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Sept 10, 2011 15:38:57 GMT -8
Post by Weed Candy (AwesomesauceSoup) on Sept 10, 2011 15:38:57 GMT -8
Okay. There is a pretty small chance my friend will see this, but I am pissed right now. I've had a really bad day yesterday, and that anger is brought over to today like a bad hangover.
I have a friend, an artist friend. Said artist friend goes through more art crises than a germophobe washes their hands (not apologizing for this analogy, too angry). It's always about one thing: eyes. You see, she was an anime artist, and decided to try to move away from this and try a more "Disney-ish" style. This isn't a bad thing, because every artist is going to go through revolutions where they try something different. Sometimes it works, and if it looks better, then you keep it.
Problem being, it's pissing me off because it's turning her into one of those artist-people I really fucking hate: the ones that constantly complain about how when they sit down and try to make a good picture, it looks like shit, but then when they doodle, it looks soooo much better.
What kind of attitude is this? Fuck that.
Also, she traces. To set the record straight, she's not tracing anime screenshots and submitting them to deviantART as her own work, not like that. But, she is tracing random pictures off the internet for the sake of jokes or to save time or some bs like that. When I call her on her shit (I am staunchly anti-tracing), she's like "you need to lighten up" and this is fucking bullshit. I have more legitimate reasons not to trace than you have to trace. :I
I was going to add some other unrelated rant to this but I can't remember it and it's pissing me off.
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Trueblade
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She's in this bus. You might as well switch lanes. She's crazy.[Mo0:10]
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Sept 10, 2011 15:52:09 GMT -8
Post by Trueblade on Sept 10, 2011 15:52:09 GMT -8
When I'm really fucking pissed, I want to kill something. I want to mutilate something. I know that I can't though, so I draw people with horrible things happening to them, like being mutilated, burned, decapitated, etc. If I rant about it, I'd read over what I wrote and I'd be even more pissed. If I draw things, then I get caught up in the details and then I forget about what I was angry about.
Then when I calm down, I look over what I drew and wonder what the fuck is wrong with myself.
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Nebbles is quite whimsical
Persistent Member
It's not just a boulder! It's a rock! A rock! A rock! It's a big, beautiful, old rock!
And ponies and ponies and ponies...[Mo0:1][mu:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4akG7V6kbNU]
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Sept 10, 2011 15:55:37 GMT -8
Post by Nebbles is quite whimsical on Sept 10, 2011 15:55:37 GMT -8
I wish I could sing better, I don't want to do anything in my life that demands me to sing for a living. I also get really pissed when I hear a good voice cover of a song on youtube they comment on how 'shitty they sound' makes me mad and feel like I should have thier talent because I would be confident about.
THIS! Though, to be fair, I'm thinking about getting singing lessons of my own when I get a job...
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Sept 10, 2011 16:06:05 GMT -8
Post by vampirekites on Sept 10, 2011 16:06:05 GMT -8
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Sherry
Member
I'm a homosexual, not a fag. I don't see people lighting my back end and smoking out my mouth.[Mo0:0
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Sept 10, 2011 23:13:41 GMT -8
Post by Sherry on Sept 10, 2011 23:13:41 GMT -8
After the night my sister, J, put me into such a rage, I can't think of her the same way. I just can't. She went too far that time, and I don't think I can ever forgive her for that. I will not utter a word to her about this. Ever.
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Trueblade
Persistent Member
She's in this bus. You might as well switch lanes. She's crazy.[Mo0:10]
Posts: 1,394
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Sept 11, 2011 18:24:24 GMT -8
Post by Trueblade on Sept 11, 2011 18:24:24 GMT -8
I ship my classmates together. And it's slash. And I think they would look really hot together.
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Sept 11, 2011 19:28:18 GMT -8
Post by Melon Collies [Mo] on Sept 11, 2011 19:28:18 GMT -8
I feel like I tend to half-ass almost everything I do, and it really pisses me off, but I feel like I'm too lazy to do anything about it. It just feels like there's no real point in what I'm doing, even my own artwork and writing I tend to rush or not complete it as fully as I could.
