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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2011 17:19:55 GMT -8
We had "What if SM wrote your favorite book", "What would SM think of your work?", and "What if your favorite author rewrote Twilight"
but really, what if SM took your concept, either for a fanfic or an original plot, and did it her way?
WARNING: This might cause us all to cringe a little >A>
Well, since I started, I might as well go first. Starting with my DMC fic <.<
- Nero wouldn't be a ghost wandering the living world in agony, he'd be a vampire lurking in the shadows,
stalking watching over Kyrie.
- Kyrie wouldn't get raped, she'd be rescued RIGHT ON TIME
- Gloria wouldn't comfort a crying Credo, it would be the other way around.
- Nero and Dante wouldn't be atheist, they'd still consider there being a God and constantly ponder about redemption.
- Dante and Kyrie would fall in WUB regardless of the fact that Dante's 30-ish and Kyrie's 17
- This love would spark a love triangle and an angry rivalry between Dante and Vamp!Nero
- Credo would just be there as a parental unit and serve no further purpose.
- Gloria wouldn't be a bodyguard, she'd be a caretaker and serve no other purpose than to help Kyrie into her dress and be all motherly.
And would only speak when spoken to
- All the bloody violence would be strictly "off screen"
- Credo and Gloria wouldn't have sex, they would just cuddle, or sit there and talk about their feelings.
- Every male character would be described over 1,000 times as beautiful, save for Agnus, who would be constantly described as horrendously ugly.
- Agnus won't rape Kyrie and try to kill her, he'd just try to turn her into a vampire.
- Dante would return Kyrie home, where they confess their love, and Credo would approve immediately, even though Dante murdered the Vicar at least a few days ago.
- Lady would be an Uber-bitch with no redeeming qualities and be renamed to "Harpy"
- Dante and Kyrie would get married and no one would question the age difference, and they would somehow find a magical potion to keep Kyrie young forever. Vamp!Nero would then fall in love with their baby.
And now for my original story (is it bad that I find this more funny than cringe inducing?)
- Alexander wouldn't ask Rose if she wanted to go to a parade, he'd drag her by her hair and force her to come with him. Or just breathe on her and pressure her to come with him.
- Rose would be totally clumsy and modest, not cynical and introverted and traumatized.
- Alexander and Rose would be in TRU WUV.
- Rose wouldn't boss Alex around, and if she tried, he would laugh in her face and say she was 'Adorable' when she was angry.
- Rose wouldn't be bent on revenge, she'd constantly be on the run.
- Rose wouldn't overcome her fear of confrontation, she'd end up being too sweet to take a life.
- Alex wouldn't have an obsession with dolls, he'd be obsessed with CARS. (And store his captured souls in car engines)
- Antony wouldn't be a middle aged detective/journalist, he'd be a teenage werewolf.
- And this would mean he'd immediately fall in love with Rose.
- Rose, even though she's xenophobic and doesn't even like people touching her, would be enrolled in school.
- And on days she was busy looking for the man who wronged her, her excuse would be "camping"
- Her parents wouldn't be dead, they'd be in a different part of the world, traveling.
- Alex would watch her sleep every night, because rushing into her room when she's screaming from a nightmare wouldn't be romantic enough.
- Rose would constantly try to force Alex to sex her, but he'd be totally chaste about it.
- Alexander will only give her sex if she gives him her soul.
- Alexander wouldn't kill Rose and take her soul, she'd be too "special"
- Rose would be so weak that even though she vowed to kill the man who wronged her with her own hands, she has to have Alex do it for her.
- Antony wouldn't die, he'd simply run away in agony.
- Because Rose suffers from so much trauma, she'd lay in bed all day and sob and sob and not even consider moving on.
So, now it's your turn, yes, you. Go for it. and remember, have fun, if you can. and pray that SM never does write our work for us >.>
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Post by annabellamy on Mar 16, 2011 9:46:16 GMT -8
Well, The Nightmare Man is pretty gruesome, and the only relationships are a homosexual relationship and a fuck-buddy relationship. Those would be the first things she would change. And the rest follows:
1. Matt would not soak half of Greenwich Park- he would land safely and enjoy a picnic... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BRITISH WINTER. 2. Richard would be the only one with developed powers. 3. Everyone would forgive Thom. 4. Isabel would become Isabella, and we all know how THAT would turn out (for Asgard's sake- there are four books devoted to that topic!)
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 10:19:04 GMT -8
It would be completely unrecognizable.
- Romance now gets a much more prominent place in the story. - What's that? Religious conflict? Not if I have anything to say about it! - VERY important plot point regarding a lesbian character will be changed/removed. - Most of the violence toned down/removed. - Daciana wouldn't be as mentally unbalanced and would probably be a Sympathetic Sue. - Christine would probably be Markus's love interest. I'm not sure how she would deal with the age difference, but... I'm sure there's something there. - I'm not sure how the hell she would handle the second book... probably make all the humans seem EEEeEeeVIL and all the Elementalists angels... - Remove the "questionable morality" parts of the story (except as a device to fuel FORBIDDEN LOVE). - Finley would have some sort of stupid rivalry with Markus.
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Post by readerwritergirl on Mar 16, 2011 11:35:30 GMT -8
Smeyer writing my myth story. I can imagine this...
