen wouldn't have her severe trust issues anymore
- Rhoswen's brother wouldn't die
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Post by Kaza999 on Aug 15, 2011 8:10:06 GMT -8
Heck, this might make a fun alternate universe arc or something...
-There would actually be romance
-Alice would no longer be a lesbian
-David, not Alice, would be the person most often in charge
-Alice would be exalted as strong, but really be a whining pansy who can't keep her head in an emergency
-Deborah would be twenty, not thirty-two, and be a far more successful GP at a fancier hospital
-Joseph would be braver and substantially more boring, and his insomnia would be hot
-David would be thirty instead of forty-six
-The villains wouldn't be all female, at least one of them, probably Maria, would be male
-Nobody would be above thirty years of age except Sofie.
-Iza would be totally honest and would have no ulterior motive.
-The Director would be ugly because she's the villain.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2011 9:51:09 GMT -8
If SMeyer wrote 'Clans'? Well...
- The main male character, Hollis, would more or less stay the same, since he hasn't been fully carved out yet. The only things I think SMeyer wouldn't like so far is that he's an underage drinker and that he's had drunken gay kisses. Oh, and he's probably going to end up being a cusser. No "Holy Crow!" here. Hollis would probably be dying to be turned into a vampire, instead of unwillingly bitten at the beginning of the book.
- The main female character, Maggie, wouldn't be as psychopathic and morbid as she is now. She wouldn't have bipolar disorder, nor would she have a love of guns and weapons. Since she is a vampire, she'd probably end up sparkling instead of catching on fire in the sunlight. Maggie also wouldn't be bisexual, and wouldn't have used her vampiric powers to seduce several women in the past for a one night stand, then end up drinking their blood in the morning. She would have less lust for Hollis, claiming it's "true love". There'd still be the stalking, but it'd be put in a positive light.
- The main lycanthrope, Leah (oh hush I created her before I even knew about Twilight <_<), wouldn't be able to be killed by silver bullets. She also wouldn't go totally insane when the full moon rises. She would probably be in love with Hollis instead of them being friends. Leah wouldn't be nearly as intelligent as I've put her (more nerdy than anything). She'd most likely be a whiny little bitch like Bella.
- Callie wouldn't be a lesbian anymore. She'd actually most likely be omitted from the story, since she's a succubus.
- Callie's girlfriend, Camilla, would probably be omitted, as well.
- Callie's twin brother, Ash, wouldn't be as belligerent and as nostalgic as I'd like him to be. He'd most likely turn out to be the pretty boy, jerk ass, abusive stalker for his girlfriend, Willow.
- Willow wouldn't be as strong as I'd want her to be. She'd be a pathetic little whiny bitch who would have to be saved by Ash at every turn. Willow wouldn't be a cop, would like books, and wouldn't have her snarky attitude anymore.
- Terra wouldn't have black hair and blue eyes, opting instead for having brown hair and brown eyes. She might be a psychotic eight-year-old who's being raised to join the werewolf world once she's eighteen. She'd be more of a ditz than being naive if Meyer created her.
- Linnea would be a warrior whose main mission in life is to serve the Overlords (aka higher-power, Nosferatu-esque vampires), but would act more as a guard than a servant. She'd probably have a really creepy mind rape power like Jane or Alec, too.
- Romance would be the main focus of the story, instead of it being a minor subplot. The war between vampires and werewolves would probably be cut out, since Meyer hates her characters being killed.
- The vampires would sparkle, and their main weaknesses (stakes, fire, etc.) would be gone. They wouldn't have to be invited into one's home, choosing instead to simply crawl in through windows whenever they please, since that's what Meyer seems to prefer them doing.
- The werewolves wouldn't be called 'lycanthropes'. They'd probably be 'shapeshifers' like in Twilight. They also couldn't be killed by silver bullets or by flames. The werewolf curse also wouldn't be transmitted by bite, and they would look more like actual wolves then man-wolf hybrids.
- None of the characters would be psychopathic. They might still be stalkers, though that might be romanticized as 'twu wuv'.
That's it for now. <.< More might be added.