I can spend hours upon hours just thinking about what the point is to life, how everything came to be, what other people think, and other such thoughts. Most of them end up depressing me, and then I start to wonder if there's any purpose to MY life, and blah blah blah you know...
I loathe men, and often can't stand to be in close proximity with them for very long. Even nicer boys freak me out. The reason probably being that I was bullied by boys more often than I was by girls back in elementary school, and my immediate first impressions of a boy are that of a immature, sexist pig with abysmal intelligence and having a risk of hurting me somehow. This is probably why I've fallen for girls in the past, because I can't trust men. Not yet, at least. I'm hoping to try and get over the irrational hatred, but it's hard to let go.
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xander
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[Mo0:15]
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Sept 11, 2011 19:53:13 GMT -8
Post by xander on Sept 11, 2011 19:53:13 GMT -8
As much as I try to downplay it, I'm hugely egotistical. Like, massively so. I'm not happy until I get the attention I feel I deserve. Which I have been very happy recently (for the most part), because I feel I'm getting it. And I want more.
I also downplay how truly selfish I am. If I do/say something nice? You can bet your money on it that I did it because it has some benefit for me. 99% of the time, the reason I do something, is because it benefits me. Only 1%> of the time do I do something out of the kindness in my heart.
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Sept 11, 2011 20:01:27 GMT -8
Post by Melon Collies [Mo] on Sept 11, 2011 20:01:27 GMT -8
^I get that way too. I have a pretty bad superiroity complex. :S I tend to think I'm the smartest person in my grade, which I know is not true at all (though I do feel the smartest people I know went to the other school, whcih makes me quite sad). However, I do try and be symopathetic and do try to be a geniuinely kind person to others, even if I don't like them. Which is mroe than I can say for myself back in elementary school. XD
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Sept 11, 2011 22:30:10 GMT -8
Post by annaofcrazyland on Sept 11, 2011 22:30:10 GMT -8
I ship my classmates together. And it's slash. And I think they would look really hot together. So does my friend Ellie. xD I think her main ship is Ethan/Mike right now.
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Sept 12, 2011 9:53:31 GMT -8
Post by scieanopsocellatus on Sept 12, 2011 9:53:31 GMT -8
I'm ready to admit that I'm robosexual. I've had way too many crushes on robots for it to be a coincidence. And I don't even know why I'm robosexual, I just am. I'm not embarassed about it. My friends tease me about it ("you and your robots" is pretty much my roomie's catchphrase towards me nowadays), but I don't mind. I like being the robosexual of the group. ^^
But I've seriously been sitting around all weekend trying to figure it out, and I can't. Mainly it's their personalities that I've been attracted to...but why is it that a metal shell is what REALLY revs me up? Sure, I'd rather have a man with a sweet personality (since in this era, robots aren't advanced enough to show free-will in stuff, and I dont want a sex-slave bot, it's really confusing)...but why is it that I see a sweet man on a movie and think "Aw, how cute," but see a sweet robot and go "Sex me, now, plz." Maybe it's their voices? I don't know....I am so confuuuuused. xP I honestly can't figure out this attraction I have to artificial intelligence. Ah well, I'll just roll with it.
So while hoardes of women fawn over Edward and Jacob, I'll be snuggling Legion and Wheatley over here. <3 Not saying I WON'T get with a human man...if he offers, then I will...but until then, I'm happy with my robots. I fell in love with a dolphin once. It wasn't a sexual love, ew fuck no. But I don't know what kind of love it was. It wasn't platonic, it wasn't romantic, it wasn't even the sort of affection I feel for my pets. I just adored him, wanted to hug him and give him a kiss on the nose. I was willing to get up at four in the morning to watch this dolphin and make sure he didn't die (he was at a dolphin hospital I volunteer at). When I saw him again last month, I wanted to cry in sheer joy. If I could adopt him and keep him in a pool in my backyard, I would so do it. I just love that little brat of a dolphin. So maybe it's maternal? I dunno, it doesn't feel like the same maternal-ness I feel for my nieces or roomie. I don't know. All I know is that it's not sexual, and there is no way in hell that I will ever fuck a dolphin. I'm scared of killer whales. When I was a kid, I adored them. As I grew up, I became afraid of them. I got to stand next to their pool, but I didn't want to. They're just so big and cranky and strong...I'm scared of them all. Except Sweet Keet, but that's because he seemed to be a nervous soul like me.