- Sharon would be totally and utterly reliant on Enea. Made even worse that she's in a wheelchair. - She'd fall in "love" with Enea instead of just developing a close friendship. - I imagine Enea, a reckless, arrogant, free-spirited centaur, becoming a broody and emo horse guy. - Chase (the second human hero) and his side of the story would be TOTALLY thrown aside. - Alec, a sexy man-faerie villain, would become a good guy. (oh god, no) - My side lesbian couple (mermaid x human) wouldn't exist. - The hero-group would be TOTALLY accepted into the mythological group. - There would be no upcoming war, government controversies, and bloodshed. - Ismene would be frail li'l mermaid instead of the knowledgeable but shy mermaid (with a liking for fire). - Vampires and werewolves would be the heroes.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2011 14:02:23 GMT -8
- James and Charlotte would fall in TWU WUV instantly and live happily ever after. - Above characters would never fight. EVER. (This is impossible for me to comprehend.) - Subject Zero would 1) not have multiple personality disorder and 2) would probably still be superhuman, but not the only one in existence. She'd probably not be able to destroy all life on the planet if she isn't careful enough, either, because all of these things are things she has to DEAL WITH, and we can't have that! - Freya wouldn't have been locked up by Jessamine for most of her life. - The reason that Freya could talk to James telepathically would either be because Freya is a SUPER PSYCHIC VAMPIRE or that her and James are MAGICAL CREATURES that can do this. - If the above happened, more MAGICAL CREATURES would come into the story. - Sapphire wouldn't be a dead, tortured soul, she'd a happy helpful angel who will help everyone! - Danika wouldn't be an evil bitch. - There'd be a love triangle between Freya, James and Charlotte. *headdesk* - The Consecutive December Disasters would not happen. - No one would die. Although I don't like my own plot, I don't want this to happen to it. It would become completely UNREADABLE.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2011 4:46:59 GMT -8
She'd probably turn my fantasy story into some weird romance story. It would probably go something like this: - Reyn and Eiras would be romantically involved. I'm just gonna cry to that... - It would be love at first sight. *headdesk* - Zebe would not have been Eiras friend, but her dead ex-boyfriend. *double headdesk* - Eiras would not be dead; the goddess would’ve made her an angel or something instead. - You would not travel to and from the Abyss by dying. You’d teleport or something. - Eiras would wangst about her dead family WAY too much. (all the time, probably) - Since SMeyer can’t foreshadow to save her life, Ci’Né’s going to reveal everything that’s going on in a monologue when he first shows up. - Ci’Né has never actually killed anybody. Or if he has, no one cares. - Meera Cerbocha wouldn’t be captain of the guard, Reyn probably would be and she’d be his servant or something. - If Reyn isn't captain of the guard, he'll have the highest rank and is admired by all. - Eiras would barely be able to do anything herself and Reyn has to save her constantly. - Reyn would not respect Eiras’s choices and constantly forces her do what he wants. - Eiras would have no problem wearing a dress. In fact, she’s secretly always wanted to, but her Inyeran upbringing stopped her from doing so because she did not want to feel weak. - Eiras would think she’s strong, but in actuality she useless in combat and needs a strong man to save her... - ...except when she gets magical power which she’s able to use immediately, and then has no problems defeating anyone. Except Reyn, because he’s always stronger. - Reyn would be really pretty, really tall, and act as Eiras’s protector. Eiras would have no problem with this. - He would also think that Eiras was adorable trying to swing that sword around. At best, he would teach her how to use the weapon properly. - Eiras would want to go in hiding when Ci’Né shows up, instead of finding and killing him. She’s too scared and weak to fight him. - Reyn would not be a just normal guy trying to help a young woman in a very strange situation, but another one of the “angels” (sigh…) who wants to protect Eiras instead of killing her because of his TWU WUV for her. This would end up with them having to kill each other either way, but they somehow find a completely illogical way to circumvent this and be together forever. - In the end, it will turn out that the Eyines didn’t kill Eiras’s friends and family; they just took them prisoner for no reason other than to keep them alive. Because we can't have dead people. That's just the first part of the story, but already it's destroyed beyond recognition. Writing this almost made me cry. I just more or less destroyed the whole concept of the story.
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Mikashi
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Post by Mikashi on Mar 17, 2011 8:45:59 GMT -8
For the Engraved:
Veran would pretty much stay the same, considering that he is one of the biggest douches I've ever written (he is like that for a reason, tho'). Except he'd be a broody vampire without real fangs. And he'd sparkle/shimmer.
Annalise would be Veran's lover instead of a cousin, and she'd want to be a vampire. She'd be a lot more whiny, and she'd be jealous whenever Veran talked with someone of the female species. Oh, and she'd be clumsy.
Jasmina, a side-character, wouldn't be engaged to Ryan (who barely even has an appearance), because he's kind of geeky. But instead be dating a fellow police officer Zacharia, who is a total womanizer (and she hates him.) Not to mention Zacharia would probably be a werewolf in disguise. And Jasmina would in actuality be a parastic alien who took control of her host, and she'd probably be infertile.
The antagonist of the story would not be a religious cultist, because religion is a big no-no! But instead, he'd be an ancient vampire/alien who wants Annalise to be his food/respective partner.
Instead of taking place in a made-up world, Gaize. It'd be set on Earth, on the western coast, and them travelling around the world will be taken out. They wouldn't be taking on cases for revenge, it'd just become a whole melodramatic, "romantic" story where all Annalise wants is to be a vampire, and have Veran's dick inside her (I just cringed writing this, dear lord.)
I hope SMeyer never finds my story and then makes fanfiction for it. It'd make me seethe.
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Post by Ozymandias II on Mar 17, 2011 15:56:34 GMT -8
For my warped fairy tale that's currently in the Writer's Circle section of this site: -the wolf would not eat the little girl; he would imprint on her and kidnap her to marry her later *shudder* -she becomes a werewolf through the power of TWU WUV and does not kill anyone -no oh-so-family friendly moral at the end
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Post by Anya the Purple on Mar 17, 2011 18:21:17 GMT -8
It wouldn't exist, because it's all fluffy slash-filled fanfics.