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apatheticwhim
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In other words, SHE'S EXACTLY MY TYPE![Mo0:0]
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Post by apatheticwhim on Aug 17, 2011 12:14:24 GMT -8
Hm, with another project I'm doing...
-All the golems would be pretty, beautiful, etc, and there wouldn't be golems that look like rusted hunks of metal. -Dr.Cast wouldn't be a madman cyborg who wants to have sex with his daughter Lizzie, the last full human, in order to produce more humans just so that he could experiment with behavior to fulfill his sadistic fantasies, but be a strong and handsome man who's in his late teens/early twenties. -Lizzie wouldn't be Dr.Cast's daughter whose emotions are tampered with throughout his experimentation, causing her to lose her memory after escaping the facility, but she would be a teenage girl who thinks only of her new love interests: Gizmo Giya and Dr.Cast. - Gizmo would be male, and fall instantly in love with Lizzie, instead of questioning what it means to have emotion as she slowly acknowledges that her newfound feelings are love, as golems are like robots in this story and take time to develop emotion. - The conflict would be non existent, as Gizmo wouldn't have the ability to shoot electrically charged bullets from her arm as that's "OH NOEZ TOO VIOLENT", and as mentioned before, Dr.Cast would be much more handsome and crap, and would be able to reproduce with Lizzie as the idea wouldn't be incest any more. -^ Because of this, Gizmo and Dr.Cast wouldn't be looking for and fighting over the lost data files to make a healthy human clone.
So basically, she'd tear it to shreds and replace it with a crappy love triangle. XP
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2011 22:30:38 GMT -8
Let's see here well since I have not really completed a story of mine yet but here are elements that SMeyer would purposely do to ruin my stories (Some of these only apply to some stories while others apply to all):
-All the gay/lesbian/bi/etc characters would be eliminated. -The ninjas would sparkle -All the characters with "super powers" would be invincible and nothing could kill them. -The main characters would be Mary Sues/Gary Stus. -One of the main characters would be so "in love" with the "love interest" that if the "love interest" would not love him/her back then they would be depressed and suicidal. -The main characters would always be reliant on another to "protect" them and without the other character, the main characters could not even defend themselves or willing to do anything without them. -The Protagonist would be egotistical and care for nobody but themselves even if the supporting characters have been nothing but helpful. -The Antagonist could be easily defeated. -No violence and everyone would just "talk" their way out of a bad situation. -Being able to travel anywhere on the spur of the moment and to do pointless things while in different countries. -Others characters who are in love with the "love interest" will be considered to be "bitches", "jerks", and "people to just use when it is convenient for the protagonist". -The Protagonist would be bitching and moaning about every little thing and not bothering looking for a solution to the problem. -The Protagonist would play the "victim" card and would always think that bad things that happen to them are like a gigantic tragedy and we should all show pity and feel sorry for him/her.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2011 11:43:14 GMT -8
Let's see... - The vampires would be sparklepires. - Enrique, Max and Nate would feed off animals instead of humans. - Enrique wouldn't kill hunters and humans for money or blood. - Alana would be a speshul snowflake and would be gorgeous, but refuse to accept it because she's so PLAIN. - The angel would be a stereotypical angel and look down and/or kill the gay characters. - Said gay characters would would probably be removed or conformed. - The villians would be useless and would just want to "talk it out" instead of actually killing. - Alana and Enrique would get together instantly. - She'd find some way to fuck up Jensen like she did with Jacob. - Nuuu bodeh must die! D: - She'd mash incubuses and vampires together. - She'd do the same with shapeshifters and werewolves. - She'd find something to mash witches up with. - No aliens allowed! - Ricardo, a main villain, would probably be ugly and jealous of how speshul Enrique is. - Alana would be a damsel in distress. - Enrique would be controlling and stalkerish, but that would be just fine. - The most attractive vampire wouldn't be extremely vain, and every female character would try and jump on him. - Said vampire wouldn't get disfigured.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2011 2:16:38 GMT -8
Hm...If she rewrote one of my manuscripts...
