What if SM wrote YOUR work?

[blenderbender]

^I dunno, aren't her fans still waiting on 3-4 books from her by now?

[Deleted]

If Meyer wrote my story? As in, my lesbian romance/action/family story where I did my damndest to make my vampires better and my characters actual characters? Well, for one thing, she wouldn't write it, since she probably doesn't believe in gay relationships, but that's another story.

Here's a list from what I can think of:
- My main character would go from a 5'0 lesbian with a troubled past, a scrappy attitude, a legit fear of vampires by the first chapter, deep seated trust and inferiority issues and abandonment problems due to her mother who PUNCHES A VAMPIRE IN THE FACE to a 5'0, overly flawed girl who can't do a damn thing to protect herself, cowers in fear of men and must be saved throughout the story. Also, she'd be straight.
- My main character's love interest would be turned into a tall, brooding, strong man instead of a woman who controls her and does what he can to make her his.
- No violence, whatsoever.
- The Celtic Pagan father and brother would lose their religions or be demonized somehow for having them.
- The human hating sister would be turned into a spiteful bitch without reason and be demonized.
- The main character would care only about her love interest and not be interested in anyone or anything else.
- The men would be made taller, handsomer and more powerful, while the women would no longer be stronger then them and lose their special, offensive based abilities.
- Women would be lustful, catty, selfish and bitches.
- All blondes would be villainous.
- The conflict would be removed till the end of the story.
- The romance would be shallow and take up the entire book rather then have it build gradually through the first part and be resolved long before the book ends.

Just to begin, that's a few.

[casandraelf]

If Meyer got her hands on Balance of Power...oh God...she'd destroy it.

- Alexa would go from being a girl who adores her mother, is faithful to her best friends and ultimately becomes the Guardian of Balance to a whiny bitch who has nothing wrong in her life who wouldn't end up losing everything in order to ultimately protect the entirety of the universe and would instead become some sort of immortal with no consequences whatsoever.
- Kradia would go from being a genderless godlike being who identifies as female and cares about Alexa to being an angsty immortal who is male and attracted to Alexa.
- Thgilia would go from being a 'female' godlike being with no visible emotions who is Kradia's friend and rival to being a male who wants Alexa and fights Kradia for her.
- A plot about the tenuous balance of order and chaos and how it has to be maintained while adding in a plot about a girl's journey from an ordinary girl to savior of the universe? Fuck that noise! Cliche'd love triangle all the way!

Thank God Meyer doesn't know about my work.

[Deleted]

It would be my worst nightmare, but I think I know what will happen ;D
-the main character will fall in 'true luv' after three chapters
-the 'good' guys will be all handsome, super powerful, perfect and etc.
-the female characters will be weak, shallow, no depth whatsoever
-the 'bad' guys will be ugly not so much scary or will have very simple plans
-the traitor figure will not die and will change into good person who lacked the feeling of true love in his life
-no one ever will die
-everything will be fuzzy, purple prose and very slow moving

[KeyOfTheTwilight]

I've got a new project i'm working on. Otome game contains:

Transsexual
reverse Harem
a nearly broken MC
Loveless family background
possible lesbian choice
traps
sci-fi-ish things about portals
fantasy
battle between two countries and a third unknowing party.
Dead sisters
dead families
revenge
betrayal
plot twists

That's how far I've come up with. I could just add more things if I wanted to.

If Meyer ever wrote my work:

Keeps the harem
minus the lesbian choice
MC will be a whiney brat with a none conflictive past
family love (but since it's meyer the characters wouldn't even care about that kind of love and only care about making love.)
no Trannys
no traps
no betrayal
no dead families
only strangers die
sad excuse of a plot twist
no research about portals
sad excuse of a conflict between countries (will probably forget about the other world)
I guess fake deaths

[annabellamy]

I've been working on these guys for some time:

- Marshall West: he would not be based on Michael, a lovely gay man on my course. He would be based o probably one of her hyper-religious friends (assuming she has any). Marshall would not have learned to shoot a gun when he was three, he'd just have a natural ability for itand some crazy explanation. He and his brother would not be orphans, their parents would be alive and well and their ability to see the dead would only come up when necessary.