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WolfGod
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Post by WolfGod on Mar 18, 2011 0:54:10 GMT -8
It wouldn't exist, because it's all fluffy slash-filled fanfics. Echoing the first half of that sentence. I've only put romance into a couple of my works. The first was just planting the seeds of it like Miyazaki does and leaves the audience's imaginations to decide where it would go after that. The second was actually using it as a device to amplify the horror. Specifically, in a werewolf screenplay it ends with the husband and wife characters becoming werewolves themselves. The transformation also brings about a shift in their psychology, causing them to view the entire world through a lens of predator/prey dynamics. Their struggling marriage is saved and they're more in love than ever, but they're now also shapeshifting sociopathic killing machines who see everyone as either food or eventual food. Neither path sounds like one Meyer has the inclination or the talent to attempt. Everything else I right is either satire, horror or suspense. She can't even construct a knock-knock joke and has demonstrated little capacity for critical and analytical thinking, so satire is out. She doesn't read or watch horror and completely deballed all the monsters in Twilight, so I don't think that will be happening any time soon. And since the pacing of her books is measured not in acts but in geological epochs, I think it's safe to assume that she won't be writing suspense in the foreseeable future.
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Post by Lil' Raskol LobLaw on Mar 18, 2011 10:05:42 GMT -8
I think my novel, You Ever Watch A Car Wreck, would be completely ruined.
-Josie would be a weak, helpless girl while Riley would be changed into a "strong" man. -Rachel would be a goody two shoes who angsted all the time. -There wouldn't have been a school shooting, instead, it would be something supernatural, like fairies or something.
And the book would be melodramatic and an overzealous piece of crap.
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Tim Willard
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Got pen, paper, booze, and ink, it's time to write.[Mo0:3]
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Post by Tim Willard on Mar 20, 2011 6:31:33 GMT -8
The Diaries of Becka would be completely ruined:
- BECKA: Instead of suffering pangs of self-confidence because she's a civilian who's doing her best to help the military fight the zombie hordes, she'd be suffering from a lack of self-confidence for stupid things that don't really affect the plot. She wouldn't be a thick bodied powerlifter who never had time or inclination for girly stuff, she wouldn't take 4 books to realize just how much she loves Greg, she'd instantly know.
- GREG: Rather than being a self-confident US Army Ranger with 20 years under his belt, confident, strong, quick thinking, and possessing integrity, morals, compassion, and empathy, he'd be an abusive jerk who rationalize everything he does as "In Becka's best interest".
- BUCK: A mafia hit man? Wouldn't even be in the book. SMeyer would leave him out.
- ROBERT: Robert would be a kind compassionate doctor, not a paranoid schitzophrenic with homicidal tendencies who's lost his grip on reality when he isn't operating.
- SAM: Would be completely helpless without Becka around, and probably would have starved to death, unable to open a can of Pork & Beans. Since he's a County Sheriff, and we know SMeyer's opinions on them, he'd be completely ruined.
- SYLVIA: A CIA/DIA military interrogator with a straight razor? We wouldn't see her lose her humanity, she'd be the Bitch-Sue, who is always wrong because she doesn't believe Becka.
- THE ZOMBIES: Probably wouldn't rot, would ponder philosophy, would just want peace on Earth, and probably shit unicorns and faeries. They'd be the Ubermensch, while the humans would all be shown as blood thirsty killers who don't understand that the zombies are a higher life form, and thus should be allowed to devour humans alive and screaming.
Shit, that list makes me want to put a gun in my mouth to see what gun oil tastes like.
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Post by dictatorofengland on Mar 20, 2011 14:02:38 GMT -8
My ever changing and untitled story!
* Main character is a blonde girl? Oh no that must change, she must be a pale brunette because all blonde girls are shallow bitches. * Posession, it would be a lot prettier and main girl would turn into a damsel in distress. She wouldn't be a horribly disfigured and mutated version of herself that foams at the mouth...she'd probably just get creepy eyes or something. * Main guy would be a vampire. * Main girl and guy would have a love story that consumes most of the plot. They establish their love fairly quickly and were both virgins before meeting eachother. She must describe him constantly in creepy detail and they would end up getting married and having a speshul baby. * Main girl's best friend exists purely to kiss her arse. She buys her gifts and takes her shopping and is super super quirky and fashionable! * Said best friend's relationship with her boyfriend is only barely touched upon so they can be a beta couple to the twu luv main couple without distracting attention. * Another character who is very blunt and honest must be a bitch and therefore shall be a bitch, she must be turned blonde too. She's mad and bitchy because she can't have children, that is every woman's dream after all! * The various disfigured, rotting, things that keep showing up to kill everyone would sparkle and be totally misunderstood. The actual violence for the most part would be toned down. * Everyone has a thing for main girl even though she insists she's plain. * Less sarcasm and horror, more angst and romance. Main girl must angst to the extreme and everyone around her would feel sorry for her and love her. *Nobody important dies.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2011 14:20:53 GMT -8
Okay, I haven't actually written much of my current story so much as planned out characters and settings, but I can think of a few things: * The attractive and rich evil boy wouldn't turn out to be evil. No, he would just be misunderstood! Also, he would angst a lot.
* The main female character can't have a distinctive personality. No one would be able to relate to her that way!
* Said female character wouldn't ever have sex with her boyfriend.
* There would be no gay/lesbian/bisexual characters
* The story wouldn't have nearly all of the main characters die at the end.
* One of the characters would need a complete overhaul. She wouldn't be a 74-year-old woman who looks like a 74-year-old woman. No: she would be immortal and eternally look 16 because old people are boring! Also, she would be a doormat rather than the most intelligent and capable woman in the story.
* The method to become immortal wouldn't involve using the life forces of innocent people.
* Main girl would be pretty, but insist that she's plain because that way she's totally relatable!
* There would be a lot more focus on the main male character's looks. In the real story he is highly attractive and multiple girls are interested in him, but written by Stephenie Meyer this would be referenced on every single page.
* There wouldn't be a downside to using magic (except for evil magic!)
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Post by Jean-Thomas Renault on Mar 21, 2011 0:07:49 GMT -8
Well, the book I would like to write would be an alternative history novel series in which the Roman Empire never existed, and was destroyed by the Republic. So let's see...