1. All the vamps would be sparkly 2. The Archangels would be very much like the Volturi 3. The Angels would like to kiss ass to the Archangels 4. Zyarre wouldn't mutilate her wings but be a super emo queen and be all like "I love you Israfel, please don't leave me!!!" 5. Israfel wouldn't be a blind idiot and fall in love with another Angel that turns out to be a traitor. No, he would be all "I love you Zyarre!!!" and the conflict of my story wouldn't even exist 6. Israfel would practically abuse Zyarre just to keep her safe 7. Autumn would fade into the background and not play any role 8. Uriel would also fade into the background along with his mate Autumn 9. Dailanar would just focus on killing Israfel to get to Zyarre. 10. Dailanar and Zyarre would be full Archangels. 11. Dailanar wouldn't rape Zyarre to get her powers. 12. Zyarre wouldn't dare to fight Dailanar. 13. Israfel gets to kill Dailanar, not Uriel. 14. Zyarre wouldn't get disfigured for a while after being burned to almost death by Dailanar 15. Zyarre would be such a girl, and not tomboyish
Ugh, just thinking about how she'll change so much about my story makes me want to blow chunks.
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Mononobe Witch
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Post by Mononobe Witch on Oct 8, 2011 19:20:06 GMT -8
For my upcoming Novel Idea Killed Magic if Vengeance.
-My main character Carole would hate everyone because they're human, even her best friend.
-The scenary would be describe with loads of purple prose.
-Made up bullcrap about Manitoba.
-The two witches involved would be immortal and invincible.
-They would be male warlocks and Carole would fall for both of them.
-Inaccurate information of Taoism and Buddhism.
-She would give up her dream of going to College and end up being a doormat.
-Unintended, yet blatant homoerotic interactions with the female characters.
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EarthDragon88
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Post by EarthDragon88 on Oct 10, 2011 10:14:37 GMT -8
If she wrote Darkness Among Light:
-Felicia's backstory would have a more prominent role and full of inaccuracies. -Jack would be Felicia's lover rather than a thrall (someone used by a vampire to make their lives easier) and his alchemy would not have as prominent a role or would be used as a shortcut for things that Meyer doesn't want to deal with. -Half the plot would not be set in a Catholic Boarding school (there is a deliberate role reversal in here) -Kiara would've been found dying by Felicia in a hospital rather than Kiara offering her blood in exchange for leaving her sleeping parents alone. -Kiara would be someone's doormat rather than a fiery and independent young woman. -Leila wouldn't be the crafty roommate she turns out to be, but shallow, vain, and bitchy for no real reason. -Cameron would be a sociopathic bastard rather than a guy in an identity crisis. He'd also treat going out with Leila like it's a joke. -Cameron wouldn't be bi -Kiara would have stupid reasons for not being out in the sunlight (other than something logical like a sunlight allergy, which she claims to have). -Vampires would sparkle -Everyone would be borderline emotionless (and I don't mean the ones who are meant to be) -Overdose of purple prose and lack of technical knowledge (Kiara has a passing interest in architecture) -Kiara would have no ambition (she wanted to be a forensic scientist) or significant hobbies (she reads crime fiction, draws, and used to do drama before she was turned)
I'm scared now...
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PiedPiperPluto
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Post by PiedPiperPluto on Oct 10, 2011 15:29:15 GMT -8
If Meyer were to write the webcomic I'm currently planning out:
-One of the two main characters, probably Iggy, would be a girl. And instead of being a Badass Normal with a crowbar, Iggy-turned-Izzy would be a whiny, useless little 'speshul snowflake'.
-Asexuality? The fuck is that? Everyone is straight!
-Not only is everyone straight, everyone must go no farther than chaste kisses! So no more sharing a bathtub, Iggy/Izzy and Mark.
-The Lovecraft Lite elements would be reduced to some people having 'powers'. And instead of coming with horrible changes to one's body (such as tentacles sprouting out of places tentacles do not belong), these 'powers' would only have the side effect of sparkliness and overwhelming wangst.