- Lucian Teal: Again, he's based on one of my friends. He would not have watched his father and half-sister murdered at the age of 5, then placed in the care of his aunt and uncle who try to beat out his ability to see the dead (an allusion to Harry Potter I'm poud of, but still working on). He would not be stubborn and have cancer (important because it shows how litle he cares for himself later in the story, but I may change cancer to something else). He would only be good with a knife when he cooks, which would not be ever because he would be a vampire.

- Kathy Bound: Based on my friend Kristina, she would be Lucian's 'one' instead of a badass lesbian who also acts as the comforter of the group. She would know her mother and treat her like shit the way Bella does.

- Tim Kleine: he would not have a strong, caramel complexion that's for sure! His elaborate rescue missions using minimal equipment would be ridiculously expensive feats involving fire machines. His father would not be an abusive alcoholic, which would not prompt him to live with Kathy and her father.

[smithkakarot]

Okay, so there's this Frankenstein monster girl that looks like Rachel Alucard named Layla I designed, and...actually, I'm not sure what Meyer would do with her. Her mad scientist "father" that she loved so much killed most of her friends/siblings and nearly killed her, so she acts like a haughty princess on the surface but is really hurting like crazy on the inside. Maybe Meyer wouldn't even use her in the story period. Or maybe, she'd make her a total bitch, since she's blonde.

In fact, Meyer might depict her as a villain, since as pretty as little Layla is, she still has visible stitches on her face...

[mahrahia]

If she wrote my story I'd sue her for plagiarism and copyright infringement.

[annabellamy]

If she wrote the Battles of the Severn I'd be pissed as hell! Do you know how much time and effort I put into researching the RAF and the Royal Navy? The Battle of Britain forms the basis of the air strike and the Gallipoli Campaign is exactly how the naval attack will go down! But no. In Meyerland there's no such thing as an army unless it has supernaturals and nobody dies.

[Deleted]

Good question


*Sakuya would never have killed the Red Phantom
*Princess Leto would've killed Desdemona back in the Meta-age.
*Iwanaga would be beautiful
*Mirri would be a bitch to Sakuya for no reason, since Mirri has blonde hair O:
*Angel Ceres would be a man, baby!
*Kikis, Pegaraptors, Titanotaurs, Leviathans and such would sparkle

[arcanius]

Here's my original story
1.Arhan(Dangit I SWEAR to the world tree it sounds better in my language)will be liked by everyone and instead of a dark and sort of depressed, but grimly determined to do what he belives is right kind of character, he will be just dark and a lot of depressed sitting on his ass while everything gets fixed by his friends(Which he will have a LOT, unlike in my version where his friends are literaly only a girl with a greatsword and a really cynical mage)
2.The said girl with a greatsword will not have a greatsword and will have her spine taken away
3.The Arendians will be represented as complete and utter hideous evil
4.The giant battle between Norans and Arendians never happens because..... Just because
5.Zarien is a beautilful vampire
6.Every bloody and gory mess I prepared doesn't exist or happened of screen
7.You'll be supposed to hate Ontos because he dislikes the protagonist
8.The Ajaric empire is awfully bad and evil - HATE IT
9.It's a warlock power to "see relationships"
10.Arhan and said girl(now without greatsword)get in love because uh..... Well Arhan looks like a supermodel and uh.... because she's spineless and a complete bitch now - thats really something attractive to guys.
11.Pointless love triangle with an Arendian or something
12.The Iron Citadel vs The Sand Spire never occurs, it way too much of destruction and death in a battle..... And there is your reason - it's a battle.
13.The emperor of Ajar is not ugly and hated even if intelligent, he's magnificent and loved by all and his IQ is now 2 numbers with a comma between them.
I got a lot more but I'll have to explain a lot of the world here for it to make sense to anyone but me

[annabellamy]

The Archives would not be a safe haven for necromancers; instead they would find a way to make peace with the vampires who had them enslaved for over a decade.