-Cicero wouldn't be a major character because he doesn't have abs like Taylor Luatner. If he appeared in the book at all, she would mock him and present him as a stuffy politician rather than a great statesman and senator. -The Republic would lose the civil war, and Octavian, Agrippa, and Mark Antony would usher in the Triumvirate, then the Empire--which would fucking defeat the purpose of alternate history. Why is this? Because Meyer sides with force and mere strength over principle. -What would be a complex psychological and romantic relationship characterized by strength with a little manipulation between Antony and Cleopatra would merely be ruined, replaced by doting high school-esque drama. -Antony would be a dark, mysterious, and wimpy shell of himself rather than a bold daredevil, roughed, exiled general of legions and Consul of Rome. -Similarly, Cleopatra would be nothing more than a damsel in distress who was incompetent and helpless as opposed to the fierce and commanding Queen of Egypt she was in reality. -Octavian would be a hollow character, too, and everything he wanted would fall into his lap. He would be a spoiled brat, yet Meyer would make the hero seeking vengeance for his uncle's death. -Brutus and Cassius would be reviled as the murderers of Julius Caesar rather than as praised as reluctant heroes trying desperately to save their moribund Republic. There would be no complexity as to their motives, it would be a black and white issue of murder--exactly the way they're described now by revisionist and ancient pro Augustus historians/propagandists. -Readers would be able to find numerous historical inaccuracies since she wouldn't even a minimal amount of research. -Slavery and class warfare among by the patricians and plebians would never come up--not even in a neutral context.
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WolfGod
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Post by WolfGod on Mar 21, 2011 0:46:30 GMT -8
Well, the book I would like to write would be an alternative history novel series in which the Roman Empire never existed, and was destroyed by the Republic. So let's see... Dude, that's being optimistic. Given her allergy to research, general incompetence, and childish tendency toward hyperbolic exaggeration, we would have to count ourselves lucky if she limited the most atrocious inaccuracies and fantasies only to having Cleopatra secretly be the goddess Aphrodite, Marc Antony riding into battle on a velociraptor, Brutus turning into the Hulk, and Spartacus leading the slave revolt with his powers of telekinesis and shooting fireballs from his fists.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 3:39:36 GMT -8
^...I'd read that.
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Post by Jean-Thomas Renault on Mar 21, 2011 10:17:51 GMT -8
Well, the book I would like to write would be an alternative history novel series in which the Roman Empire never existed, and was destroyed by the Republic. So let's see... Dude, that's being optimistic. Given her allergy to research, general incompetence, and childish tendency toward hyperbolic exaggeration, we would have to count ourselves lucky if she limited the most atrocious inaccuracies and fantasies only to having Cleopatra secretly be the goddess Aphrodite, Marc Antony riding into battle on a velociraptor, Brutus turning into the Hulk, and Spartacus leading the slave revolt with his powers of telekinesis and shooting fireballs from his fists. LOL! Unfortunately, I'm inclined to think you're right on the money. It would be some cheap Hollywood flick dime novel. Yet I imagine that even if Meyer made Cleopatra a goddess, she would find a way to make her weak and needy. And Meyer would definitely go on to say how beautiful she was ad nasseum. And hell, even though Spartacus was dead by 71 BC and this takes place in 43 BC, I'll bet she would find a way throw him in there, too, since she probably has little understanding of chronology.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2011 11:52:06 GMT -8
Well, what I'm working on would take far too much research for poor Meyer, so she'd just make stuff up. The main characters have to atone for their actions, immortality is used as a punishment, the characters are shaping up to be mostly well rounded, the one weak female character is portrayed as just that "spineless". There are guys and girls who are friends and care for one another deeply without it being romantic. The characters are not Mormon, most of them are agnostic, and very little of the book focuses on romance. I'm still outlining(which we all know Meyer never did) but I'm planning on having a lesbian, the protagonist is a blonde chick(THE HORROR!), and humanity is what saves the world in the end.
Basically? It would never exist in Meyer's world. She'd take one look at it and throw it in the fire.
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Post by Madame Celeste on Mar 22, 2011 9:22:17 GMT -8
*takes deep breath and braces herself* Oh, I can certainly name quite a few things that she would change with my offsite RP's storyline. (If you've read my posts on "What would SMeyer think of your work?", you'll know which one I'm talking about.) And frankly, the mere prospect of her setting foot anywhere near it is sickening, and you'll see why below. To be more thorough, I'm going to pick apart each of the characters in this RP being played to date, and give what exactly SMeyer might write differently about them; this includes my co-GM's characters and all other characters as well as my own. BLUE=I play this character.RED=My co-GM plays this character.YELLOW=Another player plays this character.NOT DONE YET!!!Part 1: The Chakra Knights (the main heroes of the RP)Amanda Yao (Knight of the Heart): Cheerful, optimistic Amanda would most likely be reduced to a whiny, clumsy little twit not unlike Bella Swan herself. SMeyer would probably keep the part about her being a cheerleader, but the stereotypes associated therewith would be taken to sickening new heights, with her being stuck-up and uncaring toward her human peers in general.
Dante Hikari (Knight of the Soul): She'd definitely keep the part that Dante is very wealthy and that his family owns a prominent multi-million dollar corporation, even though the actual work that he has to do on a regular basis to keep said company in top shape would be largely ignored. But his whole characterization would be tossed out the proverbial window, as SMeyer would most likely turn him into the angsty, manipulative Edward to Amanda's Bella.** On that note, Dante's powers include invisibility and intangibility, which SMeyer would just LOVE to exploit in order to make him a creepy stalker loyal boyfriend acting out of TWU WUV. (**PS: Dante is 19 years old, and Amanda is 15. Pedophilia, anyone?)
Kyle Tangaroa (Knight of the Body): First and foremost, since SMeyer herself admits to doing practically no research in her writing, her depiction of Kyle's Maori heritage would be riddled with all kinds of stereotypes and factual errors, which would irritate me to no end. He'd most likely end up as the Jacob in a WUVVY-DUVVY WUV TWYANGLE between him, Amanda, and Dante, and since he's not particularly rich, chances are she'd have Dante ultimately win Amanda's heart.