-Mark wouldn't be a short, long-haired, feminine-looking guy with a liking for the occult and tropical fish. He'd be tall, have no actual hobbies outside of stalking Iggy/Izzy, and spend most of his time moping.
-The actual plot would be replaced by Mark and Izzy staring into each other's eyes and wangsting about their forbidden love which is not actually forbidden by anyone.
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Demeter
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Post by Demeter on Oct 10, 2011 20:17:41 GMT -8
If she wrote my story...
- Everyone would be straight. Lillian wouldn't be asexual, Galina and Faith wouldn't be lovers, Felix wouldn't be bisexual.
- Felix wouldn't get his girlfriend pregnant before marriage. Lillian would have to marry him after Melody died via childbirth.
- There would be no (accidental) incest. Naomi and Lillian wouldn't even see each other as attractive. They might not even find out that they're half siblings.
- Lillian and Felix wouldn't agree to an open/polifidelious relationship. Once they get married, they would immediately fall in love with each other.
- Lillian's mother would be on death row for multiple counts of infanticide. She would probably get hit by a car and die instead. Much angst (or not) would ensue.
- St. Jude's would be cut out, both the school and "psychiatric hospital," because turning teenagers into psychic super soldiers and experimenting on them is gross. So Faith, Naomi, Galina, and Emily wouldn't even be in the story.
- Lillian, Galina, Faith, Emily, and Naomi would all be really upset that they can't have kids.
- Lillian would prevail against Morana.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2011 3:49:49 GMT -8
Oh GOD! I don't even want to think about that! But here's what she'll probably do.
-Instead of the story being based around the Khazar race (An actual original idea that was never written about before) It would be the "vampire" race instead.
-The enemies of the "Vampire race" wouldn't be the religious people of the West such as the Jews, Christians and Muslims who are trying to missionize them and destroy their culture, oh no, this time their enemies would be the "Werewolves."
- My main character Shai-Lang, along with her two female companions Emelia and Nadia would be completely devoid of flaws and will all be total perfect Mary-Sues.
-Shai-Lang would eventually discard her two best friends in order to persue an epic romance, hell she would abandon her whole journey just to find love! Because according to Stephanie Meyer, love is the be-all and end-all thing that all girls should strive for. Nope, no more epic adventures for Shai-Lang, instead she'll give it all up just to be with her beloved. Yes, even if it means abandoning her race which means the world to her.
- Forget about Shai-Lang, Emelia and Nadia being kick-butt fighters! Meyer would just turn them into damsels in distresses who could only be saved by their "big strong love interests." Shai-Lang wouldn't even like fighting anymore! (Which is a big part of her personality.) She'd just turn into this super girly girl whose only goal in life is to get married and have babies.
-No more overly confident and somewhat big-headed Shai-Lang, oh no instead she'll morph into a wallflower who has extremely low self-esteem, something that's a character trait of EMELIA! NOT SHAI-LANG! Oh but apparently according to Stephanie Meyer, it's not good for lead characters to be too egotistical.
-All the religious themes in my novel would be completely removed considering Meyer's a Mormon.
All in all, my series would be butchered but I'm not too worried about Meyer ever getting her hands on it, considering how uneducated she is in basic writing skills, she's probably also uneducated in History and hasn't even heard of the Khazars.
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shiko
Persistent Member
Turn me to ash and give me back to nature. After all, to the universe we are specks of dust.
Posts: 2,029
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Post by shiko on Dec 23, 2011 20:03:16 GMT -8
- The cast wouldn't be all male - The characters back stories would be turned 180 watered down so much that is would be half assed - The vampire would be an emo, asshole over the death of his sister which was decades ago in the story line. - Dr. Rei = would be a girl (and go from imp to human) - Stan = would be so special that he wouldn't need the help of his friends to survive. -Brick = would not even exist (he's a hell hound) -Lance = Would not be a orphan and becomes native American (and become a girl ) -Taylor= ... Let me not think of such things that are tools for nightmares to build homes (becomes a girl as a well) -Vampire-sensei = The same as above.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2011 23:43:47 GMT -8
Well, seeing how Linewalker subverts many of the standard "Paranormal Romance" tropes, it probably wouldn't be too hard for her to twist the story to suit her needs (this actually makes me really sad...). For example: - The "vampires" would be Meyerpires and usurp the focus of the story from all of the other mythical beings.