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Captain Victoria
Persistent Member
My oolong heals, and your dealer deals for quite a hefty fee. So I self-medicate with tea.[Mo0:13]
Posts: 1,119
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Sept 12, 2011 14:04:51 GMT -8
Post by Captain Victoria on Sept 12, 2011 14:04:51 GMT -8
I'm listening to a viola concerto and it breaks my heart because I feel as though I'll never be able to pick it back up again. Why? When I listen to music, colours of various intensities and brilliance...s are associated with tones and instruments. For instance, deeper stringed instruments tend to be shades of rust-brown - the deeper the note, the rustier the shade. Violas and violins tend to be blues. Now, the colours in a song can change depending on the emotions within it - after that, the songs and instruments are more like individuals to me and less like inanimate objects. It's weird to explain. Anyway, as I listen to this, I realise that the reason I stopped playing the viola was because I had some trouble learning how to make the instrument speak as it should, if you will. I never felt like I was on the same wavelength as the viola and when I was, I felt as though I was a million miles away - I lost track of time and space. Things slowed down and all that existed was myself and my instrument. I felt as though I could crawl inside of the notes and live there. When the viola and I were on the same frequency, it was as close to euphoria as I could get - especially as a depressed child - without slipping drugs into my system. That said, I feel as though I can't pick it back up because I do not think that I could get it to speak like it should, I feel as though I'd fail the instrument - that I'd let it down in some fashion, and that it would deserve a better companion than I. Does anyone else think of instruments as individuals capable of emotion, despite their being inanimate? Also, the thing is that this idea of emotion seems to occur most often with violins, violas, and cellos. I get the same idea of feelings from other instruments, but nothing quite so intense as the listed three. I also hate, hate, hate going into pawn shops because I know there'll be abandoned violas and violins in there and it makes me very sad to think about.
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Sept 16, 2011 9:26:36 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Sept 16, 2011 9:26:36 GMT -8
Dewdrop, I can relate a bit to that. I used to get depressed listening to the guitar solo at the end of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb", knowing that I'd never be able to play like that. Not the raw talent, if I practiced enough I probably could, but the things he makes that music say, the impact of it all is just...incredible to me. It's lessened since I've realized that singing is my real passion, but I still get a bit bummed out when I play guitar and it all just feels a little flat to me.
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Sept 16, 2011 9:42:24 GMT -8
Post by annaofcrazyland on Sept 16, 2011 9:42:24 GMT -8
I often go to Wikipedia and read articles about obscure folklore, mostly Celtic and Japanese. I also love creepypasta.
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xander
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[Mo0:15]
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Sept 24, 2011 7:33:59 GMT -8
Post by xander on Sept 24, 2011 7:33:59 GMT -8
And it was at this moment, that I realized she's just as insecure about this friendship as I am.
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Sept 25, 2011 20:12:26 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Sept 25, 2011 20:12:26 GMT -8
I'm still under 270 lbs. 250 right now actually. I lost 2 more lbs and finally started eating normal again. I'm so fucking happy. I probably weighed myself 20 times this past weekend just to make sure it was still the same. I kind of feel like a failure because I've been so hungry this past week, but I don't even give a shit. I'm 250 and I can fit into shit that hasn't fit me in years.
The only thing I hate about it is that it makes me feel like such a fucking girl, it makes Ben angry/scared, and Julie keeps joking about it not realizing how much it fucks with me. I hate feeling like a bitch. I hate it so fucking much.
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Animosity
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\m/[Mo0:0][mu:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LrGSIYAn9c]
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Sept 26, 2011 20:23:51 GMT -8
Post by Animosity on Sept 26, 2011 20:23:51 GMT -8
It's funny . . . I know there are lots of people who care about me. It's all fine with them right now, but I have a feeling the second I come out they're all going to freak out and treat me like a different person. And then all those people who say they love me now are just going to get up and leave.