[EquinoxSolstice92]

My novel is a chick literature about a girl who is a shopaholic. In my story though, she will suffer the consequences of her actions and the girl would actually have to sacrifice her collector's items.

-My main character would get everything she wants. She would get the job she wants which is to design bags instead of working at a store.
-She wouldn't have to sacrifice.
-She would be given a happy ending.
-She doesn't need to go to therapy because who needs to sort out their problems.

It would be like the Confessions of a Shopaholic. She would get everything she wants without working for it.

[Madame Celeste]

If SMeyer found my offsite RP satire of the princess-and-dragon fairy tale cliché and turned it into her next book? Let's see...

1) The dragons in this RP, while in human form, wouldn't look like normal everyday humans save for their reptilian eyes. Instead, SMeyer would say their human forms look "too beautiful to possibly be human", and said reptilian eyes would be described as resembling "liquid [insert precious gem here]" or some purple-prose crap like that. And just to add insult to injury, they would also sparkle, which SMeyer would probably handwave by saying that their scales shrink into translucent little diamonds.

2) In dragon form, they would all be described as "beautiful, magnificent beings" and would all be the stereotypical European fire-breathing dragons, since SMeyer can't be bothered to research the many different types of dragons portrayed by various cultures throughout the world.

3) On that note, the cultural differences between dragon societies from different parts of the world would all be completely ignored, and instead of some colonies living in very primitive settings in the wilderness, all of the dragons would live in luxurious mansions and flaunt their fabulous wealth for all the lowly humans to see. Yeah, because when people think of dragons, they think of pompous idiots who strut around in fancy cars and designer clothes for no good reason. /HEAVYSARCASM

4) The Rite of Ages, a traditional rite of passage for young dragons that involves kidnapping princesses, slaying knights, and ruling over human towns, would NOT be a hotly-debated topic among dragons in modern times, but would simply be accepted without question by everyone, humans and dragons alike. (There goes the main storyline...)

5) The European dragons' harshly critical view of humans, instead of being acknowledged as unfairly prejudicial and even hypocritical to an extent, would be described as entirely correct and justified by the narrative, because everybody knows that humanity sucks. /MOREHEAVYSARCASM

6) All of the dragons will be lazy bums who make no effort whatsoever to fix what they perceive to be the evils of the world, and will never get called out for it. (In the actual RP, such behavior is severely frowned upon in traditionalist dragon societies.)

7) The "ultimate sacrifice" (willful offering of one's life for some purpose), instead of being treated like a sacred act/promise to be taken very seriously, would be reduced to a mere excuse for dragon characters to exhibit fits of wangst not unlike those in New Moon.

8) Instead of the sexes being equal as far as dragons are concerned, female dragons will all be either submissive housewives, spineless damsels-in-distress to be rescued by the male dragons, or outcast bitches. (My two female dragon characters, Skadi and Vergelta, are both proud badasses who don't take crap from anybody, so this would be particularly painful for me.)

SPECIFIC CHARACTERS
(including characters not played by me)

Alissa Reynolds, the US President's daughter, would instantly fall in TWU WUV (a.k.a. Stockholm Syndrome) with Terje, my male dragon character, when he tries to kidnap her as part of his Rite of Ages. She'd also be turned into a spineless, selfish Bella Swan clone, as opposed to the kind and brave girl she's portrayed as in the RP. In fact, knowing SMeyer, it wouldn't surprise me if she had Alissa let herself be kidnapped just so she can be with Terje and/or help him complete the Rite of Ages.

On that note, President Reynolds would either be portrayed as a bumbling idiot instead of the competent, loving father and political leader he is in the RP, or he'd be painted in a very negative light simply for having the audacity to worry about his daughter's safety and thus risk separating Alissa and Terje.

Arabelle, daughter of the French monarch, would be reduced to a no-name bitch a la Lauren from Twilight.

Terje would be a manipulative, abusive, sociopathic douche instead of a sheltered, somewhat naive dragon who tends to be very shy around humans.