- The fairies would probably be turned into Tinkerbell clones, as opposed to being the eldritch horrors that they are here.
- The queer/POC characters would be either erased or made into stupid caricatures. (Bye half of my cast!)
- Antonio would have a ridiculously thick Latin accent (because Spain = Latin America) and all of the Irish characters would speak in a heavy brogue.
- Lina, the main character, wouldn't be working in the morgue because dead bodies that don't sparkle aren't sexy.
- She and Antonio would fall in love at first sight, even when Antonio was trying to eat her. Taking several months in order to build comfort and mutual respect for one other? HA!
- Antonio would have already been a "vegetarian" vampire, as opposed to being cursed into it.
- Lina would have the most delicious-smelling blood in the whole world and that would be the only reason the vampires want her.
- Antonio would end up having to save Lina over and over again, instead of the opposite.
- Lina will have no human friends and will never let her family know just what the hell is going on with her.
- Either Sebastian/Suzy will fall in love with Lina/Antonio and the next three books will focus on that love triangle.
- The Second Mage War never happened because Amelia healed Maksim with her
vagina love.
- Nothing will be mentioned about the vaguely incestuous relationships some of the mages have with each other.
- Character development and proper research into various mythologies shall be defenestrated.
Now if you excuse me, I have to go cry in a corner.
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Damasca
Member
At the end of the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are, death awaits you.[M
Posts: 406
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Post by Damasca on Dec 27, 2011 6:18:08 GMT -8
My hero would be the most attractive guy around, he'd sparkle and be able to talk people into not fighting him and then talking his unmarried unwed mother into letting him rule the world because she's a woman and only exists to pop out babies and be married.
Most amazing story ever. /giantobvioussarcasm
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2011 21:20:44 GMT -8
MMVP would never exist. All the main characters are strong females, all of them are intertwined with each other in some kind of lesbian relationship, and the main villain is an eldritch abomination.
SMeyer would ruin all that.
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Captain Victoria
Persistent Member
My oolong heals, and your dealer deals for quite a hefty fee. So I self-medicate with tea.[Mo0:13]
Posts: 1,119
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Post by Captain Victoria on Dec 30, 2011 17:12:48 GMT -8
Chaucer ((lol I'm "clever")) wouldn't be a half-Elf. He'd be an Elf without a somewhat disfiguring scar; he's be beautiful and gorgeous. He and his grandfather wouldn't have gotten into a fight wherein Chaucer leaves their safe-house in the mountains. He wouldn't go from town to town and city to city helping people and bettering lives. He'd walk around and brood, thinking about how these people were such sad things - wasting their pathetic human lives. And when Chaucer -would- get to King Reynold and state his peace, the good King would not kill him for treason - he'd hand over the crown! And Chaucer wouldn't have dark skin - he'd be white.
McAlister wouldn't be sexist, racist, and somewhat homophobic; this man would not learn and change by the end of the novel. He would not die. Instead, he would be sullen and brooding. His collection of ceramic unicorns would also be nonexistent. He would be gorgeous his "dull, matted black hair sloppily pulled into a ponytail" would become "ebony tresses framed his masculine face, the cascading locks, black as night, caressed his features gently". Eugh... e_e
Aniela's goal of regicide would not be driven by hatred and revenge. In fact, should would travel with Chaucer and McAlister because she has no ambitions of her own and would be an Elf (because humans are icky). Her hair would be "a cute pixie cut" instead of "a short, ragged haircut obviously done by untrained hands". Her tattoos would be intricate and ostentatious instead of simple and symbolic. She would not be a lesbian - in fact, she, McAlister, and Chaucer would probably have a love-triangle going on. She and McAlister would also get along too nicely.
Meeko would probably be a werewolf (excuse me "Shapeshifter") instead of a well trained Irish Wolfhound. His name also wouldn't be Meeko. It'd be something idiotic and pseudo-medieval.
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