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Sept 26, 2011 20:36:24 GMT -8
Post by aealo on Sept 26, 2011 20:36:24 GMT -8
It's funny . . . I know there are lots of people who care about me. It's all fine with them right now, but I have a feeling the second I come out they're all going to freak out and treat me like a different person. And then all those people who say they love me now are just going to get up and leave. Oh same. ._.
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Story Keeper
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There's a wild wind blowin', down the corner of my street[Mo0:1]
Posts: 1,129
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Sept 26, 2011 22:48:04 GMT -8
Post by Story Keeper on Sept 26, 2011 22:48:04 GMT -8
I've cried more than once doing algebra. Why fucking do it? You count with numbers, not sodding letters that intimidate you.
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Demeter
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You know what you are in the dark...[Mo0:8]
Posts: 4,114
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Sept 27, 2011 20:25:48 GMT -8
Post by Demeter on Sept 27, 2011 20:25:48 GMT -8
I've cried more than once doing algebra. Why fucking do it? You count with numbers, not sodding letters that intimidate you. Algebra's fun. The easy stuff is like one of those really simple puzzles that are in the doctor's office so you do them for shits and giggles. (The hard stuff sucks, though. Especially if you haven't done any of it for two years.)
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Sept 27, 2011 20:36:28 GMT -8
Post by nchaos on Sept 27, 2011 20:36:28 GMT -8
It's funny . . . I know there are lots of people who care about me. It's all fine with them right now, but I have a feeling the second I come out they're all going to freak out and treat me like a different person. And then all those people who say they love me now are just going to get up and leave. I felt that way, too. I think everyone who's ever had to come out does, honestly. It's fucking awful, and I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, broseph.
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Lyra
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Professional Goatback Rider
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Sept 27, 2011 20:45:52 GMT -8
Post by Lyra on Sept 27, 2011 20:45:52 GMT -8
I've cried more than once doing algebra. Why fucking do it? You count with numbers, not sodding letters that intimidate you. Algebra's fun. The easy stuff is like one of those really simple puzzles that are in the doctor's office so you do them for shits and giggles. (The hard stuff sucks, though. Especially if you haven't done any of it for two years.) That's probably the best summary I've seen of algebra anywhere. I love the solving process, but I don't like when triangles and such are dragged into it.
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Sept 28, 2011 19:25:24 GMT -8
Post by Weed Candy (AwesomesauceSoup) on Sept 28, 2011 19:25:24 GMT -8
I do not give a single shit what anyone says, I am the best singer I have ever heard. I am confident that no one I have heard can sing better than me.
People may be able to draw better than me, but they will never be able to sing better than me. You can't take that pride from me.
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Animosity
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\m/[Mo0:0][mu:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LrGSIYAn9c]
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Sept 28, 2011 19:58:09 GMT -8
Post by Animosity on Sept 28, 2011 19:58:09 GMT -8
It's funny . . . I know there are lots of people who care about me. It's all fine with them right now, but I have a feeling the second I come out they're all going to freak out and treat me like a different person. And then all those people who say they love me now are just going to get up and leave. Oh same. ._.I felt that way, too. I think everyone who's ever had to come out does, honestly. It's fucking awful, and I'm sorry that you're dealing with that, broseph. *insert internet group hug here*
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xander
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[Mo0:15]
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Sept 28, 2011 23:58:51 GMT -8
Post by xander on Sept 28, 2011 23:58:51 GMT -8
I really wish I could just come out about who I am.
No, I'm not talking about coming out as being transgendered.
I mean coming out as Xan. I was born some time in late March of this last year. I am a boy. I don't really like sweets. I hate horror movies and creepy pasta. Running is fun. Pop-y electronica is beast. Hanging by myself is great. I don't need anybody. I don't want a any deep romantic relationship. I am determined. I challenge myself. I don't have any clue what meat tastes like, because I've never had any. I strive to be better than I already am. I want to live life.
I am the exact opposite of the "original" mind.
Her? Her name was Haley. She was born on June 14th, 1993. She was a girl. She loved sweets. She adored horror movies and creepy stories. She hated running with a burning passion. She hated pop, thinking it too "girly". She hated being alone. She needed somebody. She was desperate to be in a relationship, and she about cried herself to sleep every night not having one. She easily gave up. She was terrified of failure. She knew what meat tasted like before she stopped eating it. She wanted to be better than what she was, but she never did anything about it. She wanted to die.