Alinair Huntsman (Knight of the Mind): Alinair's player describes her as a generally friendly social outcast and a strong believer in the Dr. Seuss quote, "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." SMeyer would see fit to do away with this, because in her sheltered mind social outcasts are simply not friendly. To that end, Alinair probably wouldn't even be one of the Knights to begin with, and she would otherwise be turned into an all-around bitch, as well as possibly made out to be noticeably ugly or plain-looking or something like that.
Jace Nightwind (Knight of the Spirit): Jace's main backstory is that he was once a soldier for the Nation of Aridor (the main bad-guy group of the RP) but that they betrayed him and nearly had him killed once they learned that he was one of the Chakra Knights. SMeyer would probably omit this storyline in its entirety, since it basically has far too much moral conflict for her special-snowflake mentality to handle, and beyond that he would serve no purpose other than to glorify the relationship between Edward and Bella Dante and Amanda. Part 2: The Herald Guardians (a small team formed by one of the two good-guy groups to protect the Chakra Knights)Shawn Tangaroa: Being Kyle's older cousin, Shawn's Maori heritage would be similarly trashed and stereotyped in SMeyerland. In addition to that, she would definitely see fit to discard Shawn's backstory altogether, much like she would with Jace's story, since it involves too much gang violence for her tastes. (Basically, when he was a teenager his uncle - Kyle's father - was a police officer murdered in the line of duty by a group of thugs working for a prominent drug lord in their area. After this, Shawn reluctantly agreed to join the gang in exchange for protection for the rest of his family, only to leave the gang and go to the police after they tried to recruit Kyle.) Instead, Shawn would most likely side with Dante in the aforementioned love triangle, most likely even going against Kyle for this same reason.
Uriel: This is unknown to the other characters as of now, but Uriel is a sylph, which in this RP are a race of beings who live in the Void Between Realms and protect the realms' protective barriers from being torn down. SMeyer would probably rewrite Uriel and the sylphs in general as being angels or something along those lines, which may or may not be a good thing depending on how she writes it. However, the friendship he has with fellow guardian Ace (see below) as well as their mutual backstory would most likely be toned down or even discarded because she might think that they are too close to each other, even though there really isn't any yaoi or other non-family-friendly aspects between them to speak of.
Ace Cooper: Let me just start by pointing out that Ace is an actual published character from an old TV show, and this fact was accounted for in the RP storyline, so SMeyer could quite easily end up being sued for using him in her ripoff to begin with. But let's assume for analytical purposes that this wasn't the case. Ace's basic story in the RP is that his native realm was invaded and conquered by Aridor; Ace himself was rescued by Uriel, but not before he developed amnesia due to injuries he sustained during the invasion, and he now loyally serves as one of the Herald Guardians alongside Uriel and, later in the RP, Shawn. In addition to omitting a considerable amount of this storyline, perhaps saying that he left his native realm of his own free will to be a guardian (which would completely ignore the psychological repercussions of leaving all of his loved ones behind), SMeyer might also conclude that Ace is "not dedicated enough" to his mission as a guardian (even though he's been shown to take said mission almost too seriously at times) and thus decide to change him into a borderline pedo-stalker. Part 3: The Domini (Leaders of the Resistance against Aridor)(NOTE: The Domini each have titles corresponding to the Seven Holy Virtues, but the virtues of Temperance, Charity, and Patience have not been claimed yet, and thus will not be included in this list.)
Gilberto Hikari (Chastity Domini): Like his son Dante, he would still be very wealthy and run the family's company, but any and all actual work needed to manage the company would be swept under the rug. His backstory that his 12-year-old son (Dante's brother) murdered his wife and tried to kill him, and that he (Gilberto) went missing since then while he was recruited into the Domini, would be pretty much omitted, with his wife still being alive, except said wife would be written as an airheaded, unassuming housewife, with Gilberto being written as a glorified wife-beater.
Carl Hellwing, a.k.a. Shadow (Diligence Domini): SMeyer would omit the part about him being drafted into Aridor's service following their takeover of the realm he grew up in. (Which, might I add, is well over HALF of his entire backstory!) Consequently, the part about him being a double agent in Aridor's ranks would be either discarded or simply tacked on as an afterthought without explanation.
Qiang Yao (Mercy Domini): SMeyer's handling of Qiang (Amanda's mother) in particular would really grind my gears, if only due to the fact that Qiang's characterization was in many ways inspired by my real-life mother. First of all, SMeyer would NOT make her the faithful-but-independent wife/mother who joined the Domini primarily to protect her family from Aridor. Instead, Qiang would be reduced to... **groans**... a mindless, Stepford-ish housewife with no will of her own save for the demands of her husband. Also, assuming SMeyer even gave her a career to begin with, she would probably end up as a maid or nanny or something like that, instead of being a resident vet at Central Park Zoo like she is now.
Ryan Knight (Humility Domini): Ryan's entire storyline would be rejected with extreme prejudice, which in and of itself would completely undo the established timeline of the Resistance's origins. (He witnessed as Aridor swept in and conquered an entire realm, was tortured and left for dead when he refused to join them, and was just barely rescued in time by another survivor, before fighting to take back the realm and thus becoming the founder of the United Virtue.) Instead, SMeyer would most likely change Ryan into a blatant Carlisle Cullen clone, jam-packed with enough hypocritical pseudo-compassion to make Erin/Joan of "Brewdening Love" fame look like a normal Christian girl in comparison. Part 4: The Sygma (Leaders of Aridor)Jaleela Bayat (Sygma Lust):Apart from her backstory (which involves the Taliban and the general corruption in Afghanistan) being thoroughly tarnished with factual errors, Jaleela herself would be written as a whiny, emo damsel-in-distress who relies on her male partners to do everything for her, as opposed to the seductive ultra-feminist dominatrix she is now; chances are SMeyer would also try to have her perfectly paired off with someone, perhaps Jace or another of the good guys, for exactly this reason. In fact, chances are SMeyer might even omit her character and the position of Sygma Lust altogether, since the title itself has its share of adult implications, and also because Jaleela has practically made a hobby out of seducing men (friend and foe alike) just to keep them under her control.