Skadi, Terje's more impulsive and mischievous twin sister, would be written off as a stuck-up bitch for no reason at all. (Double points if SMeyer makes her sterile, even though there's no reason in the RP as of yet for the issue to even be brought up.) Her and Terje's internal conflicts as they try to reconcile their traditionalist upbringing with what they learn about humanity over the course of the RP will be simply glossed over at best, and omitted altogether at worst.

Blake and Rehtias, two outcast dragons living among humans after they were each disowned for speaking out against the Rite of Ages, could go one of two ways. They would either be blank-slate hypocrites a la Carlisle Cullen who claim to love humans but do nothing whatsoever to help mankind, or they would be turned into cookie-cutter villains a la James to be killed offscreen by Terje after targeting Alissa for no adequately explained reason. Neither portrayal would have any semblance of accuracy compared to the real Blake and Rehtias, who both genuinely care about humanity and actively try to protect humans at all costs whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Vergelta, the current "villain" of the RP, would target only Alissa for no good reason, as opposed to the real Vergelta, who harbors a bitter grudge against all of humanity following a traumatic series of events that have yet to be revealed in the RP. All traces of complexity in her character would be erased to reduce her to yet another cookie-cutter villain, and she would likewise be killed off by Terje offscreen.

And all other characters, including minor characters like Terje and Skadi's parents and the elders of their colony, would serve virtually no purpose in the RP except to either glorify the TWU WUV between Alissa and Terje, or be demonized as good-for-nothing assholes for no good reason.

[saberwolf15]

I don't be even want to think what'd she'd do to my Story Half-Blood

-First the main pairing (LucasxIan) wouldn't happen because they're gay

-Lucas wouldn't have been completely shunned by his classmates or be betrayed by his former best-friend/First Love nor would he suffer from severe parental neglect because his parents (A model and financial broker) are always gone for work.

-His suicide attempt would be glossed over

-Xander wouldn't have been abused by his mother and stepfather all his life nor would he have been kiced out for being gay and wouldn't have met Derrick (a grown man) who forced him into prositution at 15 and wouldn't be shunned by both Mages and Fey for being a Changeling (Half-Mage and Fey (Elf specifically))

-Jonah wouldn't have been forced to run away from home because his parents (or at least his mother his Father was to cowardly to take him away himself) wanted to murder him because he was a Mage when he was 5. Nor would he have been tortured and injected with demon blood from 7 to 13 by the Cabal and Chase (his first love who looks exactly like Xander) wouldn't have died of brain cancer

-Lucas' mother Marie wouldn't have been killed by the Cabal when he tried to save her and Lucas wouldn't have snapped and slaughtered them and suffer a mental breakdown afterwards or be haunted with a phantom vision of her afterwards.

-Lucas wouldn't be a Dark-Mage because Dark is evil

Allison wouldn't be a bad as a ninja assassin who knows a lot more than she should. She'd be a complete pusover

-the sex scenes would be removed.

-Greg's family wouldn't have been slaughtered right in front of him when he was little.

-Ian's brash, impulsive nature wouldn't be a flaw and his overprotectiveness and bouts of jealousy would be considered okay

... I think I'm done... Ugh

[theclowhatter]

well, since I took the test that I write like Meyer. So I asked someone else to write about my character. So I'll go by their shenanigans on my character.

Embers
-YingGirl will be constantly moping for a loved one and finally decides to have two suitors to cater to her whims. So she's a two timing Bella Swan interested in polyandry.
-Her relationship with Pluto or Candy will be non existent because a heterosexual girl can't have relationship with girlfriends.
-The vampire who is out after Candy will be seen as the good guy and will make Candy his undead bride. Because vampires are awesome than humans.

The Fic
-The King of Darkness has YingGirl as his wife. She will obey his commands and will never strike a hand against him. Because YingGirl avoided having to sacrifice herself because the King's controlling views are expressions of tru luv for her.
-Racheal would be seen as a spinster witch because she can never find a man.
-Cother and Matthew end up being together.
-Detective Brodwick will allow the King of Darkness to rule the City of Lights because he's a lowly human.