So, she did. Tyren knew her. I never did. She died as I was born. I took Tyren's place. I took her place.
And I'm so tired. I'm tired of having to pretend to be her. I'm tired of having to recall her memories as if they were my own. I'm tired of having to acknowledge people I don't know, because she knew them. I'm tired of having to go by her name.
I want to make my own memories. I want to make my own friends that are my friends, and weren't just "passed" to me from her. I want to live as me not her.
Maybe that's why college and Ari make me so happy. College is a new start. I get to learn what I want I get to flourish. I get to make my own memories. I get to forget about her memories and replace them with my own. Ari. Ari was my first friend when I came around. She's my best friend. I love her. With her, I have no worries about her because she didn't really know Ari very well, nor did Ari know her very well. I'm able to make my own memories with her, without Haley's memories springing up.
I really wish I could just shout it out. "I'm not Haley! Haley is DEAD. Stop calling me HER name. I'm not her! I'm Xan! XAN! HALEY DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE."
But I can't. Not even to my best friend. I skirted around it in the vaguest way possible, to kind of get the point across but not give anything away.
If you just read this and think I'm a complete nutter for it, congratulations. There's the exact reason I can't tell anybody, even though I want to.
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Sept 30, 2011 9:17:37 GMT -8
Post by Corporal Flashback on Sept 30, 2011 9:17:37 GMT -8
I don't want to move back to Coventry. I kinda wanna stay at home and commute but I don't know how to tell my parents and my best friend...especially since I'm supposed to be moving in (lol where to?) tomorrow?
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Wham Bam I Am! Jam
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Someone that you have deprived of everything is no longer in your power. [Mo0:0]
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Sept 30, 2011 10:10:12 GMT -8
Post by Wham Bam I Am! Jam on Sept 30, 2011 10:10:12 GMT -8
I think Hirohito was more evil than Hitler. I always want to cry if I've been criticized. I know I shouldn't; I know criticism is good for me. But it just eats at my mind constantly and there's this voice that tells me, "You're just not good enough." And I just want to cry. I love listening to Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen.) It just makes me feel...nice.
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Post by Mmm Yog-Sothoth on Oct 2, 2011 1:28:46 GMT -8
I think Hirohito was more evil than Hitler. I always want to cry if I've been criticized. I know I shouldn't; I know criticism is good for me. But it just eats at my mind constantly and there's this voice that tells me, "You're just not good enough." And I just want to cry. I love listening to Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen.) It just makes me feel...nice. Not near as many people died there, but nevertheless, Unit 731 >>>> Auschwitz in terms of raw brutality. I'm really surprised so few people have heard of it.
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Wham Bam I Am! Jam
Persistent Member
Someone that you have deprived of everything is no longer in your power. [Mo0:0]
Posts: 3,066
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Post by Wham Bam I Am! Jam on Oct 2, 2011 7:17:26 GMT -8
I think Hirohito was more evil than Hitler. I always want to cry if I've been criticized. I know I shouldn't; I know criticism is good for me. But it just eats at my mind constantly and there's this voice that tells me, "You're just not good enough." And I just want to cry. I love listening to Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen.) It just makes me feel...nice. Not near as many people died there, but nevertheless, Unit 731 >>>> Auschwitz in terms of raw brutality. I'm really surprised so few people have heard of it. I'm also pretty fucking pissed that he was allowed to stay in power, even after the whole China/Korea/Taiwan shenanigan (and that's limiting it) and after encouraging his citizens to kill themselves if Japan lost the war.Yeah, he could almost make Hitler seem kind and compassionate in comparison.
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Sherry
Member
I'm a homosexual, not a fag. I don't see people lighting my back end and smoking out my mouth.[Mo0:0
Posts: 744
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Oct 2, 2011 22:57:09 GMT -8
Post by Sherry on Oct 2, 2011 22:57:09 GMT -8
^I've hear of Hirohito... my school had a book on him in the library and I read it for a little bit. I quit because I got bored of it, but that was because I wasn't into history like I am now. I wish I could pick it up again. :C
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