Tristan Reeves (Sygma Gluttony): I'm not exactly sure what SMeyer would make of Tristan's player-given power; basically he has a pocket dimension in his throat that lets him suck objects into it and then "vomit" the objects out as necessary. But I'm positive that she would most likely do away with Tristan's other power, which lets him turn people into zombie slaves by grafting pieces of his own skin onto them. He's also a multimillionaire, just like the Hikari family, but it's unclear whether or not SMeyer would keep that simply because he's on the bad-guy side. Interestingly enough, he and Sygma Greed have a partnership of sorts going on, Greed being Aridor's chief ambassador and Gluttony basically leading Aridor's troops in battle whenever Greed's negotiations fail, so chances are that SMeyer would take advantage of that by saying that the two are in love, married, or something like that. (Even though their ages are roughly seven years apart.)
Jacqueline Laveau (Sygma Greed): Though she is by no means a weakling, Jacqueline tends to prefer diplomacy and persuasion to actual combat, but SMeyer would definitely take this to the extreme by turning her into the useless damsel-in-distress whom Sygma Gluttony would need to rescue on a daily basis. She also has an illegitimate child (not by Tristan) whom SMeyer would either omit altogether or rewrite as being her perfectly legitimate child with Tristan. And finally, Jacqueline's talent for New Orleans voodoo would probably be discarded in its entirety.
Jason Heart (Sygma Sloth): Actually, I can imagine SMeyer writing a villain similar to Sloth, so she'd probably leave him alone for the most part. (His parents were killed, forcing him to resort to stealing in order to survive, but later he was almost killed by a band of thieves and was rescued by a member of the Sygma.)
Yumisana Sai (Sygma Wrath): Ah yes, the infamous "Oni of the Blood" who got so tired of his foster father giving orders to his men but never fighting himself, that he (Sai) killed said foster father and everyone else on his estate, even down to the women and children. I wouldn't be surprised if SMeyer turned him into a blatant ripoff of James, perhaps having him target Amanda (and only Amanda, passing over all of the other knights) for no adequately explored reason. I might actually be curious to see how she handles his power (his blood is highly corrosive) but chances are she'd fumble with it one way or another, if her handling of meyerpire venom is any indication.
Hyuga Yao (Sygma Envy): The big shocker here is that Hyuga is, in fact, Qiang's husband and Amanda's father; he was manipulated into joining the Sygma, thinking that he could get them to spare his family if he got Qiang and Amanda to leave them be. If SMeyer tried to write such a backstory, chances are she'd thoroughly screw it up by having him be more apathetic toward his family and the war overall, which would pretty much defeat the whole purpose of his siding with Aridor.
Christopher Xander (Sygma Pride): It's interesting to note that Christopher's attitude toward non-Celestians is not unlike what Bella and the Cullens think of humans and non-meyerpires in general. In fact, this attitude is exactly what first compelled him to form Aridor and start conquering realms. In light of this, SMeyer would most likely make Aridor out to be the GOOD GUYS and come up with all sorts of lame excuses to justify his enslavement of the realms and the inhabitants thereof. And my response would be something like, "WTF???" Alternatively, SMeyer might make them out to be quintessential Volturi ripoffs who overall suck at being villains. To which my response would sound more like, "Bitch, please."
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Post by smithkakarot on Mar 23, 2011 8:06:42 GMT -8
Hoooooooo, boy!
-Vampires WOULDN'T all be evil. -Rush Lombardi (main character) would be a vampire and 100-something rather than 20, as well as a self-loathing angstwhore. -Rose (female lead) would be 17, no longer a competent gunslinger, a whiny brat, and the story would be told from her point of view. -These two LOVEBIRDS would "fall in love" almost immediately, instead of their relationship developing S-L-O-W-L-Y. -Mercury Mikhailova Kalashnikov (29-year-old redheaded Russian chick who can make bayonets like Anderson from Hellsing) wouldn't be a widow, and she wouldn't have to fight her undead husband later. -Dhampirs would be full vampires. -Stephen Dragomir (900-year-old dhampir guy) wouldn't be a widower. -Alice Dragomir (900-year-old dhampir girl) would be either an unlikable bitch due to being blonde, or would act exactly like Alice Cullen. -Rushie-boy wouldn't kill vampires on a regular basis. -The whole story in general would be 99% romance and MAAAAAAYBE 1% action, rather than 60% action, 30% comedy, and 10% romance. -The "love interest" (a 15-year-old short blonde guy that vaguely looks and dresses like Edward Elric) of Noodles (14-year-old 4'8" redhead girl that knows magic) would be three times her age. -Since all these characters are named after rock bands/songs/musicians, there'd be someone whose name is a reference to Muse somewhere in there. -Werewolf Boy (haven't thought up a name, last name will definitely be Talbain though) would have to take off his shirt before transforming, instead of his clothes transforming WITH him. -Gregory (the Big Bad, a Chaotic Evil troll vampire with long black hair and a white suit + white trenchcoat + white fedora) wouldn't be a fraction of a fraction as evil. -Rosie-girl wouldn't receive orders to kill Rushie-boy (who she's "head over heels in love with" and all that mushy crap) at one point. -Layla (blonde English 18-year-old girl who was experimented on) would be treated as though she "deserved" what happened to her. -All the human characters except for Rose would be portrayed as selfish scum who're always wrong and Rose is always right.
I'm sure there's more, but for now...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 14:31:41 GMT -8
Where do I begin?
All of these stories seem to be going the same way though...
So...
CHARACTERS:
Lucy: Would not be wide set with prominent hips and breasts, her hair would be longer and not wiry or straw brown. Would not throw wild fits at the drop of a hat. Would not be able to kick complete and utter ass when she wanted to. Would not have gotten into physical fights with her love interest, Wyatt. Would not be intelegent in the least.
Sydney: Would not be empathetic to the enemy. Would have been more snobbish. Would have been much less responsible. Not as much of a dare devil. Not as free spirited. Would not be Lucy's best friend. Would not have as prominent as a role in the story.
Lizzie: Would not have a prominent role in the story. Would be much softer. Wouldn't be blunt and perverted, yet polite. Would not be blonde.
Parents: Would probably not have been mentioned at all. Lucy would not have been early on emancipated. And her father wouldn't have turned evil vampire.
Wyatt: Wouldn't be as aggressive. Wouldn't be a government pawn. Would not be calculating everything that happens next. Would not be scruffy. Would not have a belly. Would not be a total workaholic. Wouldn't get in shouting matches with Lucy. Would not act his age. Would not respect the fact that Lucy is a minor, though they fall for each other before this. Would not be patient enough to wait till she's 18.
Andrew: Would not even be mentioned. Would not be a broken, yet strong, well rounded villain. Would most likely be the love interest because he is a vampire and is the love interest of Lucy's past life. Lucy would not have killed him.
I'm not even going into the sequels. Because Meyer wouldn't have the balls to write from a man's point of view. Especially a genuinely happy man who is a realist, yet an optimist, and an alcoholic, and a womanizer who knows how to treat women. He's genuinely charismatic and funny. He makes fun of himself a lot. She wouldn't let his love interest be black either.
And there wouldn't be dragons. Period.
This kind of killed my brain, but it was fun.
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Tim Willard
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Got pen, paper, booze, and ink, it's time to write.[Mo0:3]
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Post by Tim Willard on Apr 3, 2011 3:45:01 GMT -8
Hmm, just got done writing the second Fraker the Axe book, and started wondering what she'd change:
The Eternal Elba wouldn't be short, the Queen of the Kobolds, surrounded by Peepers, and calm, cool, and collected. She'd be "clumsy" only when it benefited her, her magic wouldn't come at a price, and she wouldn't be able to do anything without a man. She certainly wouldn't have a large kobold soul mate (they've been together for 1,000's of years), an orcish wife known as the Forge Lord, but might be able to keep her husband.
Aveliene, the Sterile Queen of the Wraithkillers wouldn't be fast, sexy, and deadly, an opera diva with a fighting knife in each boot. She'd be stupid, disrespectful to her Step-Mother, wouldn't carry out assassinations, and wouldn't have red hair. She definitely would be relegated to her camoflauge being her real appearance, instead of solid green eyes, 3 rows of sharks teeth, and an inhuman face.
Fraker the Axe would NOT be a bisexual killing machine. He wouldn't eat his own body weight in food, drink everything alcoholic in sight, and stumble his way through the tasks given to him by his Step-Mother. He's be on a quest for Twu Wuv, rather than just wandering around the Six Worlds looking for the next things he could eat, drink, and screw.
The Peeper in the Belt Pouch would talk, instead of just peep, it wouldn't have fangs or poison, it wouldn't bite Fraker every time he tried to get it out of the pouch, and it sure wouldn't tattle on him to Elba all the time.
The plots wouldn't be as funny, since SMeyer doesn't seem to understand actual humor. Gone would be the weird lines that start with "There are two type of people in the Six Worlds, friend..." and usually end with someone getting killed or screwed. Gone would be Aveliene making fun of him before chasing him down, hitting him across the back of the head with a rock, and holding him down to "take her pleasure" on him. Gone would be Elba grinding her teeth, the Forge Lord looking distainfully at Fraker's rusted armor and damaged weapons, and Kings, Queens, and Powerful warlords screaming in terror and fleeing when it's found Fraker is coming.
It would make me sad.
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EarthDragon88
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What tests your relationship is not when things are going well, but when things go badly[Mo0:14]
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Post by EarthDragon88 on Apr 4, 2011 3:44:24 GMT -8
Since I started it about the time that Twilight came out, I'll start with 'Where True Darkness Lies':
-Half the point of the story is that humans both subconsciously have a need to compare themselves to something to make them feel good about themselves, while at the same time, there's a tendency to associate a group based on the vocal, and extreme, minority (look at furries for an example of this) this was actually inspired by both vampire folklore and my headmaster in secondary school, who'd tell us 'People don't notice the many behaving well, but the few behaving badly' at the end of a term. Meyer would strip it of this moral. -Acantha, who in my story is tolerated because of her skill in tracking down the vampires who are wiping out villages at a time, but is known as an Ice Queen to everyone except Drago, would be a bitch for no real reason and on par with either Rosalie or Leah. She also wouldn't cut a vampire in half vertically in front of Carita. -Ira would have been a vampire for hundreds of years and something of an arrogant bastard rather than the fledgling who fights to prevent more ending up like him. -Carita, who is a misled girl seeking vengeance by destroying vampires, would be dependent on Ira to save him, and wouldn't have been engaged to him before he was changed. -Hunters would not exist, and as a result, it would not be treason to treat a supernatural being with anything other than hostility. -The main antagonist would be poorly tacked onto the end, instead of foreshadowed from the start.
Another story I have:
Wouldn't exist, because there is a brutal death at the beginning and half the point is to stop Death himself from destroying all the human race. The main characters are death, his daughter Sophia, Lorelei, a girl who was 'touched' by a reaper when her brother died, and as a result receives prophetic dreams, and Zack, her brother, who becomes an ifrit after his death. I've also cast Christians in a fairly negative light (a warning against taking the words of others literally more than anything).
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Post by candypants on Apr 10, 2011 13:39:44 GMT -8
-The main character wouldn't be a gay man anymore, but be a girl with brown hair and a ditz. -When the main gains the ability to use magic instead of struggling to some what tame it they'd just accept it and be able to use it like they've been doing it for years. -The werewolves would stop going crazy at the full moon, would have no weaknesses and imprint. -The merpeople would sparkle and wouldn't change when water hit them. -Almost all of the fae would be beautiful and not conniving. -The fae villain would be horribly ugly.
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Post by Lord Lovrina on Apr 11, 2011 18:42:56 GMT -8
My vampire would sparkle, and he wouldn't be trying to kill innocent people to feed his need. Instead he would be trying to romance an ordinary human *whiny* girl. The succubus would not exist most likely.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2011 7:18:59 GMT -8
She'd desecrate Circus of the Sinister
Richard- Turn him from wicked reverse-trap into a misunderstood, pretty boy, abusive stalker.
Sabrina- She'd become Richard's love interest.
Charles- He'd probably end up in the Jacob Role, vying for Sabrina's affections.
Sid- Instead of leaving him as a lecherous deviant, she'd make him stick with one partner the entire series.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2011 14:44:58 GMT -8
Hmm, it's still in the works, but I'll give it a shot:
- The two male leads would not be gay and a couple, OR she'd make one of them female. Probably Kyle. (I'll call her Kylie from now on.) Also, it wouldn't take them almost a year to get over their UST; they'd fall in love at first sight. (Is it wrong that I just threw up a little?) - Kylie would now constantly need to be saved by her boyfriend, because she is a defenseless little girl who can't kick ass. Actually, all the girls would be this way, because it's not like most of them were trained to survive and be badass... (end sarcasm.) - If Kylie was still Kyle, Lindsay would be changed from a blonde and they're relationship would be TWU LOVE instead of a sparkless (and sparkleless) one. Or, Lindsay would instead be turned into an uber-bitch so Kyle could fall in love with female lead Janet, because... - Janet will lose any personality and probably become the audience surrogate. Kyle's platonic crush would become a full out, undying love. And Nathan (My!Kyle's Boyfriend) wouldn't be just her best friend, but also totally in love with her to rapist levels, and want to be her 'protector.' - Oh yeah, vampires would exist. And it would take place on Earth, not my own world. And there wouldn't be a World War going on. - Octavia wouldn't be blonde, and instead of just being an incredibly smart but naive 7 year old, she'd really be, like, 1000 and invincible and mature. And she'd be an actual Seer, not just a Seer-in-training. Oh, and she wouldn't die. - Though none of my characters have sex, anything close to it would be taken out. (Making out with, *gasp* tongue! on the bed is a no-no, Nathan and Kylie.) - Nathan will go from a jerk with a heart of gold who is called out on it to a totally abusive douchebag that everyone loves, because 'he's only doing it out of love for Janet/Kylie.' -Lydia, instead of being an amazingly competent leader and young woman who can kill by just lifting her finger, will either become blonde and have her position given to her right hand man or just be turned into a guy herself, because everyone knows woman are too weak and emotional to lead. *end sarcasm* - Steven will not exist, or will be turned super ugly and stupid. Why? Because he's human, and Morrian needs to go to whichever of the guys lose out on the Janet-Kyle-Nathan triangle. If it's Kylie, because he's human and humans are so boring. *end sarcasm* - If the war is included, it will be completely overshadowed by romance and will be ended by talking it out instead of blackmail, genocide, tyranny, half the world being destroyed and *gasp* violence! - Io would be seen as a jealous bitch rather than a saving grace for warning Janet that she'll hate being immortal in the long run. And her hair will be blonde instead of white, and she'll be described as amazingly ugly. And Janet will choose immortality anyways, and love it. - Morrian will start sparkling, because everyone knows immortals sparkle. - Everyone evil or human will become very ugly, and everyone good's level of beauty will become go over 9000.
That should do it. And I only felt like throwing up once!
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Post by neoeevee on Apr 20, 2011 22:25:31 GMT -8
It's all fanfiction, but... ^^;; If she rewrote Alchemists and Anarchy...
Let's assume for five seconds SMeyer has both watched Digimon without writing it off immediately as kids' stuff and that she's even heard of Hellsing or Fullmetal Alchemist. Now watch as characters' previously intricate and complex relationships are reduced to pale imitations with all deeper details to be rambled about in author's notes and never revealed in-story. Marvel at how original Digimon designs that I at least tried to put some thought into are wrecked because gigantic steam-punk-esque digital robot bunnies are too "unrealistic." Be amazed as all the character voices become flat and monotone with occasional failed attempts at snarking, and as SMeyer gets the characterization as wrong as I think I am doing it.
Now go back and reread that entire paragraph in Rei Ayanami's voice.
Now cheer on the angry mob as they storm SMeyer's residence for her daring to even touch the character of Sir Integral Fairbrooke Wingates Hellsing. *is shot*
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2011 11:50:29 GMT -8
- Summer would trip and cry when she was captured at the cemetery (as opposed to calmly leaning with her foot against a tombstone and smiling when the sedative-darts rain down upon her) - The VSCU Team would consist of male shirtless Werewolves... pardon, "Shapeshifters" - The Prison-fortress of Palfak would be a sparkly tower the shape of a unicorn's head (as opposed to a massive, black tower the shape of a person's nightmares) - The Fairies in the book would all sparkle and spend their time watching humans sleep (as opposed to being dark, gloomy and spend their time keeping The Supernatural World in check) - Maestra would probably be the clumzy Prison-cook instead of the creep and badass Prison-Therapist/Mind-fucker - SMeyer would probably spare The (male) Prison Warden his gruesome fate and have him save Maestra all the time throughout the book - Arden would be a pathetic, screamer of a child who does nothing but cause more trouble to the people he's with and constantly has to be saved by them (as opposed to being an effective killing-machine who'd do ANTYHING for his mother-figure Summer and being probably the most useful character in the book) - All gory torture scenes and battle scenes would be replaced by lameass excuses for people walking out on said things (The "climax" of Breaking Dawn, I'm looking at you...)
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